Who Wants to be Lonely?

She said "John, I love you but let's call it a night. We've gone from zero to sixty and I'm afraid I'll not be able to stop vey soon."

I kissed her and said "No problem. I'm just glad you didn't kick me out when I showed up tonight."

She playfully slapped me and said "Yes, I was close, but playing the Jenny card was pretty smart."

"I knew you were avoiding this type of escalation in our relationship. I knew that you needed a push, I'm glad I did it now."

"Me too" she said.

She gave me another scorching kiss at the door and I left her for the night.

********

After a few more adult dates and a few dates with the kids, she took it to the next level.

I stopped over to pick her up and rang her bell. She texted for me to come in. I figured she was dressing or just out of the shower.

When I opened the door, I saw a trail of rose petals leading up the stairs. I took the cue and walked upstairs following the trail. I turned to go in what I figured was her room and was shocked.

She was standing there in nothing but white thigh high stockings and four inch white heels. She looked amazing. She had candles lit and her skin seemed to glisten in the dim light.

She walked over to me and kissed me with an intensity that she'd never shown before. She was hungry for me as much as I was for her.

She pulled back and said "Honey, you're overdressed."

It didn't take long to rectify that situation and I was soon nude.

She looked me up and down and saw my rock hard erection. She licked her lips and said "I can't believe I wasted so much time."

I picked her up and carried her to the bed. I kissed her neck and worked my way down to her breasts. I spent some time licking and sucking and squeezing her before i worked my way down lower trying to kiss every freckle.

She was moaning and I could tell when I hit one of her erogenous zone because she shivered slightly.

I finally arrived at her trimmed but not shaven bush. It was perfect for my taste. Shaved pussies are for porn stars not my woman.

I continued down to her dripping wet pussy. I licked her slowly to savor her flavor. Her aroma was amazing. So perfect, It couldn't have been better.

I licked her lips then licked and sucked her clit. After several minutes she began to cum. She screamed out "Yes! That's it. Right there, don't stop."

Then when she came down she pulled me up to kiss her. She said "That was wonderful, thank you."

I smiled and said "Your pleasure."

We laughed at my stupid joke and she said "I need you in me. Please make love to me , but be gentle. It's been so long an you're bigger than I've ever had."

I kissed her and slid my hard shaft into her tight, wet hole. I slowly made it all the way in her and held there taking my time. She was so tight. She felt so good, I had to fight the urge to pound her into submission.

Ann liked it hard and fast. I had to remember to take it easy and learn what Lori liked. Then out of nowhere she bucked her hips and cried out in orgasm "I'm cumming. Now, harder now. Faster, faster."

I complied and gave her long hard thrusts, pushing her into the bed. She said "Give it to me love. Cum for me. Make me feel it. Oh god, I've never felt so full."

Several minutes later I came. It felt like a bucket full. It had been so long, so long since I had the love of a woman. Since I had given my love to a woman, this was so perfect.

We came down into post-coital bliss. She snuggled into my chest and let out a contented sigh.

I said "This was the best date ever."

She smiled and said "Will you please stay? Lissy is with Jeff's mom overnight."

I said "I'll need to make a call, but it shouldn't be a problem."

I got up to call my mom who was sitting for me and asked her to stay overnight as I would stay with Lori. She agreed, telling me to "Make her another grand baby" and laughed while she hung up.

Lori saw the look on my face and said "What?"

I said "My mom will stay but we have to make her a grand baby."

Lori laughed and said "Not this time, I went back on the pill, but I like the way she thinks."

We made love again and she woke me up in the morning with a nice blow job.

********

We had been together for around six months when I got a frantic call from Alice.

"John, Ann was just here. She said that she is back and sorry for what she called the biggest mistake of her life. We told her that it will take more than an apology to come back to our family after what she did to you and then John. She said she was willing to do whatever it takes to get you back and John back in her life."

"She has a room at a motel for now but will be stopping by to see you and John next."

"Great" I said sarcastically. "I finally moved on and now she thinks she can have me back. No fucking way!"

********

Ann did show up at my house that night. Since I had the warning from Alice, I had already taken John to my mother's. I was not going to let Ann do whatever she planned on doing, in front of him.

********

She rang the bell and when I answered, walked in without being invited. She still looked great. Long hair done back in a pony tail. Long legs showcased in a short, but not too short, casual skirt. The sleeveless top she was wearing showed enough cleavage to make you look.

This was going to be hard. All of my feelings of love came rushing back. I wanted to grab her and hold her, but then the feelings of betrayal came on just as fast. My head was spinning.

"Hello John, how are you." She started.

"Forget the small talk, Ann" I said defensively. "Why are you here."

She frowned and said "John, leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life. Then i made the second biggest mistake abandoning my son."

"Moving to New York was a foolish decision, brought on by fear and probably hormones from the pregnancy going crazy."

"Bullshit" I spat. "You don't get to hide behind hormones. You cheated on me and abandoned me when you allowed a predator into your life before you ever left."

"He wasn't a predator" she said. "He was a good listener when I needed to vent. You were so dead set on starting a family. My mother was on your side and I felt ganged up on. I truly felt that I wasn't ready for kids. I had a life to live first."

"Of course" I said. "Overnight you fell in love and left me. How long were you fucking him before running away?"

"No, I don't think I ever loved him." she said. "Not the way I love you. I know I said that in the letter I fell in love with Tony, but I was just looking for a clean break and getaway."

"Yes, I said I still love you. I do still love you and I miss you every day" she continued.

I chuckled at that comment and said "If what you've shown me is love, I'd hate to see your hate."

"That's fair" she said. "From your point of view, I must be a monster. A woman that left her husband and son behind because she was afraid to be a mother, afraid to grow old."

"John, if I would've known that I was pregnant, I never would have left. By the time I started getting sick and noticed I missed my period, it was too late. I had already created a downward spiral and was out of control."

"I knew it was yours because I never had sex with Tony prior to leaving. He really was just a shoulder to lean on, that is until he offered me a way out."

"I couldn't abort him John. I couldn't end a life nor could I rob you of what you wanted so badly." she started sobbing and grabbed a tissue.

She continued "I reached out to my parents to tell them I was pregnant, but they wouldn't take may call or call me back after I told them I left you. They were so rough on me about leaving you, I cried for 2 days."

"I certainly couldn't call you. That was made clear by your attorney during the divorce."

Now I was mad. I said "Just stop the woe is me bullshit. A simple text to either me or your parents saying 'I'm pregnant and it's John's' would have got a call back. Your mom wanted to be a grandma so badly she would've forgiven anything. You robbed her of that and then showed up on their doorstep with a baby. Christ, I probably would've taken you back if you had come to me."

She looked up at me when I said that.

"You would? Is there still a chance John? Can I hope to have a chance to make it right with you and see my son? Is he here? Can I please see him?" She asked.

"No, Ann" I said solemnly "That ship has sailed and I moved on. John is not here. I don't know if I can let him be in contact with you. It would mean I would have to have contact with you and I don't want that."

"John, please" she cried. "I'll do anything. Even if it's supervised visits with my parents."

"I'll think about it" I said. "Why are you back anyway? Lover boy Tony not work out?"

She answered "The pregnancy was hard on him. We were in the beginning of a relationship and he was being constantly reminded of my past relationship. He left me last year. He said he couldn't stand expecting every day that went by to be the day I would run back to my son, to my old life."

She continued "I've spent the last year in therapy working on what led me to jump off of a cliff the way that I did. I finally feel normal again and regret every day that I can't see my son. I cry all of the time. I bought little stuffed animals that I sleep with. I only hope and pray that you let me see him."

I stood up and said "Well, I'll think about it. Maybe there could be a way to make it work. I'll let you know."

I was walking her to the door when as I opened it she kissed me, on the lips. As she did that I heard a gasp and a voice cry out "No! You bastard!"

I turned and saw Lori running back to her car. I said "fuck" and chased but was too late. She was backing out already and didn't stop.

I dropped to my knees and then Ann touched my shoulder. I snapped "Don't touch me bitch! This is your fault. Stop fucking up my life!"

She started crying and got in her car and left me there.

********

A week went by and i left dozens of messages for Lori, sent dozens of texts. I left a letter on her car and sent emails. She responded to none.

I went to Ace and Jenny's house to enlist Jenny's help again. She didn't even let me talk. She slammed the door in my face.

As I was walking back to my car, Ace called out to me to come in.

I walked in the living room and Jenny was sitting there in tears.

"Why John? How could you? She loves you so much and you've hurt her so badly."

"Wait" I said cutting her off. "She saw Ann kissing me goodbye after we talked about John being in her life."

She gasped "Ann's back? Shit John, I'm sorry. If I had known it was Ann, I...I... Well I know you wouldn't go back with Ann. Fuck, this is a mess man."

"No shit" I said. "How am I going to fix this? She won't respond to any message. She won't take my calls."

"I know John. She's not reading or listening to your messages. Let me think on this. I know you'll never go back to Ann, but she won't. The fact that it's Ann will actually make it worse. She will think she's in competition with your ex. The fact that she is John's mother, in Lori's eyes, is a major point in Ann's favor."

"Let me speak to Lori for you. I will call you later. This is gonna be rough."

I said "Thank you, Jenny. Thank you, Ace. I'm sorry I'm putting you in this spot but I love her so much. I was actually ring shopping. I'd never hurt her or Lissy and John loves her too."

We said our goodbye's and I left feeling worse, having a bad feeling about how it would end up.

********

Jenny called that night and said Lori didn't want to talk to me.

"John, she was hurt before, but she was devastated when I told her that it was Ann. She refused to believe that you didn't sleep with her."

"Jenny, help me. What can I do? I love her so much, I have to get her back."

"I don't know if it will hurt or help, but I have an idea. Let me talk to Ace about it and see if he will go along with it. I'll call you back."

********

Two nights later, I was sitting on the bed in Ace's guest room. They invited Lori over for dinner and were going to have me walk out once Lori was settled. Their kids were with one of the grandma's so they weren't subjected to whatever objects Lori might throw at us because of the ambush.

Lori came in and I could hear the discussion pretty good. The bedroom I was in was next to the living room on the first floor.

Lori said "Thanks for the invite guys, but I'm really not good company right now."

"We know" Jenny said. "We love you and want to help you. We love John too and it hurts us that you're going through this."

"Jenny, I don't know what to do. I think I believe you that they didn't hook up that day, but will they in the future? How can I be sure he won't run back to her?"

"Because I love you not her." Lori jumped off of the couch when she heard my voice behind her.

She stared at me in silence for a minute, then shook her head and started towards the door.

I rushed in front of her and grabbed her into an embrace. We were sobbing holding each other when she said "I'm so scared John, I don't know what to do."

I whispered in her ear "Marry me."

She jumped back and screamed "What?"

"You said that you didn't know what to do, I answered and said marry me."

Jenny gasped, and I pulled a ring out of my pocket.

"Lori, I was already shopping for this before you saw my ex at my house. I never want to be apart from you ever again. These last two weeks have been hell on me. Please, come back to me. Be my wife, be John's mother. Let me be a father to your sweet daughter. Make our broken hearts and families whole again."

She sobbed into my chest for a few minutes and then ran out. Jenny chased after her but too late to stop her.

Ace was standing there shocked and then walked over to me where I was crying again. He put his arm around me and said "It will be alright John. It's just that you shocked her with popping the question."

"I've lost her Ace, I've really lost her."

I tossed Jenny the ring box as I left. I didn't care what she did with it. I got in my car and drove home in a daze.

Alice was there with John. She knew all of what happened leading up to this. She took one look at my face and said " Oh God John, I'm sorry. What happened?"

I got a beer and filled her in on the state of my life at that moment.

********

Jenny had gone to Lori's after I left. She called me and told me what happened.

Lori said "Jenny I don't know what to do. I love him so much and now I feel like I've hurt him by running away. I really fucked up."

Jenny said "No honey, he loves you so much that he'll welcome you with open arms. Lori, John is a good man. We wouldn't have introduced you to him if we felt otherwise. He didn't sleep with his ex. He would never hurt you just as he would never take her back. He wants you to be John's mother not that bitch."

"Jenny, how can I know he isn't just proposing because we broke up. How do I know he really wants it."

"I believe him" Jenny said. "He's not like that. He told me he was shopping for the ring when it blew up and I believe him."

"God, Jenny this is so fucked up."

*****

I was sitting out on my deck smoking a cigar, while John was down for a nap. The baby monitor thankfully reached. It had been over a week since Lori ran away from my proposal.

I was thinking about how I would never love again. I would live being lonely for the rest of my life.

I agreed to give Ann some supervised visitation with John. This would take place at Jack and Alice's home. Maybe they could rebuild their relationship while these visits take place.

Ann tried using my loss of Lori as an open door to get back with me, but I shot that down quickly. I'd rather be alone than go there again.

As I sat there worrying about what was to come, A voice said "Those things will kill you."

I turned quickly and saw Lori standing there.

"I smelled the smoke and just walked around I hope you don't mind me sneaking up like that."

"Of course not" I said.

"Is it too late for me, John? For us?

"No, love. I miss you so much" I said as I stood up and hugged her.

"Yes" she whispered in my ear as we embraced.

"Yes, please let's make our hearts whole again." she said.

I kissed her and she pulled back. She handed me the ring box and said "Please put it on for me."

I smiled and did as she asked.

"She looked at it and said "John, please forgive me for not talking to you. Please forgive me for jumping to conclusions. Please forgive me for running from you twice."

"Lori, what's done is done. Let's move forward. We've got some planning to do."

With that I walked with her into the house when she stopped me and said "No smelly cigars in the house."

I smiled and said "A cheap price to pay to not be lonely any longer."

I set it down and walked back in to begin planning the next chapter of my life.

*******************

Final author's note: Ace and Jenny are characters from the story Strutter. I liked how some of my favorite authors have their own "universe" where stories intersect.

Strutter told the tale of the beginning of their relationship.