by Kay Derwydd
i've really adored this story. i mean, elves and vampires at the same time? what's there not to like? thank you.
i was a little (very little, mind you) disappointed in the fact that you didn't explore jordan's character as much as you did dorian's. even being a secularized, so to speak, elf, he should have some old elven habits that die hard. also i feel he should have a bit more of a past, considering how old you tell us he is. another thing is that, even though you say that elves are not a common sight even though they're becoming integrated, neither the twins or joseph or anyone else reacts to the fact that he's an elf. i sure would. other than that, as i said, i love it. i'm hoping for a sequel?
I loved your story telling. It was wonderful. I didn't expect it to end this way, but I know it had to end sometime. Fantastic job.... I loved how Dorian and Jordan interacted with each other.
well done thats brillinet i cant bbelive that they both found each other keep up the writing ur talent is good and clver keep it up.
Sheesh, don'tchya hate it when ppl read the last chapter before the rest... hehehe... Hell, I'm like Stephen King, I write the last chapter before the rest sometimes, or sometimes it comes to me in the middle of the book...Anyways... Loved it, now gotta read the rest...
I loved the story, loved the characters...although it does seem to end pretty easily...I would have expected more pb than just kindnapping and quick rescue...also: would LOVE a sequel to that with maybe a little more of Jordan's world.
I enjoyed this story a great deal. I have to admit to a weakness for elves and vampires, particularly elves. I think you did wonderful job developing the characters, adding humorous moments and balancing it with the conflict and resolution. I hope to read more such as this from you.
I loved all of this. But I had hoped you'd write a chapter about how lorix got attached to Dorian. But it was awesome!
But I'm pretty dissappointed. What happened with Carl? And what will happen to Josef? You've done a great job explaining vampires, but what about elves? You rushed the story (which is understandable because you need to throw in a lot of sex to satisfy the masses), but you need to explain more about the characters themselves. If you focus a little more on the plot, it will seem like a true story as opposed to a sci-fi porn where the plot is horribly irrelevant--somehow I don't think that's what you were aiming for.
Good writing, otherwise! Just develop the story a little more!
I've read your story about five times and I love it every time. Are you going to write a sequel? What happens to Carl and Josef? Did Carl lead Victor to Dorian? So many questions left unanswered.
OKAY ! YOU GOT ME HOOKED ! WHEN IS THE NEXT CHAPTER ? I HOPE YOU KNOW THIS IS TOO GOOD NOT TO BE A SERIES DON'T YOU ? SO MOOOOORE !!!!!!!!!! PLEEEEEEEEEEASE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW !!!!!! HOP TO IT !!!!! START WRITING !!!!!! ARE YOU DONE YET !!!! HUH !! HUH !!! HUH !!!
I read straight through. Consider publishing this on amazon. Well written and edited - no spelling errors or reliance on poor spellchecked word choices.