All Comments on 'When You Know, You Know'

Great story!

5

This was a true love story. I enjoyed reading it and I will admit, I did laugh and cry at a few times.

Excellent work as always.

5 Stars.

And made it one of my favorites.

Awesome story

Amazing

Please do not apologize for the story being too long. It was perfect. Darn well written, and it kept a smile on my face throughout the entire reading. I will now go back and read the other stories you have written. Hope they are as good as this one.

I have no idea what all the baseball terms are, but loved the story.

This was a nice romance. I would suggest that you place some angst in your stories where the couple has trouble and overcomes it. This story had no conflict. The formula is "boy meets girl, boy loses girl and boy then gets girl back". I would also suggest you drop the dialect or whatever you may call using "Ya" and "ain't". It is trues that people speak that way, but using it in dialogue lessens the story's flow. This was a nice baseball/romance story.

I really love it.

Wow. It was a beautiful ride.

The only negative was the lack of difficulty, at least that's how I felt.

- He loses his dream, stops his career and he goes through it without depression, without doubt, without negative resentment.

- the romance, too, is beautiful, but unhindered, without pitfalls, without difficulty.

There are so many ways to dramatize the story:

Ex returns is the easiest and most obvious.....

The resumption of a career in baseball or coaching at a university, female students or groupies, increased travel .....

The arrival of a new doctor who canvasses nurses' homes.....

I'd love to read more about this couple and see what you have planned for them.

Awesome story, great love story. Thanks for such an enjoyable experience!!

Great story and very well written. Characters were credible and dialogue worked well.

Two comments - like other readers, the lack of any drama made the story less gripping. We were never in doubt of the ending from very early on and nothing really got in their way. Nice, sweet, but...

As someone who know absolutely nothing about baseball, I wonder if the very technical parts of the sport could have been edited down without detracting from the tension in the games.

I really enjoyed the story and thank you for it

A nit pick, but at the beginning of the story, you mention that he had 5 post season at-bats and was batting .230. That is impossible. With 5 at-bats, the only possible averages are .000, .200, .400, .600, .800. and 1.000

This was a fun read, you always knew what was going to happen, so it wasn't the drama that hooks you, it's the characters. You really captured small town life in the Midwest nicely. Well done!

Awesome story. Love the characters in it but I have to disagree on one point. While JT was a damn good catcher, there’s a certain Molina brother here in STL that was better.

What the hell kind of ending is that???? We need the families' reactions, a wedding, kids, more baseball and him taking over when the coach who went to the doctor and found out he has cancer. I mean, WTH? Other than too much baseball, great story from beginning to end. 4.9*

Absolutely hate all the drinking (I don't drink) and the country music (I'm a rocker) but still loved the story. 5*

Like many stories, there is a repeated emphasis on the physical beauty of the woman. It would be nice to have a story where little or no attention is paid to beauty, but a lot of attention is paid to the character, personality, and accomplishments of the woman. Otherwise a good read.

I’ll join hang1022 with a nitpick. At the first practice, coach says that there is a double-header the next day. However, THE starting pitcher would throw fewer practice pitches. Wouldn’t there be two starting pitchers for a double-header?

“I had a cooler in the back with a case of PBR, a case of Corona, and a bottle of Tito's and a bottle Jack I'd grabbed from the house, as well as a few cans of assorted mixers.“ Is he preparing for Tegan (or himself) to die of alcohol poisoning? Somehow, I think a 6-pack of each beer would probably suffice. Plus, it would have to be a really big cooler to handle two cases of beer.

Geeze people its a great story of fiction. All u nipickers why dont u try wriring a story like this n this many words ? Thought u did a great job it was enjoyed n appreciated. Thanks for ur time n hard work

For the “big picture,” I agree with HDK, it was all so rosy that it started to get old. I did find it a bit strange that for the first party with Tegan’s family, James wasn’t invited. The writing was, at best, only okay. For one thing, you need to learn to use the apostrophe for possessives. The story was just filled with all sorts of minor errors, so a careful re-reading or an editor would help.

Nicely done, and it's definitely got the authentic Michigan flavor with euchre at the bar and up north being only an hour and a half away.

An 8 lb large mouth bass? Jesus lord, would that be fun!!

Despite some negative comments, I think those who roam around in Romance category, like me, occasionally need a sappy, everyone's happy story. 5*

@drycreeks

Do you read a lot of published fiction? Would you rank this story among the greats in fiction? Do you really think that the story is so well written that it can’t be improved? Do you think that the author is so talented that his writing cannot be improved? How is your pat on the back to the author helping him hone his craft? The story was filled with errors, so shouldn’t the author learn from his mistakes and seek to improve? If he has any pride, he should certainly aspire to be a better writer.

I just finished reading your story "when you know, you know", enjoyed it, good story. a few points not to tear you down but to encourage you in your future writings. the biggest critique is over-using 'he laughed' after numerous sayings. the other things are also minor, you really need either an editor or very good proof-reader as there were numerous mistakes most of the nit-pik variety but not all of them. also have to agree with what a few others have already pointed out in that while you alluded to some real life situations (primarily things that happened at his work) there really was no adversity that could have really enhanced the story as the 2 of them encountered and ultimately over-came those situations to draw them even closer. all in all, a really good story, good read. appreciate you taking the time and making the effort to not only write but also to share with us.

I guess the author is American and like lots of American writers forgets that people outside of America might read their story. I nearly hit the back button on the first page as I don't talk Rounders and I have no idea what all the abbreviations mean, you might as well written in Latin, Klingon or Martian for all the sense it made. Other than that an okay story but a lot of spelling mistakes and wrong syntax.

It was a nice story. There were no challenges to the couple to strengthen/test the relationship, Second, you need an editor for the grammar.

The answer is yes. I truly enjoyed reading your story. Thank you for writing it.

I enjoyed most parts of the story and it takes time to get really good at writing and i think you are on your way . So pay no attention to the ones that are negative . You are a better writer than I am so when do we find out about the wedding .

Great 5⭐️ story ,,, keep it up,,, and thanks for not putting anything in it to cause friction between them like either one of them cheating since it was true love from the start

A very sweet story. Maybe too sweet. I think I have toothed decay.

Like the story. Using the vernacular “ya” here and there was distracting and added nothing. His speaking to young ball players using “ain't” made him sound like a hick, and sounded like he was being patronizing. She was a high school valedictorian, and a RN so her vocabulary would be richer and probably less use of slang.

Boomerbill

This story is a breath of fresh air. I was captivated all the way through, even thought there was no conflict. As a guy, Teegan seems like the perfect woman, and one that most of us wish we had. It’s a nice fairy tale, but the feel good factor made up for anything that might have been in excess. 5/5

Thank you for this wonderful story.

What a wonderful story !!

Two fine folks meet. Fall in love. Get married. Perfect story to complete my day. 5*.