All Comments on 'The Azra-El Series Ch. 01'

This story has potential but please find someone to proofread for you. The amount of errors makes it hard to read. I know what it's like to struggle with editing. All that said your story has great potential and I'd love to read more.

Hopefully there's more to come.

You do need an editor but the chapter's will need to be longer as well.

Ok so first off great story. Needs more chapters because people love it when you have great detail. This is a one of a kind story and I'd love to see it succeed. I literally don't care about the errors you made as I could tell this was fun for you as it was fun for us the readers. I can see this in the hall of fame one day! Keep up the great work!

Loved it! I can’t wait for more chapters the storyline is actually really interesting which is hard to find in erotica.

I think you have to think really carefully about where you want to go with this, as it has the potential to become big. What is this strange world, and why is he there?

As others have said, there are spelling and grammatical issues, but I find it to still be readable. Looking forward to the demons and other angels.

Great story wish it was a bit longer and had a bit more action in it but other than that it’s great

Putting aside the whole angel aspect, these beings are born from eggs. Why then would they eat eggs? Wouldn’t it be, at least psychologically, repugnant to eat eggs? I don’t mean to be critical, it just seemed to me that it was such a hard thing to understand that I felt compelled to state it. I can understand vegetables and even meat, but t eating eggs knowing that is how you are born would be a no go for me.

He’s a typical teenage boy, an absolute arsehole, thinking with the little brain. Pervy little prick, even though they aren’t biologically related she’s adopted a familial relationship with him so that’s a bit too creepy for me. He should probably just hang out with the demons instead unless they’re all asexual too?

As a story an interesting concept but seriously an all female population and they are all asexual? That’s stretching the suspension of disbelief a bit too far. No female in the history of forever decided “I’m not going to explore my body, I don’t have any questions about myself”. Besides if they’re born with racial memories then they should know about different genders?

Given that it’s an alternate world/ reality etc I’m just going to ignore the basic biology (avians don’t have bellybuttons they have yolk sac scars that are virtually invisible after healing) aspects of not expelling waste. I thought your explanation was a clever idea but there is still a flaw. He’s going to fuck a lot, or at least he’s planning to, is he going to carry a pot of grease around with him? The ‘no expelling waste’ thing would equate to no natural lubricant. Seriously fucking ouch! That “ouch” is be before he gets his (presumably) magic cock anywhere near her.

Good catch on editing out the eating eggs that somebody else commented on.

Good luck with your writing.

Tess (UK)

Its hard to fathom, I know. I am myself a vegetarian by choice, so you can imagine my dilemma over eating animals in the first place... I initially considered making the angels completely vegetarian, but then I realized people like meat. And I am not usually the one to judge preferences.

Anyway, the main point is, the angel eggs are formed out of energy which first condenses into a feather and then ultimately detaches and shapes itself into an egg. It is not an embryo. So, I assumed they wouldn't consider animal eggs to be anything similar to their own. If you eat a chicken, why not its egg? Where does the meat come from?

However, I am sure there are plenty of angels who are vegetarian or non-eggetarian and so on... Azra-El is a diverse place.

Most of the flaws you point out are explored in the later chapters.

You just have to read that far. Blaze has his flaws, but I think you shouldn't be so quick to judge him. Blaze is quite sexual, but he never tries to hurt anyone on purpose - that's the opposite of the definition of an 'arsehole'. He maybe immature and pervy at time, but he is not an asshole - far from it.

When I first began writing this, it was just for fun, based on a wet dream. It was only after chapter 7 or so when I started taking this seriously. So, it takes time for me to develop the story.

However, since when is an all-female world out of ‘suspension of disbelief’ in a fantasy? Why they are so similar to human females when they don’t need males? That is something I plan to reveal at a later point.

"No female in the history of forever decided “I’m not going to explore my body, I don’t have any questions about myself”" - If you read far enough, you will realize this is not the case in my story. Without internet, some knowledge is not easily spread. There are females both among angels and demons, who have explored their bodies.

Basic Biology - Angels are not avian. Their wings are made of energy. Whatever the angels consumes gets turned into energy in their stomachs, thus they don't need to excrete. They do still throw up. I try to explore their biology in later chapters as well. I cannot build a world in one chapter, and I don't like info dumps. The angels do CUM- thus the title, and they use essential oils as well :) - don't worry there is no 'ouch'.

Ultimately, this is a fantasy - I try my best to give logical explanations and make a sensible world. But I am not Biologist - I do not have the ability to think up a genome for the angels. The physics part, however, 'I can science the shit out of that.' - when needed.

You sound like a female reader. I do hope you continue reading the novel and keep giving me suggestions, so I can represent your side as well.

You may need to exercise some patience with Blaze, though. I believe to make people truly love a character; you have to make them hate the character at some point - Blaze is no Prince Charming on a white horse.

Blaze will be a little selfish, immature, and pervy at times, but I hope to make him truly grow out of it.

Thank you for reading,

CapDragon121

PS: Incest: I am not a big fan of this, but to each to his own. I refrain from judging unless it is actively hurtful to others. My story will never have true incest in it.

1. Jie Er is not related to Blaze by blood.

2. To angels, sex does not have the same connotation as it does to humans. To them it might as well be a more intimate hug.

I do have a thing for milfs, just like how sugar daddies are to some women. It doesn’t have to mean you are into your mother or father. It has more to do with an older caring man/woman. It is your prerogative to not like it, but please try not to call it ‘creepy’, on a site where people are trying to be open towards sexuality.

Have a great day 😊.

I believe I was quite lucky to have started reading this story recently, as I got to read the edited version.

Congratulations on your fantastic story (I have already read until chapter 18.1 but decided to re-read it from the begging to recall some details). The story is quite captivating and I've been reading it eagerly!

I have so many questions, but I will ask them in the next chapters so not to spoil other readers.

Thank you for sharing this fantastic story.

Please keep up with the good work!

One of the best premise I ever read ,I am loving the mystery angle,the way you described the clothing and inner conflicts of protagonist is great looking forward to it.

Dig the premise, ought to be a very interesting story.

Re-reading this. One of the best i ever read here. Guys if you want more of this story after what's published here, visit the author's patreon. The author is currently giving the acess for free. Trust me you won't regret it.