All Comments on 'Wilson Peak Pt. 04'

I enjoy that you are trying to tell a story rather than just describe a fuck fest. I also understand the technique of telling two time differentiated stories in one. However, because of the two stories and the short chapters, it is a bit frustrating that the story does not move on more in each chapter.

I agree with 3634, the chapters are a little too short. Maybe it's because you have to ration the time you can devote to your writing in your own busy life.

Your love making in this chapter is an object lesson in how to ensure a woman will be always come back for more. Realy good technique.

What happened to Eve? Suddenly we've got two new ladies.

I must admit, I don't care for the two plots - the RV backstory and the Wilson Peak adventure - alternating back and forth in the text. It makes it more difficult to concentrate on the main plot line. Otherwise, it's a nicely written story.

Looking back I see the chapters are too short and the dual stories have become confusing. Although I outlined the story when I started so I know where at least the main story is going, the background story has taken on a life of it's own and I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it.

In any case, it will be a while before I post another chapter because I've become very busy and I want the next one to be longer and begin to bring this to a conclusion.

I don't find the dual stories too hard to follow, and like the backstory that helps define the 'current' one.

Readers are correct, however, that a single page is too short, just short of enough to become invested in the current chapter. It tends to lead to frustration instead of appreciation. Run it up to 2-3 pages, and that will be appreciated more.

Well written sex scene, but now curious which story is going to be the one to follow.