Without You I Have Nothing Ch. 02

He ignored her question until minutes later when they parked outside her unit.

"I'm not fluent in Chinese. There is no such language." he corrected her.

Jennifer winced. All night she had not seemed to ask the right question where Peter was concerned.

"I'm fluent in Cantonese. I can swear like a trooper in Hokkien and can speak Mandarin. I can read and write Chinese, which is Mandarin script. As well, I'm also fluent in Tamil, Thai, Lao, Vietnamese, Malay and Indonesian." Jennifer watched him, wide-eyed. Peter was very serious as he bathed in her green-eyed gaze.

"Don't ask how or why – not even my closest friends know. Perhaps as we get to know each another better I shall tell you."

Peter was an expert – his psychology degrees and his years of study had guaranteed he knew how words could affect a listener. Jennifer was one he wanted to influence and cunningly, he had mentioned the idea of getting to know each other. He was desperate to gain this woman's interest and for the first time in his life, he was using every trick in the book to establish a friendship.

He'd tried to make light of it, but clearly, touching on this topic of his early life had struck a nerve deep within. Staring through the windscreen, he took a series of deep breaths before opening his door to move slowly to the passenger's side to help Jennifer out.

Alarmed by his sudden tension Jennifer's mind returned with a sharp pang back into her own reality, her own fears. She realized she'd forgotten what might be expected of her at the end of such a generously hosted evening. Ashen faced, she whispered a hurried apology. "I'm not going to invite you in for coffee. I'm sorry your night out with me has been wasted, but I don't do those things."

Peter took her arm and held her a moment.

"I'll see you to your door so you are safe," he insisted. "That's the least I can do. Stop troubling yourself needlessly. You have no worries and no problems when you're with me."

Jennifer knew he felt her body stiffen. She felt awkward. Peter had been good company with a depth to him that she couldn't precisely gauge and she believed she should have said something else - but what? She wanted him to know the truth about her. Back in the bar, perhaps her words had been too bold.

Let's face it – I want you to kiss me, but I don't want things to happen too fast. I want to see you again and... She remained silent her thoughts remaining unspoken.

Asking for her key, he interrupted her thoughts.

"I'm sorry your evening was spoilt but..."

His roar of joy interrupted her. Chuckling loudly he unlocked her door.

"Spoilt my night? You've spoilt my night. Don't do those things - what things are we talking about here, Jennifer? My night wasted, when all the time I was with you?" He gave the door a nudge and it swung open.

Incredulous, Peter stared at her before continuing.

"Surely you're joking. The night itself was a disaster - not of our making - but disaster all the same. In spite of that, I enjoyed your company. You're a beautiful, intelligent young woman and I'm grateful to have been your escort for the night. As for the coffee - well I'd much prefer a good drinking tea."

He chuckled as Jennifer's eyes widened in surprise. "But here I am – I've escorted you to your door as a gentleman should." He indicated the entrance to her apartment then turned to her.

At that moment, he knew he had to do it – to do something that conveyed the genuineness of his liking for this beautiful, frozen girl with the fragile soul. There, in front of her open door, he took her head in gentle hands, reveling in the flow of her hair through his fingers. Bending forward, tenderly he tilted her face up towards his own. For moments, he paused to stare silently into her eyes, before sighing.

He kissed her hair and left.

Jennifer closed the door and leant against it, catching her breath. Her mind was crowded with thoughts. What did he say? I have no worries, no problems? Of course, I have these. Too many of them – and they won't ever go away.

Nevertheless, do I have a chance of ever seeing him again, even for just for a moment? What about his love for the ballet, opera, symphony concerts, chess? That kiss on my hair – and the effortless ease with which he demolished those three at the bar? Finally, what about... yes, I have to admit to the question... is he gay?

She reached for the phone.

"God Jennifer, some people work for a living, you know. Do you know the time? Whatever's the matter? Are you okay?" The sleepy male voice reassured her.

"Andrew I'm so worried. I met a man tonight and he..."

"Oh hell, I'll pack my cricket bat and be up there as soon as - say Monday at the latest." Andrew sounded worried and furious.

Laughing Jennifer interrupted, "No Andrew, that's not necessary." Then losing her laugh she sobered to add, "I'm so worried and I rang you for help. Tonight I..."

"I'm not your priest, Jennifer," was Andrew's polite interjection. "I think you're supplying me with too much information. Perhaps your doctor could put you on the pill!"

"Andrew, you're disgusting. How could you? Behave!" Jennifer began to doubt the wisdom of seeking his help.

Patiently she restarted. "Tonight made me worry that I will never be able to love, to be free and not be suspicious of men. I'm terrified my mind can never get over that horrendous night when you rescued me. I feel unable to let go. I'll never be able to give myself to a man I love," and she began crying.

"Come on, use my shoulders. You have in the past so use them now. What has happened?" Suddenly Andrew's voice reflected his love and concern for her.

"Tonight I met a man, Peter, who was thoughtful and charming and when I repulsed his attempt at seeing me home safely he just kissed my hair and left. I wanted him to kiss me and I chased him away. Whatever will I do because I just froze?"

"Look Sis, stop worrying. If this Peter is to be your man, he will thaw you. He kissed your hair you say. Are you sure he is a man?"

The answer was a sob.

"So he didn't do anything other than kiss your hair goodnight. Well that could mean one of two things. He wants you and does not want to risk any relationship by moving too quickly or he just wants a good-looking female on his arm to make him feel a male. If you need me to fly up to help, give me a week to make arrangements.

"You sleep well Sis, I am beaten – been a long day branding all the new calves.

"Sleep well, you'll be okay and forget that night, it was a long time ago – easy for me to say – and enjoy your new friend. He sounds fun."

The phone went dead in Jennifer's hand.