When Jerry Met Ali Ch. 22

Mum came home a couple of days before I had to go back to Sydney. She had met Jeremy twice and knew that he visited me in Bathurst while she had been away. And of course, I had been talking about him non-stop for five months, so I guessed she'd knew my depth of feeling for him by that stage.

What she didn't know was what had happened when he visited or my plans to move to Canberra the next year. On the one hand, I wanted to tell her how excited I was to be making this major life decision, and I wanted her to be happy for me. I had met such a special guy. But on the other I worried that mum might think that I was neglecting my study for some boy. I had to admit that was true. I would defer my study for a time but reasoned that it wouldn't derail my career for over six months and if Jeremy was the one, which knew he was, then I didn't want to let him get away.

Mum had mixed feelings when I told her what I was planning to do. I sensed she wanted to be happy for me but hadn't wanted me to grow up so fast. She questioned my decision to pause my study for six months while I went to Canberra. It was a slight risk, but I had plenty of time left to complete my degree and still keep my options open for further education.

I laid out my plan for her and I think she wanted to convince me I should risk my relationship and not my education. But as I've said, I am quite logical and stubborn, so she must have realised that I was going to get my way, especially if she tried to push her will on me. In the end, mum told me she wanted the best for me but that I should be the one who determined my future.

We cried a lot that day, but they were happy tears.

xox

The whole time I had been dating Liz, I had been going through the motions of love. I happily admit that we had had some good times but never any "floating on cloud nine" times of euphoria. I had eventually fallen into the trap of assuming that we would be together forever and that the monotony of existence I was living would be my future.

It is hard to break out of a doomed relationship the longer it goes on. After a year, you have a kind of signed an unwritten agreement that you will stay with that person forever and after two years, by law, you are unofficially married. If one party wished to seek financial rectitude after two years of living together, they could. Luckily for me, Liz had not taken that option, though she threatened it. What she hoped to take from me I don't know, but she still didn't make things easy for me financially or emotionally. But if we had been in love, then none of that would have happened because we wouldn't have broken up. The problem was that we never really were.

In retrospect, at some point I realised I would never be happy with Liz and to stay beyond that was unfair to both of us. It was probably early on. I can't remember when, but I should have broken it off then. It would have been painful, but it would have been better than dragging it out for five years.

I came to understand that if, after six months, I was still waiting to commit, it would likely never come. By then, I had enough information to decide. Based on that idea, I also determined that, if after the same time, I was still in love with someone (Alison) then she was the one. And if she was the one, then what was I waiting for?

So, it was with that in mind that I drove back to Bathurst just two weeks later.

Unbeknownst to Alison, I had called her mother and asked if I could come and visit her that weekend to talk to her about Alison. She was a little taken aback, but not dismissive or defensive. She must have guessed my intent, and she had a few days to think about her response.

I gave myself plenty of time to get there and prepare myself for the meeting. I wore my best suit and rehearsed my speech a hundred times the week before and, on the journey, up, my stomach churning violently the closer I came to Bathurst and my meeting with destiny.

Alison's mother invited into her house where only two weeks earlier I had worried so much about the wooden floorboards -yes, there was a stain now- and we sat down and made nervous small talk. When I got my chance, I told her I was very much in love with Alison and that I would, with her permission, ask Alison to marry me. I was hoping for the best but expecting the worst, not really knowing what I would do if she said no.

But to my surprise, she took an altogether unexpected option. She said that Alison had spoken to her about me and our plans, so she wasn't entirely unprepared for my visit. She said that Alison was an adult so she could make her own decisions, but thanked me all the same for asking her permission first.

However, by asking her permission, she now hoped that I would abide by her wishes. She said that she would bless the marriage only after Alison had completed her study. If Alison intended to go through with postponing her study to move to Canberra, then that would postpone her blessing.

I thanked her for being so honest and said that I would respect her wishes. I knew I had wanted her just to yes, but she'd hadn't said no.

There was hope.