by Liittiti
You need an editor or proofreader. There are so many grammatical mistakes, I suspect English is not your first language. The mistakes make it impossible to get through the story
I disagree with the other anonymous reviewer, respectfully. The storyline is good if readers want the great American novel read The Great Gadsby. It has lots of action in a short story, the only suggestion is use less proper names for body part and delve into the common language of sex and lovers.
This proves to me that the admins who allow this crap don't speak English, either.
Had to stop. One of worst on here for a long tme. U write like an 18 YO
Too many errors make a story too hard to understand. Erotic stories do not repetitively use the words vagina and penis. also, a vagina cannot go in and out of a penis. This story needs a lot of help!
trying to read this gave me a headache, not sure which country you are from but English is definitely not your first language, grammatical errors aside your writing makes me think you are maybe 18 at best