What's Your Name? (dub-con)

Sadie looked down at the road as she walked from her philosophy class to her friend's apartment. Going to a prestigious school meant way too much homework and her brain being fried after each class, but that didn't mean she wasn't able to take some time to be social and be around her friends. Or rather, friend singular, considering she didn't have any time to really get to know anyone other than Zara — an upperclassman she happened to meet on her orientation day.

When meeting Zara for the first time, Sadie felt almost inferior in a way. Even though Sadie herself was smart enough to get into the university, Zara was far more functional than her; she was more involved with student organizations, and despite being in 300 and 400 level classes as opposed to 100 and 200 level classes, she somehow was able to keep a large circle of friends.

And that was partially today's problem: Every time Sadie tried to meet one of Zara's friends, she was halted by her social anxiety making her run away to a bathroom (after meeting two or three people) to text Zara that she was sorry, she wasn't feeling well, she was going to pack it in and go home early, and she'll text her again to make plans soon. Sadie desperately wanted to get to know Zara's friends. This was both because Sadie wanted to actually have a social life and not seem like she was clinging to Zara 24/7, but also because she wanted to impress Zara.

Zara was awesome, smart, pretty, popular... she was everything Sadie thought of herself as not being. Zara was involved in a vast portion of the student life, including the student council, the volleyball team, one of the many leftist organizations, and a film club. (She was also secretly part of the anime club, but she refused to tell anyone except Sadie that.)

Sadie, meanwhile, was socially awkward, shutting down every time someone tried to talk to her. While she was smart enough to get into such a fancy university, she was exchanging her social life for excellent grades. She had no idea how to do makeup or work with her hair, and her wardrobe consisted mainly of T-shirts, hoodies, and jeans; not to mention she was on the chubbier side, which wasn't as much of a problem to her. And she was the furthest thing from popular, by a long shot.

And that's all what she was going to change today: she was going to ask Zara how to make her cool.

~~

Zara always brewed the best tea. Sadie had no idea how she did it; every time she tried to copy Zara's steps, the tea always came out either too strong, too weak, or just wrong. Fortunately, Sadie didn't have to worry about making tea for her friend; after all, Zara was hospitable enough to take over each and every time.

They had different preferences in tea. Zara preferred spicy or minty teas, while Sadie enjoyed the fruity flavors, and if something was too bitter she would add one, two... three tablespoons of honey to it. Of course, Zara didn't actually have tea too often — she much preferred coffee to start her day off right. Sadie could never get used to the taste of coffee. She just gave up on caffeine at one point and got used to going to class in the morning exhausted.

The first 30 minutes or so of their hangout went nicely; Sadie had some questions about some homework for a freshman class Zara took long, long ago and Zara was more than happy to help with that. But when they had a quiet moment, Zara noticed something was off.

"You look different today, Sadie," Zara noted. "Is something on your mind?"

"Um... well, yes," Sadie nodded, her voice becoming much quieter as she spoke. "I just... I had a question."

Already, she was beating herself up for how she sounded. Just get to the point, she urged herself.

"Well, alright. What's going on?"

Zara's voice was patient, understanding. Even though Sadie felt like a speck of dust compared to her, Zara was always understanding, always willing to extend a listening ear to her. Sadie's shoulders drooped and her voice was barely above a shameful whisper.

"How... how do you be cool?"

A wave of silence hung over the two of them. Sadie was glazing her eyes downwards, a hot blush overcoming her face; Zara, meanwhile, just stared at Sadie with both confusion and amusement on her face. Sadie didn't notice, but if she looked, it was clear Zara was trying to hide a (almost mocking) smile.

"Are you asking how to be popular, or how to talk to people, or...?" Zara asked, trailing off as she tried to clarify.

"I... yes. All of those. I want to... have friends. I want to, well... be cool."

"See, there's more to being a functional person than having friends," Zara reaffirmed. "You're cool in your own way. You're smart, ahead of your class. You're... well, you don't talk much, but you listen well. Maybe start by seeing that instead of changing yourself?"

Sadie considered this. Maybe Zara was right; maybe she was just having serious self-esteem issues. Was she just making a big deal out of nothing? She figured she was probably annoying Zara just by asking these stupid questions, or being an imposition.

But no, she had to know.

"I... I want to be cool. Like you. I want to be able to go to your parties and not run away in seconds. I want to make friends with your friends and actually know... know how to have a conversation. I don't know. I'm being stupid, I'm really sorry..." Sadie stopped advocating for herself; she knew she was being embarrassing. In fact, she had half a mind to just step up and leave instantly.

Luckily for her, Zara stopped her before she could take any such action.

"I hear you," spoke Zara in a soft voice. "I think your problem is you're too hard on yourself. You don't think you deserve to be in other people's presence, or that you're being too annoying or loud... right?"

Sadie nodded quietly.

"Well, I can't erase that, you see. But I may know a few tricks to make you feel... calmer, in a way?"

That piqued Sadie's interest. She immediately piped up with, "Yes, please show me! I'll do anything."

Zara snorted, trying her hardest not to laugh at Sadie's enthusiasm for being cool. Sadie noticed she was being laughed at and shrunk again. "Very well. I'm going to tell you something special about me... but you can't tell anyone." As Zara spoke, Sadie looked at her with intent eyes and nodded.

Her next question, however, sent Sadie back a little.

"Do you know anything about hypnotism?"

Sadie gaped. She tried to express immediate concern, not wanting to get into any shenanigans, but she stopped herself. "Um... yeah, I know a bit, why? Isn't that stuff dangerous?"

"Oh no, not at all," Zara exhaled as she shook her head. "It's quite relaxing, actually. I've been taking side courses to become a certified hypnotherapist on the side."

Just another way she was amazing, Sadie thought, if not terrifying.

"It's quite nice, and could be really helpful for anxiety and a general lack of confidence. I'd love to try it on you. If you're willing to try anything, this might be a good starting point?"

She hesitated. She wasn't sure.

"I... I don't know," Sadie shrunk. "Do you really think it'll work?"

"Trust me," Zara nodded. "It will. I can make it work for you."

Another long strand of silence went over the two as Sadie considered her options, and as Zara waited for Sadie's decision. Sadie did say anything. She was willing to try anything. She desperately wanted to get over herself and be confident. The idea of going to parties with Sadie, making friends with her social circle, and holding her own parties and whatnot... those thoughts excited her. And that excitement spoke over any prior hesitation she had.

"Alright," Sadie made a decision. "I'll try it."

"Good!" Zara smiled genuinely, and clasped her hands together. "Well, I suppose now's a good time as ever, y'know?"

"N-now? Like, right now?" Sadie's sudden certainty waned a bit.

"Well, sure." Zara shrugged. "You're very eager to get started, no? And, well... I'm going to a sorority party tonight. I'm sure you'd like to come with me and test out your newfound confidence, yes?"

"Um... yes." Sadie nodded. "Okay, so... how do we do this? Do you like, wave a pocket watch in front of my eyes and tell me I'm getting very sleepy?"

"Pocket watches are... one way we could go about it. I do have a very nice one," Zara explained. "The point of hypnosis is to make your conscious mind fall asleep for your subconscious mind to accept any suggestions the hypnotist — in our case, myself — may give to it. Any sort of repetitive and relaxing visual works, though not everything works for everyone. What I'm saying is... you have options."

Sadie considered this. "So... what are my options?"

"Well, as you said, pocket watches. And you probably know of spirals too; that's another popular one. Some people use ambient sound, or other relaxing sounds like a metronome or fire crackling. There's also always the 'surprise me' option," Zara ended her small shpeel with a grin.

All of those options sounded enticing to Sadie — she had no idea the world of hypnosis was so vast. She couldn't pick her favorite, or put her finger on which one sounded the best.

"Surprise me," Sadie picked the best option to her.

Zara smiled again. "I was hoping you would say that."

~~

Zara led Sadie to another room in her spacious one-bedroom apartment. The room had the lights dimmed with a fireplace on the wall. Clocks of all sizes and shapes hung on the wall, including a gorgeous grandfather clock that Zara somehow fit in the small room. There were two comfortable, soft chairs — one white, one black, and each facing each other.

"You can sit here, in the black chair," Zara ushered Sadie into the chair, who sat down nervously. As Zara went to sit down in the white chair, Sadie crossed one ankle over the other, playing with the fabric of her long sweater.

"Let's start by finding a comfortable place to relax." Already, Sadie found herself doing what Zara was telling her to do, though honestly she would have sank into the chair comfortably either way.

"I want to start with telling you that any suggestions I may give you, you can cancel them out by saying the word, 'out' with the intent of coming out of your trance and finishing with any suggestions. Do you understand this?" Zara's voice too a serious tone as she spoke, notifying Sadie that this was important to know. Though, Sadie didn't pay much mind to this — she didn't feel she would have much of a need to cancel the suggestions.

"Y...yeah."

"Good," Zara's voice returned to its soft spoken, easy ambience. "I think I'm going to put you into trance — where you will be more suggestible — via the butterfly method. Can you give me your left hand?"

Without needing to ask for clarification, Sadie held out her left hand, and Zara took it with her right hand.

"Sink into my hand. Release all your weight onto me."

Sadie felt herself becoming lighter, already more relaxed, and more trusting of Zara to know what she was doing. She gave Zara her weight, and it felt like she was giving Zara her soul and energy, as well.

"Good," she whispered again. Zara lifted her other hand and held her fingers in front of Sadie's face and began to move each digit up and down; her hand glided from side to side in front of Sadie's eyes. "Just watch my hand. Focus on nothing else. You're going to feel very, very calm soon, as long as you keep giving me your weight and keep following my fingers."

"Already, you can feel your eyelids getting heavier—" Sadie did notice that as soon as Zara said it, "—and you can feel a warm, light blue mist sinking into your brain. Coming from my fingers and coating your sight with a misty blue haze. And as you look into this haze, you can feel your body losing its focus, you can feel your eyes focusing less and less on anything except for my fingers and your breathing."

Zara could probably see Sadie's eyes drooping; she could see her falling into trance. It was so easy, Sadie thought. So easy, and so relaxing. Just watching her fingers and feeling the mist fill her mind already made her anxieties lessen. It didn't matter. She felt calm, entranced, safe with Zara. Knowing Zara was going to only bring her good things, she felt herself letting go.

"I'm going to count down from five, and when I get to one, you're going to drop into a deep darkness — a place where all you can hear is my voice. And when I bring you back up, you're going to be ready to go to my party with me and my friends. You're going to be confident, and have a good time, and not worry what people think of you. Do you accept this?"

Sadie nodded.

"Very well."

Zara breathed in, and began to count, each number getting slower and slower.

"5..."

"4..."

"3..."

"2..."

"And 1."

And just like that, Sadie blacked out as soon as Zara hit one — falling deeper and deeper into trance.

~~

"...three, two, one, and you're awake." Zara snapped her fingers in front of Sadie's face, and just like that, Sadie's eyes jolted open. Their muscles were stiff, but they felt refreshed, as if they just came out of a nice nap. Sadie blinked a few times, trying to readjust herself from being in a thick darkness to being in Zara's room. This room must have been specifically for hypnotizing people — it was so relaxing to be in, and it was so easy to fall into trance there.

"How do you feel, Sadie?" Zara asked.

Sadie yawned, taking a moment to remember how to talk. "I feel... fine. Well rested, as weird as that sounds."

"It doesn't sound weird," Zara shook her head in a reassuring manner, letting Sadie know she wasn't going crazy. "That's a common effect of coming out of trance. You may feel dizzy for a while, disoriented even. But it should go away the more you readjust to the waking world."

Zara was smiling as she spoke. Sadie felt safe when Zara was smiling at her.

"So I'm... confident now?" Sadie asked.

"Well, I don't know," Zara shrugged. "Let's go to that party and find out, no?"

~~

For the first time in her life, Sadie felt comfortable wearing makeup. Zara walked her through every step and was more than happy to step in to do something for her if she was confused. She was nice enough, too, to let Sadie use some of her unused makeup samples; luckily she happened to have small foundation packs that matched Sadie's skin tone better, and some small unopened cases of eyeliner or lipstick.

Sadie looked into the mirror after her new routine. She was hoping she wouldn't like it as much as she did, because now she felt tempted to make it part of her morning routine — as if waking up at 9:30, fifteen minutes before class wasn't hard enough. But she loved how she looked. She looked confident. Cool.

Same with the clothes Zara lent her — luckily, they happened to be a similar size (though Zara's pants were a bit on the longer side for her). Zara always had good taste in clothes, whether she was going to parties, going to class, or just lounging around. Sadie's "lounging around" clothes were her clothes for everything.

Unfortunately, she did not have enough money to go out with a wardrobe change, but this was a fine enough start.

"Well, I suppose we're ready to go then?" Sadie noted with a dopey smile.

"Hold on, let me just text my friends I'm on my way." Zara stepped into the other room as she began to text something on her phone.

For some reason, it seemed like Zara was taking quite a while on her phone. Sadie was briefly worried that something had happened, or that she was saying things like "I'm bringing my lame friend with me, RIP me" (not that Zara would say RIP ironically.) Sadie checked her own phone, aghast at how much time had passed; considering they spent about 30 minutes doing makeup, she was in trance for over an hour.

Did it really take that much time for her anxieties to be turned to confidence?

Sadie's thoughts were interrupted when Zara came back, throwing on her jacket and ushering Sadie out the door. All thoughts of time or hypnosis escaped out of Sadie's brain as they headed to the party, the two excitedly talking about Sadie's new ability to make friends.

~~

A wave of uncertainty hit Sadie as soon as they got to the apartment where the party was being held. Luckily, Zara's presence was enough to reassure Sadie that things would be fine. The apartment was much larger than Zara's, though thankfully it wasn't much of a walk; it was only about a half mile trek or so. Already, Sadie could hear dance music coming through the walls, and the loud chatter of people.

"You ready?" Zara asked.

"Yeah," Sadie responded with a nod. Zara led her inside, opening the door to be greeted by a bunch of sorority girls (at least, that was the majority of the crowd.)

"Hey, it's Zara! Glad you made it!" one of them shouted, going over to the drink table to grab something for her. "You want some jungle juice?"

"Sure, what's in it today?" Zara asked.

"Oh, just... vodka, different vodka, Gatorade, blue raspberry Fanta, white wine, and coconut rum," the girl answered as if it was nothing, totally normal. Sadie already felt drunk just hearing the ingredients.

"Sounds good," Zara affirmed.

The girl turned her attention to Sadie with a wide grin. "And you brought a friend! You want some too?"

"I'm good," Sadie declined. "I think I'd like to be conscious today."

Sadie noticed something. Her usual course of embarrassment or nervousness that usually hit her didn't today — she felt perfectly comfortable talking to this random person whose name she didn't even know.

"Well, that makes sense, kudos to you," the girl laughed a bit, knowing how drunk the drink was probably making everyone. "What's your name?"

"My name's Sadie."

Sadie wouldn't have noticed it, but a different kind of wave washed over her as soon as she said her name. For a minute, if she focused hard enough, she could feel the light blue mist sinking its way back into her skull. She didn't feel unconfident, so to speak; rather, she felt dizzy and disoriented.

She brushed off the feeling quickly, not paying much mind to it. Maybe the whole hypnosis shpeel had its downsides, or side effects.

Sadie did notice one other thing — the woman standing in front of her had some nice curves, especially around her hips. She was on the chubbier side, but that didn't make her unattractive in the slightest. Her hair was flowing down her shoulders — red curls and all. For a minute, Sadie felt entranced by her beauty.

She shrugged that off as well. That was even more strange to her; she wasn't usually immediately attracted to people, especially not physically. So why couldn't she get the girl's body off of her mind?

"Hey, Sadie," the girl piped up, noticing her dozing off. Sadie jumped back to attention. "You go to Zara's college too, right?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm an honor student there."

"Oh cool! So I take it you're doing a thesis, then?"

"Yeah. I'm a history major, and my concentration is in American social history. My presentation is about the queer rights movement in the 20s to 60s," Sadie explained. Usually at this point, her speech would be tickled with "ums" and "wells", but she was speaking confidently. She knew what she was talking about, and was prepared.

"Oh, cool," she responded. "I did my thesis there too. It was on the chemistry of the frontal lobe of the brain. Was pretty intense, but I passed, so I suppose it worked out." The girl smiled as she spoke, and Sadie smiled back. This felt natural to them — it was the first time in a while Sadie had felt this comfortable talking to new people. Maybe the hypnosis really did work.

"Oh yeah, my name's Stefanie," she introduced herself as her and Sadie shook hands. "Hey, while you're here, let me introduce you to everyone else!" Stefanie called to her friends, a few other girls in the house party.