All Comments on 'Who's This?'

As so many BTBs are.

I am confused though, what was she looking for? Closure? A second chance? I mean, if we were privy to her private thoughts, she must have realized she wasn't in love with him or that her behaviour towards him was deplorable. And if Donovon didn't send the pictures or line up the IRS, then who did?

This jumbled story seems to be fuelled by 90 proof stuff.

Not sure why they would rip this. Can't say I like the ending although its a decent ending. Seems to me there should have been more. I guess it just feels like she gave up too easily or if not easily gave up without enough squacking and squalling.

Even though you ended this perfectly it left me wanting more. I want all the others to come face to face with him and deal with their own screw-ups. I loved the way Myra sat and looked at him and finally realized that what she had done had lost him. There was a definite sadness in the way she says goodbye to him too.

How in Hell did I not know, TK U MLJ LV NV

Did Donny really have an investment portfolio?

Who sent the photographs? His sister?

I understand wanting to find Donny and seek closure but their meeting just produced more questions that need answering.

A few unanswered questions at the end but do they mean anything? Kind of a puzzle, can you give me a clue on what those questions meant?

Read it twice just 'cause I had to have missed something.

Nope. This was a tale with a whole lot of "huh?".

A bit convoluted at times. Too much unspoken to be complete.

A little convoluted and somewhat confusing at first, but over all a very good BTB story.

that he always has interesting characters and he doesn't spoon feed the reader. We have to think as we read. I fear his longer stories have trouble carrying all of the unknowns and simply become confusing, but his short stories are always a real pleasure to read.

I have enjoyed your stories very much. Do not always like the endings but the stories are well done and interesting to follow. Thank you for sharing

This is a good character sketch of a self absorbed narcissistic rich girl. I love just about anything JimBob does. Five *.

"They said when we get married, they'll give us a honeymoon in Barbados as their way of making it up to you." - Let's see, their daughter's boyfriend does something for them that could have easily paid to have done, and they'll "make it up to him" by paying for a honeymoon? One, he hasn't proposed yet. Two, that's as much as gift to their daughter as him, and three, isn't that something that you would expect wealthy parents to do anyway?

Maybe I'm not up on my "car fashions". but why did Myra almost sneer when her Audi was mistaken for a BMW? Aren't BMW's higher on the status ladder than Audi's?

Re: Shaved Pussies - I would think there wouldn't be a problem if she waited for Thomas to ask again and then agree, or say something along the line of, "I know you've been after me to shave, and I've been talking to the ladies at the Club, and if you still want me to, I will."

Why was what looked like a flashback at the end with no indication?

No, he doesn't have an "investment portfolio"! He was just yanking Mickey's chain.

The "metals" were the engine, and the "oil" was the diesel oil!

Thanks for sharing.

i am hoping to read another part to this story. thank you for posting it.

Aww man! You gotta fill me in on that! And make sure Chris Dumas comes along for the ride.

Good story and good read. Five stars

Please keep writing

... to read with all the jumping back and forth in time. But I liked it.

keep up the work with this kinda writing

Granted, I tend to speed read most of the time, but even when I slowed down and backtracked I found it difficult to keep up with all the characters and time shifting in this story. Every story is told for a purpose, and it just isn't clear to me what this story's purpose is. What is the moral of this story? What were we suppose to have learned?

I think this is meant to be a quasi-BTB tale, although the main two characters were never married -- or even technically engaged. That softens the blow of the inevitable need for revenge and retribution. There simply isn't as much at stake.

As with all classic BTB tales, the male protagonist is a hard-working blue collar guy who is way smarter and morally superior to any other character in the story. And, for reasons that elude me, the male protagonist is always -- always -- portrayed as emotionless and stoic. Donny's attitude toward Myra from the very beginning was a shrug of his shoulders and a "whatever." If she wanted to date him, he was fine with that. If not, that seemed fine, too.

With zero emotional investment in that relationship, why on earth would he care if that relationship ended? And if he didn't care, why should we?

As with all of these stories, the hero finds someone much better while the villain ends up broken and miserable for the rest of her life, regretting her actions, and begging for forgiveness. At least...that's what I think happened at the end of this story. It's hard to tell.

I thank the author for the time and effort.

Not as strong as some of your other stories, but still great. Look forward to every story you post.

Thanks.

A little loose on the wrap up, but the rest of the story was very good.

Sure would like to have known who sent the photos and tipped off the IRS if Donny really didn't do it.

I'm guessing it was Micheal's wife who sent the pics? Great mystery. Enjoyed the story.

First off - you're a good writer. Let's get that out of the way. I'd just like to offer some constructive criticism.

The simple text of "Two years, three weeks and one day later.", "Two years, three weeks and two days later." was a little hard to follow. A lot of that was on Literotica's lack of formatting, but you might try to insert some lines/whitespace, etc to help make it clear that there is a break in the narrative.

Donny states a couple of times that he has investments, and make comments that suggest he understands the market (the implication being that he's not just a dumb greasemonkey) - but he also mispronounces some things towards the end, and we never actually find out if he had real money invested, or if he was just posturing for the benefit of the family. The latter seems doubtful, but you leave that unresolved - some allusion to his money, maybe Myra sees a quarterly summary, that sort of thing would be nice.

Donny is built up nicely to start with, but the end is a little weak. There are lots of unresolved questions. Like other comments have suggested, it would have been nice to have found out where the pictures and the IRS tip came from - even some sort of insinuation or speculation. Without that, these feel like karmic deux ex machina - fun to read about, but they don't really make much sense.

I have no idea what that was all about especially the ending. Total waste of my reading time.

I'm with the commenter who said that he had no idea what this was all about. Donny is a cross between and absolute genius and a clear-cut idiot. If he was so clever how come it took so long to figure out Myra? I can't think of a single redeeming feature of her physically or personality-wise. A good lay? Not good enough to make up for the rest of her deficiencies. Unfortunately this was only 3 pages long so I was drawn into finishing the story which was an utter waste of time. Better luck next time and remember the concept of keeping a story coherent and making the characters consistent. A generous 3*

He doesn't make it easy for me and there are sections of narrative where I flat-out flounder and I often disagree with a few plot vectors. by the end , it's almost always worthwhile. I count this effort as belonging in the aforementioned catagory.

Full marks * * * * *

LeCarre does novels like this... shows a bit of sophistication to understand and absorb... there is more to the story and it is left to the reader to complete... well done

Filled with different people, some flawed, some flawed but redeemed and some just evil, nasty critters.

Oh, 5 stars, of course.

I frankly thought it was a confusing and convoluted plot.

then it lost focus. I wanted to know more about the characters and what happened.

You could describe Donovan that way.

But really how much emotional connection should he have had to Myra?

She made no effort to know him, took him for granted, cared not at all when he was being disrespected in front of her - in fact took part in disrespecting him.

He dumped her.

Who burned them?

Unknown, but from their actions it is unlikely that they only treated Donovan that way so they probably made plenty of enemies.

I'm not sure, but I think the mispronunciations were deliberate, playing up to her family's image of him as ignorant.

I'm pretty sure his "investments" were a joke to yank Mickey's chain! The "metals" we're the engines and such, the "oil" was the diesel oil.

I had no real problem with the date headings, except that the second on either shouldn't have been there at all, since it was just the next day of the prior scene, or if it HAD to be there, it simply should have been "The Next Day".

And then to NOT label the flashback scene, not to even put some dashes or something? It obviously is what happened after the cartons were dropped of at her parents' house, but there was no indication, made it confusing.

I have to scratch my head whenever I find myself on the other side of the comments from LSD. Thankfully, don't have to on this offering! Easy to read? Nope! Disorganized? Nope ... just not organized MY way ... neither were any of the 'stream of consciousness' writers. This is uncomfortable on OTHER counts, as well, but well worth the trouble!

Tag under 'dealing with an entitled bitch!'. Should be required reading for middle school kids ... boys, sure! ... but also pubescent entitled bitches!

Cinco!

Really enjoyed the story.

Particulalry that some of the blanks were left as blanks, it gave my imagination something to do.

Thanks JB

please do a follow up chapter. Need to find out about Donny's sister and who gave the info on the family if it wasn't Donny?

Interesting but confusing tale. All I know is our hero caught his entire ex's family fucking around and took a powder. They all got fucked and he is happy. That's what makes this tale for me.

I liked your story, I loved your characters, but your transitions were a little confusing to me. I could have used at least an extra blank line or two to let me know a scene had changed, where one line of dialogue followed another with no break. Likewise, the flashback could have used a little something to keep me from having to look back and clarify.

However, I do like a hero with dignity. Bravo for Donnie/Donovan and his 'take me or leave me' attitude. You never revealed who sent the pictures or alerted the IRS, but Donovan said he didn't, and made a point of honesty, so I believe him. Thanks for letting me have a part in your story by deciding myself. My money's on Lindsay protecting the brother, who she was so very close to.

Thanks for writing!

just a tad disconnected for me to follow from one jump to another.

I loved the way he mocked Mikey about his investments. Especially since most of the money Mikey had was borrowed from his in-laws.

But no real resolution for Myra and her family.

the first part is well written and if ended there would be a five.

Part two has a build up and then just stops. Unfinished.

Did the author die.

Good story, the end could have been flushed out a little more. The way he talked about his investments, I really figured he was going to turn out rich and was a mechanic because he liked to work on things and didn't see a reason to live above what he needed.

I always read your stories, they have a particular "flavour" and sound. They also often show a stoicism of the lead characters in the face of advesity that I really like. Well done, again.

Interesting reading - good reading time! Well worth time to read!

Myra was certainly an interesting character. I appreciate you writing for your pleasure and sharing!!

Please do keep writing and I will keep reading!

But got lost in second half. Your writing skills make the story worth reading. Next time dont hurry the end.

For the read.

Read it twice, considering her personality it still not make sense

Please need a sequal there is a lot of in answers who told the irs and sent the photos if it wasn't Donny. And maybe more of Donny's story of after he left.

good story, i agree with others that it could have used a little more detail but still a good read. I have read a lot of your stories and even though this story may not relate, i was hoping that from now on the ones you write that do relate to each other, please let us know some how. because i really like that as i've read more and more of your stories that do have common characters, i like how it finishes that story or continues it.

thanks for sharing it with us. Liked his attitude. Don't need to take no shit off of anybody just to be with them. More so with a wife I guess but a marriage is averaging not one event at a time. Still and all if you are auditioning for a job, like she was, you should probably act a little better during the interview process.

You're quite a good writer & this was a pleasant easy read, pity more authors don't pay greater attention to producing stories for enjoyment reading. 4 ****

When SHE she "pushed the thoughts out", was it a "Hey, I'm such a spoiled bitch slut that the actual idea that people should be responsible for their own actions has no bearing on my class of people" or was it "He went out of his way to be nice to me and my family and we were so shitty to him that I've really lost what could have been the best thing in my life and I can't think about that or I'd just have to kill myself"...?

If she just ONCE had thought if his name as Donovan towards the end, I'd have believed the latter... But with her always thinking "Donnie", I don't know...

And I'd like to know why she HAD been looking for him all this time...? If she believed he was involved in destroying her parent's marriage and her lover's and his wife's (her sister) life, why would she WANT to be with him...?

Liked the story and the dry resolve of Donny. Only issue I had was about the F-16. They are single seat fighters and don't have co-pilots. The trainers are two seat, but that's instructor pilot and student pilot; no "co" at all. F-15's and F-18's come in two seat variants but the second seat is a weapons and electronic counter measures operator.

Okay, she's a self-centered, entitled, spoiled bitch, but in her way she DID love him. How in the world did she not make her sister give him a bedroom, etc.?

Did she lie about finding him because she didn't want to admit he couldn't care less about her, or to protect him from her family's vengeance?

Why did she have to sit in jail for three months after arraignment? With all her family's money she couldn't make bail?

Yes, there were some 'unfinished/unexplained' parts. But this guy did what had to be done and did it without the angst and misery that usually comes with a cheating wife/girlfriend. I'm just surprised he waited so long after the 1st visit to the sister's home where he was treated like 'shit'. That should have been the end of the relationship there. I'm guessing that the unexplained parts were left to the imagination of the reader. Thanks for an entertaining and interesting story.

when i say it's not long enough, it's not a gripe it's a complement. you have some great "loving wife" scenarios and i think often a bit of a shame they're only 2 or 3 pages long.

F-16A/C/E are all single seat variants. Great story by the way.

Lots of dangling unknowns that only lead to likely ASSumptions.

ASS #1 - Donny/Donovan owned the the trucking business allowing him to take whenever, he was a working owner who enjoyed the work. I bet he owned the Rooster Pull too. He owned his house and had a portfolio he payed with. He could talk turkey with any investor - he was no dumb grease mechanic. Don was just a very secure man that did not need to brag or impress others with material things nor his knowledge.

ASS #2 - Don (or his Dr. Lindsey/sister) got a PI to get pics and likely much more. The PI sent the photos. The PI sent the other details to the IRS. So Don did not do any of it, but his protective sister might!

ASS #3 - three months before trial on a simple B&E, of an empty house. Plus she did have un-working keys/garage door opener to the place. This was a story BS'er.

ASS #4 - Don loved Myra even after he was slapped 2yrs 3mo prior in Chicago. (I'd have dumped her ass after that three layer snub - obvious he didn't measure up.) He tried to fit in, help the parents that only saw him as a grease monkey until the snobs smacked him the final time then distanced himself - Myra never saw it.

The Melinda's part in the story was very shallow. He'd live with Myra for over 2yrs but marry Melinda in under three months?!? Or is there background here that is missing in the story?

JimBob44

I for one thought you did a great job on the character development - some may pick "holes" at parts of your plot such as the real wealth of Donovan etc, but for me, your tale was entertaining with just the right amount of sexual tension between the major players. My advice....keep submitting!

Write more like this

Good story but odd ending considering the self absorbed personality of Myra. Her character just didn’t strike me as one to just accept that she was SOL

I liked it a lot.

Only issue I had was 1/2 way through the last page, Myra drops her phone in her purse. Then she's on the road to Chicago making good time

Took several sentences and rereading twice to realize it was a flashback 2yrs when Mrya went home and got arrested. A little spacing or ***** to separate the flashback would have been nice.

Thanks for writing..

.

Nothing but praise for this one. Just one more great story from JB44. Best I've seen in a while.

...who wonders, "Did Donny really have an investment portfolio?"

and @ sbrooks103x who incorrectly answers him "No."

(These two are representative of other commenters.)

What do you think happened to all the money that he and his sister Lindsey got from:

1) the payoffs from the airline over their parents' deaths

(that's TWO payoffs)

2) the insurance money from their parents' deaths

3) the insurance money and / or payoff from the Air Force over their brother's death

??

He certainly had not squandered it on an ostentatious house.

He did not even own a suit until "forced" to buy a couple for the wedding of his girlfriend's sister.

Having money helps to explain why he was not impressed by the extravagant house of Myra's folks

(an added explanation is that he had enough character to not be impressed by pretentious ungrateful snobs, no matter how rich).

For some of the other unknowns of the story, don't miss the viable insights of TwOCrOws.

Since nobody in the story knows who sent the incriminating pictures or who tipped off the IRS, how can the readers possibly know?

I agree with commenter just before me, 26thNC.

Another intriguing JimBob 5-star story.

Paul in Oklahoma

A LOT OF HOLES, CONFUSING, AND MANY QUESTIONS LEFT UNANSWERED. A 2 AT BEST. TRY A RE-WRITE AND FILE IN THE HOLES, STRAIGHTEN OUT THE CONFUSION, AND ANSWER THE MANY QUESTIONS.

Excellent.

If you're that easily confused, then this will really make your head explode. 1+2=3, but 2+1=3 also. Sav? Sav, you there? Shit, somebody help him up off the floor!

Myra was just too immature and self absorbed for a relationship. She did right at the end though and lied to protect Donny. I know JB has moved on but the ending makes me feel like Myra's story could have continued into another detailing her continued growth and redemption

This is a great story the second time. I can't believe people send threatening emails to authors over a damn story that no one made them read. They some weird folks on this LW site though. I get quite a few emails myself. Mostly good, but some really nasty ones from the cuck fans. I even got a nasty one from the great HarryinVagina. Imagine one of the immortals sending me an email!

Gave you 5* but I'm not sure where your story led me and dropped me off. Well written, concise, complete story arc.

Mechanic and covered.

Stock market only mentioned twice and teaser

jtwheels

Good story, but a little loopy. Jumped back and forth a little too much at the end there, and especially without any formatting, was a bit plodding to follow.

Should have given Myra incurable std from her slutting around .

OK, not a story to cheer you up, but that wasn't the point. JimBob44 is one hell of a story-teller and his dystopian vignettes are among the best on this site.

So 5 for the writing and the character development.

I particularly liked that Donovan did not become a simpering, soulless idiot when dealing with Myra, which seems to be the pattern in most other, similar stories. No. He kept true to himself.

It turned out that Myra was just as much a one night stand to Donny as she was to her fling partner.

I don't hate it matter of fact, this was funny. Thank you

The worst part of this story? Myra shaved off her orange red pubes! No real fire crotch should ever shave off her pubes!

It was good of the whore to finally be decent.

Some people just don't understand that just the have money, the world owes them a kiss on the ass

I am kinda wondering why Donny hung around. Now me after first time I would stay around for a second slip

and I would have resigned from the game, and maybe after the trip to Shy town. Ya can't pick your parents but you can pick your nose. In this case what you get out of your nose might have more value -- you can breath better

Enjoyed your story. Thank you!

"Still waters run deep." - Old Saying

.

"Some people are so shallow as to be all surface." - H.L. Mencken

.

Great ending! 5/5!!

No boobs, no ass. Self centered, rude and a cheater. Why did Donny ever have anything to do with her after she went all the way the night they met?

Cheat why did she do it? He wasn't good enough for her and them a shame really.

3 stars the part I really liked the most was Donovan NOT being turned into a cuck/wimp.

Since you don't read emails, I can't send praise by email to make up for the idiots who hate your stories.

I Like your stories.

I read them because, they keep reminding me of basic truths about life and people.

Thank you.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

I would really like to know, why she cheated. Why cheated her wife? Why did they hate him? And did Donny send the information or not?

Good story but your transitions need major work. You need to at least introduce new characters before they’re making verbal contributions… kept the story from flowing.

Only drawback.

Would love to know who informed.

Give whoever a hearty yeah!!!

I was hoping it was Donovan

LOL, one of your better stories. Stuck up, entitled Bitch and whole family got what they deserved.

Smooth operator, that Donny. 5*

Smooth operator, that Donny. 5*

Incoherent, n a nutshell. Not worth further commentary 2*

Only question as other

Who inform