All Comments on 'Whisper'

An engineer wouldn't be this stupid. Assuming, Jumping to conclusions, over the top irrational decisions. And going to MIT...just like that...MIT. RIGHT.

The story could have ended just before and been stronger for it. This seemed a contrivance that just didn't work.

Other than that it worked for me.

Kick the bitch to the curb then piss on her. Subconscious or conscious, our desires are a part of us and determine what we do and the choices we make. Sooner or later the subconscious becomes action and then the hurt just goes on and on. Cut your losses and march your ass away from that future.

the good guy gets screwed again, just like real life. at this point in the story, he already knows that all his kids will be Larry's, so he may as well end it, by having someone drive her off a cliff or something, taking the kids to one of the grand parents till he finished grad school. as pretty as she was on the outside, she was just as ugly on the inside.

it rarely gets better. the relationship was founded on lies. everything from that first decision at her home with her father, the deception regarding Two, and all the delayed plans that never happened, came to a head with the gossip and whispers. it had been building the entire time they were together.

if this is the hopeful ending, I am not going to search for the other, this one is depressing enough.

and, I am sorry, but the whole pheromone explanation didn't work for me.

a DNA check would solve one question, and a divorce would let you finish the career you really wanted.

Who won the championship baseball tournament ? ? ?

LoL.....bill

Cut the story characters some slack.

These comments are harsh.

Great story.

she mentioned the guys name after all thats happened he was on her brain, so what.

guys have not at times been thinking of a different girl while having sex and may have misspoke a name?

divorced people or widow/winders do it at times.

really paranoid get a dna test but geesh these comments are rough.

great writing as usual.

Starting out, Larry Miller was a nice plot device. Sure a guy can be smooth and have a great line. He can brag and make up lies about his success. But he's a fat, one nut wonder now and Payton knows he's a louse. Yet he "magically" entrances her. Sure, you have written a few "mystical" stories but those clearly were in a different world and can be accepted at face value. This one is very reality grounded until this magic ability to entice women. It was crap.

Then you get to Will's astonishing lack of self confidence. Frankly, you don't reach the level of business success that he supposedly has if you are so unsure of yourself. He hears whispers and he runs away. It's not believable. Then you add in the stupidity of never bothering to actually find out what is happening.

As to Payton calling out Larry's name, if you buy into the mystical mumbo jumbo this isn't surprising. But it doesn't stand up in the real world. Payton never felt pleasure with Larry. She says so herself. The idea of being with Larry was tantalizing but he was lousy at sex. But when it happens, Will once again runs away and pouts.

Overall, the story was disappointing.

Sort of ....

Larry whispered doesn't makw sense.

U were fine til the end. Stupid ending

Can't believe I never read this one. Loved it as always a great story. I need to go over all your past stories. I thought I read all of them. Thanks again for sharing your talent.

Deserves what the whore dumps on him

has about the same amount of brains God gave a gnat.

Talk about making mountains out of molehills. Still five stars.

I love your description of Peyton with the trumpet fanfare! I secretly loved a Red haired girl in school and I reckon I heard the fanfare! Oh well memories! Story is a bit out there, But you got to love the Fanfare Please publish more? Love you all! Bye. Greg. Oh 9 stars = 90 %. Bye.

before you realize the worlds fair is yours. TK U MLJ LV NV

Jeezz SS06 you missed the boat with this tale, don't think this was up to your normal standards. Both parents were really dumb as two shits & while it may happen I certainly don't know of any woman who's ever had that kind of reaction to any male like Peyton did to Larry; are you sure this isn't fantasy. 2 **

Hated the ending...

Did Matt M. ghost write this?? Wasted my time and taught me once a cuckold always a cuckold!

To ruin a story! ""Well my subconscious got a judge to give me a court order forcing you to move back into the house until your baby...your next baby is born," I said."

Utter Bullshit, no judge would sign that trash and no LEO would enforce it. If Peyton's subconscious wants to fuck Larry then let the slut go!

Go ahead Girly-Men tell me it's OK to hear your wife call some scumbags name while you're making love to her. Sounds like a Cuckold fantasy to me and that makes me want to puke.

ss06 again proves his close study of Matt Moreau's stories are guiding him to cuckold town.

Your BtB fans should be proud of you. I actually loved this right to end, where you couldn't resist the urge to ruin it.

This well is thought out and really well written. I feel ambivalent about the ending. I mean the very end. But anything less than a 5 is nonsense. I've read some of the negative statements and they all boil down to way the story ended. The story has legs. Hell, I'm not personally happy with the ending myself, but my personal feeling are certainly is not a factor based in the overall delivery of this story. 5 stars!

I think it's telling how many times she calls him "dummy", "stupid", "idiot", etc. Obviously a lack of respect for her husband, so who knows if this stupid girl has been with Larry again or not? Better check the DNA on this kid, just to be sure. Calling Larry's name in bed is ginormously bad juju. Men would never forgiven if we were to slip up on something like that, but it's okay for her? Just a simple mistake? And I thought the story got really silly when she supposedly started unbuttoning her blouse when Larry commanded her to do it. That's just stupid, how weak minded is this woman? If there's any ass-kissin that needs to take place - it's needs to be Peyton kissing Will's ass - for the next 6 months or so. She'd have to get on her knees and beg me. Seriously. And that name calling would never happen again, you can bet your ass on that. Bitch.

and it is. I liked the story. I would say that he is reading too much into what happened, but I don't think so. Is the story fucked up because of it, I don't think so, at least by the comments. People not familiar with legal documents would be hard pressed to distinguish what is correct and what is not in the system. That's one reason why I liked the story. It shows how different people do things their way, to get what they want. The truth is, she loved him, and he loved her. Did her whisper cause undue hardship, you betcha. Dealing with it is going to be tough. Countless times in this story it was documented that Larry had a way, pheromones or something that worked on females, but saying his name during makeup sex, wow. good story.

Will is insecure, and it's sad that his insecurity is a bigger threat to his marriage than baby-brained Peyton's slip of the tongue or even Larry Miller. Prior commenters said that the court order could never be enforced; this misses the point: It didn't have to be, Will wanted to move back in. It was a flimsy pretext and that's all that was needed.

Also worth noting that the thing that snapped Peyton out of her Larry reverie was hearing that someone was trying to seduce Will at the same time. She buttoned up her shirt and put a stop to it.

I read the other version, and the unhappy ending feels forced, artificial, tacked on. It would have been more convincing at the end of Peyton had told Will all things things she would do to prove she loves him, not just the stuff he was going to do for her in her pregnancy.

This one sort of reminds me of JPB's Frank and Tanya, except Frank was much more secure in his relationship than Will was.

pathetic cuckold faggot stayed with the cheating whore .

disgusting .

hope she gives him super-aids .

hope the author does in a fire

3rd read I think, but been awhile. A DNA test will answer some, but not all his questions. Is he a cuckold or faggot, or any other name you want to call him, no. He is a man in love with a stupid woman. Most readers would concede that a woman can twist you up inside quicker than shit, whether that's their intention or not, and could care less. I believe she loves her husband, and that she is carrying his baby. His only choices are, either stay with her or leave, and we know what he decided. Now he has to live with it, and that wont be easy. It's ok she doesn't care.

Like many I disliked the ending. Unsatisfying as they come.

Somehow that small point between an ending left open and one that makes you think.

She started unbuttoning her blouse in the hospital? What're you retarded? I actually liked the inopportune slip of saying Larry, this whole story was a great exercise in misunderstandings, and one last fucked up wrench in the works was kind of a cool ambiguous ending.

But a fat girdle wearing guy being a complete piece of shit and slurring his words through his busted face, and she starts unbuttoning her blouse. Don't know why you had to make him supernatural for no reason.

Have read a fair amount of your stories. There is something about your style that is distinctive but that is not to say good. Or bad for that matter. I do know that for me I can only take so much of what you write and then can't read you for a while and that has something to do with your style tho I can't quite put my finger on it. I read thru your list of published stories and you are if nothing else prolific. I did notice that the last story you published here was in 2016 so I don't know if you're dead or alive so there's not much point in my being critical. I have had similar feelings if not experiences as your protagonist but I suspect many others have too. Reading your commentors posts it seems to be sea sawing back and forth as to whether this is a bad or good story. For me it was just a typical SS6 tale that made me uncomfortable.. Because of comments I have never read a Matt Moreau story. Apparently he has a distinctive style style too. Maybe it is because of the sameness of style that makes the stories perhaps different but predictable.

I don't know where to look to find an alternate ending. I don't know if I did it would change my opinion. In ways predictability is good because it's comfortable to read something the reader finds in this stability. IDK. I guess on the whole you're a 4 * writer and that certainly isn't a bad thing.

If somebody could or would give me a heads up as to where to find the alternate ending I'd appreciate it.

He should realize it was just a stupid slip of the tongue and let it go. I think she’s invested enough into the marriage to give her the benefit of the doubt. Once. But then, trust....but verify. All in all, a very good story with a somewhat unsatisfactory ending.

Larry should have an STD, what a fucking asshole. Probably Peyton as well.

Only a matter of time before she tries something and he ends up heartbrokened. Not your best work. Good premise, unsatisfying conclusion. No one else in the story is likeable save our hero.

1/5.

L.

I thought I was reading an old script from Three's Company, the 70's TV series were the old roommates Janet and Chrissy would talk about something, Jack would overhear parts of it then come to the wrong conclusion. He then spend the next 30 minutes trying to figure it all out. Just finish the damn story.

Yes. You are welcome for the free medical diagnosis.

Your protaganists are always top notch engineers. Make tons of money.

But have the social IQ of a bag of rocks.

This guy is especially lacking. His entire life seems to be based on social miscues.

Stupid beyond belief. Which makes him an unrealistic character. Can someone be that stupid? Yes if we accept the Aspergers diagnosis - high functioning autistics who can't decipher social cues. Think Sheldon on "the big bang".

Now I don't have an excuse for the dumb wife. Show of hands please. Anybody thing a wife telling her husband she is pregnant would use the line "it's my body and I can do what I want"? Yeah that's a warm and fuzzy moment right there. Or a lazy plot attempt to keep the unspoken mistakes alive.

The version without the tacked-on good ending was far superior. It showed a perfect storm, where you had an insecure husband who had spent a week 100% convinced that his wife was cheating on him, and the wife was on the very cusp of fixing everything, only to shatter the husband with a single mistaken word.

The "I'm going to deceive you into believing you're legally required to come home" ending is nonsensical. No judge is going to just sign mumbo-jumbo, and he *has* an attorney of his own, who is absolutely going to inform the husband of what the order means even if the husband doesn't ask.

More than that, it cheapens the impact of the preceding scene. It's like doing a huge twist at the end of the movie, and then immediately going "Ha, only kidding!" What's the point?

I mean, the original version gave me the reaction of "Fuck... these people don't deserve this fate, but it's realistic and I don't honestly know how they'd get past it. Let me muse for a moment on how sad this is, and whether it's possible for me to imagine they ever get the happy ending they deserve."

This version gave me the reaction of "These people are idiots. I don't want to spend any more time thinking about people this dumb."

StoriesOnline (SOL .net) has a slightly different version of Whisper. Search for author StangStar06 on that site.

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I've been fighting the divorce for more than a year now. Neither, Will or I are even close to the people we once were. He's still a great father. He comes and picks the kids up every weekend.

He still takes Two to every practice and makes every game. My daughter Willow adores her father. He comes over some evenings just to hold her and play with her. Will doesn't know how to do a divorce. He didn't hide any money or withdraw it from our accounts. He still has his check deposited into the account and every time I ask him about anything I want to buy, he just says that's what money is for.

Several men around town have begun sniffing around me and I refuse to even speak to them. I know it's going to take time but I'll get will back or die trying. After all we've been through there's no way I'd let a whisper cost me my marriage.

This story has come very close to mirroring real life. Mine! Will is a truly nice guy, but really insecure (Me). Beautiful women will do that to a guy. We think that there is no way they could want good old average me, but women are different and they focus on things in men that we will never comprehend. That's what always keeps us off balance. Great story.

Just give us a proper fucking ending!

But a shitty ending! Why screw it up?

The "fuck me Larry" was a bad twist that ruined the story and made no sense. It wasn't as if Larry was present, the pheremones for him weren't active and going by the rest of the story she wouldn't have been thinking about him.

I was really liking the story for quite a while.

Well executed on the Kathy dump. Nicely done.

And on dumping his bitch sister.

If every marriage ended because of one slip of the tongue...

Trust but verify and get the fuck over it.

After her calling out Larry's name in bed, you pretty much shit all over the story, rendering the entire thing worthless

The last comment about the Larry thing ruined it but it was a definite Jerry Springer story

@StangStar06 Finish the story.

Really great story, but needs an ending. Please finish

The End

And this guy is supposed to be a high flying top notch engineer ??

I'm surprised that he can walk and chew gum at the same time

He makes George W, Bush look intelligent..

This is about as far out in left field as it gets! It was difficult to read when he's so screwed up, jumps to conclusions and doesn't bother to get the facts!

....And I know a couple of guys that you could say were like Miller but I don't know ANY women that would act like she did just being around him! TOO FAR FT]ETCHED AND JUST TOO RIDICULOUS!

Hated actually.

Will is a dumb ass and deserves all the pain he brings upon himself.

Or maybe he has Asperger's....brilliant engineer. Social IQ of a rock.

But I don't care. He was a lousy protagonist.

My first ever SS06 bad story. Sniff, sniff.....

everyone in this story was dumb as a bag of rocks.

And sometimes not. You write very interesting stories about people who are so smart but so stupid in one part of their lives, which is just like most of us. I used to sometimes hear very intelligent, perhaps even geniuses in their fields at a large pharmaceutical company I did work for talk about things a home. But they hadn't the faintest idea how to unclog a drain, change a faucet washer or a diaper. Which brings me back to this story and Google since now I'm off to read the other version. Just read the other version and it appears to be the same except for the very end, and it does have an end of sorts. But hey it's SS06 and I like his stories good or not quite so good, I'm just jealous he has the talent to try. Signed: BTW

I went with it but it ended flat :0(

What you should do is say "Fuck me, Kathy" just as Peyton's about to cum.

That ought to give her a double dose of the hurts, and slap the little princess back to the real world.

Well, you did ask.

the Larry whisper. Why would you destroy a story like this? Granted, your characters were very shallow and overly flawed, almost clownish, but overall the story was good until you decided to trash it. It's like you said a giant FU to the readers as your own personal joke. Because of the ending................... 2 stars.

Like some others said call out Kathy's name when you have sex. Also from now on call her Kathy. And suggest you name the new baby girl Kathy.

Then in later years when the kids keep saying why do you call mom and me Kathy? Tell her about mommy's true lover Larry.

Stang, this has to be the whiniest bitch you have ever concocted.

How did he ever get his wife pregnant if he has no balls?

Doc

Can't live with them

When this child is born it's DNA time.

The fuck me Larry whisper makes no sense, especially at that moment. She'd just gotten Will back after all the other bullshit that happened, all revolving around Larry. No one would make that mistake in that moment, no one is that damn dumb.

I would stay with her...but keep her on a tight leash!!!

Keep her.

But what shits me to tears is the Larry call out towards the end. Makes no sense and is a clumsy plot device to ramp things up at the end. Really stupid thing to do. It served only to derail the story and ruin the end.

Better luck next story SS06.

I do agree with the whole Larry whisper at the end. Really did derail it, other than that I found it to be quite a good story.

Wow, a character got an actual Martian Slut Ray. Interesting. But seriously, Larry was clumsily handled throughout, ended up being a useless character even as a bogeyman. Will being the typical idiot protagonist was pretty fun, and was a relief to have a wife in a Stang story who wasn't fit to be institutionalised.

Really dissapointing ending for the great 'SS6'. Seriously one of my favorite authors here.

You usually end your stories in style. Not sure why you decided to piss in Will's Cherrios at the end after he (Will) get's little respect and love the entire story. I guess it was 'kick the good guy day' for you.

Love your writing this story Needs a part two SS06 …..

Well damn.the ending totally destroyed the story.dump her ass.

Gave it 5***** for the writing and the story until the end. Why spoil a nice romantic story this way? And no pheromones wouldn't cause this sort of reaction.

I scored it a 3*. Why? It was a great cliff hanger love story that ended in ways so stupid it's beyond words. Re-write please.

2 points.

1) Peyton calling out Larry's name after all that buildup about loving only Will is not consistent.

2) No way in hell is a judge going to order one partner in a marriage to live with the other. It's not even literotica-plausible, and that's a low standard.

JUST ANOTHER MAUDLIN MELODRAMA...

AW, RICKY, AW, LUCY!

ZEROZEROZERO!!!!

It's the female ego, get told a guy is no good and even see it but think they are that special that the guy will change their ways for them

Will would have a lot less stressed life of he would let people finish what they're saying rather than cutting them off and assuming he knows what they were going to say.

Her saying Larry's name in the middle of sex ... Definitely good reason to be upset. After he calmed down, he acknowledged that he knew Peyton didn't sleep with the guy.. yet he's going to divorce her over it? Seriously needs therapy for his inferiority complex

I agree with a rewrite mentioned earlier.

Peyton calling out for Larry to fuck her in the middle of being with Will was deranged and incredibly damaging after everything that loser put them both through.

Pheromones my ass.

It occurs to me that when ss06 either writes great stories or complete garbage. This is the latter. It doesn't even make sense. Pheromones. Christ. I swear, the abject misogyny to believe that all women are whores. That's the theme of these stories. Women can't be trusted because at some base level we just want to fuck whomever we want at any time. How sad is that? -starsong

Bullshit. Last second plot twists are bullshit, and this is a perfect example! It's like you just couldn't stand to have a good marriage in your story.

Very good story until the end. The ending just didn’t mash up with the rest of the story. Sorry… but I just don’t believe the pheromones would make her say that. She is soooo much in love and lust with her husband. AND, her own very powerful hormones (from being pregnant) would overrule anything else thrown at her. Sorry, again the ending just doesn’t jive. So a five star story down to a four because of this screwed up ending. Thanks

Ending was terrible, was a 5* story up until she said Larry's name. You didn't need the additional "twist". Also the man is an idiot to leave her for that reason. Should have just ended with a reconciliation instead of the twist and ambiguous ending.

Larry's a myth. No one has that. The name thing wasn't the best. D

I agree, the last plot twist... so not needed. And the previous misunderstanding before the plot twist was bad enough, because he did not use the simple process of "communication" with his own wife and just went off the deep end. The author seemed to want to give us all the finger and not let the story end happily. Oh well.

This Mc is the biggest idiot in all of Lit. This story is terrible. I started out randomly reading this author, and thought much was ok, but now I have finished a lot more, and this stuff just keeps getting worse and worse, just crap. I am not even reading in order of production, but still, I need to hurl.......

Enjoyed it until Payton said Larry, spoilt the whole story.

You had the beginning of an epic story until you rushed the ending. Deserves a proper ending.

Honestly, what a stupid ending, spoiled the whole thing.

No way they are able to get past it without serious therapy. No one just whispers that from their subconscious. That's not how active minds work. She had to of been imagining larry and that is a big problem

The long walk through the early years were obnoxiously long and full of unnecessary blather. I stopped reading.

I agree that having her say Larry ruined the story.

A very good story until the moment she said Larry's name. It went down hill after that. It's so stupid.

And the part where she started unbuttoning her shirt for Larry. I just felt disgusted.

What you are saying is that Larry is the god of women and no woman can resist him. So, all spouses should divorce their wives because they might sleep with Larry.

Why couldn't you stop the story when they got back together

My ex said her last boyfriends name while we were having Sex .. Talk about killing the mood for Sex that did it . I told her if She ever did it again I would call her by My ex girlfriends name .. My Ex Hated her so the next time she did it I just stopped and slept in the other bed room . She made a Gourmet Breakfast so I went to IHOP and ate some hotcakes with Milk . Then I worked went home and had Sex with her . Man She got Pissed when I called her Kay and said it was the best sex ever . Childish maybe but I had warned her . And I kept My word

You had a great story going and complete until ruining it by throwing in one more twist, having her call her long time husband by the name of her child's father.

Agree with others: calling out Larry's name was a case of "jumping the shark". Almost ruined a great story.

Damn, what a stupid mistake on your tale to switch into her calling the wrong guy, this only makes sense to me if you are preparing for a sequel that explain a twisted havility on this other guy psic

Yep fuck that shit and fuck Peyton as well

Both versions are kind of messed up in the end. What going on with that piece to f crap Larry, he's gotta get tossed into a wood chipper, SLOWLY!

Really awesome loving story ❤️❤️

Really pathetic and sick ending ♠️♠️

You really screwed up a heart warming love story that had reach out and touched us!

Then you ruined it with one word!

Sad, so very sad!!!!!

Poor SS06 has been reading too many JPB stories…and the worst ones. Sad that a writer with SS06’s potential turned out to be so pathetic.

I liked it a bunch. This is true to life. I fuck up all the time, just ask my wife. She does too. We forgive each other, love each other and move on. I don't know why people are treating the drama at the end like it's such a sick thing. She never fucked LM after the first time and she never will. She overcame. Welcome to humanity folks.

It wad good until the end. Also I really don't like these stories where a husband mishears a conversation then goes off the deep end without confronting the partner to confirm what was said.