All Comments on 'Will You? Ch. 01'

please carry on with the story

I enjoyed the pace and explanation in this story. I enjoyed the connection that the girls seemed to have from moment they met. I hope you continue with this story.

Lovely, well-written story. Very well-defined characters. Pip's transformation is believeable. Strike the last (redundant and obvious) sentence and its perfect.

Like so many good and wonderful things in life, you invested time in developing your very believable characters. Their differences played well as they got to know and desire each other. Fortunately, your writing skills stayed strong through the romantic sexual encounter, showing us their caring yet passionate exchange. I think that the women have more time for their holiday. You could let them share it with us. Or if you have another idea, I"m sure it would make for interesting reading, too. Please write more.

I enjoyed the slow pace/seduction of Pip by Beth. I hope you continue this story.

I'm so jealous of the slow and gentle seduction and tender lovemaking these women experienced. My own encounters with strangers and even lovers have usually been too fast and furious to really enjoy. They just want to cum as quickly as possible, with no tenderness. Please keep writing these kinds of stories, I slowly stroked myself throughout and relished licking my cum from my hand as they shared their cum.

I loved the build up to this, I really wish I could actually experience this...I'm a young lesbian (sorta in the closet) and I'm interested in an older straight woman, I visit her very often, I always wonder if she knows how I feel...oh well, Love this story :)

This is such a well developed & erotic love story. It's a definite must read & I can only hope you continue this story forward so we can see their relationship grow.

The thing I like about stories like this is that it's....well an actual story, not just a quickie and done. Being able to know the relationship between the girls makes it all the better and much more interesting. very nice story. Hope to see more

really liked this story please continue it liked the fact it was a proper story not just one or two pages gives you time to relate to the characters

Thank you all for your very kind feedback. With this being my first story I was very nervous about posting it so your kind words have really boosted my confidence.

Rest assured there is more to come for Beth and Pip, chapter 2 is in progress. I have to admit I am a slow writer so please bare with me.

Thank you all again.

I can't remember when I read a story like this! So effen wonderful! The tease, the build up, the seduction! Oh, my! Its so heavenly. What a refreshing departure from the "wham, bam, Thank you bitch" crap that is thrown up here! Thank you, thank you!

Hope you post more, But first let me catch my breath! I am soaked

AMAZING!!!!!!! is this seriously your first story?

That was so great. I'm really and truly impressed. Very well written and INTENSELY hot. Looking forward to more!!!

A truly exceptional story, and one of the best on here for a long time. Perfect pace and the build up was sublime. What I really like is that it was so believeable (unlike many) and when it happened it was sensual and tasteful. Please keep writing!

Imagine how good it would have been if this wasn't ur first story

We need more - do they live close to each other after holiday????

Brilliant! As a first effort this is exceptional. Well-paced, believable, honest ... don't stop writing! Give yourself time to take a second pass through your story and take out words that seem to slow the telling. But don't lose your passion or honesty, they're what make this story so terrific.

This one does & so does her red friend. Great story, looking forward to reading Ch2

No Ch. 2 yet?? :(

I have read a few stories on this site but yours is one of my favorites. I am really looking forward to Chapter 2. I will have to check back often to see what happens next (I have only visited this site once a few months back....but now you've got me hooked.

So sorry this is taking longer than I thought. Truth of the matter is that there has been a very interesting development in my personal life that has left me with little time to write ;) But rest assured, chapter 2 is in progress and will be with you soon(ish).

Looking forward to more!

My kind of story. Please continue this type.

Love this story! please continue!

For a first effort (or any effort for that matter!)...great job. I loved it. So hot, sweet and erotic in turns. Please continue. We are all waiting w/baited breath. ;-)

Good thing I'm not the writer...make that "bated breath".

Excellent story. Some spelling errors, but otherwise excellently written More!

Beautifully done! I loved the build up... not too fast, but not too slow either, with a sweet and sexy scene to end it. Loved every second of it! Please give us more!

A really lovely story to read. Great mix of eroticism and detail.

Please find time for chapter 2! (And more!)

Just wanna know of your ever gonna write another chapter to this. I see it's been a few years since you wrote this.

I love when I read such a well written story! If you ever come back, please write part two...

Thank you!

L

This is a very good first effort: far better the slow-burn, giving the reader a chance to know the characters, than diving straight into the sex. There were a few careless spelling errors (some could be typos, I suppose) and punctuation errors but nothing to detract too strongly from the story. But will there ever be a Chapter 2? It's almost four years now and you can lose loyal readers very easily if you keep them waiting. If you intend a second chapter, then sooner is better than later.

This was a great story, well written. I wish you would extend it another chapter or two though. Thank you for sharing it with us!

I concur. Please share with us your vision of how they're coupling evolved. I'm sure while composing these 1st 4 pages you had started imagining how to conclude there story.

Though this is not the way.

5🌟's

Please come back with more.

This was a very good and sensual story. I don't think we will get another chapter though. It's been almost six years now. Redinabed, I hope you're okay and can read these comments. I would certainly love to read what happened next with these two young ladies. Great story.

Great first story; so disappointed there isn't a 2d (or 3d? 4th?) chapter. Will we ever read more of Beth & Pip?

WOW!!

Amazed there aren't more comments, and you've never written anyhting else...

Pip's fantastic 1st time, and Beth...not just a squirter, but a gusher...from 2-3 times/day, to nothing, and then to the moon by her 1st time 18 yo wonder

the 1st page 'afraid she was going to drip...' made me think this was going to be something really special

This story was sweet and touching. I find more joy in a story that gives more meaning than just 2 or more people fulfilling an urge. Also for me personally I would have had a hard time not smacking the drunken asses for scaring and traumatizing that poor girl. Would love to have read more from this gifted mind.

Such a shame Redinabed never submitted anything else. This was really nice. Writing style not 100%, but such lingering attention to the details of lovemaking: that's so erotic and rewarding.

I guess, no real point in commenting.

But for other writers, take note. THIS is how it's done!

That was wonderfully delightful! Thank you so much

A really good story. There has to be a continuation.

You are so talented. What a story. 12 years is a long time to wait for chapter 2, but we can still hope.

Really great story. Thank you for this.

Toni NZ

I read a lot of lesbian erotica and quite honestly this is one of the very best I've read in a long time

Excellent.

Excellent!

Lovely, well-written story. I don't know what else to say but, Chapter 2 of the story WHEN???