All Comments on 'When Sorrows Come... Ch. 02'

Blue88, amazing story, nice twist, but i thin Ted needs better luck.You put him too much like a loser.Make him and Gail come together.

Best Wishes, Paul Durow

I liked the story but always wish people like this wife get payback. I know that doesn't always happen. The calculation of this wife is brutal. So she's carrying on an affair but doesn't want to give up her marriage. OK, I don't like it but understand. But then the marriage is over. And she fights to pull it back together all the while plotting to resume her affairs when convenient? What ruthlessness and contempt for her husband. There's not one ounce of remorse. It's just a cold business transaction. If anyone deserves some retribution it's this bitch.

It is like you took the ending of a Just Plain Bob story and tacked it onto the ending of the one your were writing. It was a complete and total shift from the rest of the story, and did not fit the character of Barbara based on her previous internal monologues. The ending felt like watching a serious drama in the theater, but when the film reaches where there would be a nice, dramatic ending which would provide catharsis for the viewer, suddenly Darth Vader appears on the stage and cuts down the main character.

If you had put in something, anything, in the story that indicated actual cheating on her part I could have accepted it. But this ending was just too jarring to deal with. I find myself reading the story, and delibrately skipping the ending, as his contemplating a return is a better ending than what comes after.

I thought the ending was a surprise, but it did give the story a unique twist that I enjoyed. Why is that friends never step forward to tell one half of a couple when they know the other half is doing something wrong, but they will go out of their way to get a couple that is obviously at odds back together?

The ending left a bitter taste in my mouth, but, that is how life is. We are victims of our fantasies. One thing that I find interesting is that she was clearly suffering when he initially left and I will bet that she will have a breakdown when she finds the ring on the table again. Thanks for a brilhiant piece of work.

Blue88 must really hate women. His characters wallow in self pity, denial and anger. This story had good potential, then author threw in the gratuitous ending that had nothing to do with the rest of the story. Blue88 and his characters need to grow up and be adults, but at his age that's not likely.

His stories show creativity but they lack compassion and humanity, as I suspect his personal life reflects. I don't need to read anymore of his work.

3 Stars for the writing. A piece of crap for the storyline. Blue88 you are a hurting puppy go get laid boy!!!!!!!

His wife should of guessed that he would turn up unexpectedly. Poor planning on her part. With his suspicions it is a wonder that he didn't pick up earlier on her cheating. Two years and she had cheated before. Great story.

The last paragraph was great, leave the ring and the door open and the slut will figure out the rest. Of course she really didn't love him, not like a normal woman would, she couldn't stop fucking around even with everything at stake.

When Ted came home early from the business trip, why was Barbara's car in the driveway if she wasn't home? But if she was home, what does that tell us about the rest of the story? I have a bad feeling about the friends and about the "explanation". Would Barbara and Ann have planned her seduction of Matt to take place in Ted's home office? What an unromantic place for the first time. And she (Barbara) loans her sexy dress to Ann for that purpose? Doubtful. Ann would have wanted the first time to be unique to she and her new found true love. She wouldn't have worn her friend's dress. Neither of those facts fit. So...if Ted saw Matt's buns that night, and the legs did not belong to Ann, then who was the woman whose voice Ted believed was Barbara's? And why would Matt have taken such an interest in finding Ted? He spends what had to have been a rather large sum on private investigators. Why did he have such motivation to save the marriage of friends he had only recently met? The real question is: would Ann have gone along with a ruse to aid her friend? And if she did, did she know that the man that Barbara was with was none other than...? Aw, shucks. It's all circumstantial evidence.

Really enjoyed it. Thanks!

I like the story, a good read but it has the feeling of not being finished.

GD Hear's "wild ending" comment reveals a lot about how many writers in the Lit.com LW category view their readers. There is evident a lot of arrogance with more than a tinge of "support the old boy's club" insouciance. "Let the fucking reader figure it out. We don't have an obligation to develop a resolution to the stories conflict." It appears that these guys don't even think it is incumbent on them to clearly state exactly what the conflict is in the first place. Let the reader guess what was going on in the middle part of the story by figuring out the ending. In other words, figure out both the real conflict and the ending. The writer, then, does not have to hold himself to any real standard of clarity.<p>

Sweet deal if you can get it.

maybe a chapter 3 perhaps , continuing the life of both

I really enjoyed this one. I had no idea what was coming until almost the end of Chap 02. You would do us all a favor if you would continue this tale. Too many unanswered questions are still on the table.

for our idiot of a hero. Too blind to know what's going on, then runs away. Then marinades in his own misery for a few months without taking any action whatsoever. Oh yeah, don't forget that he handed over all of his decision making rights to his lawyer. Yeah, right. Fortunately in real life, there are no such morons. And if by any slim chance any man's life turned out this way, then the moron involved should thank heaven he did not produce any offspring.

To the author, if you aimed for a depression to engulf instead of entertain your readers, then congratulations for your accomplishment.

There were the facts and he learned, and he acted.

why not have Elvis and Bigfoot disembark from a UFO and whisk Ted away to Wonderland

When Barb said she was now getting the best of both worlds, I suspected she was a cheater.... I was right!!!

She could not lie her way out this time...

Ooohhh. All the twists and turns! Great story!

He keeps walking away . . . jeez. He shd have just stayed in the kitchen until Phil showed up and taken care of him like the previous time. And then confronted his wife. This is a good story--good turns and twists, but we needed a climatic confrontation . . . something with heart and passion . . .

Why is it always in these stories is it the husband that has to leave the house whule the cheating wife gets to stay?

She can 'Phil" up whenever she can arrange it. And he's away and can get a proper dovorce settlement and screw her over?

I am surprised by the twist ending. I read it, then re-read it, then re-re-read it before I realized the author had not added a chapter from another story.

I hate the way the author led us along, then made Ted's worst fears come true about his wife. I actually expected a happy ending to what was up until the last page, a predictable, formula story.

How on one hand can Ted state he does not want confrontation when early on in the story, he is promoted to a position of power? A position that would require confrontation and an assertive personality. Ted does not exhibit an assertive personality in his personal life and I cannot believe he can seperate the two, use on pwersonality at home and another at work.

The author did not play fair with the reader in that when he gave us Barbara's thoughts and feelings, she never reveals any of what she states at the end about her sexual nature. I feel she and the author can do this only if she has multipersonality disorder. Otherwise, the ending, while surpising, does not ring true. Also, how did Phil get to Ted's house, when Ted makes no mention of another car in the driveway? If Ted does not like Phil, Ted certainly would know what car Phil drove and would have recognized it parked in front of his house. To say Phil got a new car would be patronizing.

The author should have made several different endings for the reader with this twist ending. Like, Ted walking in on them and confronting them; or retrieving a large butcher knife when he goes into the kitchen and slicing them up; or the voices he heard were from the television show she was watching, although no names should have been mentioned. Then have Ted burst in and catch her watching TV with her hair in curlers and cold cream covering her face. Now that would have been ending.

i like the story, but the hanger at the end. would like to see what would happen in another chapter.

Appreciated the twist at the ending. You never know (until it is too late) what the truth is. Some men have blown them both away, others have been confrontational in other ways, sometime with vindictiveness. This walking away quietly speaks volumes. Loved it.

he should of busted in at the end

Phil's been getting that pussy for two years...let him pay for it.

Hyper super revenge story with a tiny mistake. The author did not write any epiloge. 5 stars.

Please, please write the final chapter. There is no closure here.

no he walks in on a conversation,he ran off without confronting her no you make her a cheat.he come back. a little unbelievable..

dont be suprised at the resulting events. TK U MLJ LV NV

he sits on the telly and watches the sofa

he sits on the telly and watches the sofa

Was disappointed. Language got Brit stiff and formal. Actions got unbelievable.

Kolkore said it quite well. As readers, we were mislead about the story. This came out of left field and the thoughts and actions of the wife were dishonestly displayed.

So the ending was ruined for me, not because it was implausible, but because the author purposefully set me up to fail. Her inner narration deceived us.

As an aside and not to specifically smack Blue88 around, I get a little tired of the cheater's exposition where the couple, caught by the husband/wife, lays out the whole history of their infidelity

"Gee Marge. Isn't it nice we've been banging for 14 years under Homer's nose?"

"Yes Ned! I particularly like the fact that you took my anal cherry and how little Maggie isn't his daughter!"

"D'OH!"

I doubt people talk that way to their lovers but I see why the trope is so attractive.

If somebody gets much positive reinforcement in his/her brain (oxytocin, dopamin, serotonin, endorphin and adrenalin) from the cheating he/she will work a cheater for 15-20 years or until his/her death.

What the fuck for? Author abandoned this turd of a story for good reason; deceiving readers turns a story to shit. In the next chapter she wakes up and realizes she shot JR? Blue88 recognized the colossal blunder and left this story to moulder in the grave, and rightly so.

Someone else said that you lied to your readers. Valid point. You painted Barb throughout as basically a faithful wife with a couple of minor aberrations, one of which happened before they were married. We read her thoughts and wishes about her marriage. We read her pain. And in the end, you turned her into a cheating slut simply to dash the hopes of those looking forward to what could have been a marvelous happy ending. Bad form, very bad form. I too am now sorry I read the story.

Overall a good story with a twiest at the end. Though I find it really hard to believe she would be screwing around especially if she had been wearing her husband's wedding band around her neck for so long(several months according to your story).

Poor ending it would help to know how he deals with this

He made the same fucking mistake again and just walked out ? OMG

Walked out too often. That wimp is almost impossible to bear. That´s why the story lost a lot of sense. Too bad

Though your story was well written with genuine characters, you failed in finishing your tale. What were her reactions to her discovery of his discarded ring and it's significance? Why would he just walk away realizing her long going affair with Phil without extracting some type of revenge or at least wanting to know why?

And, why, after portraying her as such a loving and devoted wife all this time would you decide to twist the ending in such a finality? Didn't make sense unless there was to be more to this story.

Just re-read this one. I had forgotten the twist ending; which I loved! The conlusion was a terrific way to tie together the story.

Poor, poor finish. Pity.

Very sad ending for the man. Almost wimpish. I say almost because he left and dint accept her sluttish behavior so technically he cant be called a wimp. Ideally he should have entered in and busted his wife and late should have had some revenge. That would have been perfect. Hopefully someone will write part 3 and give it a good finish.

Busted the bitch! Excellent

Fucking cheating whore cunt skank slut twat wife. I actually was feeling good about the outcome of this tale and the cunt was a cheating skank anyway. Very sad for Ted as now he is worse off than before. Fuck.

Well written tale. I like that they lived in South Philly.

Could perhaps do with a final chapter, all the pieces of the plot have been introduced so why not?

This really needed a proper ending. Left hanging .....

came true with a vengance. Check Mate. TK U MLJ LV NV

it surprised the hell out of me the first time i read it - fuck that cheating god damn cunt.

A confrontation would have been more interesting. Otherwise a good read.

Okay the story started out decent; not great but decent. These people obviously stayed together for their children which they had way to early, by the way, and thought they could get better after a few stumbling mistakes. Yay for them. But in comes the ending and instead of things maybe working out and the wife actually being a loving wife she's of course a cheater. Damn. Decent story that was a little thin and fucked by the ending.

After the long story,why the deception. He never found her cheating and only left after a misunderstanding and never confronted her in that room seeing two bodies only.now he comes home and hear that conversation. I find this ending strange..

NOT FINISHED, PLEASE SOMEONE FINISH THIS!

First when ever there is a constant argument in a relationship and no end is in sight trust there something being hidden from one or the other. Ted never saw the big picture, Apparantely when Barbara first cheated was actually when they were engaged (the boyfriend at the booth) WSC CH.01. and Secondly when Barbara mention Phil when they were at home. Ted was so caught up in anger that he was really blind and not at all thinking about what was said. Their arguing kept him off balanced that way he never had a chance to think and it made him ignorant to what was really going on. How is it that Ann never Knew what her girl was up to. Or did she, after all she was in Barbara's house fucking Max and where was Barbara at this time at Ann's house no less Fucking Phil. If her car was not in the garage. Ted never Entered the rooms each time he came home early. I know this story is an old one but Blue88 I think you Need no Must reward yourself and Give your readers a perspective from Barbaras' point of view and tell us us how she felt about Ted catching her with her ass out.

he should have called the friends who acted all knowing and asked them to come to the house right now and see for themselves, he also should have faced her and told her that she is a whore and waled away.

I LOVE THIS STORY - the husband finally catches on and dumps the cheating fucking cunt and she is on her own. she cant cheat now, she does not have a husband, she does not have a friend, she has a few orgasms, the reputation as a cheating cunt, and old age alone for a future. i love this story. 5

I just hate to see cheaters get off so easily.

....as expected many missed the plot....it was not about the cheating "bitch" per se but more about Ted's self discovery...

.....pattern of the story was to build Ted into a strong and decisive person who is able to move on in life......(before he came back he had discovered he could live without Barbara)...ie doesn't need her to be happy

...and all you all who think Barbara got off easy....consider these facts, 1-they were the battling Arnolds,arguments were usually because he became unpredictable...kinda hard to cheat if partner is unpredictable.

2-got really mad to see him with another woman...kinda defeats the purpose of cheating if he is being taken care of hence might not even need you.....

Now consider these two statements....1 to Ann "its like I've got the best of both w..." and,2 to Phil "..its the wrongness of it."... she needs Ted.

".....walked out of the house, not bothering to close the behind him.".......he had his closure.....why stress out....

No torch the bitch here for sure. Wimp AND cuck. Ugh. It is disgusting what some people call 'love' or for that matter 'just sex'. Why even get married. VD doesn't exist and getting AIDS is a myth, right?

he should have dumped a bottle of vodka on the couch and tossed a match before he left.

What the hell was she fighting for -

She was so vicious and self centered it is impossible to find any sympathy for her - on any level -

She loves him but fucks around even when she finds out she can have a chance to get him back - pretty well compartmentalized love at that - and she has been doing it all along - what contempt and disrespect for someone she says she loves. Pure bitch.

Nicely done - it really was a bit of a give away when he left to get home early again! but still sheesh - you do have to wonder how he did after that once it was all out in the open and he could begin to deal with the truth finally.

Almost as bad as the clowns who take cheating wives back. I'm not sure why your stories are so highly rated. The four I've read have been disappointing, never living up to the praise in the comments.

Ya this was a mess whipped cuckie still wants to make a go of it even after being shat on

An amazing tale. A shocking ending. I was actually feeling sorry for her. Your best.

that bitch will know she's toast

and how she will moan, and cry, and wail

makes me wish I could see it

her pain and anguish would be beautiful to behold

and her lime in hell will be just beginning

and she'll know it was all her fault

nice job :)

man what a kick in the nuts.

For what reason? To piss off readers? You probably succeeded more than you imagined.

Fortunately, only a few LW authors pull this trick in their works.

Well that was fun. Hell of a way to confirm all of your fears. I guess Ted will really be a basket case now. The only nagging question I have is if Matt and Ann were in Ted's house, where was his wife Barb when he came home early? That was his biggest mistake. Could have solved a lot of problems right then. The ending was quite a turnabout to what I was expecting. That's why this one needs a chapter 3. Especially needs Ted to go back to Vegas and have him hook up with Gail.

However, this author was very prolific in 2005/6. Then slowed down to his last post in late 2010. I hope he's ok but not expecting a finish. 4 stars for the suspense and an unexpected ending.

Well written, interesting premise, believable characters and wonderful twist ending.

and one has to know the difference and consequences. TK U MLJ LV NV

You have to give this a third chapter, I need to know how it finishes, this man needs closure and he hasn't gotten it yet. We the readers deserve some closure to this story as well. He learned from his original mistake that he should have charged into the bedroom and confronted his wife, instead he runs away and cowards in another state. This time he must do something, he cannot leave this unfinished. Please write a third chapter.

Gave it 3 stars. A bit too much going on, with subplots such as the big win at the casino, and his new friend met there. As pointed out by another commenter, where was his wife when he arrived home and Ann was with her fiancé in his marriage bed. Probably with her latest lover! I did enjoy the story but the husband was put through the ringer too much for my stomach.

What a waste!

No, this doesn't work for me. Ted's actions seem to belie his character: he is stubborn, argumentative, confrontational. The first time he discovers his wife and Phil in a compromising position, he reacts with anger and punches Phil out; that fits the personality the author has developed for Ted. But, twice slinking away like a wounded puppy doesn't seem to be his nature, especially the second time, when he should have learned what a disaster running was. Sorry, it just doesn't feel right.

But I would like chapter 3 as well, please...!

But old Babs was exactly the cheating whore I thought she was!

What a worthless cunt. What a despicable, hypocritical, low-life cheating cunt wife. He's now right back where he started. Except he now knows what a worthless piece of shit that skanky cunt really is. Hopefully she dies in pain soon. I try to be less violent in my comments but sometimes I can't help it. Sue me.

A chapter three would be nice. Somebody out there...

This story is weird. The loving wife and he walks in on her but never sees who screwing whom runs away. So we all think she is not a cheat and then at the end you make her a cheat?

To. Many unanswered questions.? Why is he running ? A cowards way out?

He was right about her cheating, two years with Phil, who is not the first.

The divorce was already in progress.

Why does he need to talk to her ?

Why does she deserve him listening to her ?

What could she possibly say that would make any difference ?

While avoiding necessary pain is mentally unhealthy, avoiding unnecessary pain is sanity.

Walk in there and give them both a beating. Sometimes the direct approach is best.

He's going to run away again. AT least go in and call her a cheating slut before leaving. Such a disappointing ending to a good story.

Matt and Ann are both adults, presumably with their own homes (apartments or houses) and cars.

So why are they using Barbara and Teds car and house as if they were teenagers ?

A contrived plot device ?

There is a line from "Dances With Wolves" that would apply:

"You are not worth talking to."

I wondered where you were heading towards the end, but I loved the ending. Ted finally knew the truth & ended it perfectly. Barbara would find his ring, know he'd found her cheating & know she'd lost him for good, just the perfect revenge. No jail time for him & he could go on with his life without her as a millstone. 5 big*****

I stand by my original assessment; he an idiot. He should have found this out ages ago. It's not like he had no clues. He just had his head up his ass. Not to mention he had a golden opportunity to take out a major player, and wasted it. Who knows how many marriages up the road he could have saved.

Maybe I'm critical, but if you need a moron for a plot to work; please come up with a better plot! I'm not singling you out; I find this a major turn-off that many authors here are guilty of.

Because I would do the same thing. Just leave. She knows what happened when Ted's ring is there, Matt left it for him so she knows he has it. The open door combined with the ring left on the table is message and confrontation enough.

I can't imagine something like this happening to me. But what Ted did is exactly what I would do and I'd never speak to my wife again though we've been married almost 40 years. I'd load the shit I wanted and couldn't leave behind and she would never hear from me again.

There was NOTHING in the story to indicate she was having a long-term affair.

The bit with Phil at the party was depicted FROM HER POINT OF VIEW, as a tease to get back at Ted's supposed fling.

And we never did get any sort of an explanation for Ann and Matt using the study instead of either of their own houses. And where was Barbara? Her car was there - I'm not so sure that Matt ISN'T covering for her.

I hate when an author gets bored with a story and comes up with some asinine twist to quickly end a story. Why post a piece of garbage when you can just hang on til the ending comes to you. Not clever at all.

Maybe FTDS could take care of this one too...3*

Forget all the dickless commentators asking for more & the others who say he should have known. Did they know when the shit hit their fan, I bet not. What's the saying " love is blind ", so so true, my friend. Certainly your best tale yet, he did exactly what was necessary, leave her cheating ass behind & not look back. Excellent work

5 * * * * *

only this time its real. TK U MLJ LV NV

We need you FTDS, this ball less writer can't get the job done

Help!!!!!!

before you leave the house, call Matt and Ann, and tell them to come to the bedroom. just so everybody is on the same page.

1 star