When Being Bitchy Backfires

Part 1: Kelli Arrives At The Party

The party started at 8pm, but I don't arrive until half past ten. I wasn't sure I would even do this. I planned anyway on returning the very expensive black satin Dolce halter dress I'd bought for the party. This way my husband wouldn't see the $!000 charged to our card. But after putting it on while having a glass of wine, I loved how it felt and even more how I looked in it.

The low cut halter neckline was very revealing and provided a boost to my perfect cleavage that I realized I would have to be careful leaning over to sit down. With the dress as tight as it is, I can only take half steps. Not only does it make my heels sound twice as loud, but it causes my cleavage to bounce a bit to the rhythm of my steps.

But what really took the longest was doing my hair. It took forever to put up and then I didn't like it and had to settle for a more simple style. The important part was to be noticed. By you. The new "young turk" (as Clark calls you) at the office who has been making my husband look bad. 

And I cannot stand you for how you've tried flirting with me at recent parties. Always near the end of the evening when you've had a few drinks (and who knows what else). Your comments to others about me behind my back make others laugh and I've also overheard you comparing me to someone (I'm unaware it's Kianna Dior) that is your "favorite actress."

But enough is enough. Clark is away on business and I've leaned you're having a party in your lavish penthouse apartment. I'm going to give you a piece of my mind and put you in your place (at least that is my plan) in front of your guests.

I let myself into your penthouse apartment since no one answered the doo when i knocked. I walk through the foyer and into the main room,... and I have to admit I expected a messy "man cave" but this is impressive.

Part 2: Kelli Gets "Recognized"

I hesitate after a few steps into the large main room, pretending not to notice how many heads turn my way. Any worry I had that one of Clark's colleagues would be at the party and tell my husband about it disappeared when I saw the well dressed crowd are all in their mid 20's to early 30's. There also seems more young males than females, at least from what I see.

But I don't see you among the faces looking at me.

Glancing to the left, I notice three nice looking, clean cut guys sharing what looks like a cigar but smaller and from the smell, it's obviously pot. I'm a little surprised at how open they are about it and how the rest of the guests don't seem to mind.

They notice me looking their way, then begin whispering to each other while stealing glances at me. I can hear little snippets of their hushed conversation:

"...it totally is.."

"...looks just like..."

"...bet Josh has got her..."

When I hear your name mention, I say to them, "Excuse me, are you friends with Josh by chance?"

They all stare at me as if in shock I've spoken to them. One of them manages to ask me if I'm friends with you. I coyly reply, "Not exactly. Have you seen him. I've something to give our host."

"I bet you do," one of them says. This makes them all try not to giggle.

I cannot stand being laughed at and certainly not by these three. To keep my composure, I find myself reaching over and plucking the pot cigar from the fingers of the one holding it. This gets their attention, ending their juvenile chuckling.

Before I even know what I'm doing, I bring the pot cigar up to my valentine glossed lips and inhale the smoke while in elegant poise. I blow the smoke out right in their faces, making them cough.

One of them begins to ask between coughs, "Are you who we think you are?"

I give him back the pot cigar and give my highlighted hair a toss and after a breathless giggle, I look over my shoulder as I walk away and say, "Maybe."

Part 3: Kelli Makes Eye Contact

I walk a little further into the open floor plan living room. I notice how the heads of the young men in the room turn to look at me... as if they are trying to decide if they know me, but I continue to act as if I'm not aware of how I'm being stared at.

Suddenly I feel a bit light headed and the pot cigar puff i had is almost overwhelming. I have to pause mid step and blink my eyes to clear my vision. Just as my eyes clear while I'm poised to resume making y way through the nicely furnished living room....

... I see you across the room looking at me, You're expression seems have admiring and half confused, almost as if you may not be sure its me. We seem to be in a staring contest from across the room. So I keep my poise and give you one of my perfectly practiced bitchy pouts.

And before I can change my poise, your iPhone is up and aimed at me, the flash going off.

Part 4: Kelli and Her Perfectly Practiced Bitchy Pout

I put one hand on my hip and give you my perfectly practiced bitchy pout. Two gestures I always do when about to have to be bitchy to someone. I would feel after the half a dozen or so work and social events when you would wait until near the end of the evening - when you were inebriated, making you more arrogant - when you'd then flirt in a very suggestive way. That's when I had to tell you off, in front of the few remaining guests lingering about.

And I planned to do it again. How much more perfect for it to be in front of your social circle/guests who were all in their early to mid 20's. That's when I really realize I'm the only one in my age group at this party. Maybe this wasn't the best idea and just as I decide to turn around and calmly leave the party, I stop[ when I hear you voice behind me.

"Kelli, is that you?"

The way you ask it, obviously you know it's me with my back to you. Your taunting tone sounds like you're smiling so arrogantly... maybe it's the pot cigar i had taken a big puff from. I felt my original intention to tell you off begin to return, helping me keep my composure.

As I slowly turned around, I had so many snarky comments to say to you... but my mouth felt so dry so suddenly... and as I was completing my turn, over my shoulder I could see you had crossed the living room swiftly.

Just at the same time my mouth swiftly became dry. The only way I will be able to say to you what I want to say without embarrassing myself is if by some miracle out of thin air I would have in my hand a -

Part 5: Kelli Has A Seat

"Drink?" I hear you say.

When I turn around I see you standing close to me and you have two cocktail glasses in your hand, both glasses seem to be the same freshly poured drink. Maybe it's from smoking pot for the first time since college more than 20 years ago, but I feel lightheaded with the way you're standing so close and your smile is not a smirk or smug but charming and I see how handsome you are.

"Handsome," you say with amused surprise. "Coming from the most gorgeous woman here, I'll take that."

I blink. Had I just said that out loud? How much of my thoughts had I been speaking just then? To keep from feeling flustered, I try put some bitchiness to my tone when I reply, "Don't let it go to your head, mister."

"Too late, it's gone to them both," you chuckle.

"Wait... what?" I hate being laughed at. Especially by a male like you.

"Have a seat, sexy," you say with a smirk that makes me wonder if I really saw the true handsome you under the arrogance.

"Fine," I snip back at you. Being a bit bitchy helps bring back my composure, "I'll sit, but not because you called me 'sexy', Joshua."

"It's Josh," the smirk disappears from your smile and when I see a glimmer of an intensity in your eyes that I've never seen before, I look away and move to sit on the sofa behind me. As I do, I'm unaware of the view of my cleavage I provide you and other males in the room looking over at me as rumor has spread that I'm MILF porn star Kianna Dior.

Part 6: Kelli and the Cocktail

Sitting down on the sofa, I'm surprised at your ability to be a gentleman who waits for a lady to sit before he himself does. I'm not going to mention this out loud, but I do find it impressive and it makes me curious about the young man casually taking a seat across from me.

"What shall we drink to?' You ask.

"Well," I reply, keeping my tone slightly snobby, "what are we drinking?" It's certainly not a Cosmo, that I know.

"House special," is your mysterious response. You seem to pick up on my suspicion from the way I look at my glass then yours. The smirk on your face almost daring me to say something. So I do.

"I want yours," I say, my chin tilted defiantly. Without another word, I reach for your drink on the low table between us. You're amused by this, but confidentially take the glass you gave to me first. It makes me feel awkward at how I had thought you would take the opportunity to "spike" my drink. Maybe all of the impressions I've had about you have been wrong?

"To the best dressed surprise guest a host could want," you say quite charmingly while looking me in the eye.

We both raise our glasses and I hesitate just a second to see you drink first before I bring the rim to my lips for a sip.  

It's soooo delicious that I don't even realize how my sip turns into another and another. I'm not even aware of how I'm leaning slightly forward as I continue to sip while you have set your drink down and are smiling - not smirking - at how obvious it is I'm enjoying this drink.

(little do i know the reason for your smile: you did spike one of the drinks. but because you perhaps know me better than i'm aware of and you just knew i would be suspicious of you giving me a drink i'd hadn't asked for and how if you played it just right to make me suspicious, i would definitely ask to switch glasses and you were right. which is why you "spiked" your drink with Ecstasy)

"Like it?" You ask even though it's obvious.

"Mmmm hmmm," I reply as I continue to sip until the glass is more than half finished.

You put enough Ecstasy in the drink to have an effect from me just taking one sip, which you were sure I would do. You definitely didn't think I would enjoy the drink so much so that I would almost finish it... but you - nor myself - expected to smoke the very strong pot cigar.

You cannot keep the dirty smile from your face.

Part 7: Kelli Can't Believe It

After sipping most of my drink, I set the glass down and unaware of how I scoot a little more to the edge of the sofa cushion. Someone turned the music up just when you and I were sitting down. So I have to scoot closer and lean a little toward you to have a conversation.

"You have to tell me what's in it," I playfully insist.

"Wouldn't you like to know," is your arrogant reply.

Normally, I would just roll my eyes and ignore you... but i don't know.... your eyes have this... glint to them that i've never... it makes your arrogance.... charming. You're just so confident.

Just such a different you... I can't stop smiling at you...

"Would you like sex?" You say..

"Would I what..?" I try to sound bitchy but so completely over do it that it makes you laugh.

"Would you like a second?" You hold up our empty glasses.

I giggle, blushing at how ditzy I sound. "Yes, I want it."

The music goes silent as the song ends and just before the next one right at the moment I say it... I don't realize the looks I get...or how what I just said has most of your guests thinking it was sexual.... something Kianna Dior would say.

Part 8: Kelli Makes A Toast

"Cheers" you say when you return with our second drinks and have handed me a glass. As I lean towards you to clink our drinks, I'm unaware of how the halter neckline of my dress lifts my cleavage higher - you laugh at me and say, "It's your turn to make the toast."

I'm sipping my drink already and you're being silly and arrogant but different... so suave and smarmy and sexy...

You smile and say in a seductive tone, "Kelli confesses I'm sexy? I'll drink to that."

I blink as we're raising our glasses again... did I say that out loud? I was only thinking it to myself... did you read my mind? (i'm unaware i'm tipsier than i realize plus the pot i smoked is making me think these things and i can't stop looking at your smile and i feel a tingling feeling on my skin)

Part 9: Kelli After Her Third Cocktail

Most of your guests have left. Maybe hall a dozen or so linger about. I know we've been the center of attention since sitting down, but I've acted as if I didn't notice... which is why I don't notice the guests left lingering are all guys.

As we toast with our third drink, I've also been unaware of the real reason you've been getting me to make 2 or 3 toasts with each glass is because of how I've been scooting closer to the edge of where I'm sitting and haven't always remembered to use my fingertips of my other hand to hold the hem of my dress from moving higher up my thighs. Or that you've been making me lean toward you more so your guests left lingering around are noticing the view I'm giving you.

But the main reason I've been unaware of these things is because of how pleasantly warm and wonderful and tipsy I feel and for how you've been so funny and witty and charming but sneaking in little smart ass comments and laughing like some scoundrel when it goes over my head until I have to ask what is so funny while trying not to feel flustered by you.

After mentioning to you that I love David Bowie's music, you swore to have framed and hanging in your bedroom a rare vintage poster signed by him that was given to you as a gift from "a special friend with benefits." I feel it's just a trick to get me to walk down the hallway with you to your bedroom in front of the guests still lingering about. I insist you just take it down from the wall and bring it out here. You say it's "custom mounted" and I should know it's too valuable to even suggest such a thing.

"Last chance and the offer is off the table," you've been very arrogant using your business deal sayings with your smirk firmly in place.

"Josh, as a married woman and wife of one of your colleagues, I don't want to be seen walking with another man into his bedroom in front of others," I pout.

"Why would you care, Kelli, if they aren't colleagues or clients who you're obviously not going to run into probably ever again?" You've not glanced at my cleavage for the past 10 minutes straight since we've been bantering back and forth. Your intense gaze is mocking cocky taunting haunting smoldering and... i've never had another man stare at me like you...

"Josh..." I start to say, but you interrupt me by leaning closer to me for the first time and I forget what I was going to say.

"Final offer but only for a Bowie fan," your voice between a growl and whisper. "I'm going to get up and walk down the hall to my bedroom and go inside and leave the door open a tiny bit. After 5 minutes, you can choose the hallway or the front door. Of course for a true Bowie fan, it wouldn't be a choice. I wonder which one you really are."

I'm only half successful at keeping my bitchy pout from becoming a smile at your passionate and persuasive pitch. You stand, so confident and cocky while raising your glass. "When was the last time you were offered to be shown something we both know you want to put both hands on and see up close?"

I raise my almost empty glass and whisper, "You better be ready to show me."

Part 10: Josh

Josh was laying on his king size bed. He was ready and waiting to show Kelli something REALLY special. He was confident she was going to come into his bedroom. She was clearly beginning to feel the effects of the incredible Ecstasy he'd brought home from Las Vegas. Now, months later and many fantasies in which slipped some to the bossy, bitchy trophy wife of Clark Kenner, it seemed as if he'd willed fantasy into reality.

"Only wish Clark was here to see this," Josh chuckled to himself and the thought aroused him further.

That's when he heard Kelli's voice. Even from the living room Josh heard her say with surprise and offense, "What..?!"

Next was a mix of laughter and a male voice stammering an excuse of some sorts. Then the sound of liquid splashing sharply as if a drink was thrown in someone's face. Even more male laughter erupted.

"I don't find this funny!" Kelli snapped and the laughter subsided enough that Josh could hear her heels hurrying down the hallway toward his bedroom. He remained calm and laying facing the door, hands resting behind his head.

The bedroom door burst open and in marched Kelli, her tight floor length black satin halter dress making her take tiny steps, diminishing the dramatic intent of her entrance. Sensing this, she stopped and reached behind her to swing the door shut with a SLAM.

Kelli was in the biggest bitchy mood Josh had ever seen her in. She clearly was so ready to give it to Josh that when both hands went to her hips, she was unaware of how it caused the delicate halter neckline to boost her cleavage higher. Josh also noticed how clueless Kelli was that the hem of her floor length dress was caught in the door frame and the now shut door.

Her bossy, bitchy behavior just made Josh more aroused....

....especially since Kelli was so busy being a bossy blonde bitch....

.... she still hadn't noticed Josh's slacks were undone and his long, hard erection was growing even more.

"Who is Kianna Dior and why do your guests out there think I'm her!" Kelli snapped at Josh.

Part 11: Kelli Loses Composure

I am beyond upset at how one of your male guests just moments ago told me he "loved" my "movies." And when I played along as if I was the actress he was obviously mistaken me for - i'm expecting it to be Sofia Vergara since she's the celebrity I was getting more and more comparisons to since adding more highlights to my hair - and I asked the young man what were his favorite movies of "mine".

I was not expecting the young man to reply so quickly with: "My Friend's Hot Asian Mom" and "Soccer Mom Lost In Locker Room Part 2" and "Kianna Dior: Blonde Asian Trophy Wife." I was still trying to process it while tying to keep my composure while the other half dozen or so young men were laughing at the expression of surprise on my face.

When "my fan" asked if I needed "a guest star" for my next "Soccer Mom Lost In Locker Room" movie, I tossed my drink in his face. Your friends laughed even louder, one of them even saying, "Just like she did in 'Kianna Dior: Dive Bar Bitch Gets In A Gang'!" (or something about a gang)

And now I'm in your bedroom and bitchily demand "Who is Kianna Dior and why do your guests out there think I'm her!"  

"My all-time favorite hot blonde Asian MILF porn star that every one of your husband's colleagues - including me - all think you look and dress so exactly alike you could be twins," you calmly reply.

The combination of your confident reply and the way your eyes stare into mine... the room seems warm suddenly... i feel dizzy tipsy ditzy... i take my hands off my hips and the room just seems to be... like a sauna... your words about Clark's colleagues all think I look and dress like this Kianna Dior...

"C"mon, Kelly," I hear you say as I look away, my vision blurry as I feel dizzier... tipsier... "we all know you dress like Kianna to get us up. Well you got me up, Kianna. Take a look."

"My name is not Kian...na.." I feel my composure begin to return with each word I hiss, my blurry vision focusing sharply as I turn my head to look at....

... your incredibly long hard.... omigod!

Part 12: Josh's Scoundrel Spell

Josh grinned as he watched the bitchy blonde trophy wife's eyes widened at the sight of his manhood and her mouth remain half open even as her voice went from bitchy to breathlessness, making her even SOUND like Kianna Dior at her bimbo best.

It was as if the sight of his hard, strong erection transformed Kelly into Kianna Dior before his very eyes... in his very bedroom... a fantasy willed into reality.