All Comments on 'When We Were Married Ch. 06A'

However, I notice in this chapter the rebirth of the old Debbie who married Bill back in the late 1980's. This rebirth could most likely have resulted from her sessions with Dr. Teller, who uncovered her problem and helped Debbie understand it: that she had accepted as the absolute truth the views of her Aunt Clarice about men, including Bill. In addition, Debbie now understands what Bill really was to her - a loving husband whom she highly respected and wanted to grow old with.

In the last section of this Chapter Debbie has positive "visions" of Bill, his saying to her that he would never leave her - that he'd always be there for her. Maybe that is what Debbie met when she said 'Bill would look at her and he would know' - that she had changed, that she (again) loved and respected him as she had during the early years of their marriage.

Finally, the last statement in the chapter reads, "Then she was racing across the damp grass, kicking off her shoes in an instant, running as the hot tears of a young girl streamed down her cheeks." Here DQS writes 'as hot tears of a YOUNG GIRL streamed down her cheeks'. I think that DQS is referring to the fact that Debbie's thoughts, her visions were (again) those of the YOUNGER Debbie, the girl that Bill had married 20 years earlier.

It has never been about romance or love. It is about a pathetic little man who has always thought that a whore was above him. A dumb ass who can't form a thought when he sees a set of tits, any tits. A man who fucks a friends wife, and thinks he is in love with her too. Debbie has always been a shitty person, a shitty girlfriend, a shitty wife and a shitty mother. She has a well deserved reputation. If I read correctly she had been fucking the black man for years. In the year 1985 and in the state of Florida she would have been called a nigger loving whore. She only added to that reputation. Mr. Bills mother learned of that reputation rather quickly didn't she? She had the lowlife trash banned from his room. She also warned him that the trash would be his downfall. Mr. Bill couldn't see passed her tits. Debbie was and is a user and a manipulator. She always knew that she could get what she wanted with a flash of her tits or a piece of pussy. She liked fucking them all, she said that. No half assed head doctor is ever going to fix Debbie, she has never cared about anyone but herself. She HAS NOT changed. Some people seem to think this is romantic, it's not, it's just pathetic. Someone said that the writer was changing the story to fit his agenda and he is. It was never stated before that she tried to get Mr. Bill to go to the gym or improve himself. It is a device to make him look bad and to make her look better. As Harry always says.... the recon train is pulling into the station.

The example of the best of DQS's, and, off the records, probably the best of most any American writers of the last 100 years, can be read in the last pages of this chapter. The very last section where Debbie has "visions" represents ex-ordinary, romantic text, in my view. Readers have reacted in different ways in their interpretations of the meaning of Debbie's "visions." I see them as representing a renewed Debbie, changed and freed from the hold that Aunt Clarice had on her as a result of the treatment she has received from Dr. Teller. She is no longer affected by what Aunt Clarice believed about men including Bill. Her ex has now replaced Aunt Clarice in Debbie's mind. Bill's view and what she remember of him from their early days as a married couple now controls her thinking. Recall that in the last couple of paragraphs of the story her visions were that Bill could not die; he said that he would always be there for me whatever happened. Bill has replaced Clarice. Love has replaced the anger Debbie had toward Bill. She has recently shown this in the numerous trips she takes to visit Bill at his office: this a habit she displayed when she often visiting Bill at his room at the University of Florida in 1985 in order to be with him. I don't think it's mainly Bill's now being good physical shape or that he can now attract women as beautiful as Debbie herself.

Bill deserves whatever happened to him, and I wish Shawn Smith took his best shot, maybe he will end Bill's long story.

This is my favorite cuckold story now. Thanx and many creampie.

I wish there was another category "Cuckold" so that i dont have read all the loving wive stories to find one like this, which is my fav, tense-cuck-old story, you are my no 2 after Matt Moreau, keep doing and you will be best, you still need some skills to express true cuckold.

I have to confess I quit reading a chapter ago, I simply lost interest. However, a friend of mine said you have to read the latest. It is crunch time. Maybe so, maybe not. However I'm very surprised no one has commented on the last several paragraphs. <P>

I don't pretend to understand it all, however I think it is some outstanding writing. Very powerful to say the least. Evidently by Bill's own words he is shot and his last thoughts are of Debbie and better times (Does that remind you somewhat of”The Last Goodbye"?) <P>

One sentence that blew me away: "She knew he would look at her and he'd KNOW." <P>

Think about it and all the conflict that is running through her mind in all the subsequent sentences. <P>

Well played my friend,

JennyBear

After reading this it is clear that Mr. Bill deserves everything that has happened to him. He knowingly married the campus whore. And yes, she was a whore, she used her body for gain. It did not matter what race the dick was attached to. Her reputation on campus would have been lower than whale shit. And Mr. Bill still thought a skank was too good for him? It was sad when we found out that he had not removed his wedding ring months after the divorce. It is even sadder that he thinks her looks and tits are what she is made of. The stupid bastard still gets a hard-on when she is around, and he thinks that means he is getting over her? I am surprised that he can walk and think at the same time. This is the same as the other stories from this author up to this point. I don't know where it is going, but the characters are getting more stupid by the page. What we know about Mr. Bill now goes against him being a success at what he does. You can't be that successful and that stupid at the same time. Next Debbie will hold a gun to his head and tell him he has to marry her again. Mr. Bill should have stayed in his dorm room and slammed a door closed on his dick repeatedly, maybe that would have given him some common sense.

.................Debbie being fucked by a black guy and DQS1, didn't fail to do that. Debbie was, is, will always be the slut, whore spreading her legs for big cocks, no matter who the owner is. The whole story of their college days were nothing but waste of time, what was the point? we know how much of a cock hungry Debbie is. Nothing new, just few bits were interesting.

I don't understand why you are taking so much flack from this posting. I work in the public arena and I can tell you without hesitation that there are truly people as fucked up as Bill and Debbie and still marry, have children, divorce and go on with their lives. Love is an odd thing and does cause guys like Bill to marry sluts like Debbie. Of course that's a two way street. You hear every day about couples getting married and the guy can't keep it in his pants, but all you ever hear is, "Well, he's a guy, and guys are suppose to be horny." With that said, I thought the story was well crafted. I'm glad to finally see some background on the two from times when they met. Every author hear does it, but most start a story with an opening paragraph, and then launch in to a long winded explanation on how they met. At least you let us get in to the story and get to know the characters first. On top of that you wove it in to the story well. Bits and pieces just like real reflections, instead of all at once. I personally liked that. I'm disappointed in HDK. Yes in allot of cases you main characters should be bigger than life, but it doesn't work in this case. I like the fact that they are just ordinary people, living ordinary lives, with ordinary jobs, and average kids, and finding them selves in the same boat as ordinary folks. You just keep up the good work and keep progressing the story in your own way and time frame, and I'll remain a happy camper.

he should have hypnotized Debbie and made her his sex slave. he could have fucked her anyway he wanted.

Why are people bashing her for messing with basketball guy when they were not going out and not bashing him for getting some on the boat?

I also noticed that she has felt that she was in the right to cheat little remorse.

I don't like debbie she was supose to fight for the marriage. some where in the story a person said she should have done everything in her power to get through the thick skull of his like fuck him then drag his ass to the gym. beeing married as long as they were she should know men are thick headed and it takes a while for us to get it we don't get hints period get over it. when women think they tell us something we don't hear it if it is not plainly said.

Second Question what would bill have done if she told him she wanted a divorce?

what would he have done I bet he would have heard her then and I bet to keep his family in tact he would have quit his job, and the best thing she would have been right and even his mother would have been on her side and the kids would still be home with there mother and the father would have had a lot to explain. Now all of you who have defended her action tell me that I am wrong to think this way

6B For several months the head lines were about "Eleven police held in the murder of a Public Defender"

Austin Eawards stands in front of the judge saying

"Your Honor and members of the jury, I will prove that these eleven men were in the plot to kill Bill Maitland, that they planed the meeting and also let Smith know so he would come and kill Mr. Maitland. Maybe only one or two of them did it, Phil Howser and one other but because of their Blue code of silance they must all be charged in the murder."

The jury comes back in after five hours, finding all eleven guilty, "Ten years to life to all!"

Head lines "Fob Preisdent Phil Howser and Lt. Martin, were found this morning dead, their heads cut off and on their table with a note "NINE TO GO!"

Debbie never marries.

I absolutely love this story!!! Keep up the good work, cant wait for the next segment!

....... To a rapidly posted new installment of this series. I like what you do from a readers standpoint. I'll let you do the writing, I'll just enjoy the reading.

Please continue your efforts and know that they are appreciated around the world...

i luv the story but hate the pace at which it is written......

at this rate we'll grow upto be old men by the time DQS finishes the series....

I continue to enjoy this saga. Loved the Calvin Coolidge reference. Brilliant. Fun flashback, which allowed me to feel like a naughty voyeur. Again/Also brilliant.

That you are an undeniable writing talent whose skill is in creating soaps. This baby just keeps circling the landing field, but, unfortunately,the spirals are increasing in altitute, away from any plausable good landing. Looks like this baby is just going to run out of gas and crash. Although, it does seem to carry more gas than most planes.

Part of the fun of this is getting people to respond to your writing.

For that I think you are a success.

The dead zone between Debbie and Bill reminds me of the line in, "From here to Eternity", where the wife says to her husband," I look at you and see row after row of chairs".

She's just got to the tipping point and doesn't feel anything for him. Then promptly goes off and cheats with Burt.( to para phrase). IF Debbie doesn't have a reason to cheat, then my friends, there is no reason for a story.

Seeing as we have a story then let DQS tell it.

Gary Cooper wont work. TOO TALL

Doug is Romone's son, it was their conspiracy against Bill. Now Bill is dead so Doug will contact Debbie and they will marry each other. While on honeymoon Doug will bilndfold Debbie and Romone will fuck her shit out of her mouth with his Dinosaur cock. Debbie will know the thruth later and then they both will fuck her shit out from her eyes, nose, mouth, ears, asshole, and her hugh breasts.

Debbie will become their baby making machine; she will rise the population of jacksonville. Doug and Romone will become successful businessmen, they will have milk diary. Their cow, Debbie will always be pregnant and producing milk, soon they will get hugh orders from all over the world. Mother Debbie Diary will be world's biggest milk porducing diary. You read it first here, place your orders quickly.

Debbie is a hot broad that knows she looks good, likes attention and sex...and...a variety of partners. Blame her Aunt - sure, but she still likes it. As far as Bill is concerned, she is jealous and envious because he worked out, looks good, all the girls want him and he had a fling with a beautiful woman. Debbie is done, unless Bill is a Wimp?

Bill, he's bewildered, good at his job, probably covering his feelings of betrayal but very definitely in love with Aline and she with him, the only good thing that has happened to him.

All this extraneous filler and sub plots is nothing more than your ego insulting your readers to stroke your ego. Okay, so you're stringing everyone along and taking weeks to quench the thirst of those who follow you like a puppy dog. Having fun?

If this is your Hollywood movie script - send it there; otherwise, cut the crap and finish this excuse for a Loving Wife Story! Enough already - you've pushed it too far!

OK, it waivers here and there, but all in all a good story. I check weekly for updates and that must mean something. Never thought they stood a chance, but I see a Bill and Debbie reunion in the future and that is OK. Sometimes true love withstands a lot of tests.

Keep up the good work!

DQS,

I thought all was going to be explainable in the end, but Debbie, even though she is intelligent, has had the morals of an alley cat since the beginning. At this stage in her life, she may understand herself better, but her actions show that she wants what she wants. She wants to be a slut and it really does not bother her. Her social outlook is all about casual sex, and nothing gets in the way of her attitude towards her loose interpretation of marriage vows, or the ease with which she picks new liasons, since she is now divorced. Her new guy, Clint, is thankful that she likes to fuck when she is depressed, when she feels good, and when she feels like it. Wait, that pretty much means that she just likes to fuck. He is more than willing to stroke her ego and prey on her misgivings as long as she shows up at any time of the night or day to get right down to it. Dr. Teller realizes that he has a lifelong client, until such point that he decides to put his pipe to better use. She still has the attitude that if it feels good, do it. Being married only slightly inhibited her flirtations, and limited her casual sex to barely controlled indescretions. She is way past the point of being able to change her basic personality makeup.

Bill was socially repressed, but many social misfits still manage to get laid occasionally. I can't believe he really put up with her shit during the courtship and ended up marrying her. It's a wonder he was as successful as he was professionally, saddled with a known fuck-around who was spotted more with others than with her own husband, and had no qualms about acting inappropriately or flaunting her openly lax moral fiber. I'm sure that his superiors would not have put much faith in someone who so blatantly couldn't handle his homelife, with handling an important legal and political position. Apparently none of Bill's so called friends and acquaintences had enough respect for Bill to let him know what was going on, and as obvious as Debbies actions were, how did Bill attain such a prestigious position? This is a mind boggling revelation and certainly does not fit with his apparent station and supposed esteem within the community.

Sorry, this chapter makes absolutely no sense.

I believe that Dr. Teller's meetings with Debbie have paid off for her. She is now becoming free of the control her late Aunt Clarice had over her. Clarice had considered Bill just another cheating husband similar to her husband, Frank. At the time Debbie accepted Clarice's opinions without question.

We see in the extraordinary well written final (short) section of chapter 6A that it finally becomes much more apparent that Debbie does love Bill. Consider that just as in 1985 Flashback scenes, she's now making a fair number of visits to see Bill's on non-legal matters. In this final section of the chapter she hurries to the FOP Hall on Atlantic Blvd fearing for Bill's life. After the first shot was heard (I would assume there may have been additional shots fired) she imagines Bill in his coffin, she kisses him in the coffin and believes he is dead. But then Debbie reasons that he cannot be dead given that he told her (several times) that he'd always be back, like in the World War 2 song about a soldier writing to his wife or sweetheart that no matter what happened he would always come back, always be there for her). A romantic thought by someone who has been telling everyone for months that she no longer loved Bill.

Who got shot (if anyone) in the FOP Hall is something we should know when we start reading Chapter 6B. Perhaps Bill and Shane Smith were hit: Bill by Officer Smith and Smith by one of the other 11 or 12 police at the evening meeting (everyone in the hall carried a pistol). The public media reaction to this event could change the political picture in a more positive way for Attorney General Edwards in his bid for the Governorship of Florida. It could also significantly affect Bill's life.

has any noticed 35-27-37-37.... this is the amount of time in days that it takes this writer to submit another part of his story. his submissions take this long--some writer. i go to the last page and see if it is the end and if it isn't i delete his story. it is always the same thing. nothing new. he sure needs some help.........

I keep thinking that you should consider a new career. You would be a huge success as a political speech writer. You have the ability to write a long time and yet say very little.

I enjoy the story but the characters don't seem to hold onto what is important to them.

Bill is the "do the right thing" person who risks his well being for a stranger (Debbie) and then has an affair with a friends wife. That is not a "do the right thing" sort of action. What happened to change him? Then the "do the right thing" man is going to try Smith because it is the right thing?

Debbie is difficult to understand because from the start she sleeps with several people and parties with people that would seem to have a criminal background. I find that the character that we see as Debbie is not believable as the love interest for the State's top attorney. How are we to believe that a "do the right thing" person would find the character of Debbie as a suitable mate? She is a self centered narcissistic slut that seems only capable of hurting her friends and lovers.

I believe that someone who is as "smart" and deliberate as the character of Bill would see right though someone as shallow as Debbie and in real life would never have married her. I guess that is why we call it fiction.

When will he pay for the mistake of screwing around with a married woman?

Or was he just punishing her husband for another man's sins?

Sorry, the character is not sympathetic to me. I actually enjoyed reading this chapter because he is suffering through most of it; I just hope things get worse for him. Sad that I feel that way, really, but hypocrites always do.

I just re-read the beginning of the story. The night Bill discovers her shaved pussy and hears "when we were married" was in April 2005. That was written in May 2010. The story is now in September 2005! This story has taken 8 months to cover 4! It had been so long, I'd forgotten how directly she lied to him and blamed everything he was thinking to unfounded paranoia.

The new information about their college courtship is even weirder. She has massive tits. Treats him like a pet. Kisses him like a brother - like he's her gay buddy. I can't see how they ever progressed to be married and a healthy happy couple. He was her safe meal ticket and she was his walking wet dream. Not much of a relationship.

Jerry in Washington state, USA - I look forward to each chapter because I care about Bill and his life / love / work / family challenges. I didn't foresee this ending to the Officer Smith dilemma, and - of course - I don't know exactly how the next chapter is going to complete the "Officer Smith conflict" scene. I assume one of the police officers from outside the building was able to shoot Smith before Bill is shot. Or, even if Bill is still shot, he'll recover from the shooting. I'm still not that interested in Debbie's "excuses for her own actions". I did read this chapter twice to try to be fair about "her story" but I just don't care. I very much look forward to the next chapter and see what happens next. I very much enjoy your story even if I don't totally agree with some of the scenes you have written.

In rereading chapter 6A I gained a significantly greater appreciation of the chapter then from my first reading alone. From the reread I got the strong impression that Debbie does, at least at this point, love her ex. This was somewhat apparent in the previous chapter, but now Debbie is repeating in a sense what happened when she and Bill were students at the University of Florida at Gainesville. Recall that in 1985 Debbie kept going to Bill's room to take him out for a meal or a movie, or simply talking with him in his room. Now, she is doing a similar thing by keeping tabs on Bill AND visiting his office often for matters unrelated to her work with the Public Defender's Office.

The last, very short, section of chapter 6A concerns Debbie's having driven to the Police's Hall because she feared for his life. Maybe this action was influences partly by her having witnessed Bill with his beautiful girlfriend Aline: perhaps Debbie wants to see how Bill reacts to her after his affair with Aline.

Bill heard the first shot which as HDK states (probably) indicates he was not hit by it. But there could have been many shots fired all told given that there were 12 or 13 cops besides Bill in the meeting hall. There may even have been a massacre in which several cops including Shane Smith and/or Bill were killed or seriously injured.

But I suggest a second read of the last 2-3 pages of chapter 6A dealing with the meeting in the hall and Debbie's presence out front of the Police's Hall: before and when the first shot was fired and all hell broke loose.

Thank You.....Great Story

Once again, another chapter in a captivating story. Definative characters, compeling plot, and a twnoone anticipates. Please don't make us wait another whole month before the next chapter. Incidentally, this would make a very good, commercially successful novel. I look forward to each new chapter, and reread the previous ones to stay updated. Thank you, Mr. Steele

So the "cliffhanger" is not really all of that "cliffhangerish" (HDK's word). If parts of Bill are now scattered across the floor of the F.O.P. headquarters, there is just not enough about Debbie to like for there to be any kind of a story left . If Bill is dead, the story is dead.

Assuming that Bill survives, it seems to me that DQS1 still has a lot of work to do to keep this story chugging along at about 150 to 200 comments a month/chapter. If after this "cliffhanger", the story falls back into the very familiar mode; where Bill and Debbie continue dance around each other and their history together, where we follow each of their separate personal relationships and escapades, where Bill tackles new and interesting cases involving any number of assorted "evil doers" and where Dr. Teller and Clint Abbot continue to re-enforce in Debbie's mind the conduct that made her the selfish, lonely and unlikeable person that she is, then IMHO, Jacksonville we have a problem.

Hopefully, this "cliffhanger" will change things up a bit and push the story along toward some sort of an enjoyable and entertaining conclusion. Even Tolkien finally ended "The Lord of the Rings" after three books, although it did take him several ages in Middle Earth time to do so. Well, maybe that wasn't a good comparison.

DQS1 is a pretty good author though and that is no joke. This story has been long and it has been great! But I wonder if it should last an age? Maybe it is time for DQS1 to start a new adventure.

I’m not an apologist for Debbie and from earlier chapters I never thought I would be able to take her side on ANYTHING. However, some people who say she was a cheating slut back in college should read the flashbacks again, and this is why the flashbacks are an integral and very important part of their story.

After she met Bill and before she realized what was really happening to her, she went to bed with some other guys. When she DID realize what was happening, she stayed away from other guys. She told Bill she was faithful to Ramone until HE cheated on HER. Harry, I understand your point of view but I don’t believe she did fuck Ramone at that party of CC’s - I believe she did twist his nuts to dissuade him. Also, if they were meant to be a couple despite not ‘dating’ dating, remember Bill cheated on HER with Amy first, before she went out with that Owen guy. At the time she must have been in despair of ever getting together with Bill. Apart from that and despite Amy’s flawed verbal ‘evidence’ to the contrary (are we really going to believe the jealous slut who reveled in Debbie’s pain at seeing Bill in someone else’s arms, and who gave him the clap to boot?), Debbie was faithful to whoever she was in a relationship with; when she wasn’t in a relationship with someone, sure she screwed around, just like thousands of other young women, and men (including, as we see), Bill. When Bill and her got together, she was faithful to him for two years of courtship and fourteen years of marriage. Sure, she fantasized about other men, as Bill (self admittedly) did about some other women.

Her sins came about for that period of four years toward the end of her marriage, and there she was definitely wrong, a bitch, a slut, whatever you want to call her, culminating with Doug. No excuses can be found for her behavior then.

What sets her apart from being just a cheating slut is the mental torture she went through after Clarice’s death - she was still wrong for what she did, nothing can excuse that, but she was mentally just a tad unbalanced during all this, as her unjustified anger towards Bills attests.

Now, under Teller’s guidance, she is beginning to realize just how wrongly she acted. When she finally allows full reality to take root, that’s what I meant when I said in an earlier post, her rehabilitation may be complete. That doesn’t mean they’ll get back together but it means that, at least, they can be open, caring adults around each other and their children.

Now, the very last part of this chapter - one of the most powerful and spellbinding bits of brilliance I’ve ever read. It sounds awfully like her epiphany to me. She’s spent much time in analysis and self-analysis, denying things but, when she hears the gunfire she can no longer keep IT back. Whatever IT is precisely, we’ll have to wait and see - or some people, NOT - their choice.

To sustain writing of this quality over such a long time is wonderful. Thank you.

I still believe in the characters, still want to know how their story pans-out. Debbie is now becoming a properly fleshed-out character too, as Bill always has been.

Please keep it up. I don't care whether it is two days or two months between posts - jusr grateful to be able to read such quality writing for free.

Thanks again.

Well... some people on here need to get over themselves. If you don't like the series, stop reading it. Bitching about how often he posts is kind of silly too... he doesn't owe us anything... if we paid for regular content, then you could complain.

With that out of the way, I have to say that DQS is a great writer. Especially with dialogue... not like, Jim Butcher good with dialogue but head and shoulders above 90% of what I see even in publish novels, much less what I see on this site.

BUT... I have to admit that this is the first DQS story I've read where I skipped over parts. All those flashbacks about Debbie were just painful. I agree with someone who said the more he reads about her the more he dislikes her. She seems to have almost no redeeming qualities. I don't fault Maitland for falling for her and remaining fucked in the head because of her... I know plenty of smart guys (myself included) who are dumb as a hammer when it comes to women. But spending time with her in the story is a lot like spending time with people I can't stand to be around in real life. :P

...But this chapter seemed to undermine them. It pretty much showed that the heroes were miserable dumb people not worth our time or interest to know what the hell would happen to them.

I would do that if I was writing a story and got bored and wanted my audience to go away.

Is that what this skilled authur is trying to do?

Only one little glitch -- she wiped the back of her mouth with her hand, or something to that effect -- should have said that she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand (to get the cum off it). Other than that, very, very well-written. I've not read all the comments and perhaps others have said what I'm saying. I do agree with HDK that Bill should have known from her college days that Debbie would turn out the way she turned out (just like, "Once a cheater, always a cheater"). The cliffhanger at the end was a well-done bit of cruelty to get back at the fans for demanding that chapters appear a lot more quickly than once a month. Looking forward to the next one. 5 stars.

THIS IS AS BAD AS PLAYING FALL OUT NEW VEGAS WITH ALL THE BAD ENDINGS HAPPENING!! But really good to see some of the past history, which i think is what the Doc is going to bring up in the near future, which i can only hope as you labeled this chapter 6A, or am i wrong... Anyways Awesome as always, and hope to see you next chapter in a few weeks! Even if it is longer it was well worth it!

I get why she might want to get back together:

Her life is turning to crap

She suddenly sees her husband as other people do; powerful, smart, brave and handsomer then he ever was before.

She's getting a sense of how awful she was and she feels guilty

She feels the breath of mortality on her breasts

So, why would HE go back to her?

She's still the same bitch she was.

She cut his heart out and did what? Certainly not apologize

She admitted to mulitple adulteries (Sorry, jacking a guy off, even sans skin contact is adultery)

He still isn't the guy that makes her breath catch in her throat.

Is pity sex even from a hot chick worth it? Every time he puts his organ in her, her words about size, quality and passion will haunt him.

Just..wow.

...for reader satisfaction - certainly for this reader's satisfaction.

Aline’s email hints that she may have been coerced, maybe auto-coerced simply by her conscience or love for her son, into that joint letter. The wording was formal and rather emotionless - I’m sure she would have far more feeling for Bill, and there may be a future communication which reveals her deep unhappiness and inner conflict about having to leave him - or not! You made Aline intriguing and, as we hardy LW followers know, reconciliation does not necessarily indicate permanence and you are more than capable of resurrecting something if that is where the story goes.

However, the story has taken a very interesting turn. In this chapter you have tied up some loose ends, or rather loose starts, which explain much of their life story together. The reasons behind her tumultuous early life, as well as her later behaviors, are at least halfway to being stripped bare. I remember someone, Abbot or Teller I forget which, saying she was really quite a lonely person. Each paragraph of her thoughts reveals her more as a human being who made bad choices under unusual mental pressures rather than her being truly bad. When Debbie finally realizes for herself why she was so angry at Bill for so long her rehabilitation may be complete. For the first time ever I rather like the ‘new’ Debbie, even if they don’t become a couple again.

I liked the way you portrayed her with Bill in their pre-courtship days, just hanging around, happy...ish, albeit with a certain amount of tension as she waited for him to make a move, while he thought she was out of his league. Then the emotional explosion which finally brought them together. You also revealed much more of her innate intelligence, playfulness and a kind of shyness. This is in welcome contrast to her previously perceived persona as just a slutty, blonde nymphomaniac. You gave us one more reason, perhaps the most important one, for Bill’s insecurities. Because of the circumstances under which they finally became a couple, Bill probably accepted on one level that she, not he, was really in charge of their relationship.

I thought you did a very good job of tying up their ‘friendship’ start with their moment of real connection, in the same chapter that they both exhibited some serious (and now better informed) introspection about themselves, their past and where they are today.

The Shawn Smith drama was nicely, slowly built. I’m not sure it’s the most believable sub-plot, a cop going after a prosecutor, but you have shown him losing his fiancee (maybe ‘the one’) and slowly unravelling under great stress, so it works. Both Debbie and Bill’s thoughts and actions prior to the confrontation were very powerfully presented and allied to the escalation very skillfully. Those sequences were, for me, some of the best you’ve done. I was on the edge of my seat reading it!

This chapter moves something on, at least in Bill and Debbie’s mindsets and that’s the true purpose of this - their story.

Very well done - I look forward to 6B.

that I can enjoy DQS's amazing story: I have to forget about it between installments, rather than cursing and stamping my feet in impatience.

Then when a new chapter turns up, I read it with total absorption and great pleasure. Is some of it far-fetched? In my opinion, absolutely! But it's beautifully written and very involving and I have a great time.

I thought the flashback sections to when Debbie and Bill first met one another were very powerful, though I have to say that it's hard to believe a woman as confident as she was wouldn't simply have grabbed Bill's hand and dragged him into bed. Shy, she was not!

While I don't really think that Debbie's character hangs together as a totality, what matters more for me is just that the story has hooked me. As long as I don't get caught up in wondering when the HELL the thing will finish, I can keep on enjoying it....

Thanks,

ohio

I'm not sure if this is the end or not. If Bill is dead, then so is the story. Bill and Debbie's past should have come earlier in the narrative. It would have cleared up a few things. However this is well written and thought out. I do hope there will be a next chapter. Here's hoping it will not take weeks for it to appear..

Since Bill is telling this story he must live, and Debie was interviewed after the shots so she lived.

Thanks for the story, I'm enjoying it!

Liked how this one went back to the college life, so Bill always knew his wife was a slut but yet he is surprised when she has an affair? They will reconcile, Bill knows who she is and accepts her and she loves him because he sees her for more than a pretty face and a fast fuck. Waiting for the next chapter eagerly

I hope we dont have 6 weeks to see who got shot... Damn serial movie cliffhangers!

Mr. Do-the-right-thing uses illegal drugs in college? For the common guy this would not seem to out of place, but for Bill it seems wrong.

Bill's code and getting high just does not mesh.

In general I like the story but that was something that just didn't seem to fit.

This chapter seemed to try to put more blame on Bill - she begged him to go to the gym and gave BJ's as a reward? Where was that in the earlier chapters?

While I expected reconciliation in this story, I'm not liking Debbie's character much better. Bill has been the passive one who lets her walk into his life and call the shots. Debbie has been seducing men since she was 13. So she claims that she has sex with her basketball buddy because of her sexual frustration. If she wanted Bill, she knows how to push his buttons. He fucked her slut friend with little effort. She is a slut and is offended when he makes her see herself. She hangs out with CC and his sleazy life, and expects Bill not to associate her with her friends? She blows guys in the parking lot.

Why would Bill the monastic student think that they could have a healthy relationship? This chapter showed she was a good student. We have been told that she was a good mother, although the kids have run away ASAP. Debbie has feelings for Bill but still can't stop from hurting him. She has not grown from the experience nor has he. He is still letting others control his emotions. He is only in control in the courtroom.

No evidence that he is a better father either.

Thanks for writing but how about fewer plot lines and more character development?

I am inspired.

I am anxiously looking forward to the next chapter.

I am beginning to think a comparison to Leo Tolstoy might be more appropriate. It is till a Five, but you are wearing us down. When you took Aline out of the picture, you left us with a bunch of characters who just don't seem to have any redeeming values. Also, I think Officer Smith committed suicide and I agree with the Gary Cooper observation.

Having read each chapter from the beginning, I want a conclusion like so many others. But I would like as happy an ending as possible for Bill. Great series, great story, superbly written. Thanks for the pleasure.

Tower: You're losing altitude, you're approaching the red zone. C'mon Q, you've done all you can - it's over, punch out.

DSQ: Negative tower, I've got control again. I can get this old crate back. Once I was able to let go of that ridiculously implausible Aline/Phillipe story arc the flight characteristics smoothed out immediately. I can do this.

Tower: Roger that, you've levelled out but you came dangerously close to crashing. Damn it Q I'm too old for that shit.

DSQ: You big pussy.

Tower: Always with the size thing Q.

I haven't read any other comments but people who where going crazy before about the speed of chapters must be shitting themselves NOW!While I would love for chapters to come quicker - I am willing (not happy) to see what DQS1 will give us in his own words and own time. Hell of a read so far. Well worth time to read and really enjoyed it. Nice plot twists DQS1 keeps throwing in there!!!

Just PLEASE don't stop writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you

My thoughts: the flashback was worthwhile, though I think it should have come earlier in your saga. It helps the reader understand Bill’s persona better and how under that tough-guy exterior is one messed up dude when it comes to personal relationships. His mother wanted to spare him from her? Please, spare me! He needs to get back into counseling to figure out his own problems with personal relationships. No, Bill is not dead. To paraphrase Vietvet, “No Bill, end story.”

With that said, I still thoroughly enjoy your great story. I like the great side-bar threads, which add tension and diversion to the romance (Yes, this is a romance story). Finally, I like the great old-fashion cliff-hanger ending. Now, I get to hate the wait for your next installment.

Thank you as always. Keep on writing.

Hi - it's me again.

Since posting the page count, I've had a couple of you E-mail me asking for a word count as well. According to MS Word 2007, the word count so far is 287,404. This is counting the title and chapter/part headings.

haven't understood how it's been established that she is an intelligent cunt? she uses her tits and pussy for teasing and fucking indiscriminately, signs of intelligence!! Sadly, the daughter is turning out to be a slut like her mother.

Bill knew about the cock crazy cunt and still married her, where is his intelligence? presumably in his prick. Now it's payback for his stupidity. If he has any self-respect he should excise the cancer and hope for survival. She doesn't love him anyway. Let's forget the history, there is enough grief in the present.

If Bill gets killed, STORY OVER.

You know it, we know it, and we all look forward to your published work -- or, perhaps "posted work"

How good? 80 comments after being posted only a few hours.

Keep on readin' and writin' -- you can leave the 'rithmatic to some one else.

Love the story and the character development. It is what sets this story apart. Observation: The speech Bill gave the cops about how their wives would understand that their first duty was to their jobs/fellow cops pretty much mirrors Bill's earlier life with Debbie. Hmmmm. Constructive criicism: As we have reached the penultimate moment in the story, or at least "A" penultimate moment, it might be a good time to bring all the threads together for a climax and resolution. Anyway, thank you for your hard work. We all enjoy it and, while I'm anxious to see how it all comes out, I will also be sad to see it end.

When it ends.

IF it ends.

Too many open items for Bill to Die now.....

I liked you comments: Upon entering the Hall Debbie exclaims "Holy shit he shot and killed Bill, let me call Clint and see if he has time to sooth my nerves for the rest of the night."

I have modified it:

"Holy shit, why that son of a bitch bill has to die tonight? I was feeling so fucking horny, I wanted to fuck everything with a dick. My black dress is not even ready and my make up, GOD! that mother fucker really ruined my plan and my life. It's so painful; itch in my slut pussy."

A question; Clint was a visiting professor? What the fuck is that mother fucker piece of horse shit still doing in Florida? yeah, scratching Debbie's pussy?

I`ve been a anonymous reader of literotica for over 10 years. I can see this story(series) being played out in a movie. Keep it going. Its so...so....good. Much more than just sex. Its characters that you fall in love with....and hate....just like any good movie should be. Thanks for letting us read the fruits of your writing labor. And to all of the haters...get over yourself..its just a STORY.

Finally - we get another chapter in the saga of Bill and Debbie. I was beginning to wonder if DQS1 had given up and gone bye-bye.

If anyone is interested, this story so far spans 563 pages in Microsoft word (8.5x11, 1" borders, 11point Times New Roman font). That's the size of a pretty large novel. And, considering the progression of the plot line since page 1, this is a damn slow moving yarn by anybody's standard. Hell, it's almost real time! While I still read it, I no longer excitedly look for it every day - both because it's getting to drag on - and on - and on, and second, because he takes so damn long to submit another chapter.

I sure do long for the days when he'd write a decent length, really great story every couple weeks or so. Man, those were the days.

Liked all previous chapters. Hated this end do not like cliff hangers as there is too long a time between chapters.

OK if next chapter in a few days time, not weeks as seems to be ususl.

HuwR

Australia

Truly excellent stuff. I don't like Debbie but you've made me understand her. And, I reluctantly appreciate the old "cliffhanger" ending to this chapter--just don't do it too often-it makes my heart hurt.

And if Debbie manages to rehabilitate herself, please don't make Maitland demean himself by getting back together with her.

I just don't know what Bill ever expected from a slut like Debbie. He knew what she was before he married her, and was surprised when she just showed her true colors. His own mother warned him several times that she would hurt him and she did.

I wonder what Debbie will think of herself when she is in her mid sixties, with her tits hanging down to her belly button and her ass as big as a Mack truck.

Lets face it; she now thinks with her pussy most of the time, but the old clock is running and she won't keep her good looks and sexy body for ever.

It was a real crappy place to end the chapter

I think I'm more confused now than before reading this chapter to where the story is going.

You could have him play Bill in the movie. You know, I like my good guys to be good guys. And I like the bad guys to be bad.

The prose is very good. Solid, polished and smoothly running from one point to another. Your writing is one excellent quality DQS2. There is no denying talent! :)

So why now are you having to resort to "tricks". The flashback scene was totally unnecessary. The cliffhanger. Bill ain't dead. If he is, the story in over. If he is not, why the cliffhanging? The whole magilla of Bill getting healed and walking into the FOP meeting with Debbie outside reminded me too much of cheap melodrama. It was cool the first time out with the Coop in High Noon, but now, it plays very gimmicky.

The whole Bill seeing Debbie, Debbie seeing Bill, la-de-da, total melodrama. And it tries my patience.

The whole FOP standoff, while great for the story was complete bullshit. I was a cop in Cleveland, my son-in-law is a cop, 2 brothers of mine were cops, and cops are no different than anyone else. They will do what is best for them. All lies are eventually uncovered and they would know that at some point the truth would come out. And they would be in jail, their pensions, medical, mortgages whatever, history. But, if Smith gives himself up, then they have to deal with the dirty cop witch hunt. But, if smith dies, well, he was dirty cope, we dealt with it. The best scenario for everyone is Smith buys the farm right there. so, when Smith told them to drop their guns, someone would have told him, no, and asked if he was really ready to kill, conservatively, a half dozen other cops.

I have to say, again, the writing is super, but this is too long, too much time between installments, and you are now reacing for plot devices. Time to end it.

Regards,

C

I'm not a fan of the flashbacks, especially this far into the story. The flashbacks reek of some impending lame RetCon trick.

The flash back to how Bill and Debbie fell in love is deeply repuslive. As HDK said the entire romance and courting is fucking outrageous and bizzare.

Bill and debbie are 2 different people. Bill sees it and knows it... and sees How Debbie is far more into fucking LOTS of other men than he ..Blll.. is into fucking lots of other women.

Her story about NOT fucking Ramon when they were on the boat was crap. Yet he believed it. WHY? Because is a wimp and loser and he is desperate to fuck Debbie.

Then she tells this story about waiting for 3 months and not having any sex... which given her sex drive is not remotely believeable.

Their marriage and relationship is built on a LIE. The hero stopped debbie from a gang bang she wanted. Since that Point Debbie has KNOWN for years that Bill is soooo pathetically weak that he will do anything just to see her left tit for 2 seconds.

A full effin' month?! What the hell were you thinking?!

Unless you're dead or dying, there's no reason not to post another installment.

Anyways, liked this installment, minus the flashbacks.

First, I hate the little "mini recaps" at the start of the chapters. They're not long enough to introduce new readers, and they're not reminder enough to carry over readers from the last segment. If you're going to do those things, please think hard about what purpose they serve, and then work on making them serve that purpose.

Second, Bill. He's like Thomas Covenant, just a whining little self-centered prick. "Oh, I got married to this hot babe, and then blew her off and stopped hanging around my wife and kids, but how dare she give up on our dead marriage and ask for a divorce! Oh, and I never do anything myself, the deus ex machina just hands things to me whenever a tough case appears."

The story is fairly well written, the characters are almost believable - just enough larger than life. But I swear, every time he gets threatened by some bad guy or another, I'm cheering for the bad guy. Please, please, please kill that worthless miserable loser. He's spent however many years ignoring his family, they'll only be sad for a year or so. And God knows he's spent twenty chapters alienating the readers. We'll be ecstatic for a couple of hours.

Die, you mealy-mouthed whiner, die!

When this started Debbie was a bored wife that fucked around on her good husband, got caught and divorced.

Now we learn shes been a self centered bitch back in college, a cheating tease during marriage, and afterward a nymphomaniac.

I once hoped for them to get back together. Now I want her to be the one to die in this cliffhanger. She's poison to Bill and she selfishly keeps at him. The birch needs to just die and go away so this good guy can have a slim chance at happiness.

Sorry, but I've been giving you 5 stars up to this one, which only gets a three because frankly your milking it too much. Stop adding new threads, assholes who are fucking Debbie, and threats who plan on killing bill and his family. It's just getting too much like a soap opera.

Move the story along with a real direction and stop all the fluff and you'll earn back those two missing stars.

Still entertaining, still a wonderful story. Press on.

Don't you dare make us wait over a month for the next chapter.....lol. Awesome story.

Finally another piece of the great saga of Bill Maitland. Seriously, I love it!

However, I do not think that you did your epic much help in feeding us the long flashback to Debbie's college days. A little, yes; but not a full chapter. We already knew what kind of a person she was. Thanks for a great read.

You've done such a good job making Debbie Bascomb despicable that it was not even enjoyable reading her seduction of, and subsequent dating, Bill. Despite excellent writing skills and decent eroticism, it was difficult to read.

While I am not averse to cliffhangers (usually), I am afraid with your track record, for long periods between postings, regarding WWWM it's actually offensive. This is as bad as Stephen King with 'The Gunslinger' chronicles. And, I understand, he received death threats over that!

Present day (2005) storyline is good. College dating timeline hurt.

Given you tendency towards reconciliation, please read Mandy01's story 'Lemon to Lemonade'. Because of Debbie's abhorent behavior, there (IMO) must be penance before reconciliation. Not just some therapy, from a psychiatrist whose behavior seems questionable at best. That may just be the Catholic in me though.

Thank you again for a fantastic story.

Debbie"s feelings toward Bill, and Bill's toward Debbie are changing, heading back to what they had been like about 10 years earlier. Debbie has found (1) that Bill is appealing to other attractive women (e.g., Aline), (2) that Bill is indeed every bit the leading prosecuting attorney that people say:: namely, one that can be relied on to consistently make correct legal decisions, and (3) that with Dr. Teller's help, Debbie now has good insight into her reaction to her Aunt Clarice's hatred of men, including the negative opinions Debbie has had of Bill.

Now with the meeting at the FOP Hall there is the possibility that Bill has been shot by Officer Shawn Smith. At this point, the story could go in a number of different directions. Was Bill shot and, if so, mildly, seriously or fatally? This may be only a story, but to me it's real. There seems to be a renewed romance developing between the two. But will this be cut short? Chapter 6A has balance and gives us a window to the early relationship between the two at the University of Florida. Additionally, it gives us information of the upcoming courtroom activity surrounding the trial of Officer Smith in which Bill is the lead prosecuting attorney.

DQS: your story is as good now as it was at any other earlier stage. However, you definitely need a dedicated editor to correct sentence structure, spelling, etc. Thank you for your extraordinary story. It probably could be made into a successful movie.

This was a good read. There are lots of threads going on and they are all pretty interesting. I have only one significant criticism and that is Debbie's development. Debbie seems to be both a bimbo and a very smart woman. She is not portrayed as an intelligent person who loves sex. One minute she seems almost brainless, then very smart. The "psychology" is trying to reconcile the two but as far as I'm concerned hasn't been very successful. You have the personalities of two different and incompatible women.

Debbie will walk in to the FOP lodge and scream at Shawn, who will then turn around and shot Debbie. Then the other 11 cops will shot both Shawn and Bill, claiming that they shot each other. But we will have to put up with all the BS in between Ch6 and Ch 187.

Sometimes I hate the direction you are going, then the next installment comes out and I love it. This is wasted on Literotica. You need to publish your writings. I can't wait to see the next submission.

Best chapter yet. Thank you for one of the best stories ever.

And I didn't see one spelling mistake! I'm glad that this was such a great chapter. As I read all the comments, I wonder what avenue you'll take this story down. I can't wait.

As far as the Nazi Lit editor who rejected your submission, remember that person is only trying to dominate writers. They usually have no talent or the imagination to create. They can only exert their dominance by pulling other people's work down to their level.

One of my submissions was rejected this year because I forgot to close the quote on one character's utterance. It took more work to reject the story, than it would have taken to

The readers on this site have no idea what happens to authors just trying to put their work in front of readers.

Keep up the great work and don't let the little minded people pull you down to their level. You have a great readership and isn't that what we all strive for? (Well 52 weeks at the top of the NY Times Best Seller list wouldn't be too bad either......)

Mendom (oops look at that, I spelled my name wrong. I'll probably get this comment rejected)

I agree with HDK - these characters are sliding down down down. Earlier chapters were superb, but this one is just a downer.

so it's all bills fault she cheated gotcha, i honestly don't understand why you don't just sum it up in 1 chapter, she's a slut, she fucks around, she comes back, he's grateful. Really what kind of person are you basing him on, no man is going to willingly take what she did and just be like it's ok, even to hang out with her after at his workplace no less. And then you put this cliffie which was so predictable in and now somehow he's gonna see she loved him all along. Well i guess her being a whore is his fault i see it now, not her whoring but his love. Thanks for making me stop reading this series.

For me, your best chapter yet!

Whilst I'd like chapters more frequently, I appreciate it takes time to create and refine work such as this.

Thank-you.

Emm Sea

PS Does anybody know if there's a way to filter out anonymous comments? Most of them are gratitious self-serving crap, and I begrudge even having to spend a few seconds skipping over them. I'd rather they didn't even appear!

Do you also write under the name Jack Straw?

To the person who wrote that he or she didn't get it. Dude it's not always the destination, sometimes it's the journey. Like you wrote there are only so many things that can happen in this type of story, that means the true art in writing this kind of story is how you set up and arrive at that ending, and whether or not you actually entertain and interest your audience. DQS is a past master at this, so many of the people who both read and write here recognize the quality of his efforts and just flat out like this story and these characters. If you think it's that easy why not write one yourself. Any way DQS this was yet another excellent chapter, although I find myself liking Debbie less with each installment, the journey continues to intrigue me, and unlike the person I was just speaking to, I don't care how long it takes. Great job as usual!!

Wonder if Bill will have had enough, and leave the prosecuter's office. He had no real support when it counted. No loving, devoted wife and family. Perhaps it's time to move on and leave the memories of his slut ex-wife behind.

Why am I not surprised that many of the negative and impatient comments are from anonymous sources? We should look at their literary submissions and compare them to DQS ... but wait ... we don't know if they have any! They're anonymous! Of course judging by the spelling and grammar in their comments it is fairly obvious they are probably not authors.

You are creating an excellent "novel" and deserve the proper accolades for your literary efforts! I realize that not everyone is going to like a story no matter how well it is crafted but they can quit reading. I also realize that some are injured by life and can only see characters such as Debbie as the "cheating slut that hurt me... " rather than a developing and important part of the story.

I am amazed at the development of this story! The depth that the flashbacks give the reader is great. I often judge a story by my beginning to think I know the characters and your story's characters are becoming "real" people. The threads of your story are interwoven and slowly giving the reader special knowledge, understanding and what is becoming three-dimensional characterizations.

Thank you for sharing your talent. Those who are impatient should try to maintain a job, a life and author a story. Perhaps they would find that the time between chapters is not what is important; rather the quality of what is written is what matters.

I check for a new chapter daily and consider the days one appears as special. I wish I had your talent!

Having Bill turn around and present his back is a good way to draw Shawn's fire away from his head and to his torso. I liked that touch. I'll be pissed if you let Bill walk into a trap without a bulletproof vest, he is not that stupid of a prosecuter.

I don't get it. I'm new here, and every time I check the top lists, or every time I read comments half of the writers here praise this story as if it was....I don't know. To me it's just long. There are lots of writers here whose stories are just as good, but haven't been stretched out for what 2 years? Come on there really aren't very many things that can happen here. Either they get back together or they don't. Can we have a fucking ending already.

should read "soothe". My bad.

Could you please give us a cliffhanger for an ending? On pins and needles for the next chapter. Five Stars...

he shot and killed Bill, let me call Clint and see if he has time to sooth my nerves for the rest of the night."

You continue to amaze me in the management of the plot lines. Bravo!

Now hurry up with the next installment. I hate hanging by my nails for too long.

So, after reading the first page I almost quit.. GOD is it ever going to end, MORE melodramatic bullshit cases on the horizon it's pathetic, in form of a mexican drug cartel.. Also, I have to ask you DQS, was this your attempt to make Debbie into a more likeable person? Hardi-fucking-harr. Worst. Joke. Ever. You show us she was just as much of a shallow slut in college as she is now, the party at CC's place pretty much proved it, so how exactly are we supposed to like her more now? She was completely selfish and shallow and she still is. I still remember how SHE treated HIM, I know you want to paint their divorce as Bill's fault, but I, and I think quite a few others, still remember what she wrote in those e-mails and how she truly thinks of him... "Guys! You think we walk around with tape measures and if you're a quarter inch shorter than another guy we're going to throw you back. If it wasn't so stupid, it would be funny." - but isn't that just what she did? I mean, 'she could hardly feel him' and 'she only got any pleasure from her 12" dildo', she wrote something like that in her e-mails and she has told Bill several times, that she ment everything she said in those e-mails even now, when anger doesn't cloud her mind, she still told him to his face, that those e-mails were the truth... She's truly a horrible, horrible person and seeing her as a college student STILL hasn't told us why Bill would ever be married to her, so now, can Bill PLEASE move on already?..

80% mind numbingly boring drivel & 20% genius, intelligent writing. That's my opinion of this chapter & more & more this entire series. You go back & show us Bill & Debbie 20 years ago but you don't tell us anything we didn't already know. She was (& still is) a completely self-centered slut & he's smart enough to be a lawyer but still completely as dense as a block of wood with no self respect or self esteem. The whole flashback thing was a complete waste of time & space. It did nothing to advance the story or tell us anything you hadn't already told us before or shown us some new side to either one of these characters. OK, actually it made me lose even more respect for both of them & it seemed like a really obvious foreshadowing for the eventual reconciliation scene.

Cut the flashbacks out & the redemption of Debbie's character scene at the Doc's & we've got maybe one page of good stuff. The cliffhanger's actually good & might keep me reading the next installment but the seven pages preceding it was making me wonder why I was wasting me time on this pointless, mindless drivel.