Who I am in the Sun

Hey Readers,

This story shares the same universe as my other works, but can stand on its own. No particular content warnings here other than like, sex and mild alcohol use.

I hope you enjoy!

***

The clouds hung low over Chicago. Small drops of rain began falling around the Green Mill Jazz Club and Cocktail Lounge as Ivy stood outside against the wall, a cigarette between her fingers and her jacket hood pulled up over her head. The cool air bit at her fingers and toes, but she needed to wait just a little longer and smoke just a little bit more before she could go in.

The last thing she wanted was for some patron to mistake her condition as a tattoo and make a big scene when it moved.

She unzipped her jacket a little and took a quick glance down her shirt and at her chest. The small brown spot above her right breast had a small green leaf retracting into it, and in a few moments, after she finished her cigarette, she knew that the small seed would stay shut until sunrise, and she could enter into the club without concern.

She remembered the stories her parents would tell about when she was born. Doctors all around the city were unable to figure out what the brown spot was. They figured it was a birthmark, but it felt like a solid mass underneath the skin. They thought it could just be a birth defect, but were unable to remove it for reasons they couldn't really explain with their scientific knowledge. They had no way to know that when Ivy grew into an independent woman, it would begin to grow long strands of Ivy underneath her skin, like a seed for ever shifting body art.

Ever since the day the seed cracked open, she feared that her life could fall apart at any moment. She was just a normal woman working a normal job with normal people. The last thing she wanted was to lose it all because she was seen as a freak.

As time went on, she began to notice the various effects of her condition. When she was in the sun, she could feel her brain releasing dopamine and the vines of Ivy would grow and tangle around her skin, trying to soak up every drop of light. She found it hard to resist standing outside, but the deep sense of shame she felt over her plant-like growth kept her covered from head to toe in public, even in the summer.

On the other hand, she found that the nights would bring with them a strong sadness and depression, unable to find the drive to do anything but sulk and sleep. As the days shortened in winter, and the darkness consumed many of her waking hours, she started to get desperate. She took up smoking to try and ease the pain of her sorrows, and to her surprise, it held back the growth of the ivy. She began to go to parties and late night shows to try and alleviate the pain and loneliness that the dark brought. Eventually, her days were spent fueling her insatiable hunger for happiness in the night.

It wasn't the life she wanted, but it was all she felt she could do to escape her sadness and avoid being shunned for her strange condition.

She finished her cigarette and snuffed it out on the wall before flicking it toward a nearby trash can. The rain was picking up as she went inside.

The lights were dim and a small band played on stage while patrons got drinks, enjoyed their time with friends, and vibed with the music. She approached the bar and leaned against the polished dark wood, her hand raised to get the bartender's attention.

"Ivy, back again I see!" the man behind the bar said between orders at the other end. He scrawled on his notepad before putting it down behind him and coming her way to mix a drink. "Do you want a tequila sunrise, or something different this time?"

"I'll have the usual, thanks."

He gave her a wink and a quick thumbs up before returning to his drink mixing for those who ordered before her. She looked up at the clock. It was half an hour before eleven. Thirty minutes of being alone before she had her chance to see her again.

A jazz club was not normally a place she would consider a good time, and by no means was it under most circumstances, but this club had a special performance that she never wanted to miss. On Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays every week, a woman named Summer would come to play piano on stage. Her playing was unlike anything Ivy had seen before, not necessarily in skill, but in the raw emotion she conveyed through her art. It was like she was opening her heart up, one key at a time.

When Summer played on rainy days, she would end her half hour performance with a special song that she called "Who I am in the rain". It was slow and melancholic, as if the rain was what washed away the barriers she held in her heart.

It struck a chord deep within Ivy. It spoke to her protective instincts. She wanted to hold that precious and delicate heart in her hands and make sure it was never hurt again. At the same time, she felt like she could relate to Summer. She held the pain of hiding her condition so deep within her, blocked away from the world, and she wished she could express it somehow to someone.

After Summer finished playing, she would almost always stay for a bit longer and chat with patrons or sit down with her friends for a few drinks before she would go. The first couple times Ivy saw her perform, she caught her leaving under a woman's arm. Ivy was determined to talk to her one day, and see if she could be the one holding her under her arm.

"Tequila sunrise," the bartender announced, sliding the drink Ivy's way. She broke from her thoughts and looked up at his smile.

"So, what brings you here? I don't see you often, but you sure do make one hell of an impression," he said. Ivy was at a loss for words. Men usually got her lesbian vibe pretty quick, and didn't approach her. She didn't know if he was just nice or flirting.

"I'm guessing that's supposed to be a compliment?" she replied, taking her drink and turning to go to a table on her own.

"You come here to see Summer, right?" he asked. Ivy stopped and turned back to him. He was still smiling.

"Yeah, I do."

"She's pretty talented. If you get her a rum and coke, I bet she'll come talk to you after her show," he said, nonchalantly wiping down the counter.

"I'll... keep that in mind. Thanks," she replied, unsure of his intentions. Was he playing her wingman, or just looking to cause trouble? Knowing she wouldn't have to tell him off for flirting was at least some comfort.

Ivy took a seat near the corner, giving her a good view of the stage. Without a dance floor to get lost in, she preferred to play the part of the wall flower, hanging back and observing the life around her. She felt alone in the club, but she always came when it rained so Summer could remind her that she wasn't.

Halfway through her drink, the band on stage took their leave and the stage was left empty, except for the piano. Someone working the stage lights turned them all down except for the single spotlight on the side, where Summer emerged and walked her way to the piano. Her heels clicked with each step, and the club went silent. The light glimmered off her sparkling blue dress, and the length of it followed her in a wave of clear ocean water blue. She took her seat at the bench and began to play her first song. As she played, conversations began to start back up and the people came back from Summer's hypnotizing entrance.

Her fingers passed across the keys with grace and elegance. Her body swayed with the sound, her eyes gently closed as if her body knew exactly where to place her fingers to convey the emotion of each song. It was hard to tell what was improvised and what was planned. She would smile as her fingers danced around the keys in a beautiful chorus, and she would let out a deep breath while she let notes ring, long and distinct into the air. Every couple of minutes, her dark hair would fall closer to her face and she would elegantly brush it aside from her dark complexion when her hand was free.

Ivy couldn't take her eyes off her for the entire half hour that she played. Ivy noticed her gaze move toward her own once or twice, but she would always return to the music, unwilling to let Ivy distract her from her own beautiful performance. During the final song, Ivy could feel her heart unraveling with the music.

But as soon as it had started, it was over, and Summer gave a bow before exiting the stage for the next performance to start. The mood of the room slowly but surely shifted back to it's usual upbeat feel. Summer moved into the club and shook some hands of what Ivy could only assume were her friends. They smiled and exchanged words briefly before Summer got swept away into the rest of the patrons.

Ivy stood up and made her way back to the bar. The man there seemed to be expecting her.

"I feel like I love her performance more every time, don't you?" he asked, pulling out a glass.

"Yeah... I'll take you up on the rum and coke," she said, trying to play it cool. The worst case scenario? Ivy would just see Summer happily drinking with friends and then go home. No harm in trying as far as she could tell.

"I'll point her in your direction," he said, already starting to make the drink before she even turned to sit back down.

***

After a while of watching the people around her mingle, Ivy lost sight of Summer. Her sadness was catching up to her and her buzz was wearing off. She considered leaving and trying again next time, until her attention was caught by someone's approach.

"Mind if I sit with you?" Summer asked, a tequila sunrise in one hand and a rum and coke in the other. Her approach was sudden and surprising.

"Oh! Um- sure. I'm Ivy," she replied, her words failing her. She kicked herself inside for not playing it cool, but at least she was getting the chance to talk to her.

"My name is Summer," she said, setting the tequila sunrise in front of Ivy and the rum and coke in front of herself as she sat next to her. "I got you a drink. Charlie said it was your favorite."

"Does he share people's favorite drinks with strangers often?" Ivy asked. Summer laughed and shook her head.

"No, just when I ask him too."

Summer's smile was so bright, but Ivy could tell there was something behind it that she wouldn't share. It felt the same as when she played "Who I am in the Rain". Lonely and yearning for understanding.

"You two must be close then," Ivy commented. She realized that he may not have been playing her wingman, but Summer's wingman instead. Regardless of the specifics, she was still happy that he dabbled in their business..

"He just wants to look out for his younger sister, that's all." Summer replied, taking a drink of her rum and coke with ease. "But enough about him, I wanna talk to the cute girl who always comes to see me play on rainy days."

Ivy felt an embarrassed chill through her body. She thought she wasn't being too obvious, but she had clearly not been inconspicuous enough. Her face flushed and she looked away. Summer laughed and put her hand onto Ivy's.

"Sorry, I don't mean to embarrass you. Most people just don't pay such close attention to my music. So I wanted to... get to know you."

Ivy looked back. Summer's beautiful smile was still beaming at her, but her hazel nut eyes begged to let something out.

"I want to get to know you too, Summer. Sometimes, I feel like I already know some of you through your music," Ivy admitted before thinking her words through. Ivy was about to kick herself for not keeping her cool, but Summer's eyes softened in affection.

"Do you want to go for a little walk with me?" Summer asked. Ivy's heart beat faster and Summer's hand still rested affectionately on hers. Ivy could feel a strange connection between them, or maybe a mutual pull of attraction.

"Sure. Where to?"

***

After exiting the club, hand in hand, Summer led Ivy to a nearby cemetery. The gate was locked, but Summer hopped the fence without a second thought. Ivy followed the dark blue trails of Summer's dress through the rows of graves. The grass was wet and spongy from the day's rain, and the path glowed with the messy reflections of lights that hung on all the buildings around them.

On one hand, if Summer was going to murder her, this would be the place to do it. On the other hand, if Summer was going to get to know Ivy here, at least nobody but the dead could listen in. At least the dead don't judge.

"Have you ever been here? To the St. Boniface Cemetery?" Summer asked as she stopped on the path in front of a small Gazebo.

"No, I haven't," Ivy admitted. Summer led her into the pavilion and found a dry spot for them to sit. Behind the small, open building was a large oak tree.

"My family has lived in Chicago for a long time," she began. In the dark I could see her expression changing. "My grandfather was buried here well before I was born and had an oak tree transplanted here next to him. Since then, everyone in the immediate family has been buried here. Just a few years ago, my mother was buried here too. It was only a few months after I came out to her."

Ivy reached across and held her hand. She could only imagine the pain she must be feeling, but she was surprised to feel Summer's hand still and warm. Summer took Ivy's hand in hers, as if Ivy was the one who needed comfort.

"So now, on rainy nights, I'll play the song I wrote for my mom and I'll visit her grave. Since the catholic church kicked me out a while back, I'm not allowed into the cemetery during the day, but nobody bothers to run security when it rains at night. So this has become my ritual. It's the way I've come to terms with her death and it's the way I've learned to move on." Summer looked up, the sadness in her eyes being pushed out of her, as if her own words were repelling the grief.

"You always pay such close attention to my music, so... I thought maybe you would understand if I brought you here. I hope this isn't too weird for you." Summer laughed, wiping her eyes and standing up. Ivy held onto her hand as she stood.

"No, it's alright... Thank you for telling me Summer. If anything, I'm a bit jealous of you for being able to open up," Ivy said, tears forming in her own eyes. Summer pulled Ivy up and into a hug.

"We've barely known each other for half an hour, but I already feel like we're old friends. Or maybe that's just the alcohol," Summer laughed, pulling away and wiping the tears from Ivy's eyes. "I'm sorry I made you cry. I can take you back now if you want."

Ivy shook her head and closed the gap between the two of them with another hug. She clutched onto her shoulders in a desperate attempt to stay with her for just a little longer.

"Please, can I... stay with you?" Ivy asked, her voice small and muffled by Summer's jacket. Ivy could feel her defenses unraveling in her heart. This beautiful woman before her was just too much. She couldn't help it.

"I was really hoping you would ask," Summer admitted, holding Ivy close before taking her hand and leading her to her home. As they entered the small studio apartment, Summer flipped on the lights and set her jacket down on a nearby chair. Ivy did the same and took a look around the small space. Summer set a kettle on the stove and pulled her curtains shut.

In the corner of the flat was a box spring and a twin mattress covered in pillows and a few stuffed animals. In the center of the space was a long table and a few chairs. Along the wall opposite of the bed was a small nook for the kitchen appliances and the room's heater. Summer turned it on and motioned for Ivy to sit at the table where she had set two empty cups.

"I know the place isn't anything to write home about, but it's what I can manage," Summer said.

"It's better than my place. I have to deal with roommates."

Ivy pulled out a chair and sat.

"That's true, I do get privacy here. Sometimes it can get lonely though," Summer admitted.

"That's why I'm here, right?"

Summer laughed and Ivy couldn't help but enjoy every second of it. Summer's features were just so gorgeous, and Ivy wanted to envelope her in her arms. Ivy wanted to hold that precious and vulnerable part of Summer so close to her.

They chatted some more over tea, but before long, Summer invited her to come sit on the bed with her and turned off the lights. She seemed embarrassed for giving Ivy the invitation, but they both knew they wanted to end up tangled in this bed together.

"Hey so, I... um-" Summer stammered, unable to get her words out properly. Ivy waited patiently, but Summer's face started to flush in the dim light that came through the cracks in the curtains.

"Do you still want to spend the night together? Maybe you need me to initiate?" Ivy suggested, trying to pull Summer's words from her mind somehow. She started to worry that Summer didn't want to go further.

"No, no... I just... I don't normally open up like this with anyone else... you know, about my family and all that. So I feel a bit nervous to start... but I've been dying to kiss you all night."

They stared into each other's eyes for a few moments, the desire for more clearly written into their gazes. Ivy started to blush at the thought of Summer's lips pressed against hers, and that's when the barrier holding Summer back broke and she took hold of Ivy's cheek and pulled her into a gentle kiss.

Their lips touched and Summer pushed forward, making Ivy fall back on her elbows. Ivy could feel her body giving in and the shocks of intimacy hit her like small bolts through her spine. Her stomach buzzed with excitement and she wrapped her arms around Summer's neck. Their hair fell together into a dark shroud, and even in the darkness their lips found each other and kept pushing, pulling, and caressing the other's. Moans escaped between the two of them as they fell further into the bed.

Ivy laid against the bed with her arms around Summer, and Summer's hands found the small of Ivy's back and her breasts. Their bodies moved together as they gasped for air between kisses and uncontrollable words of affection.

They tried to undress without separating their bodies, but could only manage so much. Summer's dress was wrapped around her waist and Ivy's shirt was pulled above her chest, her bra pulled down as far as it could go. Summer kissed and nipped at Ivy's nipples, her eyes shining with the reflections of the city lights from the small gap in the window's curtains. She stared directly at Ivy's eyes, reading into every feeling and thought to make sure she was giving her the utmost pleasure.

Summer's hands worked around Ivy to hold her close to her while she rubbed her thigh against Ivy's most sensitive spot in a slow rhythm. Ivy's fingers ran through Summer's hair as she begged for more, and Summer soothed her cravings and pain with her sweet whispers.

"Oh Ivy, you're such a good girl... I'll take care of you tonight. Don't be scared, I'm right here."

Ivy's first thought was that she wanted to push back against Summer's care and redirect it at her. Summer was the one who had opened up and shared a deep and pained part of herself. It wasn't fair for her to try and comfort Ivy's pain that she hadn't even expressed.

But here she was, unable to deny that she needed Summer's affection. Summer was reaching into the unknown depths of Ivy's heart and gently caressing the pain that she didn't even understand. From the way Ivy stared at her during her performance, Summer knew exactly where to find the pain and wrap it in care.

Ivy cried out in uncontrollable bursts of pleasure, unable to resist Summer's control. Summer ran her fingers down Ivy's body, resting her hand between Ivy's legs. She teased and circled Ivy's clit, sending Ivy's moans into mews of desperation. Summer smiled down at Ivy and slipped a finger inside of her. She could feel Ivy's insides clench against her, desperately urging her forward.