by hari459
use proper grammar for fucks sake... if you cant speak english dont post.
STOP THIS TORTURE.i FEEL VIOLATED AFTER READING YOUR STORY.DO SOMETHING ELSE IN YOUR SPARE TIME AND LEAVE US ALONE.
I think that you have made a fantastic effort in writing this story. Your English is better than my Hindi will ever be. Ok so it isn't perfect but I was able to understand the plot and if you keep writing and reading in English it will get better. As for the story I found it hot. Keep up the practice.
i certainly would like to encourage this effort.
your story was excellent....enjoyed it very much.
But do use the incentive to be able to post good stories as a reason to improve your english !!
learn how to spell in english..... your story makes no sense and its hard to understand.. your story was tha hardest storie too read and was dumb..
If that passes off as a story, I really wonder about Literotica's diving standards. No punctuation, a weak construction and an abysmal story line - what more do you want? Can't the editors find anything better?
Ass! You cant write for nuts. just stop writing. its such a torture. and u call that english????
you are full of shit you aint 9 inches and you never lasted 1:45. your story telling sucks you sound like you stole about 7 other stories and bastardized them all.
stori teling needs no languej lesons nor speling either. it is the fancy erotica to harden the kok that is enuf.
Forget the english, this piece of shit posted is absolutely useless. Hari459 u r an ASSHOLE.
whi did u hav 2 tuch her stomak? it is funny wht tarns sum peopl on.
dude, first thing you need to learn is english before using sick expressions.
Sorry but thumbs down to this story.
Pathetic imagination of a kid who has to learn a lot about sex
wow im ammazed this is all supposed to be fiction but at least make it seem real my 5 year ol can come up with a better story than this.
get some life you faqhead...you are one dumb son of a bitch,,,
saalae madrasi kyo India ki beizzati kara raha hai.ja kae maa chuda maderchod.