All Comments on 'When Lightning Strikes'

I like this one. Very romantic story. 5stars

Enjoyable story!

5

I would love a bit more of this one. Thank you👏

Great story only wish it was longer

Nice cute love story, thank you. Wish you could tell us more about this couple. They seem so nice.

Cheers

SAGE

Good one!

A wonderful love story. I'm glad they both rebounded and found one another

I look forward to your stories. Up to your usual standard

5 ⭐️ all day long

A five star fun story.

I hadn’t heard of their respective law firms, but they are surely less prestigious than the old firm Dewey, Cheatam & Howe. 😀 I was wondering when this story would appear here after riding the charts at SOL. Thanks for the three recent stories, each of which is a nice additions to your oeuvre. Thanks for sharing your talents.

Very nice. A real good job of make us dislike the ex with any BTB.

They've only just begun... i hope.

Very enjoyable. A second chapter would be great.

This was the perfect blend of sexiness and story and very believable.

A little too fast paced but still a good story.

Very well done, great story, thanks for sharing.

Nice story, well done.

Just a fun romp in Fantasyland where everything goes just right if the author wants. 5*

A really good story. Hope there is more to come.

Had to keep reminding myself not a LW story, not a LW story, but I wanted his ex to burn - LOL! Great story! 5*

that's one dam good story,it has become my favorite !!!!!!!

An excellent 5 stars story. Deserving of 5 BIG FAT FUCKING FLAMING STARS!

pretty good...

A good start. Believable characters and settings. Looking forward to seeing another chapter.

You start off by telling us the 'hero' is basically bad in bed. Bad enough wifey is willing to step out on him for another guy with a 'dad-bod' basically. Yet, magically, as in practically all LW stories that don't involve a willing cuck along the way, he ends up with a much better woman the minute the paint is dry on the divorce papers. A little too close to the "Standard Formula" and a little too unbelievable.

All around a good story with likable characters dealing with everyday believable problems

Nice!!!

Great little story, I’m glad you didn’t drag it out longer. It could have a sequel if you wanted to do it. I too am a fan of Saddletramp

Thanks for writing

You gotta learn proper grammar! A lawyer is never going to say, "Her and her mom". She and her mom. SHE. Basic first grade grammar. "Her" as the subject makes you lawyer unbelievable. Mechanic, grocery bagger, maybe, but not a lawyer. Down one star, right out of the gate.

Good

OK, but a little too easy. There needs to be some drama/conflict.

(OK, so why don't I write a story - because I _know_ how bad it'd be.)

Pretty darn cool story! Thanks, just what I needed to read at the exact time.

More Please! Great story with an actually somewhat believable storyline. I would love to see where these two go in the next chapters of their lives.

Short, fast and very good. Loved the idea of the pool and thar Sara won. 5⛤

Great story! I enjoy your stories. They allow me to enjoy the feelings of romance, often in its infant stage. Thanks for continuing to write.

Well done. A well written believable story about two ordinary people finding happiness after failed marriages. The absence of vulgarity, humongous tits and 10" + cocks is refreshing. Any additional chapters would be anti-climatic and degrading of a wonderful story.

Simply outstanding and very satisfying... You are an outstanding author and this one hit every target... Congratulations on a job well done!!

5 stars

PLEASE FINISH IT, it's a story that can be the best ever written on here, great writing

Nicely done.

Didn't like it much.

The conversations are shallow, which means the relationship is shallow as well.

Must be an alternate universe, where all business stops on weekends. The senior partner in a law firm. who handles largest corporate clients, can afford to spend Saturdays sitting on a porch drinking beer or cooking for the whole neighborhood.

There are two kinds of Romance stories I like. This was about the right length of the quick read variety. For a longer one when I have lots of time Blue Christmas is a favourite. The characters ae wonderful and developed in tune with the length of the story.

A usual Bh76 has given us an excellent read.

If I were to wish for a bit more, I would have like to have the character of the mother developed a bot more. That wuold have give me that "they live happily ever after" feeling. On the surface she is perfect, but does she have the depth to go the distance?

Nice! They moved quickly, but when the connection is strong, that’s what happens. From personal experience, I consider the story quite believable.

With such good characters, another chapter would be nice, but not essential. I just don’t know where the story could go, without weakening the original.

terrific! only complant would be I would have liked a better explanation of what the

hell crawled up his exes shorts making her flip out on a decent guy?

Yes bh the world wants to know the rest of the story

Nouns, when used as names, need to be capitalized.

That is a cute baby. (Not a name.)

I love you, Baby. (Name.)

Is that your mommy? (Not a name.)

Come here, Mommy. (Name.)

Otherwise we’ll written for a half Loving Wife and half Romance story. 4*

What an engaging, well-written story. Loved the Saddletramp shout out for his Kindle novel. 5 stars.

i think it need more chapters but all love stories do

@Tilan

I look forward to seeing your first story soon! As an English major who had a post-graduate reading comprehension level in the 8th grade I'll be glad to give you an honest critique of your story. Please don't be offended if I don't pull punches or hold anything back. If it's good, I'll prasie you for it, but if it's not I'll tell you where you went wrong in minute detail. Don't pan someone's efforts if you're not prepared to show your own chops. These stories are FREE!

Sorry, but I'm the girl who sent back tests and exams spelling and grammar checked to my teachers. With grades,

It was an enjoyable story and I liked the characters.

I think you should write another chapter, and have the ex-wife come sniffing around. After her boyfriend had his balls kicked in, he'd probably have trouble getting it up, which would doom their relationship. She was very self-centred, so would probably assume that her ex-husband would be glad to have her back again.

RE: Tilan

"where an independent wife is portrayed as a selfish bitch"

Well she cheated on him, hence the divorce. Cheaters are usually selfish people.

-

Also what is the wife "independent" from exactly? Her husband? Doesn't that naturally imply that she's not fully committed to the relationship if her defining trait is independence from her spouse?

I don't usually smoke but will a good cigar....

Great shout out. BTW, I always buy a copy on amazon when I find my favorite Literotica authors have stories there.

Nice story. 5*

@Chiara23

Careful! Tilan has written a few recent stories, which you can read…but not criticize. When I read his stories alongside others on this site (such as Brayce’s recent offerings), his suffer in comparison. That said, the wheat/chaff ratio hasn’t been great lately. Hope that you’re doing well.

A cute story but for my tastes the transition from “I don’t know you” to hopping into the sack went too fast. Certainly I get that she had aspirations before he had a clue, but it just felt rushed. Let the coffee percolate before you rush to pour it! (Yes I know that no one uses coffee perks anymore!)

'Best on Lit'? No. But a cute story wrapped up in a reasonable number of pages and requiring less suspension of belief than a superhero movie. I liked it, just the kind of fun quick read I come here for, characters that feel reasonably real. I'll have to check out your others!

@anon from 5 hours ago re: Tilan. He's been weighted, he's been measured, and he's been found wanting. He can get back to me when he hits 37 stories with 1.2+ million hits. I may not be current in my writing, but the numbers speak for themselves. Typical misogynistic loving wives BS with a different name.

We’ll done

That was very sweet. I am experiencing a combination of thay warm fuzzy feeling and arousal. My husband is about to get laid.

Toodles.

i think it need more chapters in it so it be more love and fun in it it is nice romance

Super cute romance. Super fun to read. Short and sweet. Perfect length. Perfect ending. I appreciate the realistic and likable characters and the lack of cartoonish, exaggerated porn tropes. The only distracting thing for me was smirk. It has a negative connotation and was misplaced in the story. Hardly enough to keep me from enjoying it so much. Well done.

Well, at first I thought the story was a little bit hooky, then thought maybe just a little bit too contrived. As I kept reading I noticed that I had a silly grin on my face that wouldn't go away. The pool with the neighbors was almost too Mayberry RFD, but it helped to explain some of the forward actions by Sara. Couldn't ask for a better ending. Five stars, thanks.

Great story, just a bit short perhaps another chapter. I enjoyed it and looking forward to more of your tales.

Great story, love it. AAAAAA++++++

Heartfelt and humorous… a winning combination.

"What about you, find a girlfriend yet"? "I wasnt sure whether to be annoyed or irritated",,,,,,, uh why? The main character is that sensitive he can't take a friendly joke from his son? Really?

Great story.... I to, would enjoy hearing the rest of the story.

Good story. Would have been to have a more robust ending. Also, would like to hear about some failures on the part of the ex.

[22.11.22]

Tres Romantique!

11/10!!!!!

Really liked the story. Nice change from some of the drama. Or maybe I read way too many "Loving wives" stories?

Just a great story.

I really enjoyed the characters, the story line, and your sprinkling of balanced details throughout! You’re a very solid, good, entertaining writer - and you have such a nice touch and balance of details, cause, reason, action and reaction! Thank you for sharing your talents with us. Keep it going!

Loved it 5 stars

I would like to see the story continue with another part or two.

Maybe with the ex realizing what she lost (since her lover's balls were turned into hamburger) and Sara flaunting it to her (maybe at the son's wedding). Too Bad (or too good) she left the story in the first page.

Children? the Neighborhood celebrating their wedding, another pool? LOL

From the story

[She shook her head and asked, "At what age do they start listening."

I shrugged and said, "You have a six-month window when they are ten, but that's it."]

===> as a father of two kids: hilarious dialog!

Also to some of the commenters: I think you missed the point. Don't think necessarily that Vanessa cared much for her lover and will have no regrets. Look how she left their final meeting. For inscrutable reasons, she decided she wanted to be single again when their son was 18. Period. Sounded more like a bit of a sociopath I that she has no regrets or empathy. She never apologized. Didn't deny when he confronted her. She didn't disparage him or they to stop anything. She planned to leave him. Whether it included her lover or not is up for debate. Sounds like she had no interest in getting married again. Odd. But then again she was just a plot device.

2nd time reading and still a 5

Vanessa and her mother are both bitches!! The reasoning for having a son was pathetic

That was cute story c:

Is there a continuation of this story?

Good one.

Loved the story. He saved her life and they became a couple and a family with a great future! Nice.

Seems unfinished. The ex-wife got away way too easy. At least the MC coulda rubbed the fact he had a daughter in her face.

It ended just as it was getting to the real beginning. There should be more - a lot more. Oh well.

Cute story. Can't believe that Dad was only 22 when his son was born, though. What is it with Lit authors and parents in their early 40s with college age kids .

@vanye it's called having characters in a generation where they grew up with enough money to support themselves (and their family) in their 20s. It's a sign of the time, like dowries in Jane Austen. Its just how things were done, and now because the money isnt there, it isn't. Nowadays peoplr later to have kids because its harder to have enough money to afford them.

Sweet story.

This was lovely. Thank you.

Hopefully Sara's pill didn't work and she'll tell her husband they'd better get married. Then mommy& daddy will tell Shannon she's having a sister and a brother...Please write another chapter,or more!

Sorry Anon 5 months behind me. My sons both graduated from college and had jobs and money enough to support their families. (And my wife and I were in our 40’s). My youngest son bought himself a new pickup truck for a graduation present. My grandson is still in high school and already has his first year of college paid for…because he works…like his father and his uncle. The money is there. You just have to turn off your Play Station, get off your fat ass and get a job.

Very well done and deserves a five.