Wife's Trip to New York

"You told me once dear
you really love me
and no one could come between
but now you left me to love another
You have shattered all of my dreams"

Her voice faltered and faded, as she didn't know these words. She hadn't ever paid attention to these verses before.

Chris continued singing lustily:

'All my dreams dear
seem to leave me
When I awake my poor heart breaks
won't you come back and make me happy
I will take all of the blame'.

Her hand went limp, and a moment later, she slumped back into her seat.

"Why'd you stop singing?"

"I didn't know all the words. I'm just tired. Would you mind turning off the music?"

"You're acting very strange. You're fine one minute, and not the next. What's bothering you? You're not facing Judgment at Nuremberg. It's just a business training course, isn't it?"

She snapped at him

"I don't feel so good, and I have to go to this weather I want to or not. Just leave me alone. I'm not having a good day."

Her eyes were shut. She wasn't sleeping; she was in that state of longing for oblivion, but not being able to get there. She silently muttered 'lord, why have you forsaken me?' while Chris blathered on about staying in a posh hotel, being paid to learn new tricks for her business and then making more money. Plus having a couple of nights on the town! Wow! Going on about restaurants he had looked up on line, when she Interrupted him:

"Chris. I'd like to rest my eyes a bit. Could you just...just drive. I want to take a nap."

"Sure, but you won't get much rest. We're nearly at the tunnel so we'll be there in a few minutes."

He had no problem finding the place. Nice hotel, valet parking. A bell man grabbed her overnight bag, she raced ahead into the lobby in case Roy was early. The valet was also right there, Chris took the receipt and followed a few steps behind. No sign of Roy, but then she had to face the front desk. Of course they had no reservation under her name. Chris jumped in and asked for Janet Kaship, Albert Cohen, and even the Interlock Training Program. The clerk said no to all of that.

"Wait! You don't have a conference room rented tomorrow morning for the Interlock Training Program?"

She was near to tears when the clerk said:

"No, nothing like that. But no matter madam! We have rooms available for tonight. I am very sorry for our mistake with your reservation and this inconvenience. I can offer you an upgrade at no charge. A very lovely room."

At $280 a night Chris guessed he could give her an upgrade. Ouch! Karen pulled out her personal credit card.

"Ahh... aren't you suppose to use the company American Express card for all business expenses?"

"Oh! Right. Thanks for reminding me."

She tried to ditch Chris in the lobby, but he followed her and the bellman to the room. She headed directly into the toilet and stayed awhile, doing whatever while he tipped the bellman. Curious to see what she brought with her and under the guise of being helpful, he began unpacking her suitcase. Her blouses and skirts such he hung up. Her best underwear, matched sets she wore for special occasions. He put these in the top drawer of the dresser. Cosmetic and toiletry cases on the desk.

Looking in the various pockets of the overnight case he literally saw red when he pulled the $125 silk teddy he got her for Valentines day a couple of years ago. Whether by accident or on purpose, it hadn't been in plain sight, she had it tucked in the zippered outside pocket of the suitcase. He pushed her cloths along the closet rod until they were all to one side, and hung the teddy sort of by itself on the other side, twisting the wire hanger so it faced you when you looked in. You couldn't miss it. He deliberately left the closet door open. He was thinking; 'She wore it one fucking time for me. That was it.

Her excuse to not wear it was that she knew he would rather see her nude and would just take it off of her. He thought the point of the lingerie was to get her feeling sexy about herself, but it didn't work. She'd think her husband had to say nice things to her even if she was fat and ugly? Of course she wasn't fat, and certainly not ugly, but apparently she was excited enough about Roy to look forward to wearing it for him. Well, good riddance to her and her fucking teddy.

He pulled the battery out of her phone, pocketed the scrap of plastic and reassembled it. If she took it to a phone store, they'd see the plastic and she'd know he doctored it. Worked fine. He shut it off so it wouldn't beep.

She came out and sat on the bed.

"How are you feeling? Up for a bit of connubial bliss?"

"Oh god no! I'll be OK though. Don't worry. You better be going, you've got a long ride ahead of you. Thank you for bringing me here honey."

"Not up to a bit of loving? Well I wouldn't expect you to fill up on bread when a hunk of juicy meat was coming your way. And it's also true, it's a long journey away from here that I'm facing. So you're really getting paid for this trip? It's work?"

"Damn it! I told you! Yes! What was that other stuff you said. About juicy..."

Chris learned long ago you don't have to answer all the questions put to you.

"I unpacked your suitcase for you; underwear in the drawer the rest hanging up in the closet...right. Work it is. How about supper? We can eat down stairs. They have a decent special advertised in the elevator...or go out."

"It's kind of you to offer, but it's all right. Besides, I'm a little off of my feed. I'll lie down for a bit, and order something from room service later. You need to get home, I can sleep in a bit, whereas you've got to be up early."

He thought about the servicing she would be getting in her room. Considered pushing the dinner bit. He guessed it was 50/50 they would run into Roy in the hotel restaurant, but frankly he was despairing of the evening changing anything. This was ripping him up inside. He really had held some hope in his mind that she would, even at this late date, return to him. C'est La Vie! The point of no return. Time to move on.

"OK. Forget for a moment about me and the ride back and such. I want you to tell me what YOU want me to do. Ok? No reference to me or it's affect on me. Do YOU want me to leave you, or do you want me to stay with you?"

"Chris, you have to get up early tomorrow, and..."

"Karen, you're not listening to me. This is serious. I want you say, without regard to consideration for me, either 'I want you to stay with me'. or 'I want you to leave me.' "

"Chris what are you trying to say?"

She really didn't understand what he was saying. He sat next to her, took her left hand in his, and said
"Say one or the other 'I want you to leave me!' or 'I want you to stay with me.' Those exact words and nothing more."

His heart cracked as she said without emotion, almost a mumble "I don't understand you. I guess... I guess I want you to leave me."

He stood up and walked towards the door.

"Ok. You made your choice. That's settled. Look, if you're having a good time and want to stay up here an extra night...I mean you really don't have to get back until Sunday night. It's fine with me. I've got a lot of stuff to do...oh I got your cell phone working."

"Oh thank you. I don't think I'll stay an extra night. But we'll see. Thank you for driving me all the way up here. I love you!"

Chris didn't want to touch her, so he blew her a kiss and headed out the door. He hoped she would run after him, or call him, tell him to return to her, but there were no calls that night. He hadn't really expected her to call. Maybe she would if she had noticed he had hung up the red teddy, but Chris hadn't cleared the hotel, when Roy called her on her cell phone. He told her his room number, and she ran out the door not even glancing at the closet.

His dad had signed the contract on the house earlier in the week, so he stopped by and had supper with him. Got the keys and other paper work. Condolences on the divorce. Late that night he canceled the last of the joint credit cards, split the money in the savings accounts, setting a new one up in just his name.

While his wife was sprawled naked in the bed, being fingered and fondled by Roy, Chris was getting on with the rest of his life. First thing in the morning he picked up the truck he had rented, hired four day laborers to empty out the shop in their garage and his lumber supply from the loft, and take it to the shed behind his new house. Three of them had family members willing to clean houses, so he had hired them as well. The new house needed a thorough cleaning before it could even be painted, The house might be a wreck, but it would be a clean wreck.

They had the shop moved in by 3 PM, and he left two of the men to help the women cleaning the new place, and took the other two to clean up the garage and cellar where shop had been. That night a friend of his came over and they packed cloths and split the kitchen utensils and such. The wife called and basically bullshitted, and asked if he minded her taking him up on his offer and staying an extra day. He told her the truth, she should go right ahead, it made no difference to him. He lied, he needed one more day.

She said he sounded exhausted, which he was, and both were glad to hang up. Her because she felt guilty talking to him while in bed with Roy, him because anything more to do with her was time wasted from his life. He could have ruined her weekend by telling her what she would come home to, but there was no point in being cruel. Her life was her own now. Nothing to do with him.

The next day he hired the same crew plus a couple of their cousins. Two of the men started scraping, priming and caulking the front porch, door and windows. The rest were cleaning windows, walls, woodwork and floors. By mid afternoon, the women were finishing the cleaning. The place looked vastly better with clean windows, walls and floors. He had thought the bathroom and the powder room were trash, but the tile and fixtures, shorn of their grime, the art nouveau tiles came up like new! They were careful around the fire places, set with Mercer tiles. The place was a gem.

By evening, his stuff was moved in, the boxes emptied, and the refrigerator filled with food. After supper, he returned to what he now thought of as his wife's house for the last time, and left two copies of the divorce papers with 'sign here! Post its. He placed it on a kitchen chair as the table had been his grandmother's and was now in his house. His wedding ring on top of the divorce papers was a nice touch. Left a nice note, too. Nothing nasty.

Sunday the wife called at noon to see if he would pick her up at the Trenton train station. She was furious at being be told that he was too busy and she was on her own as he hung up on her and shut his phone off. She called an hour later and left a message saying she was taking Amtrak through to Philadelphia and would be home about nine PM. Chris was exhausted and took a shower and an afternoon nap. He turned his phone on at 8 PM.

The shit hit the fan at 9:30 Sunday night.

"Chris! Where the hell are you? What's this all about! You're asking for a divorce! What the Hell! What's the matter with you?"

"Hello Karen. How was your weekend. Did you have a nice time? Look, you know why the divorce, sign the things, they are reasonably fair and we'll be done with it."

"It was just a training course for my job... if you didn't want me to go you should have...

"Look, this is not something to talk about over the phone, and I'm not particularly eager to see you, but I suppose we need to talk face to face at some point.. Let's meet at the Robin Hood Pub at 8 PM Friday. I would appreciate it if you would refrain from contacting me until then."

She sounded hysterical
"I don't want a divorce! I don't want to wait until Friday. Where are you? What's the matter..."

Her words came out as an unpunctuated string of Babel.

"Look, I could give a shit about what you want. Friday 8 PM. Or never! And never's good for me too!"

He hung up and turned the phone off. He spent the last hours of the day reading a book, and looking at the moonlit yard. The bones of a lovely garden were out there in mature trees and shrubs, unkempt and over grown. The skeleton of his marriage clouded his mind.

He got home the next day at 4PM. During the day she called three times, as well as her mother and brother. Out of courtesy, he returned her mom's call. He wasn't particularly close to her, but she did have some brains although they weren't in evidence in this conversation. She reamed him a new asshole. Her daughter! Not allowed to go to a training class? He can't be so controlling etc. It was humorous, actually. When she wound down:

"Grace! Grace! Look, this isn't the first divorce you've been involved with is it?"

"No. but this is my..."

"Quiet a minute. If you've ever listened to one side of a divorce and then the other side, you'll have figured out that people don't necessarily tell you the whole truth? In my case, I'll tell you my side eventually, but nothing for now. It's for her and me to sort out. By all means, listen to her and be there for her, but I will tell you truly, she doesn't have a leg to stand on. So unless you want to talk about something else, I'll bid you good night."

She urged him to talk to Karen and said good night. He also returned her brother's call. He liked him, but didn't trust him.

"Hey Bro! So you moved out! Where you at?"

"I rented a place. I'm local, but no insult, but I really don't want to be bothered with visitors."

"I'm good with that. So why'd you dump her?"

"Well Ken, I'll tell you what I told your mom. I have good and sufficient grounds, but I'm not inclined to spread it around. There's two people that know why I bailed out of the marriage, and I'm not talking, so ask your sister."

"I did. She claims she's innocent."

"Far be it for me to break the bubble. Tell you what. Believe her. After all, she wouldn't lie to her family, would she? You have to deal with her for years to come, not me. Tell the family that l went nuts, or...whatever. Make me the goat! I don't really care. That said, while I doubt we'll be sharing a beer any time soon, tell the family, when we meet in the street, I'll be civil to all, including your sister. Look, I'm about to start supper. Take care, and thanks for calling."

Chris checked her e mail account. 'Son of a bitch!' he thought. She and Roy were discussing what he might know, how he might have found out about what was going on, and how to spin him. Which in a way was good for Karen. Had she dumped Roy, it wouldn't have affected their soon to be extinguished marriage, but then she wouldn't have a horny male to talk to during the divorce process.

His spare time that week was spent outside, working on the carriage shed that now contained the work shop. It really had been unsafe, waiting for a good wind storm to drop it. He had to cable it and pull it into square before the braces, gussets and some structural pieces could go in to keep it upright. It was slow, careful work, as a mistake could bring the whole thing down on his head.

Think the job through. Measure twice, install come-alongs and temporary braces. It took his mind off of the troubles. While he affected a nonchalance about the destruction of the marriage, it was largely a facade to the world. Laughing on the outside, crying on the inside about summed it up.

The phone calls tapered off as the week went by. Why bother to call if no one will answer? He was dreading the meeting. Like hitting your thumb with a hammer, you see the blood under the nail. You know you have to chuck a small drill in the drill press, put your throbbing thumb under the spinning bit and carefully pull the handle and drill a relief hole in the thumb nail. A bit of hurt now saves a lot later.

Friday night he had a nice supper at an Indian restaurant, and wandered into the pub at 8:10 to find Karen waiting. She dolled herself up, but her finger nails were fake. He guessed she was chewing them again.

"Oh Chris. I am so glad to see you. Where are you living?"

"My Dad bought a tumble down place in Lambertville. I moved in while I fix it up...gives me something constructive to do. Idle hands the devil's workshop and all that. Speaking of workshop, your expense account go through all right for the Tricks of The Trade Training course up there? I bet you got a good grade."

"They don't give grades for commercial courses. Of course the expense account went through. Why wouldn't it? Look, I don't know what got into you, but I, for one, don't want a divorce! Why are you doing this to me?"

"Shame sucking up the teacher didn't do you any good then. I would think you might assume I'm reacting to what you did to me. Doesn't that seem logical?"

"I didn't do anything to you! All I did was go to a training class! So what!"

"So I must be mistaken? OK either way. The reasons don't really matter. Chalk it up to an excuse on my part. Sign the divorce papers, and let's not waste time mouthing lies. Mail the damn things to my lawyer, you've got the envelope. We'll talk again when he gets them. Meanwhile I got work to do.

You find everything you need about the house. I left the bills and stuff in the desk?"

"Chris. Forget the house, forget the bills. I'm serious. Why the sudden demand for a divorce."

"Why...I hear you're telling people I don't satisfy you in bed. You have to fake orgasms. Our sex life is boring. I thought I'd be a nice guy and save you having to be furtively fucking around. Make you more respectable. And you give me shit for it. Not fair by half!"

"Chris! Who is filling you head with such shit! I've never faked an orgasm with you in my life! Our sex life is fine!"

I held my hand up.

"Let's end the bullshit. I could play cat and mouse with you, but frankly you're not worth the effort. You've been fucking around on me. We both know it. There was no god damn training course in New York. You had the fucking gall to let me, Mr. Goodhusband the cuckold, deliver you to your lover for a dirty weekend. You think there would be no consequences for that?"

"What on earth made you think that! It's preposterous!"

"I don't blame you for trying to lie your way out of it. In your place I would probably try that too. I'm just glad you've found someone you want to wear the Teddy and the slave bracelet for. Shame to have nice things and not enjoy them."

"Oh so that's what is bothering you! I brought it along for you, but I was too sick to be able to do anything with it like I wanted to."

"You silly cunt. You've never been good thinking on your feet. You didn't know I was taking you to the hotel until we were half way there.

Look, when I was getting my stuff, I put all the house related papers in that envelope. Hang on to them. And by the way, this month's mortgage is due."

"The hell with the house. I am not fucking around! I don't know who told you, but it's not true."

"The mortgage and the house is in your name. Don't pay it and you loose the house. It's tedious to argue when you're unreasonable. Let's go back to what I said earlier. You told someone that I didn't satisfy you in bed and you had to frequently fake orgasms with me. Think a moment. I rather think you only told that to one person... Remember who?"

The blood drained out of her face.

"Chris, I'm so sorry! How long...when did...why didn't you say something?"

"The proof of a person's honor is what they do when they think no one's looking. As to letting you do it, my brand of religion believes in free will. God gave you free will to choose. Temptation is on all sides, and we all have to choose. I can't compel you to be honorable. You have to want to be faithful. I did say quite a bit, but as you were convinced I was ignorant of your adultery, my comments and discussion went right over your head.