All Comments on 'When It's Love'

Love Story

Great. Might have been better-no, I'm not going to say it. Don't want to piss this girl off so that she doesn't post. Let's just say it was a great story anywhere.

You are such a good writer. I know every time I open one of your stories I'm going to have a good time. I gave you all the stars.

Loved this story...

Amazingly well crafted as we have all come to expect

5 stars

Cagivagurl

Thank You

It is a shorter story, so by necessity you only hit the highlights, but... I wouldn't have minded savouring another dozen or so pages of this story!

The outline was there, and there is meat to it, but I do feel like this story would have been well served had you given yourself the time to fill out the background a little more.

From getting together, to breaking up and the resolution... everything went by in a whirlwind and while I loved the story, I think the fast pace at which everything happens did you a disservice here.

I like a good romance, and I very much like your stories, but I can't help feel this one was a little bit rushed.

5/5 in any case...

You know, I love Everything you write Randi. Best to you and Hubs and Family.

Another great story from blackrandl1958, it was going so well until the bottom of page two, then it just went off the rails, you create a pretty interesting character in Shaw and then (I can hardly bear to say it) he orders a Dr Pepper…really a Dr Pepper, have you tasted the stuff it’s shit and no one either in reality or fantasy actually drinks the stuff, they may well buy it but only because it’s great as a paint stripper, I’ve heard it rumoured that mafia hitmen use it instead of acid to dissolve bodies.

Still loved the story apart from that obvious flaw. Easily 5*’s.

Wow are you a hopeless romantic (ha, ha)! Your writing in this one was may be your best ever; could be made into a Hallmark Movie. Obviously 5*

Great event. Great story. Thanks and 5* from me.

It’s nice to read a feel good story

I know the quote. "Oh what tangled webs we weave, when we practice to deceive." Great story, it's hard to believe it took 18 months to resolve.

Excellent....5

What a wonderful love story. Thank you. Five stars. And, I love Dr Pepper.

And once again, you nailed it!!!

Enjoyable and well written story as always with this author.

One minor annoying editing issue. Pretty sure it should have been homies rather than hommies. Hommies just doesn't look right or feel right phonetically.

The relationship arc between Shaw and Donovan felt way to quick, linear and easy.

It's a shame they lost those 18 months together because Donovan decided to get her feelings hurt and he petulant. She decided to crash Shaw's solitude when he was trying to wrap his head around her actions. His feelings were still raw and he wasn't ready for that conversation yet, which is why he was still out camping by himself. It seemed like he was being entirely reasonable when he said he would trust her but, that he was reserving the option to change his mind after he heard what she had to say. His position made complete sense based off her behavior and actions.

Donovan's father. I'm left wondering if he actively pimped her out or if she did that of her own accord and he was just happy cashing the donation checks her slutty behavior earned. Either way, considering that he had her start helping at those events when she was 18 he's a scumbag. Either way it might have been nice to hear that she either completely cut off or at least severely reduced her relationship with her father.

There's a reason Randi is the queen of Literotica. This story and this event shows why.

It was a nice story and 5* for it.

The only small issue I had was a 23 and 24 year old acting/written like they were 16.

It might be an American thing, the legal drinking age of 21 being an example.

Finding each other, romance, love, tenderness, path to openness, honesty and conversation caring and giving, trust and respect, and to the moon and back forever and ever ❤️❤️

Touched our hearts and souls.

More please!

We love you and your creative writing lit work.

S&J

Sometimes I want to read a story in this category where everything works out for the couple. Thanks for this one.

Skruff101: Dr. Pepper is the 4th largest selling soda, so there are more than a few who do drink it.

Now, the story is VERY good. I love it when two people can reconcile their differences. Hint, hint.

Such a wonderful story with a happy ending. So thankful that this story ending was so believable and a story that probably happens a lot to couples in love.

Good story.

Your last couple stories have revealed an underlying personality that is nuanced, yet makes you truly believe the heroine really exists. Only way I can someone being able to accomplish that fete is by putting a little of themselves in the character. We’ll likely never meet, but your “character “ is a very interesting person. 5*

When I first started the story I anticipated Randi turning Donovan into a cheating slut. Instead she used her considerable magic to create one of the best feel good romances I have ever read. Thank you. Yes to a Hallmark movie and I have always loved Dr Pepper.

A good and fuzzy feel good story,,, I enjoyed it. It gave me some relief from my thoughts.

Put a smile on my face knowing all will be well with them. As intelligent and open with each other as they are he should have been able to talk with her about what he saw before just taking off. She should have been able to talk with him about his trust issue. Or was this just the drama and tension needed for an LW story?

Well one's a liar always a liar

As always, your work is over the top. I am favoriting this one so I can read it when I am down, which is usually when my wife of 48 years is off on a business trip somewhere. Love it.

Get the impression there was a whole lot more to be included about the relationship with the father, and that you maybe removed it to use the story in this event?

Good 5***** story! I expect the critics will be along to say she was and is still cheating. I admit that I have my doubts, but I didn't marry her. Good job!

This is a very well written story and romantic as hell. 5 stars from me

10 stars isn't even close. Randi, you are truly an icon, and I love your stories. Vagabonds is another example. Shaw also gave her the best name a lady can have- MAMA. For all the heartache they went through, everything tuned out wonderful!

I loved this story. I was rooting for the characters and was glad when they got back together. Keep up the great stories.

It is so good to read another of your wonderful stories here, author! 5 stars! Thank you! More?

Dang.

Five.

It was a very well written story. I could picture the characters all the way through. Deserved the 5*.

with respect.

DG Hear

Really nice work. 5* as always.

I like Dr pepper

Lovely. Every story I read of yours ends with me thinking, "This was my favorite one." So, to keep with tradition, I must say that this was my favorite one.

Poor communication or lack of communication is a lame plot device. I get that you wanted to create suspense and drama. Wondering why the dumb shit ran away and ghosted her is not suspense, but rather curiosity at the purpose of making the character so shallow, and a coward. He couldn't handle hearing his not-wife tell him that she's an escort for the university and its just sex? You'd think someone supposedly as intelligent as him would want to know that as soon as possible, and way before the wife complication existed. For all he knows she fucked the jock all night and Then quit the business. But you tell us they lived happily ever after. Well, not ever after, but for a few years after the kids were born. Nothing in this story gives us any confidence that the husband is any smarter or the wife is any less deceitful. Hell, she admitted she was lying to herself, so why not lie to him too? Whatever, it was an interesting story.

Her dad was her pimp, and she did dirty dancing to raise money. Sounds like a safe bet. 🤣

"If you wanna' be happy for the rest of your life..." Kid Creole and the Coconuts.

Gave it a four though. Fun read.

You conveniently left of the fathers part as the university's pimp. I would have serious issues with those values being brought in to the family

Sometimes you have to take a chance for happiness!

5

Thank you for a wonderful story. After watching all the bad stuff on the news tonight you left me with a warm feeling. SK742

Overall I liked it. It is a bit like a dessert where there was too much sugar used, a little too sweet. It would have been a bit more appealing if everything wasn't so perfect. He's a good looking hunk, with a high GPA and great at table tennis and a great career. She's a 10 who is immediately smitten with him and is wonderful at sex.

Coincidently, when he wants to move out from his roommate, the father has an amazing house just becoming vacant, and the mother has an extensive collection of furniture that they need. I think if it had been a little more toned down it would have been a 5 from me but as it is, a solid 4*.

I am so grateful for this story. Thank yo so very much!

I enjoyed this tale. 5 ⭐️s

Loved it Randi, also 5 stars I have to disagree with Amy though vagabonds is my favorite xx

Great story. The 'boy loses girl' part was strained. And we all knew things would work out. Still a feel good one. D

There is mutual love. They were together for 2 years. According to her, there was no direct betrayal. And they're separated for eighteen months? It looks more like she was waiting until the passions finally subsided, acceptance would come and the participants and witnesses of those "dubious events" would lose interest in them and forget dirty details that could expose her in a worse light than she told.

Very well written, with interesting and engaging characters. Part of your talent, for me, is the ability to immerse the reader in the story, like the proverbial fly on the wall. Even quite good authors lead me to maintain some distance, as though I’m reading a story (which, of course, I am). You, OTOH, make me feel that I’m watching people interact IRL. Not many writers have that sort of mastery.

Excellent! Wish I could give it more than five stars!

Excellent! Wish I could give it more than five stars!

What a great story. Congrats.

Now that’s a beautiful love story!⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Great story with great characters. You took it right to the edge and brought it back. 5 stars.

Hooked

Great story. How far did the flirting go? Did he see the worst of what she offered to procure donations or? Any why? Really? Once she was in a committed relationship why should it have continued? Unless she enjoyed it. Were I he, I would want to know.

Regarding the story….enjoyed it immensely. Gotta say it was more a “romance” than an “LW” type…but then I remember that you declared a little while ago that you write “hybrids” — and as far as I’m concerned, you are the best at doing just that.

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Regarding the event that this story is a part of — thank you very much for doing this..and everything else you do to give readers on this site quality material to enjoy.

.

5 *****

I loved it. This IS the kind of story the Loving Wives forum needs more of. It was a little shorter than I'd like as her background could have been fleshed out a little more and filled in. His background was filled in pretty well, including both parents and their jobs, along with his sister (who was going to the same college as he was). I too found it a little fast paced, but sometimes when writing that happens as the words start to flow out and fill the pages. I'm not knocking anything, as I really enjoyed it and gave it 5 full stars. I may re-read it again just to bump up the score as it was that good. As it was I read the first 2 pages before I went to bed last night, then went over them again today before posting my comment and vote. Thank You for sharing it with us. :-)

Lovely.

Nice! I enjoy a feel-good story!! Well told.

Jim

Great story as always. Perfect feel good story right around the holidays.

One more thought, please do a story based on " why can't this be love"

Can't go wrong with Van Halen

Love the story, but 18 months? I would have lasted less than 18 seconds once she showed up at my campsite. Yikes 😜

Impressive storyteller as always. I'm always a little leary of loving wives stories but this was very nice.

Masterpiece. *****

5 as always!

reminds me of conversations I should have had

My goodness Randi, this has to be the best work I have read from you! The best from the best! 10 stars!

It took to long to resolve ,two stubborn people in love. Years wasted. How did they not have dated others in the interim. Just dirty dancing and he explodes and never has the talk so they could work that out? She never dated others or cheated .

5* Thank you for another lovely, believable, story.

Geeze i so enjoy ur writing u always give me a happy ending n in life thats a good thing. It was enjoyed n appreciated. Great job.

Great romance-ish LW story. I really felt for the protags and hoped it would work out. Outstanding.

Absolutely love this. A 10 who is steadfastly loving and loyal, with a great head on her shoulders to match a perfect body, face, and fierce spirit.

Too sweet for me. I read shaw as the type of guy that right up front in the relationship would have politely confronted her about being an escort and not some event coordinator. In fact, he would attend one just to observe.

Lovely story, Randi, that does a great job showing how important honesty and keeping lines of communication open in a relationship are. There were a lot of little points along the way that showed how that relationship grew and was damaged, and “Don’t call me Donna/You can call me Shaw” cracked me up after a tiresome day. The ending was just right after that long day. Great job with the story, and thanks for hosting the event.

Best authors on lit. Great job not just your run of mill cheating story but one with a love theme. Nice ending.

Absolutely loved it. Glad it worked out for the best. 5 stars

You never fail to write an engaging and thoroughly well-crafted tale, that is exactly as you describe it in the intro...

...of COURSE this is a '5' !

EastCoaster

Great story! A sweet read! Thank-you… I thoroughly enjoyed it!

A very good story! Thank you...5*

I enjoy your work but my main comment is to thank you for setting up your challenges. You obviously garner enough respect from your fellow authors to bring out the best in so many and that leads to a lot of good reading! I’ll never have what it takes to do what you all do so well but I certainly appreciate all of your efforts. Thank you so much.

An old curmudgeon

You are THE BEST!

Beautiful story Blackrandi1958.

I think the question that needed to be asked and that she wouldn't want to answer is, did she sleep with any of the alumni PRIOR to hooking up with Shaw? Not that it would matter towards their relationship, but would go towards her character & believability on deceiving herself as she claimed. If she slept with someone to confirm a donation, then she knew what her job at these functions really was. The way she always said, she never let it get further since we met, does that imply that before they met it was on the table for alumni?

Way beyond my reality. However, it was a wonderful story. 5

Spellbinding. Five and a Fave!

Too many blatant plot devices just to engineer a RAAC. The second wife suddenly dropping dead was the worst and most blatant of several.

Thank you Randi!

This is how you write a love story. Such a well told story with enough angst to really hold your attention. Loved it.

Maybe it's just me, but I didn't feel the 5 this time around. So it's a QuickMagazine 4 for Randi the Great. On the up, how's about throwing in "Bohemian Rhapsody" at the start before going onto the title track, and then the event song. Deft drop-in's, you'd have to know to catch 'em. Think what held me back here is that although the separation was lengthy, the resolution seemed too easy. Also, not sure I really trusted that Donovan told the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Think this fool wanted to believe more than to know. But since they wound up happy, maybe not such a fool.

Well done

I wonder why her father allowed her to act the hoe? Maybe he thought more of the money than his own daughter? Glad they managed to get back together had their two little ones.

Another 5* story from you, Randi.

Loved it. Great storytelling, great characters. So great that the crux of the conclusion -- does Shaw believe Donovan won't lie -- carries over to the comments. Only an incredible story can incite such a response.

THANKS

Loved it. Well written and well excellent ending.

Very nice story with a happy ending. The song “When you’re in love with a beautiful woman” comes to mind. She HAD to know she was eye candy, so despite her seemingly down to earth persona, there’s a lot of vixen there as well. I agree with others that stepping back for 18 months is waaaay too long an interlude to become close again without much effort. Come on, these aren’t high elves who can court for a few centuries.

Too perfect. Mostly accurate grammar which makes it a pleasure to read.

Nice story. You did extremely well, with a concept that far too many of us idiotic men have lived… and many didn’t have the happy ending.

The key to your story, IMO, is that it was the opposite: when a Oman loves a man. Donovan waited 18 months to clear the air with Shaw. At 22, that’s an eternity, and a woman *that* beautiful must have passed on countless offers during that span. That’s a lot of temptation and pressure. THAT is her love!