All Comments on 'Will I Ever Make Him Mine?'

Hot story, now she has him I hope she can keep him. Please write some more of how they progress as a couple and make some babies.

A proof reader for proper grammar would have (if they're good) easily earned you five stars. I really liked your story of love, caring, sharing, even though the ending was quite predictable. After all, the assigned genre dictated it. I'd gladly read sequels if you would (please!) share.

I am trying to write close to incest stories. A father finds out that he is a stepdad after his hateful wife tell him and her daughter that he was not the one who fathered her. This changes everything for the two of them who have been very close.

The Mom is a bitch and they find love and affection and sex to keep them both healthy and happy.

I want to take readers through their relationship expanding.

Would you be interested n helping with my stories and keep yours cumming.

carygrant_69@Hotmail.com

I see a few comments in which the writer criticizes your verb usage, etc.

JUST WRITE - don't worry about grammar. You have a good talent. I enjoyed the story very much.

True love comes through the story. Quite a few siblings have similar feelings but keep them hidden. It can be a wonderful relationship with the strongest of bonds.

nice tale but no ending. maybe they could move to a place where no one knows

them.

What a tender love between to individuals.

I was a little worried when she agreed to the date with the asshole Josh. I thought maybe you would allow the rape before NIck got there. Then he beat the crap out of the asshole. I am glad you did not let Josh take her cherry.

Are you going to add a future story when they moved to another town and were able to be together?

If they move to another town to carry this on let’s hope he stops calling her “sis” and she stop reminding him that he is her big brother. People pick up on that stuff really quick. There is an atmosphere of doom creeping in around them. She seems to stay home all day and that will soon show on her body. The gym is more necessary in modern life than it ever was in our parents time. If only she was a happy in herself type of girl definitely committed to impaling herself on his long dick. And,if only he didn’t have that doom feeling that something is going to happen. The vibes around these two spell trouble ahead.

It sure seems like true love to have the sexy older brother Nick fall for Nysa -- he is more mature, and takes things slow enough. Love his appearance -- the "slightly hairy chest,", the abs, and big cock just waiting to fill her up. He is tender, caring, affectionate, sexy. What more could she want! Please write more! They can be married and loving each other all life long!

I liked your story, it was sweet and somewhat believable. Please do improve your grammar - it will make your stories easier to read. You should also make your dialogue more natural - in places it was too stiff and formal, and use contractions where possible.

My criticism is not intended to be anything more than constructive. A good author wants to improve his/her abilities to tell a story and grammar is a big part of the craft. One comment told you to ignore grammar - please ignore him/her.

Thank you for sharing your story.

Please continue the love

I can't even begin to tell you how much I enjoyed this story of incestuous love. I know from experience the deeper love between family members. I had a 9 yr. incest love with my aunt and even now 49 yrs later I feel the love we had just like it was yesterday. Oh my! what a lovely woman she was. I would love to write the story someday but I was underage for most of our love life so posting it online would get my thrown off the website.

ingredient to best and hottest erotic stories ever told is.......love;-)

Nice

Love the story. AAAAAA++++++

Wonderful story! Loved it!

Great love story.