All Comments on 'Wife's Devotion'

It's so easy to tell English isn't your first language. You need an editor on this to sort the whole thing out so it actualy makes sence then re-post it so I can at least try to read it without my eyes glazing over.

I appreciate that you tried but the english is so poor that I have no fucking clue what's going on.

Loved the content - not my usual story I read, but was intrigued, then hooked, then delighted!

Re the comments above,if you need some assistance, contact me, its not a problem. Dont let this stop you writing more like this! Please!

Those who glorify it or enjoy tales of it are no better than those who practice it.

Is on acid, yikes.

"Cough it out off yourself at last." Her voice was trembling but sounded calmly. "Say though, what is her name and what is she better than me in.

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who the fuck talks this way?

Some of you, no doubt, in your failings, oft not to recognize the rare use of the 17th century Omish dialect used here. Ah rape stories-ooo is there anything sexier? Maybe those great stories of Dads fucking daughters, Moms fucking sons, daughters fucking Moms, just great stuff. Reluctance can be very hot, non-consent is a felony.

To be honest, the first two paragraphs were enough to demonstrate that the story was going to be unreadable. I think there was probably some potential, but if the reader has to re-read the first paragraph twice and still can't figure out what was meant......there's not much incentive to plog forward. Maybe it was punctuation. Frankly, without knowing what was supposed to be communicated, it's not possible to identify exactly what is the problem.

-- KK in Texas

I couldn't understand what the fuck you're talking about in this story. Was there sex? Was there rape? Fucked if I know, you could have put the winning lottery numbers in there and solved world hunger for all I could tell. I'm not sure what your ethnicity is...but if you can't make it understandable, get a proofreader. Otherwise, stop writing.

The author does a hell of a better job in English than I would do in his native language. What I did pick out of this story was very erotic. I think that the premise of the story is that he wanted to see his wife get fucked by another man, and forced to do the deed. She must be very submissive, because she followed what ever her husband ordered her to do. Though she did feel guilty for letting herself to get fucked without her husband knowing when she was at some kind of convention. I think if the translation was better it would have been a hell of a good story....Rich

I really tried, but I couldn't make any sense of this. The story feels as though it began in Latin, was translated into German and then again into English. The sentence structure is all over the place, the punctuation confused and the meaning lost in the shuffle. It's the porno equivalent of "lorem ipsum dolor sit amet...".

it almost reads like it was written in a language other than English and run through translation software.

Now this is really unique. I love the misuse of language. Hilarious and erotic at the same time, not an easy feat. Don't listen to the nay sayers. You've got something special. Keep writing, and DO NOT get an editor. I like it raw!

To the equally anonymous person who wrote " Non Consent ====RAPE Those who glorify it or enjoy tales of it are no better than those who practice it", I say please realize this is a work of F-I-C-T-I-O-N. I know a few women who have the fantasy of being taken against their will, does this make them rape victims? I think not. Understand that there is a huge difference between fantasy and reality. Rape is wrong, that's a given. This story however is a fantasy, therefore get the brick out of your ass and enjoy this yarn for what it is, a peek into the dark side of some people's sexuality. No one said you had to approve of it. Thus endeth the rant. Peace.

Spent time at the english school for self cucksters?<P>

This inaneness shows that there are a few sickos in every land.

Need to improve English before writing in it, too distracting and hard to follow.

This story is written in language what?

When you write, write in your native tongue and have it translated. The sentence structure alone allows little or no understanding of the message of the text.

When I was working with employees from the Slavic countries, I often had to have them tell a translator what their questions (or answers) were so that we could have an intelligent dialogue.

An english editor who understands the Polish language and Polish syntax would be a great aid to this story.

It's a brave and lengthy attempt but clearly the author's first language is not English. That wouldn't matter too much if the story didn't read as if it had been translated by a machine. I struggled and gave up.

I read about the first page and a few sentences in the second, that I realized the writer is too stupid to bother reading. If he can't just say what is happening, he does not value the readers enough to write clearly. It's almost like he thinks a good story should not only be suspenseful, but it's not good unless 40% of the story is for a main character to say a simple sentence what is going on. Honestly, this writer does not write well enough to waste that much time on.

How did you get such a good vocabulary yet such poor grammar? Was this written in Polish and then translated? If so, you should be aware that Polish sentence construction does not work in English. You really need an editor's input to make this readable.

Extremely difficult to read. It reads like a text that has been badly translated into English by a robotic translation program.

The sentence structure was difficult to decipher at first, but then I got the rhythm of it all and found it beautiful.

This story hit on the only parts of cuckholdery that I am attracted to...I control my wifes body, she is for my pleasure and willingly obeys. Her only happiness is to serve me.

Thanks for contributing.

Shit story

Scores 1/5

SENTENCW SERUCTURE ?? Are you shitting me (AYSM) ?? This dribble got passed before I could read the second chapter !! It is quite evident that English is NOT your primary language, Why, oh why, did you not dictate to an English speaking person and have the writ it correctly?? 1* star, and that was really pushing the boundries.

Look, I appreciate your attempt to write in English which is obviously not your native language, but this simply does not work. It is unreadable in its present form. Sorry, I know you tried.

This is “thought disordered”, i.e., the product of a clinically impaired mind.

IMO the most difficult text I have ever seen on this site. I stopped trying after the 1st page. After checking subsequent pages and finding no improvement, I am leaving.