All Comments on 'Who is Raphael Garza? Pt. 05'

I consider this a 'proof of life' story from a very talented author who doesn't seem to be in peak form. But it's not over. The dialogue is stilted and awkward from scene to scene. The bad guy had no depth or grace that he must have had in seducing the main character's wife.

I have liked K. K. 's propensity to use self effacing albeit sometimes bumbling protagonists who have core moral values amidst times of ambiguity and fight/flounder for clarity.

I appreciate the time and effort expended for this episode and hope the next installment of this story is closer to K. K. 's usual median of authorship.

So he gives up the PERFECT opportunity to kill the cheating whore and tie everything up in a nice little bow, and even if he WANTS to be a pathetic cuck and keep the slut, rather than getting rid of the body legally, or even illegally OFF their property he instead chops the copse into pieces and sinks in in a pond on his protery using items covered in his fingerprints.

Then on top of all that he confesses to his wife the several felonies he committed & shows her the cash.

The woman who readily betrayed him for a cheap thrill, who can now betray him into a prison cell for life and get a reward on top for turning in the drug money?

And we are supposed to feel sorry for this brain dead moronic cuck?

lets see how this ends

Thanks for continuing with it.

I still don't find Kathy to be a sympathetic character and I don't think she deserves anything but a swift kick in the ass from your MC but I love this story.

My dislike of Kathy could simply be that I have a negative reaction to the super lothario trope.

I think there are a group of women who are susceptible to skilled seducers but not an overly large percentage of happily married and satisfied women fall into that category and I don't think it speaks well or even realistically of women in general to portray them as all being vulnerable to certain players.

Happily married women who are very in love and satisfied with their husbands don't fuck other men because they are "xy or z" ( fill in whatever seduction skill).

Regardless, I appreciate your work!

I'm sorry, I read what was apparently a complete story 3 1/2 years ago, now here comes two more chapters, that I'm apparently going to have to read the original four chapters again because I can't remember them after all this time.

The two previous commentators should be ashamed of themselves.

I always felt the ending in chapter 4 was end of story. I hope chapter six doesn't leave unanswered questions.

To get Kathy distracted, plan B didn't need to involve killing her husband. Beating him or kidnapping him for a day for a couple of days would have done it. Professional criminals aren't going to do more than is necessary. In addition, there is far too much effort put into trying to convince the reader that Kathy was a victim and that she saved the husband's life. If she saved his life, it wasn't intentional and was without moral meaning. As for the "seduction", this drivel, which is common in LW stories, only works if you believe women have no moral agency. It feels like a set up for a RAAC.

Great story addition, my friend. Love your writing and it's great to see the OGs posting. Can't wait to see the next chapter posted. Randi.

I like it. Maybe wouldn't have played out like that in real life, but it's good fiction. I don't have an emotional or dialectic that makes me hate RAAC or BTB or anything in-between (although I like a happy ending for likable characters.) I do like a reasonable amount of 'realism' in a story and this has it. After all, it is a story.

As some have pointed out the fact that the Wife fell for the asshole on schedule might not be realistic, but who knows, people are callable and she was mad and lonely. And I assume the unspoken/unmentioned part that Madge? Margaret? (I'm terrible with names - the broad that was covering the audit for the crooks) would have been filling the Wife's head with hints about how down and dirty hubby was to spend so much time away.

Who knows. In real life my mom stayed the loving wife and mom even after I and my siblings left home. And growing up she was always loving mom and wife. But looking back at things, and seeing my little sister and her kids, and remembering little things about my mom that meant nothing to me as a kid, I think my kid sister is only a half sister.

So even loving and faithful moms and wives can slip up. Did dad know? we'll never know. But I know a few years before he died the whole clan was together for Thanksgiving and after dinner in between discussions of the 'game' someone brought up the idea of doing the DNA thing to find about where exactly our families came from in the old country.

Mom was adamant, almost vehemently against it. Almost unrealistically arguing about it. So we all let it drop I did it. my older brother did it. Sis never did.

But that's my story and totally unrelated to this story, which I liked and so far have given five stars to every chapter. I really liked the chapter where he was the super sleuth and commando guy, finding the people, casing the house, sneaking in to to the hit, thinking better of it, and getting away with the loot.

I like that sort of story.

I like the bug spray thing, the only thing better would have been if he had a lighter and held it in front of the spray to turn it into a flame-thrower and torched the guy!

Maybe next story. (Right Guard spray made a good flame-thrower back in my college dorm days.)

Ok. Enough ramble.

First I like this story and it is 5/5 in my books. But since he is very careful and very smart, he shouldn't trust his loving (to others) wife yet by telling her about the money and what happened.

I very much enjoyed this chapter. It's great that a very good writer takes the time to pen a very good mystery for us readers. There should be dancing in the streets! KK is one of the best and this was damned good. Great plot and interesting characters. This story is miles ahead of the usual fare we see here. Thanks for posting and I will be looking for the next chapter!

very entertaining.

Thank you for all the hard work that went into producing this.

I'm sorry I may be completely wrong. But I don't trust the wife I think she was The Mastermind behind it all. And that her whining and crying is just a cover. I may be cynical but when something smells like dead fish it sure ain't pasta primavera. We'll see if the next chapter proves me right or wrong.

she's the mater mind but she isn't innocent at all. And he's a dumb ass for telling her about the money or anything that concerns his freedom

Thank you K.K. . A definite quality lift on this week's fare, basically what HDK said. Can't wait for last chapter. 5*

As this story has continued from the original 4 chapters it appears that the wife was behind it all of the time. Why? Because almost every other possible person has been killed off. I think that now the story is that the MC has unintentionally thwarted all of her plans to kill him. Her motive the money (and just possibly Raphael but unlikely). We will see.

Very good story, great writing and, I love the plot. Five stars! It's a thinking man's story of revenge that really appeals to me. The hidden details are like little gems. The fact that there is in real life (IRL) a Grovers Mill Pond near Trenton, NJ on Cranbury Road with overlooking farms surrounding the pond adds greatly to the authenticity of the story. I can't wait to read Chapter 6 and find out the rest of the missing details. Thanks for sharing!

Fitting end for the pondscum, double tap to the melon and a boot to the balls! Awesome

But telling her about the money is stupid. Now what happens to the mustang . Better to have cut up the body and burned it and Byrd the ashes. Is he keeping the money?

lujon2019, where does it say they cut up the body?

Because $750,000 just isn't much money to a "drug cartel" and having Carlos/Garcia as the leader and still running around in amateur plays and seducing married wives just for fun instead of taking care of his drug business doesn't compute for me.

Where are the previous years worth of bearer bonds? He ends up killing everyone that was working for him why again? He is one cheap ass cartel guy, apparently. And also just real stupid.

Found the story interesting even with some unanswered questions, Now we need some way to close this story. Still don't understand why he had to get the wife to cheat and why she was so willing to "help" a guy get over the death of his wife.

Now that they have all that cash what the hell can they do with it? Can't put it in the bank and if they start spending it on a lot of expensive toys someone from the FBI will notice. I see a lot of nice vacations and upgrades to their current lifestyle. Maybe a trip to US and European casinos with a few thousand dollars to spend on the high slots or at the gaming tables. Slow. low amd steady or they are busted.

My Loving wife gave me grief for reading and not paying attention to her. That good! Looking forward to more stories so don't stop writing. waiting for Chp 6 though . Please confirm its wedging it's way into Literotica new- reads and will burst to the top availability shortly.

Who cares if we have to isolate. I've got reading to do.

Thank you for attention to grammar and punctuation.

Just waiting for Chapter 6! Stunning serial.

I really enjoyed this chapter, especially the bad ends to all the evildoers involved in the plot. I loved the end for Garza/Lewis/Carlos, or whoever he really was. That wasp spray is nasty stuff. I used to keep a can in my jeep before I replaced it with a canister of bear spray. Anyway, this is a great chapter, but we still don't know the full story. They've got a lot of untraceable money now, and they appear to have rekindled their marriage, so let's see the end of this epic.

All the writing about how you dumped his body in the pond, just slowed the story down. Are ya telling a story or fluffing up the word count?

Man, what a perfect opportunity. He could have shot her, and blamed it on Carlos.

ZK

While I enjoy the story, I am scared to death that you are turning a good MC into a CUCK...

@markT63 . . . “a good Mc”? Really? He’s annoying as fuck. A neutrotic, obbssesssing, whinny, light weight. Keeps talking about kicking people’s ass and so far all he’s done is hurt his own hand and shoulder. At this rate, everyone will be safe. As for the wife, take her back or don’t, but the constant daydreaming and hand wringing about what she did is way beyond my last nerve at this point. She’s naive and dumb, but clearly loves him although I can’t figure out why? This story is dragging, with way too much detail about the obsessions of his highly neurotic brain. If/when he gets to Garza, he had better do something more than talk to himself. That, and obsess about his wife is about all he’s good for up to now, and it’s annoying as fuck. Let’s bring the inner workings of this dull character to a close, please. At this point, just to get this neurotic train wreck over with, I’m hoping that Kathy does something decisive. This MC is a big, or little puddle of nothing. MC: if you believe your wife’s reason, and that she’s just gullible and stupid, and you still love her, take her back and actually go kick some ass for real. Or don’t believe her, cut her loose, and actually do go kick some ass. In any event, enough tracking his obsessive ramblings that lead to no outcomes.

Time to bring this baby to a close, cuck or not. Geez, I hate that term. It’s the go to word for all the insecure, bitter losers who liter this website just drooling for vengeance, reasonably deserved or not. Probably all the dudes who can’t get, or keep, a date, let alone a wife.

There was room in the pond for her, too!

Loved the story, not the ending. Have to look over their shoulders for the rest of their lives with a body in 7 feet of water at the family farm. WTF

A very well written and intriguing story.