All Comments on 'When is a Niece not a Niece?'

I liked this story. Slightly different plot well written. Now that you have gotten your feet wet can we look forward to more?

Too pat

After he meets "Eloise" II and he talks to Arthur about Charles' incompetence it is clear where the story is going. It's a smooth glide to the finish and kind of fun although I have my doubts if the character of this Eloise has the loyalty and staying power needed to make this marriage a go for the long term. Still worth a 4* just for fun.

Good story, easy to follow

Love this story! Could Uncle Bob and Elouise have more descriptive details? How about the mature Uncle Bob have a bit of chest hair splayed across his muscular chest? A big cock and hairy thighs, abs, and pubes? Something to excite Elouise!

Great short story.

Great story but the ending seemed kind of rushed.

Good outline for a great story. This would have been a great story if it had been much longer. Two paragraphs into the story I thought this is going to be a nice morning read. I was dismayed when I scrolled down and saw it was only two pages. You are an outstanding writer and I hope to see more of your writings!

Good two page story even tho there's allot more story to be told. I'm hoping you continue Eloise, and Bobs story. Did Eloise keep some of her girl loves, and share them with Bob? I'm hoping she didn't make Bob a Cockold, because he would have killed her male lovers. What were their adventures with all that money? Please continue this interesting story.

The RAF calls it's C-130s (note the hyphen...if you are going to use a technical name, get It right) Hercules.

"C-130" is the American military designation...though that name is used by many other countries.

Just had to get that off my chest. :)

You could rework it and leave the end open to make it a series. End seemed a bit rushed indeed.

Great little story with good character development and a flow to the conclusion. My money was on Arthur making him a senior in the company, rather than dying, but the end was the same I suppose. Arthur’s character was perhaps the most interesting, so it was a shame he left! Good readability and grammatically up with the best. Nice detail on the army life, though I leave it to those who know to comment on realism. Thanks

Nicely done and good pacing, Hope to see more from this author.

Loved the story. Hope you have more of them to come.

Imma be honest i skiped through a lot. I still read enough I think of the setting up to say the following about the story as a whole:

That was incredible! I'd say that's art! Very immersive through and through. i never questioned anything besides sharing my opinion about the actions of the characters. The dynamic between each of them is marvelous! Your writing is very very convincing and subtle to create personalities and history with only a few sentences! Very good!

Raunchy little tale once it got going... Petronilla... Intriguing... I wonder what happened there... ;)

Very good,

A very good and well written story. A slice of life for all in the story, so the ending is not rushed or abrupt, it just the end to that part of their lives.

Thank you and keep on writing.

A Kachina Doll in England?

Brilliant.

Guess Arthur was fucking Eloise too :)

Fun story and well written, though the length and the abrupt ending combined with it being more predictable than I’d have preferred was a little disappointing. A longer, more in-depth version with some conflict could have improve it but as it was, I rated it a 4.5 and rounded up.

Jam-packed with great details and story development!

What else have you writ?

I'm off to explore you!

This was an excellent story and was both well-written and well-constructed. The participants acted in character, and most importantly, for me, the story was credible. Many stories on this site are simply too fantastic. This story deserves an H and has been underscored. Many excellent well-written stories don't score that well whilst poorly or completely unresearched, unrealistic, incestuous, fantasies written in appalling English score strings of 5s with not a 4 (or below) in sight. ... 5*

Another great story.... but again a very sudden ending! I would have liked to read more about these characters.....

Very nice story! I echo other commenters on wanting to read more of the adventures of Bob and Eloise. 5*

Great first story! It definitely deserves 5*.

Unlike some of the other comments, I agree with your decision not to write a sequel, unless you really want to. Your wit and imagination takes you to so many destinations (and not just physical destinations) that to stick to one story and ride it into routine sex or scenario would change your style of writing. You enjoy adventure and exploration in your writing (and in your personal life?) and if you ever decide to try a longer series, I suspect it will be because that would be a new adventure for you as well. Great job.

Great story! Good story line, well developed and very well written. I found you from a comment you left on another author's story. So glad I did! I started with this your first submission and plan to read the rest of your work in the order submitted.

Please keep writing. You bring much pleasure to your fans.

Cheers

SAGE

PS: You are now on my Follow List so I don't miss any of your future submissions!

Cheers!