All Comments on 'Who is Sonja?'

Excellent tale, but dude, that was cold leaving us hanging. We need to know what other relative she fucked. It may be best that Zach doesnt know, but sure do. My money's on his mom, her sister. 5/5 though.

@anonymous sorry, I thought that line would be good for a little humor. Remember, the mother was against her career, my original idea was brothers and cousins.

"I'm definitely no preacher's daughter," she joked.

I knew and dated a few "preacher daughters". All of them were quite the "wild child" and hotter than three dollar pistol. Their "daddies" didn't have a clue to what their precious daughters were really like.

Kind of saw what was coming, but still a lot of fun to get to that conclusion.

5-stars.

Story well told - That said, the ending was put together too quickly, lacking the dialogue and finesse that made the rest of the story so engrossing. Still rates 5*.

Strip clubs, lap dances, private room, price of drinks, He woulda been broke in Ann hour. Voice of experience here. Fun story and glad his aunt fucked his brains out.

@Crusader235 LOL, I know what you mean. You go in with a budget and end up wondering how you'll make your next rent payment. I may have gone overboard in how much fun he was having a the clubs, but it was a lot of fun writing about it. I'm glad you enjoyed the story.

A lot of fun to read. Definitely one of the better "found out a family member is a stripper" stories out there.

5-stars.

I think you could have cut out a lot of insignificant details (I literally couldn't bring myself to read the fine print about how she was going to become part-owner). For how open and sexual Jodie was in the end, I didn't think the charade of the first club was worth the extra words. A few flirty conversations early on would have been enough precedence for her to want to reveal her secret - as far as I could understand her character. Anyone can have their 2c about how a story could have gone differently, but I'm saying this because you went off on tangents throughout that were just un-sexy filler. Like how the rest of their lives panned out - so boring and why not leave that to reader's imagination!

So it could have been shorter, but honestly, the premise and general writing skill was good enough to justify an even longer story - but focus on the good stuff. How about a bit more anticipation of him drooling over Sonja's moves. Strippers are not just a vehicle for bouncing tits (they also have hair, and legs, and an ass). I thought the best moment for the penny drop would have been when he was watching the public show. As it was, you took too long to get to the reveal - every reader had figured it out within the first page - but you wanted to mention all these dances he was buying without even enough details to make them interesting. I mean just what kind of a college student is this guy? Speaking of money, and I don't live in the US, but I hope I'm right when I suggest that a $1 tip has got to be downright insulting and not worth the time she waits for him to strap that germy paper to her skin.

Ah ok I went this far; l might as well share my thoughts on the sex. You managed to create a picture of the mechanics, but that was it. How did she feel in his arms? Did she have a smell that affected him, and was he even interested in her private parts at any point? It didn't seem to be an emotional experience for him at all. Adding a few scraps of dialog (even just "Ah Zac, fuck me harder!" can go a long way to keeping readers connected with the (most important) scene. The whole story was told from Zac's perspective so no need to explore Jodie's experience in this case (you did, for a sentence or two, which was just jarring for the inconsistency).

I see you've posted a staggering collection of stories, hope you can understand I would only make this effort because I think you could give so much more for your reader's time, without all that much extra work.

There was a lot of unresolved conflict in this story, which kept me reading. I had a feeling where this was going, but I had to keep reading to find out. Unlike other commenters, I enjoyed the character development, attention to detail, and this story left me wanting to find out more. This was a good short story, that has a lot of potential for more adventures. Well done!