All Comments on 'When I Look Back'

of cheating, infidelity or whatever name you want to give it.

Seems to me a lot of people are defining the situation according to their own needs.

"Let's use a definition of a wrongdoing which reduces the severity of, or completely negates our own transgressions. Then we haven't done something wrong."

Why else are we getting such watered down definitions of a cut and dried situation?

Several comments seem to focus on whether she really loves him or not. "If I loved him as much etc.."

On its own this would appear to question her feelings for her husband. However read in conjunction with her statement two or three paragraphs earlier it seems to me to say exactly what the author intended. She was questioning her reasoning for her actions rather than her love for her husband.

Yes Kanga you are right these were definite, planned and followed through actions not just thoughts. Now here is the rub as I see it. Each individual will have their own understanding as to whether this is cheating or not. They will also decide on the degree of severity of this cheating if indeed it is cheating. It all depends on ones interpretation of that single word.

If a person goes into a shop with the intention of stealing something. Plans it, prepares for it and puts themself in a position of achieving that aim. Then doesn't go through with it, are they a guilty of robbery. Obviously not but their actions would affect how people trusted them in the future if they knew about it. They are a potential thief who may or may not offend later.

My thoughts are that she is teetering on the brink. Her actions in future will deterine if she is the cheating slut some people think see is or a confused and lonely person seeking excitement in the wrong way.

There is no doubt that what she did was wrong and if hubby found out he has every right to be royaly pissed at her and the guy.

Personally I enjoyed the story.

What did you do to get an acknowledgement that you had a valid criticism when the rest of us (particularly me) get only argument and rationalisation for the original words?

Please email your secret to me...

I would just love an author to agree with me... LMAO

I appreciate your response and talent. I must say that I thought you knew what you wanted to say because what came out was contrary to your values expressed here. Needless to say I am pleased that you are who and what I knew you to be. Talented, contemplative, sensitive, articulate and human.

Your style and theme causes - no provokes thought - thoughts of reality and life - and that all actions have ripples, especially unconsidered self serving actions - uncontemplated waves that seek and find and affect self and others beyond first blush if considered at all - while in the moment. You illustrate that life is shaped in part by mistakes - ours and others - and most of all that there are always consequences - little and big - good and bad - that we cannot control. Just dealt with as best we can - as cicumstances and conscious dictate.

So, not even a foul ball in consequence as unlike life you can be god and revise it if you wish. I favor instead a note at stories end to say what you wish but thats up to you.

I hope you keep this in perspective, continue to grow and write 100 more slices of life and consequence. I hope you continue to affect other authors - new and experianced - with your entertaining realities.

Appreciatively with Regard

The comment by Convinced points out one of the things I have long said, that the author knows the intention, but the reader knows the effect.

The line, "That was a major accomplishment and, if I love him as much as I believe, should be a source of great joy to me," was intentional. I used the conditional by design, but not the design picked up by Convinced. I tried to put myself in her place and the use of the conditional is her criticism of herself. "If I love him as much as I believe," was intended to be, "How could you possibly do this to him? You believe you love him and then you do this." In my reading of her mind it was an expression of shock, dismay and remorse, an accusation against herself, not an expression of doubt at the depth of her feelings.

It gives me one more thing to think about when I write the next characters. How could what my characters say be misinterpreted (meaning differently than I intended, not wrong)? Writing is hard.

what people find in a story.

Convinced, a couple of comments below has pointed out more ideas that I had not considered when reading the story.

S/he is right in these observations.

Thanks for showing me more interesting points.

I was thinking Bobbie was a sensible thoughtful woman on my first read.

Unfortunately for Bobbie, I read it again.

How many of the comentators here have read the story through six or more times?

It provides an interesting exercise to read it again after reading the comments to see what makes sense.

and the comment by bullet.

I can see no similarity between the situation bullet describes and the one Bobbie faces in the story.

Bullet does not say he decided he wanted to screw the girl the second time he met her. She propositioned him, he didn't propositon her.

His answer was a quick and certain "NO". Bullet did the right thing after considering his options.

I see no planning to do IT shown by him. No phone call to his wife so she would not call while he was deflowering the girl.

So can someone explain how this relates to the story or to other posts here about infidelity.

To your question - did you author convince me that she was sincere or not? The first read response was no. The closer second read revealed this.

During the quiet ponderous moment, she clinically examined 1st her career, then her marriage, then her children and extended family. Your sequence was interesting and revealing intended or not.

Your her unequivicable conclusion was mid-life crisis. From that she derived satisfaction that it was an avoidable moment if she but counted her blessings. This seemed conclusive until I went back again and read in the same closing paragraph the concerns in a somewhat different sequence.

Work, children and "lastly" husband were noted in turn and a several very meaningful key words showed up. "If" and "Should" didn't mesh with the new supposed decision of fidelity, marital comfort and commitment. "My husband is happy and devoted to me. That was a major accomplishment, and [if] I love him as much as I believe, [should] be a source of great joy to me." Clinical as intended I believe.

Had it but read "My husband and I love and are devoted to each other. That love and devotion is the greatest joy we each could have" their future marriage stability would have been more secure.

Conclusions: Work is more important and not to be jepordized, husband is devoted but she isn't, family feelings are couched in business terms, boredom and excitement will likely follow each other in due time.

Interestingly that my conclusion is the same for each reading. Also interesting are the readers differing viewpoints of her conclusions and future contemplations. No one took note of the absense of what changes she would make to make her life more exciting and less boring within her marriage.

Alcohol lowers inhibitions and raises courage. Excitement, new challenges and memories usually follow if desired to combat complacency of those things taken for granted.

Right Author - Nice work with more hoped for - Best Regards

I'll make a confession about myself. Years ago there was a young girl working for a company I was dealing with. She was a terminally cute, bouncy little twenty-year old virgin; the kind of girl you want to wrap in your arms and protect from the evils of the world. We were friends, nothing more, but I certainly was well aware of this girl's allure. To my shock, this lovely young thing came to me one day and sweetly asked if I would take her virginity.

What a quandry! How many times does an opportunity like that come along? We would sit in my car after work and talk about anything, getting to know each other, just being friendly. When we parted, I would give her a chaste peck on the cheek, nothing more. But the deflowering offer was already on the table. That's what we were working towards.

But my second marriage was in trouble. Wifey #2 and I were having difficulty communicating. There was anger. The sex sucked. But before I made the final step to being unfaithful, I had an epiphany of sorts. I had to choose for or against my marriage. I chose 'for'.

I gently let the little girl know that I was not her guy. I paid more attention to my wife. Twenty-five years later I think this 2nd marriage may in fact work.

By Kanga's standards, I was unfaithful. Over the years as I look back at that lost opportunity to deflower the sweet young thing, I still consider it one of the defining moments of our marriage. For a short while I was unfaithful in my heart.

But I kept my dick in my pants. And I guaran-damn-tee you that my wife does not consider what I did being unfaithful. I know cause I asked her.

Well, hell. It never hurts to let your other half know that you are still attractive to the opposite sex.

Where have I been? Foolish me. I thought characters in a story were actually part of the story. Wow! The things you learn! And 'Cottage,' screenwriters are not exempt from crticism. I hear that some even get academy awards for their efforts, while others have actually been roasted by movie critics. Guess they could learn something here.

Again, RPS, I LOVED the story. But I have a difficult time extolling the virtues of a character, a wife, who is hell bent on commiting adultery until she finds out her intended partner has the IQ of the mean temperature in Alaska on Christmas Day. Apparently her conversation with her husband, the sound of his voice, his concern for her well-being not only did not dissuade her from her intended indiscretion, but actually caused her to feel "delightfully wicked." She was all set to do the "horizontal mambo." It wasn't until 'Don' volunteered that he had contracted "Gentile Herpes" that our heroine saw the light.

I suppose that one could surmise that "all's well that ends well." And our girl did have an epiphany. She finally realized all that she risked far outweighed the 'rewards' that this laison would provide. But I, as 'Kanga,' give little credit to her for having come to her senses. It would be more correct to give credit to 'Don's' being "non compos mentis" than to anything she did to stay the daliance.

RPS, your portrayal of 'Don' was superb!

Take the time to read the first six comments before mine.

They praised her character, I merely put a different point of view.

I did not take issue with her morals, merely her actions and what they demonstrated about her fidelity.

And, if you had bothered to read all of my posts I wrote somewhere that I think it is a great story

What is "Sunday School"?

And do you never leave a movie and discuss it afterwards?

Or read a book and discuss it with others?

You are missing some pleasant experiences.

You're the one who can't tell the difference between a story and its characters. You're criticizing the character's morality, not the plot development or the author's use of language or literary devices. Do you come home from the movies all steamed up at the scriptwriter because the heroine almost cheated on her husband? It's a creative work of fiction, intended to be read at Literotica, not in Sunday School, and the characters are allowed to be less than perfect.

Give me a break.

Okay, she thought about having an affair - thinking.

She thought it may be good to screw Donny boy - thinking.

She dances with Donny and rubs against his erection - still thinking? I believe not - this is a considered ACTION, you know, doing something, performing an action - how else can I put it to differentiate 'thought' and 'action'?

She asks Don to her room - thinking? NO, action

She phones her husband and refers to her intended and well in train infidelity - thinking? NO, action.

Opens the door and lets Don in- thinking? NO - action

"He put his arms around me and pulled me in for a steamy, lengthy kiss. It sizzled. This was it. This was the kind of excitement I had been looking for." - thinking? You tell me this time, huh?

How can anyone say "she thought about cheating, but didn't act on it" ?

She thought about it, acted very definitely and deliberatley on it - she planned it for christ's sake! Then she didn't cheat in the end because he was an idiot with an STD.

Now, for you 'court of law' crowd, let's change the scenario. Bobbie plans a murder, organises the gun, phones someone to establish an alabi, then just as she is about to pull the trigger a bus gets between her and her victim. A policeman sees her and arrests her. No foul no penalty just because she didn't actually kill the guy? Can she argue that she did nothing wrong because th eguy is still alive? Not bloody likely.

And nightowl, if she was your wife, how happy would you be if you heard about the episode in all its detail?

Thrilled that she was a faithful wife? I think not.

Then we get the 'court of law' advocates who want to point out legal technicalities about infidelity, which is a complete furphy.

As my father told me many years ago, the 'legal' system has no connection whatever with justice, truth or morality.

Wedding vows feely exchanged between two people have nothing to do with laws or pieces of paper. It is a personal commitment.(Don't all run and hide, please...)

Those who do think marriage is about contracts or law are missing the most wonderful thing they could possibly experience.

I dont know why it posted my comment as anonymous. I wasnt trying to duck any punches if someone wants to tell me that im totally out to lunch in my take on the story. :)

NEARLY acted on it.

THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.

If she were my wife I would say One HELL of a difference!

She didnt cheat & close doesnt count so you cant really condemn her for almost.

On the other hand, she isnt really a very sympathetic character. Kanga etc. also make a good point about the guy being such an idiot. It does kinda make her choice less admirable. I suppose she wouldnt have been in the situation she was in if she was perfect though.

I think its a good story about a real person who made a choice & considered the consequences before it was too late. It wasnt a lovey dovey, everything is perfect, storybook romance She wasnt perfect but she came to her senses before she made a choice she would regret.

It was also pretty funny.

As to whether she will cheat in the future - who knows? She could go for it the next time the opportunity presents itself and the guy isnt an idiot. She could also take what's happened as a wake up call & not let herself get so close again. Both are reasonable. She isnt perfect & even her reasoning for not cheating seem a little self centered & shallow. She doesnt really seem like she woke up & realized she loves her husband & could work to have more excitement at home instead of chasing smoke (see above - not a idyllic romance type story). It could also be said that, since was faithful for many years, her close call could be all the reminder she needs to avoid temptation in the future.

I guess we wont know unless there is a sequel :)

No indeed Troubador.

I hope I am the friend you mentioned. You guys are definitely not going to get me to comment against any of your ideas. I enjoyed the story for just what it was, a great tribute to a wife and mother that changed her mind about a serious thing she was about to do.

I always like to "what if".

You will admit however that if the conditions were more in a positive light for "studley", that she might have been more condusive to adultry.

She even had it planned out by calling her husband so he wouldn't call and disturb her later at a time when it would have bothered her.

So many little things here that contributed to her changing her mind at the last minute. I like this idea too. Her husband showed so much kindness, understanding that she was tired and possibly not feeling well. True feelings of concern that signify love.

I really think this was well done the humor added a really good story add on that I liked.

rpsuch, to be a one page story, you did an outstanding job even if "Studley" didn't even get to play "stinky finger".

Gary

The wife was weak and was almost lost. She did manage to remain faithful to her vows and gained from the experience. It seems she was human. That is what this story centers on; the fraility of the human condition and the constant struggle between right and wrong that we all face. She was wrong to even consider an affair, but she was very human to wonder if she would regret her fidelity in her senior years. We regret that which we did not try to accomplish far more than the things we attempted and failed. That is human. She weakened, but regained her vision in time. That is admirable. It is difficult to believe that most people in a long term relationship don't wonder about how things would be with a different partner. That is the human part. If he had been a smooth talker, she might have found something else to dislike. We don't know. It wasn't covered in the story. I came away thinking that few, if any, men would compare favorably with her hubby and she realized that fact. This was an excellent story!

An author knows exactly what (s)he intends. So, for things you guys debate, I knew "the answer". But we don't always accomplish what we intended and the proof of success is in the reader. So, I would like to know whether Bobbie, as read by you, has had a true epiphany, has recognized that she had what she thought was missing. Or has she just dodged a bullet for the moment and she will eventually wind up going down that path. I'm not looking for what you guess she might do, but have I convinced you that she is sincere or that she is not?

How great to have a forum in which you can ask your readers such quesitons. Thanks.

Boy, you guys are getting tougher all of the time. Now you are saying that some short term intent is enough to find a woman guilty of infidelity even though she never did the deed. Sorry, but that wouldn't stand up in court on "Law And Order". It would probably be thrown out during the indictment stage.

In my newest story (called "What is and What will Never be" that's been floating around Literotica for 10 days without being posted yet), my protagonist says:

"He may be only guilty of adultery in his heart, and that didn't keep Jimmy Carter from getting elected. The ten commandments might not like it, but is it grounds for divorce?"

The woman in "When I Look Back" slipped a bit in her mind. But when it came right down to it, she didn't do the deed. There's no denying it! Regardless of reason, when it came to be crunch time, she backed out. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Absolutely not!

But this woman did more than think, she acted.

I may be losing my grip on reality, bu I am certain I can tell the difference between a thought and an action.

Bobbie acted! AND she did far worse than that. She was so certain she was going to do it she even phoned her husband and callously referred to the impending act while talking to him.

Come on - THINKING!

What sort of a cold hearted bitch would do that? A loving faithful wife? Not bloody likely!

At that stage she was hell bent on her course of action, irrespective of the possible side effects on her husband and her marriage.

She was so hot to trot that she was risking her job by taking sexual favours from a junior employee.

The author showed no other reasons for her rejection of Don but that of his arrant stupidity.

Then she thinks it over afterwards and decides to col it for the time being. So what? What about in another six months when the pressure at work return?

She has already decided she will not cut back on work to save her marriage.

If this was a man neglecting his family and marriage for his work you would all be condemning him for being so stupid, but it's a woman so it's okay?

And why can't you other critics see the difference between the story and the characters?

I think it is a GREAT story, well written.

I just don't like the central character.

There is a difference, figure it out!

This is a usual RPSuch story. Well crafted and presented. It's effect on readers is shown in the varied responses. From 'She's an angel" to "Such a slut".

I'm afraid I have to fall in the "Slut" camp. If she were to tell her husband EVERYTHING that happened that night, I wonder how he would feel? The phone call was not the breaking point. The intended cheating that she had made up her mind to do, was the moment she became an unfaithful wife.

I must agree with the Troubador and not Kanga 40 on this. Yes, the phone call shows that the wife is prepared to cheat, that she has been convincing herself that she needs to and is setting it up. But at the same time, until she actually goes through with it she, like any other person in the same boat, can change her mind. It's easy to argue that if the would be lover was smoother that she would have gone ahead, but its just as easy to argue that she still would have had her second thoughts, for whatever reason and sent him away.

That's part of the beauty of life, we can change our mind, and nothing should be totally predictable.

This was a well done story, with a plausible ending. Don't base your view of it on the pre-planning of her phone call, she made it, but still had time to change her mind, or the smoothness of the would be lover, he was the one there, maybe it helped her decision, maybe it was made because she had reached the point of put out or get out, and realized then, that the answer was to get out.

Great job, keep up the good work

While the final outcome *is* important, it is not the only criterion. Intent is also significant; otherwise, there would not be a distinction between murder and manslaughter, and attempted murder would not be a crime. In this story, it was a lucky accident (Don was an idiot) that led to the wife's misgivings. As written, I do not believe that she would have had those misgivings had the prospective partner been more suitable. Put in another way, I think that had the husband known of her intents and actual deeds, he would have been almost as hurt by her actions as he would have if she had actually gone through with it. Thus, I'm more in agreement with Kanga40 on this issue.

but I ended up admiring the wife. Unless we are saints, and many of those beings have occasional brain blips also, we all slip into times when the grass looks greener. If we don't fall into the trap does it matter if it was at the last minute or on first getting the urge?

I respectfully believe it is the final outcome that is important. Would she have fallen into the trap of her setting if the "partner" had been more intelligent? Maybe. But I prefer to think the doubts would have surfaced and she would have probably resisted even a smooth seducer.

If we are judging and convicting on might have beens, we are ALL guilty. I thought this was a wonderful story of a woman who had been so successful she could easily proceed in any direction she wished. She was sorely tempted, but realized the harm before it was concluded.

Another well thought out and written look at human nature. I will say I missed the sex scene I was expecting. And I usually find such very boring. Not from RPSuch, however, even in that over done area he usually finds something to keep the attention.

This is rare on this site! Also real! Loved it! Now this is a loving wife that knows what love is and has thought and a conscience not to destroy all she has and destroy any future

that she will have. Any man would be proud to have her as a wife. Thanks for the read!

Why are you criticizing the actions of a fictional character? SHE'S NOT REAL! This is not a true story!

Loved the story as a wonderful depiction of a wife's trip to the edge of adultery. OF COURSE she phoned her husband early to forestall an incoming call at an awkward moment...she was contemplating fucking a stranger in the immediate future! That she ultimately backed off, for the reasons the author created (potential lover was unaware of his malapropisms, and was a risk to pass on an STD), is interesting and entirely believable, as are her recriminations and renewed fidelity to her marriage vows.

However, the story failed the hardon test.

Rye and Ginger

How many times have each of us wandered down a wrong path only to realize our mistake to late. This does not only apply to sexual situations. Then there are the times when we realize that we are on the wrong path in time to make a course correction. These are the times that we achieve true growth in our lives. RP's story was about a woman who was lucky enough to find herself on the wrong path in time to make a correction. Had Don been the charmer she had originally thought he was things probably would have turned out differently and she would have realized her mistake too late. Thanks RP for a nice read.

KK

RSP: Really liked your story, but I gotta go along with 'Kanga.' The phone call was over-the-top for your "heroine." Why was it really necessary? Or did she simply use it as seasoning for her intended infidelity?

Who said she was a good woman untill she uttered a whimsical phrase? Not me, so why quote it in your reply to me?

She was not a 'fine upstanding wife when she decided to cheat' - she had already decided her marriage was not giving her what she wanted. But she did not even hint at her worry to her husband, who she freely describes thus: "There is no one I would rather talk to about practically any topic from politics to the economy to morality to evolution. As much as I have come to know him, he still surprises me by being able to rethink his positions and come up with new solutions to difficult issues."

So, this is a difficult issue, why not give him the opportunity to find a solution?

She was wrong when she asked Don to her room. This could have been a rash decision without really considering the outcome fully.

But to phone her husband, even without any reference to her intended cheating, while waiting for her 'lover' to arrive shows a definite consideration and rejection of her vows and her husband.

I find it hard to believe you cannot see this point, but having decided to put it in the story you are must justify it.

And, are you inferring her rejection of her marriage vows and her reference to it in the phone call is less hienous merely because her husband is unaware of her actions? I know you don't believe that, so why say it? I am talking about her, her actions and her motivation. Not his knowledge or not of the affair.

She was pretty bad when she asked Don to her room, but definitely would have been more 'heroic' had she not made any phone call at all and still rejected the jerk.

The phone call and her reference to her intended cheating compounded her sin logarithmically.

If she is merely 'excited by the risk and wrongfulness' then why phone her husband and figuratively rub his nose in it?

I cannot imagine how cold blooded a woman would need to be to deliberately phone her husband under those circumstances. What woman who supposedly has any feelings for a her husband could go to her room and say to herself, "Don is on his way up to fuck me behind my husband's back. Oh shit Garrett! I better ring him so he doesn't disturb my fucking by phoning in the middle of it."??

Come on!

Only a most detestable woman.

This wife was reasonable in thinking the way she did, many women who have tasted that forbidden fruit falls in love with it and wants to sneak around and continue.

I'm baffled. She was a fine, upstanding wife when she decided to cheat and acted in furtherance of her plan. But, she became unredeemable when she used a double entendre that her husband couldn't possibly understand in a phone call. She is excited by the risk and the wrongfulness of what she plans, but she's a good woman until she utters a whimsical phrase? I don't get that.

You have outdone yourself.

Very nice story. It is good to find a story about people when are actually conscious during a potential cheating affair.

Thanks

beetle

But it has the fatal flaw Mr kanga40 points out.

With no phone call she is basically a good woman.

With the call as the story is written she is a useless slut.

What man would want her for his wife?

Just because he does not know she is out looking for someone else to screw does not make her any less shameful a character.

The writer tries to make us accept her cheating ways with a bit of sugar coating near the end.

She decided her fate when she made the call.

A woman who has the ability to to evaluate and understand that the consequences would outweigh the pleasure and a little humor thrown in. Not bad.

How much different is she from any woman who actually did cheat?

She thinks so little of her husband and her vows to him that she cold bloodedly phones him and refers to the sex she is about to have. No respect, no fidelity, no love.

Then suddenly she is an angel because she didn't fuck the guy?

Save me. The only reason she didn't screw him is because he is an idiot. Nothing at all to do with loving her husband, or being faithful to her vows. Put off by his stupidity, that's all.

Then she rationalises the whole thing... for the moment.

Next time when the guy isn't an idiot she will have her knees behind her elbows welcoming him inside.

rpsuch, usually you give your characters some redeeming qualities. This time you chose not to, and spoiled what could have been a really good story.

All you had to do was leave out the phone call.

A wife that thinks with a brain instead of a pussy with long hair.

I wonder though what would have happened if she had gotten one of the other guys there that could carry on a decent and intelligent converstion that didn't have V.D.

Would she have seen the futility of her predicament then or fucked the shit out of him and hid it from her family? Stay tuned?

This was a very humorous, enjoyable story. It can't be easy to come up with so many malapropisms, unless you're Archie Bunker. Why do so many risk so much for so little? Midlife crisis? Call it what you will, but it happens. Nice to read about a woman that realizes in time all she has, and can lose, and keeps it! Thanks for the great read!

At last a true loving wife story, she thought things out andand didn't like where it was heading. Wow she cared for her husband and family... something very rare around here

good stuff, just wish there had been wild sex with the hubby at the end.

hee hee

gentile herpes, a disease for non-jews!

STP, a sex lubricant?

Very nice companion to your "MidLife Crisis". I have enjoyed both.

A story about a spouse (of either gender) who thinks about the consequences before indulging themselves. Precious few of those around.

Nice one, rpsuch.