All Comments on 'With Regards to Michael'

Great story with a bloodless burn. Another incredibly stupid wife, who never knew what hit her. Glad you took the time to get her lovers also. Love the Godfather references. Stand by for the experts here to tell you your revenge couldn't happen. Don't sweat the details, just write more stories.

Absence of dialogue didn’t diminish the story at all. Very effective. I also enjoyed “The Godfather” analogy. Quck and clean. Very enjoyable. Thanks.*****

Boring!! Compared to your other stories.

of what could be a good story.

Go back & finish it.

A story well told and delivered without recourse to a navy seal , gaggle of frat brothers or a ski mask plus baseball bat ........ and all the better for it .

It was a really good outline for a story, but it could have been so much better with dialogue!

The wife's desperate pleas for forgiveness, then her shock and horror as she realises that he never forgave her... and he'd been waiting six years for his revenge. Tracy leaving the marriage broke and alone, stunned at being blindsided by his lengthy preparations. Meanwhile he's spent the last six years getting in shape and keeping an eye out for a replacement, so he moves in the beautiful young second wife into a luxurious new home. They start playing happy families, while the wife is left heartbroken and bitterly jealous.

You set up a ton of very emotional scenes which could have had a great payoff.

liked it very concise

the violence is not necessary if cheaters don t prosper and the wife and lovers didn t prosper

5* 10 hardons and a tingle in the loins

But I don't want to read too many very detached stories about emotional subjects.

As the author says the legal outcomes were very questionable but it's his story.

A bit more proofreading would have improved it a lot. 'discrete'? I don't think so-look it up.

. . . is the stories in which the offended husband has lost all of his love for his wife because she cheated, but he stays with her, continuing marital relations, until the kids are all over 18. Surely some slip ups in attitude and anger are going to show up over six years that expose the truth! Since he no longer loved her, but kept fucking her, you’d think he’d be able to understand “it’s just sex” as a concept a bit better.

If the unnamed main character can be as emotionless as is presented here — no demand for another STD test after his wife has her second affair — why does he even want a younger, more trustworthy wife? After all, Tracy — not Hooked1957’s Traci— had been trustworthy for sixteen years! How can he ever know?

Of course, the main character should have been wondering about his prowess in bed. After all, knowing that her husband might activate the divorce clauses if she cheated again, Tracy still had another affair, so the husband should be asking himself why.

Very novel approach.

5

PS: regardless what others are going to say: You have done WELL!

Interesting twist on story writing.

Well written and fairly realistic

Well... that was boring

Not sure why you decided to go without dialogue, but I don't think it was a good choice. You had the set-up for it.

You chose an unemotional route for this particular story, but I thought you explained it well.

I liked the overall revenge thing and thought it was pretty good.

I don't usually comment on how another writer puts his or her story together, but I felt this could have been really good with a little more thought.

Hooked

this marriage never was deep, intimate, or of any substance. This sounds like two foster parents who were actually just sharing housing, finances, and care of the children. And it sounds like it was like that from the beginning. Women don't fuck around for just sex. Tracy was looking for something outside her marriage that she wasn't getting in the marriage. After reading this cold calculated retribution and revenge can anyone else guess what Tracy was seeking?

I liked the patient clever method of allowing Tracy to hang herself while allowing the divorce to ripen into a financial punishment for her infidelity. And I suspect that if the husband had given any of the adulterers, including Tracy, the choice between a solid physical beating, or the financial and emotional shit storm he brought down upon them, they all would have gladly accepted the beating instead. Don Corleone would approve.

What weakened the story of course was, no Tracy. This was a book report, not a compelling dramatic unfolding story. I would have liked her to give voice and feeling to what she was seeking outside her marriage, and why. A sequel could be very interesting were she describes her loveless automaton husband, who runs their family like a well oiled machine, with him being the head robot. Tracy will probably end up with less money, but more love and happiness. Good for her.

So, well done, but not done with much emotion or interest. Good for him. I hope he enjoys the money. He shouldn't be surprised when after he remarries he finds his second wife married him for his money and his precise thinking. Its all he's got to bring to a marriage.

Thank you for writing this story.

This felt mechanical and linear. Stories that entice and make you want to reread them have surprises and plot points that change the direction of the story. Those didn't happen here.

Also, one reason (I think) that the LW category is popular is the emotional component. The broad range of emotions felt by the characters in cheating or cuckold stories are very powerful. Perhaps this was your plan? I have known finance professionals who were cheated on. They were a wreck. I didn't se that here.

Good story but not great.

There's a time and place for corporal punishment , and most importantly the ability to render such . Not everyman can physically do it , but in this case he got his in his own way . He can sleep with peace of mind that the slut and her Pricks paid a heavy price for their disrespect of his family and marriage.

Very good story .

*****

Why the decision to leave out dialogue? You had several scenes where it would have been easy to have dialog, instead you made a dull story duller by not having any.

By far one of the better LW stories in a while. My only suggestion would have been an epilogue a year or two post divorce that gives us a peek at how their lives turned out. Also, lack of dialogue made story sound a bit colder and impersonal but didn’t detract, so your experiment worked. 5 stars

I really enjoyed it, my only comment is that it could have been a little longer. I just wasn't ready to stop reading it.

Good story

Okay he won financialy in the divorce. But keep this slut around to long. How can you get up in the morning and have a civil marriage knowing your wife spreads for others.

If you had included at least the reactions of her children, parents, friends, church people, and boss. Then a one liner about two more divorces. Sorry, but it just felt unfinished.

This was like going to a restaurant that has rave reviews, then eating the food and finding it's just bland. This seemed robotic, no dialogue means we only get one point of view, which tends to turn boring fast. Humans run on emotion, anger, fear and passion......he was too clinical, it became tedious.

I don’t have an opinion on the ideas in your story, but the delivery is absent almost any storytelling. It’s like a shopping list. “First I did this, then I did this, then when she saw that she did this, so I did this, the end.”

Dialog, characters, and a sense that a character has something to overcome (not just as in ‘they have a problem’ but as in ‘the challenge seems insurmountable’) are not mere decoration, but are in fact the building blocks of good storytelling

"Revenge is a dish best served cold". It took a while but it was civilized and devastating at the same time.

he went the right way to get back at the bitch smartman

Nothing here. No emotion, no insight to what the characters are thinking, no nothing. If you are not going to include dialogue then you at least have to let us see what they are thinking or what's behind their actions. This was just "EH," nothing there. You put no real work behind this at all. As a result I gave you a score that reflects that.

It is admirable that you wanted to write story without dialogue, but dialogue would spice up this otherwise dull rendition. Lack of dialogue made it clinical and ho hum.

YOU ARE NOT A FAVORITE ON THIS SITE NEVER HEARD OF YOU UNTIL NOW , READ YOUR OTHER WORKS OF💩. YOU HATE WOMEN THATS OK, YOUR REAL EX DID A NUMBER ON YOU.

Hey, You!

CRAZY PERSON! STOP SHOUTING.

Interesting narrative, TRYTSTYN.

4*

I like original. 5*

And again, a 'heads I win, tails you lose' story.

The interest is not the Godfather, or 'man wins for a change in divorce'.

It is the personal and emotional touch. Tragedy or comedy. Nothing bad happened to him, he wasn't at risk, and any emotional involvement in either person was left on the cutting room floor, unexplored.

I do more emotionally with a revelatory single sentence than this whole story did in an entire page.

This is a lie, of course. One needs to work hard to set up all the backstory, emotion and circumstance for that single sentence...but when that bit of dialogue comes up, it KILLS! This is not easy. Richard Gerald avoids these conversations because they are so hard to write and if they miss, they really miss.

I suggest that you investigate that possibility in your writing. Jezzaz is very good at that. So is oshaw.

I hope this is the first chapter of a multi-part novella. As soon as I finished it I wanted more. What happens to each of the participating characters? Just the quality of the writing suggest that more is in the tank.

Thanks!

But the telling of his plan fell flat. Dialogue puts the feelings and emotions into a story. Reading this story was like reading a shopping list. Good idea, bad execution.

You accpmplished what you set out to do. Different.

Now, how about redoing it with dialogue? I suspect that may be even better.

Anyway - thx!

Not bad.

Thanks for the story.

Cog

I don't care what others say. I liked it. Personally, I would have killed them all, but that's just me.

2. OR...and hear me out on this...far too many choose to live on the child support, often adding a slacker boyfriend to the mix, rather than supporting themselves and only spending the child support on the children as intended.

Good

Great story. A broken arm or leg would have been easier. A great revenge

I couldn't have waited out the 6 years. I'm simply not made that way. However for our protagonist, it did fit the character you built for him.

Just as a side note, i'm not a fan of the no-dialog, narrated style. To me, it feels more like a history text than a story. I'm not saying it's bad, just not what I like to read. However, 5* for good development and effort.

"YOU HATE WOMEN THATS OK, YOUR REAL EX DID A NUMBER ON YOU."

I loved this comment been married 35 years this May (2019) so what ex would that be? I don't have an ex wife or anything?

My wife is on a gluten free diet so today I made stuffed chicken using oatmeal (with onions and a little bacon) for dinner instead of bread stuffing (gluten free bread sucks) it is based on a old Scottish recipe. It was an experiment, much as writing a story without dialogue was. Learning to cook, wife has Parkinson's and it is hard for her now to do it, so I try new things. Same with writing I am trying different approaches to see how they do, not to provide you with something good to read, but to help teach me how to do it.

The chicken with oatmeal stuffing (fry some sage, basil, some green onion, butter, the add the oatmeal) was good, going to use it for pork chops next, the dialogue free story not so much. I wanted to show an emotionless man but it fell flat because if it. I have another one that is all dialogue, like a play, but that one is a little flat also.

I have a couple three others in the works and, yes, could use a editor or at least a proofreader.

Trystyn

Now this is revenge! Intellectual chess- and checkmate

The experiment with no dialogue worked well. But only a good writer could pull it off.

... the storyline was boring. So he suffered for several years in a loveless marriage? Well, plenty of marriages are loveless, so that’s not a big deal, but he suffered for 5 years waiting for the other shoe to drop. That’s beyond a loveless marriage. That’s like watching Poe’s pendulum swing above your belly. And he had (since you don’t say otherwise) suffered the last year and a half KNOWING she was cheating. That’s watching and feeling the pendulum’s knife edge slowly cut through the tissues of your belly a thin millimeter at a time.

No. Michael Corleone bided his time, but it was a fraction of the time spent here.

3-stars

At some point, you walk away. Good story.

No dialogue means dull, lifeless, and tedious. But it is fodder for the divorced men who are paying through the nose due to idiotic no-fault divorce laws, and it's good for them to get a boost every now and then. The legalities are questionable in any event. The wife's new lawyer would bust that old agreement to smithereens and Mr. New VP would be paying his ex, big time. Not to mention all the civil actions, and maybe criminal actions, too, from all the illegal snooping. Plus, most employers are going to avoid getting in the middle of a divorce unless one of the participants is fucking on the job on, company time. In other words, a boring legal fantasy.

Pherhaps your ex thought you were awesome in the sack — or at least that’s what she told you — but in this story Tracy was written not as a woman with a checkered past but having come into the marriage fairly innocently. Then she was faithful for sixteen years before her first known affair. It’s exposed, she doesn’t want a divorce, but, knowing everything could fall apart for her if she screws around again, she does so anyway.

It’s a common LW trope: the cheated upon husband asks if the boyfriend is better in bed or has a bigger dick. Obviously a lot of writers, and seemingly readers, think that a cuckolded husband would worry about that.

I like it, cold, calculated and you came out ahead, good story

The story overall was flat and emotionless. Even without dialogue his emotions could have been brought forward to make the story more realistic. Where was the devastation, the sorrow or the anger. No, I'll just draw up some documents and fuck her six years from now.

In the LW category most of what you wrote here is a cliche.

"What we don’t like is when tropes are predictable to the point of boredom. That’s when a trope becomes a cliche."

I usually complain about the low density of dialogue in a story but this one was an excellent production, The revenge was well done and satisfactory. Personally I would not have the patience, and would probably opt for the multiple orphan scenario,

"I decided Saturday would be D day, the day I would confront her."

Then, after the second discovery of an affair:

"Once again I chose a Friday night for our confrontation."

You were right in saying about your story that “It applies a lot of legal theory that is probably wrong ...”

I ignored the warning and read it anyway, which is on me. It was a fun premise and you’d been fair in making clear the legal ideas weren't realistic.

Unlike other commenters I didn’t mind the dryness brought by the lack of dialogue. The story was shorter than I prefer which I assume was the author's choice as even without dialogue he could have included details about the lives of the characters and chose not to.

Below I will document what he saved and what he lost to illustrate that it was futile.

In dollar terms she got exactly the same amount he would have paid her, except that he didn't pay her child support. However, he actually did pay child support as he was actually supporting his children all those years. The mistake LW authors, and some divorced men in general make is that somehow child support is going into her pocket. They forget those kids need to eat, be clothed, some entertainment money, extra bedrooms for housing, gas for transporting them around, music classes or sports activities, etc. Not to mention the one with custody has the additional burden to make sure their homeworks are done, the extra housework, the care for the children while the non-custodial parent has the free time to go to bars, date, etc.

So in dollar terms he paid her the same exact amount he would have paid back then. The only thing he gained was spending more time with the kids being in the house. For many men that truly love their kids this would be worth it. But from the story it seems his main goal was financial and in that case he gained nothing. If he divorced her 6 years earlier he would have gotten his bonuses and raises in the post-divorce years he wouldn't have had to share with her. His income and net worth would have gained the same amount as if he got divorced six years earlier.

What he lost was having to live and sleep with, what I'm assuming, a woman he loathed. Opportunity cost of 6 years of not being able to work on his future with a new woman, a new future independent of his wife. Of having peace of mind that he is not worrying that his wife is cheating on him again. Of going home to a woman he loves and trusts. That peace of mind and mental well-being is priceless.

Let's not forget too that there is a chance, and a good chance too, that a judge would deem the old seperation agreement invalid as too much time has expired and the numbers were drawn up based on old incomes and old considerations. Now he would have had to owe her more money based on his higher income, higher asset values, and longer marriage meaning longer maintenance.

This story, as most revenge stories, illustrates that the negative outcome for revenge is usually as steep on the perpetrator as the target.

Gave it 4 stars. I liked the plot but thought there could have been more to the story. This was more like an outline to me. Thank you for posting.

Boy, you sure do suck all the fun out of a good BTB. Gonna have to quit reading your epic comments. If you weren't on a beach in Calipornia, I would think that Johnadp was Donny Trump's LW account. Like Sir Don, you don't why away from bravado.

so so boring

many things can be accomplished, sometime in your favor, TK U MLJ LV NV

many things can be accomplised, sometime in your favor, TK U MLJ LV NV

Whenever someone, usually an Anon, bitches about my comments, I remind them that I have an ID, please feel free to skip them.

I suggest that you do as I TRY to do (not always successfully, I admit!) and skip over those commenters that annoy you.

Enjoyed and feel revenge is definitely necessary when cheated on like that . When they went for council it should have been explained her why she did it . It’s just sex I get after you start but what about the emotional affair that leads up to the fucking. I think if he told her he would send all pics and videos to everyone they knew and worked with she might go along with anything he wanted. I don’t think I could’ve stayed and been able to have sex with her. I might’ve suggested that she could do as she wanted and both have separate lives until the kids were older . He was going to pay for college any way so over six years he could’ve met someone else refied the house to the max and drains his work retirement plan as much as possible. Show a gambling habit and blame it on her hotel room fuck fest for six years that depressed you . Many stay together so they can be with their kids even if their marriage is toast, sad but true. Interested in your next stories.

Sorry that I pointed out that the only BTB he exerted by delaying the divorce was on himself. If their assets on seperation date was a total of $500,000 he paid her $250,000 6 years later just like he would have if he divorced on day one.

Either way his assets and income would have grown substantially over the following 6 years so he would have financially been in the same place. He didn't want to save his marriage as he hooked up his wife with a counselor that affirmed that her cheating was justified.

So how was this any BTB, any more than if he simply divorced his wife on day one? His wife still got to fuck around and test the waters if there is a better man out there for her. He stayed with a woman he no longer wanted to be with, supported her for an additional 6 years than he would have had to, and put his life on hold for 6 years living with a wife he no longer wanted or trusted. With his delay she gained six additional years of support and he lost.

I'm sorry that I can think and it spoils the story for you as you're led by your nose into believing where the author simply leads you. Please tell me how she was hurt more by the divorce being delayed by 6 years and how he gained? If you're going to say because she saw him leave with more money, she was already going to see him be wealthier after their divorce as they were going to have contact because of the kids.

Usually I do skip, or just skim most comments and read those I know or find interesting. On that note Johnadp, when he's not boasting, has good insight and some interesting things to say.

$250,000 six years from now is worth less than $250,000 today!

Bravo you know about inflation lol.

How about the rest of the comment that he supported her for an additional 6.5 years than he had to? If the agreement said he would have to pay her 5 years of alimony post divorce that means by staying with her he supported her, at least partially, for 11.5 years as opposed to 5. And as already commented either way he paid for child support.

The whole premise of the story was ridiculous to start with. No lawyer of hers would have agreed to an open ended financial settlement tied to dollar amounts as opposed to percentages. Plus, the lawyer agreed to the settlement quickly meaning he would have had no time to see where all their assets were, what was the fair market value of the house, etc, etc. I chose not to go into that to keep my comment shorter. They are usually long enough already.

And these are just the financial cost of staying with her. How about him living 6.5 years with a woman he doesn’t love or trust? Again, if he did it to stay in the kids’ life then I would totally back that. But the only reference to the kids in the story was his aversion to paying child support.

Btw, sbrooks I know you read all my comments. Not only because you comment on them often enough. But even your limited mind can recognize intellectual superiority. Is that the type of boasting you were talking about ‘26th’. Lol, couldn’t help myself.

JohnAdp

Sorry you didn't get my intent. I wasn't disputing your analysis of the revenge, I was just joking that I am merely in it for the fun. I read very fast and usually, well almost never, take time for deep analysis of a story. I am decently sharp on military, American sports, and medicine. Finance, law, engineering, and the like, mystify me. Politics , I try to avoid. Like sbrooks103x says, I could avoid comments, but often those are Better than the story. Also, that's where I learn about finance, law, etc. Some of you people are damned smart and usually have more to say than fag, cuck, shit. I appreciate that.

The revenge was not paying 90% of his income to her. Instead he protected himself by deferring it. And he knew she would go back to cheating. After all, she didn't pay for the first time. But he did take all her support away. Revenge yes. Btb maybe not. But they no longer have each other. He's able to get someone younger, prettier, and supposedly more faithful.. So while not exactly revenge in most eyes...it truly left her with less income and less assets.

But couldn't he at least have called in some ninja accountants or bone breaking bookkeepers, or something. Maybe audited the cheating slime balls cocking his wife, surely they were cheating on taxes. I mean if they cheated on their wives they must cheat at other things. He could have sicced the tax department onto them.

Well,what happened to Tracy.?She couldn't go to her lover's as they were fighting for their marriages and what did the kids think about the divorce?.

Very stupid!

If he had set up his kids with the town juvenile delinquents and then disowned them with glee who would carry the blame?

Deliberately setting her up with a counselor who sabotages her fidelity puts the blame squarely on his soul and vastly lessens her guilt to the reader.

I liked it but wished for the dialog. A solid 4*

It has nothing engaging either, like a reading a newspaper. If you write bland stuff like this you won't have many interested in reading it. Perhaps it is OK for an experiment.

Little dry could say due to him being accountant am retired cpa

Field in top 10 for divorce alcohol heart attacks nervous breakdowns etc

But he did catch and take for him appropriate action

Tough critic. 3 stars

Buy basically like, as has been said, like eating dry toast. What I hope you learned is that without dialog, a story has no way to make characters relatable. You basically don't care what happens to them. Which is what happened for me here.

Sorry.

Regards,

C

This story put a huge smile on my face.

Well written and a great job!

Another great story. I love the non violent BTB on the cheating wife and her lovers. It's about time for more stories.

Would of liked it more if it had an aftermath to it but was a good read without the dialogue.

Reading them all again. Another great story and some fun with the comments too.

Enjoyed it but I am the type of person that wants a reason why. Why did she cheat the first time and why the second? Also, I think something would have to be said for how he was able to hang around for 6 years. I know that was the plan but my god how hard it must have been to not lose your cool and how hard it would be to not have rough whore sex and wear a condom. To be intimate as in marital relationships with a cheater?

Not his best

Reading some of your older stories!

5

A well thought out plan.

Pitiful

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 Nicely done. A seriously cold burn. 👍🏻

Yes, Different, but, no less an Excellent Read !

( Maybe a "How To" book for those in need ? )

THANKS !

What revenge? Divorce is a natural consequence of adultery, and is a public record.

ZK

Bland 3 stars. As an attempt to write without dialogue, it failed miserably. Like reading a magazine article, but less informative. Makes me less compelled to read your other material.

I have one quibble - the point of the process he chose is repeatedly stated to be financial and that's fine. However, he only mentioned the kids one time and it seems to me that the ability to raise his kids is the real payoff here.

Not wimpy, smart as shit. I'll take that over a beating anyday!

Abe Vigoda; not Age Vigoda

Can't see plotting and scheming for six years in a broken matriage.

Well done. But personally I wouldn't have the stomach to stay in a loveless marriage for the sake of deferred revenge in the form of a more favorable asset split.

I loved everything about this story. Well done ..... 5 stars.

This father makes no provision for his children, not even their education, after age 18? Who wouldn't cheat on an asshat like that?

Even though the MC presented his strategy in terms of financial implications, he got to spend six more years in the house with his kids and presumably had lots of good sex with an attractive woman. And these was a small chance that she wouldn’t cheat again, although he did set her up with a feminist counselor. And he is young enough to find, as stated in the story, a new wife who will be faithful.

A clever premise.

Who says he didn't make provision for his children, he's likely paying for their education already and had those plans done before he discovered her cheating, L take

Perfect nonviolent revenge. He got them all.

Well played!

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟