When the Bastard is a Nice Guy

Their lives were progressing nicely. The finances were excellent. Their group of friends were always there to support them and be a never-ending source of companionship and fun. The children of these friends were eagerly swamped by Melinda and Ben in order to fulfill their unfulfilled desire for children of their own.

To this group of friends, their work situation was slightly strange, but as long as they both seemed to be managing it, no one commented.

Perfect, perfect, perfect.

The revelation:

Until one night three years after the two-by-two FIFO began.

Ben was at home, finishing off some household financial tasks when something caught his eye. Melinda had just left for Sydney. He was after all, a forensic accountant, and a well-renowned one at that. He noticed a statement which had been mailed to his wife. So, nothing strange there, right? Except the it was mailed to a MISS Melinda Hines. That was her maiden name. She hadn't used that name to his knowledge since they married. She was now MRS Melinda Jefferson. The statement was for a credit card which, again, was in her maiden name and it displayed a great number of items for restaurants, hotels and clothes shops.

The address on the front was somewhere in Sydney. This address was crossed out as it was obviously wrong and a 'Return to Sender' note written in. Ben again looked at the mailing address and realised that it had been re-directed to her company head office in Perth which again re-directed it to this address. He realised that the Sydney address had been incorrect by two unit numbers. The owners of that unit must have known where Melinda worked and sent it there. Ben knew the apartment which Melinda had been living in while in Sydney. What a crazy mistake! Ben's forensic mode did not shut down, however. He saw the expenses that were listed on the card statement and analysed them. Of the fifty-three expense items, ten were for restaurants, (ok, Melinda obviously had the need to entertain clients), twenty-four were for clothing (ok, she kept a professional wardrobe while in Sydney. She didn't take her wardrobe backwards and forwards with her. She maintained a functioning wardrobe while there.) and the others were for a myriad of sundry small purchases. Nothing strange there.

Ben looked again at the clothing expense items. Five were from a shop called, 'Dare to be Bare-Almost!' Now that was different. He called up the shop on the internet and was shocked to see that it was an adult shop specialising in lingerie. The alarm bells started to ring in Ben's head. Lingerie? Melinda? She never brought any different lingerie home. She knew that Ben really appreciated Melinda au-naturale and wasn't really into sexy lingerie. But she obviously bought heaps of it! This needed to be investigated more carefully.

The next day, when the time difference allowed, he phoned the adult shop in question. "Hi, it's Hilary, Dare to be Bare Almost. How can I help you?"

"Hi Hilary. I just received my bank card statement and was wondering if you could clarify something for me?"

"No problem. Just please remember we cannot divulge any private information. What would you like clarified?"

"Actually Hilary, it is on behalf of my partner, Mrs, I mean Miss Melinda Hines."

"Oh, you mean Mel. She is a regular here. Are you John? I have often seen you here with her, but never actually met you. Mel is one sexy lady. You are a lucky man, what with the wide range of lingerie she buys here. Next time you are both in, come and introduce yourselves. I have a new range of daring black that you might be interested in."

Ben was dumb-founded and the stammers and grunts he produced into the mouthpiece of the phone must have startled Hilary.

"Are you ok John? This is really a bad connection. Could you try phoning back? Maybe we can get a better line."

The dial tone buzzed on for what seemed like forever. Ben carefully replaced the handset and sat heavily on his chair.

The facts played out in his mind as a mental checklist.

Melinda owns a wide range of lingerie which she never showed or shared with him.

She is a well-known customer who often shopped at 'Dare to be Bare Almost' adult shop.

She shopped there with a man named John.

She displayed this lingerie to this 'John' character.

She openly used her maiden name to own a credit card.

Ben was an idiot.

The feeling of despair and helplessness overwhelmed Ben. Part of him, the part which loved and trusted Melinda, argued in his head to remain calm and that there was a perfectly normal explanation for what was going on. The other part of him, the rational, pragmatic, forensic accountant part of him, argued that his marriage was toast. He was caught between the two angels on his shoulder. Never before had he felt so indecisive. Maybe that bottle of good Margaret River Cabernet would help!

It didn't. In fact, all it did was allow him to fall into a drunken slumber and sleep until noon the next day. Ben was an alcohol lightweight! He stumbled into the kitchen and made a sandwich, the contents of which would remain a mystery forever. He ate like a robot, completely devoid of conscious memory. His indecisiveness again surfaced and as he was reaching for the second bottle of promising red, he realised what he was falling into. He shuddered and fell to the floor, overcome with such profound grief that his tears rolled freely for an indeterminable time. He didn't want to believe what the accountant side of him was telling him. The facts were undeniable. He needed more proof, however.

Stifling his sobs, he phoned the apartment complex where Melinda stayed. He phoned the manager, a number which, again, he was able to get from the net.

"Hello, Bruce here. Nightshade Apartments Darling Harbour. What can I do for you?"

"Hey Bruce, mate. John here from apartment 276."

"John! How are you mate? You sound a little different. You didn't forget your keys again did you? I told Mel that if you keep forgetting your keys, I would have to charge you for call-out fees. Just kidding. Mind you, with a foxy wife like yours, I could probably understand a little mind numbness, know what I mean?" He chuckled. "No worries mate. Now what can I do for you?"

"No, no key problems Bruce. Just a strange question, but you have known both of us forever, right?"

"Of course mate. I was here long before you two shacked up here. I was manager here when it was just Mel. When you two got married, I was glad. That Mel sure attracted a lot of attention if you know what I mean!" again the chuckles.

"Can you remember the date that was? I mean the date we shacked up. I remember the date we were married, but I wanted to surprise Melinda, I mean Mel, with some flowers to remember our first shacking up, if you know what I mean." This time Ben forced a chuckle.

"No worries mate. Now let me think. You married two years ago in January. I know, because I arranged the reception here at the apartment complex. I heard some comment about how it was a whirlwind six month romance. So, it must have been about June or July, two and a half years ago. Hope that helps John. I have to go. Cheers"

Ben let the phone slide from my hand.

The facts:

The list of facts was getting larger. Ben had to write them down.

Melinda owns a wide range of lingerie which she never showed or shared with him.

She is a well-known customer who often shopped at 'Dare to be Bare Almost' adult shop.

She shopped there with a man named John.

She displayed this lingerie to this 'John' character.

She openly used her maiden name to own a credit card.

Melinda began her affair two and a half years ago.

She married John two years ago.

They live together in her apartment at the Nightshade Apartments, Darling Harbour, Sydney.

Melinda is a cheating slut.

Ben is an idiot, an absolute fucking 'A' grade idiot.

The sad enormity of what was happening had a mind-altering effect on Ben. He was normally a calm, considered man. He didn't let a lot bother him. He was happy with his life and his relationship with Melinda, until now that is. He suddenly became aware of a blinding hate. This was an emotion which was foreign to him. It was so foreign, that as he became more aware of it building in his gut, he physically shook and felt his blood pressure rise. The scream he let out was so guttural and so primal, he surprised even himself with its intensity. "That low, cheating whore!" he yelled at the walls. "That lying slut. How could she?"

Questions flooded his mind while his body raged. The first was the obvious, "Why? Why would she do this after all we had been through together?" The second became logistical. "How? How could she marry again when she was already married? How could she fool the Marriage Registrar into letting her get married twice?"

Ben knew with a certainty that his marriage to Melinda was over. He could never trust her again after what he had found out. His love for her, intense as it had been, was replaced by a seething hatred, equal if not more intense than his love had been. He knew he had practical considerations to take care of. He had almost two weeks left before she was due back home. Plenty of time to get things organised. He was pleased for his work status. Working from home meant that he could simply re-arrange his own schedule to take whatever time he needed.

Taking care of business:

First order was the finances. Melinda obviously had her own credit card under a different name from her married name, so he had to separate the finances into two accounts. He opened his own credit card account and savings account. It felt weird to do this, as in the past, he did everything in joint names. His business was the only entity in his own name. He transferred all of his cash into his own personal account and arranged to dissolve his business. He individually phoned each of his clients and explained the situation to them. Surprisingly, most were on board and were willing to sever their accounts with him, at least until he set up his business again after the impending divorce. He changed the beneficiaries of his superannuation account to his mum.

Next came the house. He and Melinda were joint owners, so there wasn't much that could be done with it. He really wanted to sell it, but knew he couldn't legally. Fortunately, it was paid off, so it would be a fifty-fifty split of any forced sale.

Her belongings? Ben decided to box all of her belongings up and have them ready to be shipped out. The receiving address was where she stayed in Sydney. He would arrange to send them on the day before she was due home. That way they would arrive there at least a week after she arrived back in Perth. She would have no idea where they went until they arrived there. She would arrive here in the Perth home to an empty house.

Ben arranged to rent an apartment in the centre of Perth. He would be closer to his client base and could still work from there when the dust settled after the divorce. All of his belongings were sent there and set up. It didn't feel like home, but it was better than the house which now brought up sad memories and bitter feelings. Nothing was in the new apartment that would remind him of Melinda and their past life together.

Now the legal stuff. He saw a divorce lawyer and got the paperwork started so that she could be served when she arrived home. Ben knew the timing of her arrival as it never varied and let the court server do their work.

Last order of business was the bastard who 'married' her. He deserved some payback. Ben booked a flight to Sydney which coincided with her flight back to Perth. He would hopefully arrive in Sydney before she arrived in Perth. He needed this to happen so that she could not warn that bastard John.

The day of the flights arrived and Ben arrived in Sydney one hour after Melinda departed for Perth. Perfect. She was incommunicado for at least four more hours. He made straight for the apartment complex and requested to speak with the manager. Bruce greeted him with a curious look. "Yes mate. What seems to be the trouble?"

Ben outlined the sad tale and showed him pictures of Melinda, Melinda and him at their wedding and his own driver's licence. Bruce was flabbergasted to say the least. "Strewth mate. This is a real shit storm. I don't know what I can do, but I want no trouble here. Understand?"

"Bruce you've already done a heap, but can I ask one favour? Firstly, is John in the apartment right now? And can I get up there to meet him under some pretext? Maybe tell him that I am a prospective apartment buyer and could I preview his apartment very quickly because the one I want to buy has the same aspect? Would he buy that?"

"Ben, I have to tell you mate, that John is a really nice guy. I have spoken with him quite a bit. He is friendly and seems true blue. I don't think he has it in him to be a bastard, especially one who would pull this sort of stunt. Just lay easy on him, alright?"

Reluctantly, Ben promised that he only wanted to talk to John, that's all.

They made their way to apartment 276. Bruce knocked on the door and when it opened, there stood John. It surprised Ben to see that he was almost the splitting image of himself. There were obvious facial differences, but everything about him reminded Ben of himself. His stature, dress, body shape all mirrored his. His face had a gentle demeanour and when he spoke to Bruce, his voice was calm and measured. This was not what Ben expected. He expected to at least see a man who projected, 'asshole'. He expected a smart ass with a hard cruel voice, someone dressed as an arrogant playboy. Ben was taken aback. By this time, Bruce had convinced John of the truth of their cover story and he introduced Ben to John.

Meeting the bastard:

"Ben, this is John, the co-resident of the apartment. John this is Ben."

They shook hands and Ben immediately felt a genuineness in his handshake. It was warm, yet firm. "John, pleased to meet you. Thanks muchly for allowing me this chance to see what an apartment at this side of the building is like. I won't take much of your time. May I quickly look around?"

"No worries Ben. This is a bit unusual, but go ahead. Sorry the lady of the house isn't in, but she has unusual work schedules and flew out just this morning. To tell you the truth, it is probably a welcome interruption to my work day."

"Oh. What work are you in?" Ben asked while glancing around the lounge area. What he saw took him by utter surprise. The furnishings were nearly the same as Melinda and his house in Perth. Even the photos were in the same photo frames and in the same places. He could feel his anger beginning to surface and had to fight to keep it under wraps. There was much he had to learn first and going nuts right now would not achieve anything. He barely heard John's answer.

"I work from home as a software engineer. It suits me perfectly as I could never work in a crowded office. Far too many distractions. What about you Ben? What do you do for a crust?"

Ben considered telling him a made-up story but thought better of it. "Hey, we could be brothers. I also work from home as a forensic accountant. Like you it suits me perfectly as well."

By this time Bruce was getting nervous, expecting at any moment to see fireworks.

Ben decided to glean as much info as he could. "I couldn't help but notice that wedding photo over there. May I?"

"Sure. Go ahead. That's Mel, my wife. We have been married for two years. Bruce here arranged our reception, right here at the apartment complex. Again, sorry she isn't here right now. She works strange hours, but it works for us."

There was a pause while Ben studied the photo. It was Melinda alright. He felt tears begin to well up as he once again felt the depth of her betrayal. To hide his watery eyes, he quickly replaced the photo and walked cursorily around the apartment, even glancing into the main bedroom. It struck Ben again how similar everything was to the Perth house.

Eyes under control, but anger still bubbling, he surprised himself at not feeling any animosity for John. Everything about him oozed sincerity and friendliness. He just couldn't hate the guy. Ben was torn. One part of him just wanted to extract his pound of flesh from this bastard. The other part of him wanted to learn more and understand how all of this came to be. He would need closure to this sad chapter of his life. "Look John, I really appreciate your letting me in like this. Can I repay you with lunch? My shout. Bruce, do you know any good eateries around here where we can grab a better lunch than burgers and fries?"

Bruce was almost speechless, but managed to blurt out, "Yeah sure. "Mario's Italian, right around the block. You can walk there. The lasagne is to die for and they stock the biggest range of San Giovese red to suit. John knows where it is. He and Mel often go there, right John?" He paled as he added the last part. Now he expected the altercation, but it didn't come.

"Right John, let's go. Bruce did you want to come as well?"

"Ahh, no. I'm good. Got work to do, you know. But you two go right ahead." This situation was going to be part of his bar talk for years to come!

The walk around to Mario's was pleasant enough. John was indeed a real friendly bloke and it was hard for Ben to maintain any ill-feeling towards him. As he took part in the easy conversation with John, he decided to come clean with him. John was also obviously unaware of the true situation.

It was during the main course, the renowned lasagne, that Ben brought out a photo of him and Melinda. It was their wedding photo. "John, you allowed me to look at your lovely wedding photo, so I think it only fair that I do the same. Have a close look." Ben carefully laid the photo out for John to see.

"Wow Ben. That's freaky. If I didn't know any better, I would say that that is my wife Mel. They say that everyone has an identical somewhere in the world. That's amazing!" He continued to study the photo. "What's your wife's name?"

Ben kept wanting to say, "Not wife, but soon-to-be exwife." Instead, he replied, "Melinda. She used to be Melinda Hines."

John didn't register the surname straight away, but seemed focussed on her first name. "Melinda? And my wife's name is Mel. That could be short for Melinda, right?" There was a long pause while John took a long drink of his red wine. "Wait a minute. Is this some kind of joke? Are we on candid camera or something? Did you say Melinda Hines? H-I-N-E-S?"

"Yes John. I did. There are things we need to talk about."

The colour drained from his face to be replaced by a flush of anger. "Now listen here, you bastard. Are you trying to tell me that you married my wife Mel? You wife-stealing scumbag!" He rose from his chair in rage and was about to grab Ben when two large well-built arms grabbed him from behind.

Mario whispered forcefully into John's ear. "No trouble in my restaurant, OK? You want fight over woman, OK, but take into street. Comprende? You enjoy my lasagne but you not destroy my place. All these other good people come to also enjoy my food. Don't spoil it for them."

John nodded. He was still a bright red, but sat down reluctantly.

Ben sadly added, "John, you married Mel, or Melinda two years ago. I married her over five years ago. Look at the date on the photo."

He did so. After glancing at the photo, then Ben several times, the truth took him over. Ben had never seen a man so physically collapse into his seat as John did. It seemed as if every bone in his body melted. The absolute desolation of his body was reflected in the hollow look of his eyes which were tearing up uncontrollably.

"You mean, she, Mel married me while she was married to you? Isn't that illegal? I'm sorry man. This is just too much for me to take in. I love, loved, her with all of my being. She was my world. How could she do this to me, to us? Why would she do this? It is the ultimate cruelty. When I met her, I thought I would spend the rest of my life with a beautiful, smart, loving, determined woman. We couldn't have kids. The doctors made that very clear. She even showed me the medical reports. I, I, loved her."