Wine and Spirits

"Sarah...look..." he implored, pointing at the table. "I bought some red wine for you. Won't you please just stay long enough for one drink?"

"I'm sorry, Nick. I don't drink when I'm sad—you know that. The day you tell me you're moving on...maybe I'll have that drink then."

"Don't go, Sarah. Please don't."

"Good night, Nick."

She was halfway to the door before he'd even pulled himself away from the table. He chased after her, calling her name. "Sarah...stop...please"

Lily stepped slightly in his path as he approached. "Nick, I'm so sorry..."

He paused, but only for a second. "I can't talk right now, Lily. I just...I can't talk..." Then he hurried to the front door, pushed it open and looked both ways up and down the street for Sarah—but she was already gone.

Lily watched him leave the bar, helpless to stop him, and didn't hear Eddie come up behind her.

"Still say you don't have a thing for him?" he teased.

"Oh, fuck off, Eddie!" She snapped, watching Nick disappear into the night as the door closed behind him. Then she wiped her tears as she spun around to face Eddie. "And you need to stop drinking on the clock if you want to continue working here. Maybe then you won't be such an ass to me all the time."

"Oh, come on. You know you won't fire me," he spouted callously. "Doc's proviso, remember?"

"Oh god, I so can't deal with you right now. Just...fuck you, Eddie...you insensitive shit..."

Lily almost ran to the back, then unlocked the back door that led to her loft above the bar. She knew she'd overreacted to Eddie's ribbing and part of her regretted it already. But he didn't need to play the whole 'I told you so' game with her, especially with such terrible timing. And he really did need to stop with the drinking, too, though she knew that wasn't the right way or time to address that either.

Eddie watched Lily run off, unsure what to do. He felt he should do something, but felt even stronger that he'd just screw it up if he tried. Even when he was only trying to kid a little bit, to lighten the mood, he still managed to blow things up. He leaned against the back wall and cursed himself for being so...himself.

He looked across the bar at the remaining guests; only a couple of them seemed to have even noticed the scene they'd made.

Damn, this is a strange place.

The following Friday, Lily waited in anticipation for Nick to arrive. She wrung her hands together nervously and jumped every time the bell hanging above the door rang out to announce someone arriving.

Eddie noticed, but didn't say anything. Even if he wanted to, he wouldn't know what to say. Besides, they'd barely spoken all week; now seemed like a bad time to try.

Still, he felt bad for her. Lily always seemed so all-together. But she was falling apart over the man at the corner table. He started to wonder if this Nick character was really so messed up that he didn't notice her, or maybe, he was just an idiot.

Lily popped up from behind the bar, just in time to see Doc walking in. "Oh, Doc. I didn't hear you come in, but hey, I'm so glad to see you." She rushed to meet him. "Do you have a minute? I could really use some time with you." She spoke quickly and sounded a little bit desperate.

He shrugged and waved his hand apologetically. "I'm so sorry, Lily-bug. I really wish I could. But I'm actually here for someone else."

"Oh...yeah...I understand...provisos..." Her heart sank.

Doc had told her this would happen and that it would be hard, but this was one of those things she'd agreed to that she didn't think would be a problem, until now.

Doc made his way to the bar and waved Eddie over to him with a single flick of a finger.

Eddie wiped his hands with a towel and headed over. From the look on Doc's face, he fully expected a lecture was awaiting him. He hadn't seen Doc for a couple of weeks. Still, he wondered if someone had told him about the previous Friday night's events.

"Hi, Doc," he offered tentatively. "You look upset."

"Disappointed, son. Just disappointed."

Eddie lowered his head in shame. "So, I guess you know about last Friday?"

"Yeah, I heard."

"Did Lily tell you about it?"

"No, not Lily. One of our regulars. A few of us run in the same circles these days."

"I see." He didn't actually see anything. He felt like the same wayward idiot in that moment as he'd been that first night he'd met Doc and nearly every day since.

"I need you to do something for me, Eddie."

"Sure, anything," he promised before even hearing what it was. Anything to get back in Doc's good graces and hopefully, eventually, Lily's.

"I need you to lay off the juice."

"Oh." He wasn't expecting that, though it had actually been a long time coming. In fact, once it sunk in, he was partly surprised Doc hadn't brought it up until now. He mulled it over a few seconds. "Doc, I don't want you to think I don't want to...but I'm not sure I can."

"Non-negotiable."

"Doc, I'm sorry about upsetting Lily last Friday, but..."

"No, son. This isn't about Lily—not completely, anyway. Listen, people drink for lots of reasons, but most of the time it's because they want to forget something—a long week at work, bad finances, a mountain of stress, a loss. Countless reasons, right? But haven't you noticed there's never any drunks in my bar?"

"Actually, yeah. It's weird."

"Oh, I know it's not typical. Trust me. The point is people don't come to my place because they want to forget, Eddie. Don't you see? They come here because they don't want to. Alcohol gets in the way, son. That's why I said no karaoke machine, no decorations, no televisions playing sports twenty-four seven. All that stuff, it all gets in the way."

"Gets in the way of what? I'm sorry, Doc, I'm trying...I really am...but I just don't understand. I mean, I hear you saying I need to lay off the drinking and I get that, but the rest of the stuff you said..."

"I'm not sure how to explain it, but it's whatever they're trying to work through. Maybe it's something keeping them back, some unfinished business they're trying to settle. Maybe they just need a nudge—some encouragement or something. I really don't know. Everyone's different, right?"

"The point is, what we do here is almost like a ministry to the folks who find us. This place helps people and you get to be a part of it. Not to mention, you even make a livable wage doing it. But, Eddie, just...trust me, okay? The drinking is getting in the way. It messes with your perception, your ability to make right decisions and good judgement calls. Like last week when you apparently picked the worst possible time to take some jabs at Lily."

"But Doc, I'm really sorry about that..."

"No. just...stop. Don't be sorry, son—be better."

"Yessir."

"No more drinking on the clock. Got it? If you can stop the drinking, you just might perceive better. And maybe then, what we do here will start to make some sense to you. And perhaps, you'll also be able to find your way."

"Yessir."

"Good, now the other thing..."

"There's more?"

"Just one more thing and I promise, it's simple."

"Okay?" He only sounded nervous because he was.

"You need to apologize to Lily."

Shit! Eddie's face went pale. "Doc, I can't."

"What do you mean you can't? Do you regret what you did?"

"Well, yeah."

"Do you wish you hadn't done it?"

"Of course I do."

"And do you want to make things right, as much as you can, anyway?"

"Yes, sir." He could see where this was heading, but it still scared him. It really wasn't a question of his desire.

"Then what's the problem?"

"I...I'm just so stupid..." He grabbed at his hair. "Doc...I don't know how. Whatever I do or say, I'm going to mess it up, I'll make it worse. I just know I will. I'm such an idiot."

"Well, first of all, you're not an idiot; you just keep getting in your own way. Second, you need to do this and my advice is you should say exactly what you just said to me."

"What? That I'm stupid?"

"Actually that might help, now that you mention it." He smiled. "Just keep it simple, son. Tell her you're sorry. Tell her you feel stupid, if you want. Tell her you're afraid you'll make things worse if you say anything more. Then walk away."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"Okay, Doc...I will." Eddie looked around for Lily, finding her standing at the corner table. Nick apparently snuck in while he'd been talking with Doc.

She was about to start talking to Nick, keeping her hands at her side and rubbing her legs as she tried to muster some courage.

Eddie knew his apology would have to wait.

"Hey Nick, can I talk to you a minute?" she asked timidly.

"Sure, but I'm not mad, if that's what you're wondering."

"You're not?"

"No. it's just...it was a rough night, last Friday."

"Yeah, I know. I wish I could make it better."

"Yeah, well, me too."

"I think I can help, though...maybe...if you'll let me."

"If you think you can get her to come back to me, I highly doubt it. So, what do you mean, Lily? Help me, how?"

"Well, for starters, I thought we could just talk a little bit. It doesn't have to be about anything specific, just...anything. The weather even...or sports...so long as you don't mind that I know, like, nothing about sports. Or if you don't want to talk, we could just sit together...play a board game...do a jigsaw puzzle...like old people. Anything, really. I just don't want you to sit here all by yourself. It's not good to be alone. Besides, you'd be helping me, too."

"Well, that's nice of you, Lily. It is. But I'm on thin ice with Sarah already. Not to be rude, but would you mind..."

"Right...don't want to be seen with a pretty girl, still?" she managed to tease, even though she felt overwhelmingly dejected. "You know most guys would never say something like that even once their entire lives."

"Yeah...I suppose not...I guess I'm not exactly normal, am I?"

"I didn't mean it in a bad way. It's actually one of the reasons I like you." She waited to see if he'd give her even a tiny indication that he'd heard her say she liked him, but he didn't. "Well...I'll go get your usual, then, okay?"

He nodded without saying anything.

Eddie was waiting for her when she finally reached the bar. "Hey, Lily?"

"Yeah?"

"Um, I have something to say...but..." he stopped speaking, as if he'd completely forgotten how to talk.

"Well, can you make Nick's drinks while you're thinking about it?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah...Red wine and...dammit, what's the other one? No, don't tell me..."

Even if he got it wrong, she was impressed. He was at least trying—something she hadn't really seen him do before.

"Okay, can you help me?"

"Fuzzy Navel," she said flatly.

"Dammit, yeah, that was it. And a water."

He made short work of the drinks but didn't want her to leave quite yet. "Hold up, Lily. Listen...you know how I'm always an idiot?"

"Excuse me?"

"That came out wrong. What I'm trying to say is...I'm sorry...about last Friday...I really am...and if I try to say anything else, I'll screw it up." He looked over at her. "And that's it."

"Okay? I'm not sure what to make of this, but...okay."

"Okay?...Really?"

"Yeah..." She gave him a reassuring smile. "Okay."

From that night on, Lily noticed Eddie slowly changing—bearing the marks of his mentor, Doc. She no longer worried so much about his interactions with customers, though to be fair, that might have been because every time she looked back at the bar, she saw Doc right there coaching him.

It reminded her of the times Doc had spent with her, too, doing much the same thing. I wonder if I was as tough a project as Eddie. God, I hope not.

It was another Friday night, and Lily had made up her mind to do something about 'the Nick situation.' She just hoped it would work.

Right on time, he showed up. It had been two weeks since Sarah had visited. By her own unscientific estimates, it might be another month before she showed up again. She'd be shocked if she made another appearance so quickly from the last time—It just wouldn't match her pattern.

Nick had barely situated himself when Lily arrived with his usual drinks. This time she didn't say anything to him. Not a word. She simply set the drinks on the table, then walked back to the bar.

"Are you okay?" Eddie asked, having noticed her return so quickly.

"What do you mean?

"Well, you normally stay there and try to chat him up. Is something wrong?"

"Well, I'm impressed that you noticed. I can tell you've been paying attention to Doc. Seems like he's starting to rub off on you."

He looked blankly at her, still waiting for her to answer his question.

"That was a compliment, by the way."

"Oh...uh, thanks...but seriously, is something wrong?"

"Okay, fine." Her attempt to distract him and not actually answer his question failed. "Yes, everything's okay. I'm just trying something new with Nick tonight."

"What? The silent treatment? I had to break it to you, Lily, but that's been around awhile."

"Well, no. Not exactly. But I figure he should make the first move this time. I'm just going to make him a little uncomfortable until he does."

"What if..." he hesitated, "...never mind."

"What if what, Eddie?"

"Well, what if he doesn't...make the first move?"

"Yeah. I thought about that...If he doesn't...well, I guess that tells me what I need to know, right? That he really isn't interested."

"Yeah...well...I hope he's not that stupid."

"What do you mean?"

"I just mean, I hope it works."

"Yeah, me too...and thanks. Here goes nothin'."

She made her way back toward Nick's table, but detoured at the last second to take a seat at the table next to him. She had already planted a pile of paperwork there, along with some headphones to plug into her phone. She sat in the chair nearest to him, but facing away. Then she put her headphones on and pretended to be listening to some music.

Nick had watched her walking back from the bar. He was expecting her to at least say 'Hi' and offer a listening ear which, of course, he would then graciously turn down. It was their thing, after all, so it threw him off that she'd said literally nothing at all.

Eye contact was never a thing between them either. He typically wouldn't even look up at her when she spoke. He now realized how rude that was. He wondered if she'd tried to make eye contact with him tonight because he wouldn't have known it if she had.

He had a look of bewilderment on his face, as if maybe he'd walked into the wrong bar. Everything felt different, unfamiliar, without Lily's usual attempts at conversation.

Eddie watched from the bar, barely containing his laughter. He thought it was comical, absurd really, that Nick looked so confused...so surprised. Of all the things to find strange in this place, this guy only notices that she didn't say 'Hi'? I'd say it's working, Lily. Way to go! He smiled, then grabbed a clean glass and started rewashing it, just so it looked like he was busy. Doc was indeed rubbing off on him.

Nick started to turn around, to face Lily, but stopped. A minute later, he did it again. Finally, without turning at all, he tried talking to her.

"Umm...Lily?"

She heard him clearly, but didn't answer—pretending to be listening to music on her phone when, in reality, they weren't even plugged in. She smiled.

Nick wasn't even monitoring the door, like he normally did. Instead, he was still looking around the bar, as if trying to get his bearings. He noticed Eddie behind the bar and even that caused him to feel uncomfortable because, instead of the glare he was used to seeing from the bartender, he thought he caught Eddie smiling.

"What's going on?...Um...Lily?..." He tried again.

Still no response.

"What's happening?"

She almost giggled out loud.

Finally, he rotated around in his seat—still not actually facing her—just enough to be able to see her with his peripheral vision. He noticed her headphones and the pile of paperwork.

"Hey, Lily?...Can you hear me?"

She grabbed an envelope and ripped it open, pulling out the letter from inside it, still pretending to be in her own world. She started wondering how long to keep the ruse going. She'd already felt like it was a success, but she wanted more. Perhaps she wanted him to squirm a little...maybe let it sink in that he'd been taking her for granted.

"Lily?...Lily! Lily! Lily!...Abracadabra!...Boo!"

Still no reaction.

"Tickle, tickle, tickle...Coochie coo..."

Nothing at all, though hearing him speak with a baby-talk voice nearly caused her to snort.

"Watermelon...Cantaloupe..."

She felt like a pressure cooker about to explode with laughter. What in the world is he doing?! What's with all the word salad?

"You really can't hear me?"

Part of her wanted to say "Nope" out loud, just to bring it all to an end and in a funny way. But she somehow resisted the urge.

"Well, in that case..." he paused, as if gathering some courage. "I really have wanted to talk to you."

You have? she silently replied.

"Truth is...I've wanted to...to see you, too"

Lily was ecstatic that she hadn't blown her cover yet. This was going better than she could have ever planned.

"I just...I feel like I'm cheating, just talking to you or...or...when I look at you."

You look at me?

"You're funny...and kind...and pretty...and...se..." he stopped in mid-word.

What?! Keep going, you jerk. Don't stop THERE!

"Pomegranate!" he nearly shouted.

A woman at another table looked over at him and shot him a scowl.

"Sorry, ma'am," he apologized.

The woman turned back around and resumed mumbling something to herself.

Lily was almost crying. She felt like a little girl sitting in church, being told to be quiet while trying to hold in the giggles which, of course, only made things worse. But she also felt her internal laughter starting to mix with something else. Acceptance? Happiness? RELIEF?

"Lily?" his whisper seemed to pierce the room louder than his near-shout did just a moment earlier. "I also think...I think you're sexy."

Her jaw dropped, and so did the ink pen she had in her hand—banging loudly on her table, then quickly rolling to the edge and onto the floor, where it bounced loudly again.

Nick whipped around in his seat and faced the door. Shit! Did she hear me that time?!

She used her feet to drag the pen closer to her, then leaned over to pick it up—successfully maintaining the ruse that her headphones were plugged into her phone. To reinforce the deception, she started humming as if she liked the song that was playing. She heard him exhale a deep breath. Oh, good. I think he bought it.

She waited several minutes, occasionally humming along to music that wasn't even playing, until she finally finished opening all the envelopes she'd dumped on the table. Then she leaned back in her chair and made a show of taking off her headphones and tossing them on her table.

"Hey, Lily?" he called to her quietly, almost as if they were sitting in a library.

"Oh hey, Nick," she answered quietly, matching his volume and tone and acting as if this was the first thing she'd heard him say to her.

"Um...I'm sorry..."

"Sorry?...What for?"

"Well, I know you've been trying to be my friend and...I've not been letting you."

"Yeah," she didn't know what else to say. Besides, she agreed with him.

"I think...I'd like to talk to you...if your offer still stands, anyway."