Women Who Talk Pt. 03

"You have small ones, medium ones and big bastard ones," she smirked, "the small ones can fit in your handbag discreetly, the bigger ones as well, if your handbag is big enough," she picked up a small dildo.

"But for the first time user I'd recommend starting small, plus it's cheaper."

Robyn frowned as she took it from her and then Kathy turned around as an older man with a beard approached them.

"Hey, Tom, how's it hanging?"

"One left, one right," he grinned, "what can I do you for?"

"You can't do me at all," she nodded at Robyn, "this is my sister in law, she's looking for marital aids but this is her first time in here."

"So, you're a virgin," he grinned, "it's always nice to meet a virgin," he reached up and took down a small electric dildo, "these are on special, it has ribs and it vibrates you to heaven."

Kathy winced at that as Robyn took it from him.

***

"So, how did it feel? To buy it?" Cindy asked Robyn some three hours later as she helped her put a dress together.

"It was scary at first, I've been past that shop heaps of times in the past but never been inside, I kept hearing my mother's voice in my head."

"We aren't our mothers," Cindy replied, "my mother was a Methodist, she believed that sex was a four letter word, I was a virgin on my wedding night and I had absolutely no idea what to expect. It reminds me of the Irish couple who sat up all night on their wedding night waiting for their sexual relations to arrive."

Robyn chuckled at the old joke as she folded the material over.

"I haven't heard that one for a while, dad used to tell that joke when I was younger, so how is it now between you and your mum, now that you're out?"

"She thinks I'll grow out of it," she rolled her eyes, "I've got two grown up kids who've moved out of home but as far as mum is concerned I'm just going through a phase," she pulled the material a little closer.

"And I get it, I still look on my kids as being kids but I've tried hard to not do what mum did, I may not agree with their lifestyle choices or their choice of partners but they're allowed to make their own mistakes," she smoothed the material out.

"And I've been fortunate, they're good kids. My son was a heavy dope smoker when he moved out but now that he's paying rent and going to uni he's discovered that dope costs good money and rent and food are more important than dope."

Cindy looked up as Mary came into the room with her mobile phone in her hand and a worried look on her face.

"That was David," she looked over at her, "this conference has been moved to next weekend so we won't be able to make our date after all."

"Oh," Cindy straightened up, "well, can we rebook?"

"Possibly, probably, although to be honest the only reason to eat at the Swagman was because Suzi was playing, I'd rather have dinner at a restaurant where I'm not standing in line at a counter," she came to a halt at the table.

"I did ring to see who was booked for the next few months but all they have are local acts for the next three months and an Abba tribute band, not the one we saw but some other one."

"Maybe we can see if someone else wants the tickets," she suggested.

"That's fine with me, we're good for the money unless someone insists on paying us for them."

"Uh huh," Cindy looked at Robyn, who was busy folding the hem back, "what do you say? Do you want two tickets for a dinner at the Swagman next Saturday night? Suzi Quatro is playing."

"Um," Robyn glanced at Mary but the other woman simply shrugged, "yeah, maybe."

"Who would you take? Jeff?"

"Jeff?" Robyn screwed up her face, "he'd rather lick the inside of a toilet bowl than listen to her, he's more into heavy metal, preferably Christian heavy metal."

"Is that an actual genre?" Mary asked her.

"Yeah, Petra, Stryper and bands I've never heard of before, most are from the eighties."

"Penny then?" Cindy broke in, "she used to have a poster of Suzi on her bedroom door when she was a teenager."

"Penny?" Robyn frowned, "you think she'd go?"

"I know she'd go," Cindy nudged Robyn's hips with her own, "so, go get your phone or use ours and call her while I sew this together."

"How much do you want for them?" Robyn backed away.

"Nothing," she replied, "as Mary said, we're good for the money. We paid for them months in advance but forgot about the gig until last night in bed because Mary had agreed to host some conference in the city and hadn't realised she'd double booked herself. You're helping me out this arvo and time is money."

"Okay," she looked at her handbag, "but I'm sure she'll say no. I think it's breaking one of our rules," she walked over to her bag and took out her phone.

"She has rules?" Mary mouthed to Cindy.

Cindy held her finger to her lips as Robyn walked out of the sewing room.

Penny wasn't at home and so she called the mobile and it was answered on the second ring.

"Hello, you," Penny sounded calm, "to what do I owe the pleasure of this call?"

"Am I disturbing you right now?"

"You are," Penny contemplated the files on her desk, "but the pile on my out tray is bigger than the one on my in tray so I think I'm in front, what's up?"

"Um, Cindy and Mary have just given me two tickets to dinner at the Swagman next Saturday night, Suzi Quatro's playing... so... I... was wondering if you'd like the second ticket."

There was a long silence that seemed to last for eternity and then Penny exhaled.

"Oh... shit," she leaned back in her seat, "Suzi Quatro? I tried to get tickets but they'd sold out by the time I called, but don't you want to take someone else?"

"Jeff's a no go, I've had that discussion with Cindy and Mary, Erin wouldn't know Suzi Quatro from a bar of soap and she's more into pop and before you ask about coffee shop, I'm a volunteer and I can easily swap anyway. So as long as it's not breaking one of your rules I'd like to go with you."

"That isn't one of my rules," she replied, "but yeah, Jesus, I'd... sorry, I shouldn't use that name like that in front of you... I'd love to come, I'll be your date or your friend or just the nominated driver for a chance to see her in concert... I nearly saw her in England and again in Germany and a few times here but every time something's come up," she took a breath.

"I had her picture on my bedroom wall for fuck's sake, she was the first woman I ever lusted over, so the answer is yes, yes, yes, please take me to see Suzi Quatro."

"Okay then, and seeing as you're driving I can have a couple of drinks, is that okay?"

"I'll buy them for you, just point to the bottle and say I want that one and it's yours."

"I can pay for the drinks but okay, okay. I do feel guilty you buying drinks because they just gave me the tickets because I helped Cindy out today."

"Time's money and Cindy would really appreciate your help, her eyes aren't what they used to be," she stared at the clock on the wall, "so, listen. I have to get back to work but thank you for thinking of me, you've made my dream come true."

"No worries, have a great night," Robyn replied, "I'll see you on Thursday night and we'll work out the details, oh by the way, I did finally did it."

"Did what?"

"Bought a dildo but I had to take Kathy with me for moral support."

Penny burst out laughing.

"Well all right then and how is she?"

"She's with Melissa right now, she's invited me to a barbie tomorrow arvo but I'm not sure I'll go yet, but you get back to work and I'll catch you on Thursday."

"No worries," Penny leaned forward, "let me know how you get on tomorrow, give Cindy and Mary my love, tell them I owe them a night out on me."

"I will, catch ya later," and with that she hung up.

"Well?" Cindy asked her as she stepped back into the sewing room.

"Yeah, she's up for it, she's paying for the drinks though."

"Cool McGool," Mary gave her the thumbs up, "I'd be sculling Scotch."

The last thing Cindy did that afternoon before calling it a day was inspect the sewing machine that Robyn had bought from Helen.

"It's a bloody good buy for what? Thirty dollars?"

"Yeah, I upped it to forty because of the folder," she indicated the folder she'd brought along.

"She could've sold this for two hundred at least," Cindy turned the wheel slowly, "I've seen them go for nearly three hundred in the past."

"It came out of her mother's place," she replied.

"Is that what she says?" Cindy raised an eyebrow, "it's possible, the mother has the signs of early dementia the last I heard although she was going to get a second opinion a couple of months ago."

"That makes me feel guilty."

"I wouldn't feel guilty about it," Cindy smiled crookedly, "they've got a strained relationship as it is, the mother was what my mum would call a loose woman back in the day. Different fathers for all her children, Helen spent part of her teenage years with an uncle when her mother was consigned to Larundal for some undefined mental illness."

"Why undefined?"

"I never inquired to be honest and Helen to my knowledge, has never elaborated. She just says that her mum was sent to the funny farm and leaves it at that."

"I didn't know that," she bit her lip, "maybe I should offer more money."

"Why?" Cindy leaned back in her seat, "you can't be held responsible for how one woman treats her own mother," she studied the machine.

"Mum and I disagree on a lot of things and I used to swear I'd never be like her when I had kids of my own but then you wake up one morning and realise you're more like your mother than you realise. The trick is to keep the better traits and try to minimise the traits that aren't so good, Mary's a lot younger than me so I find myself listening more to Mary than my mother."

"I know it's going to cause a major rupture with mum if I come out, it'd be worse than when my sister divorced her husband. Homosexuality is almost a capital offence in mum's eyes but dad is pretty much okay with it."

"You can't change your mum's opinion, you're not responsible for her attitudes but your opinions on the other hand are your responsibility. Don't judge her too harshly, she may have experienced something in the past that caused her to veer right. We're the product of our environment and you are at the stage where you're looking back at everything you've been taught and asking yourself if those beliefs still hold water."

"So, what do I do on this date next Saturday night?" Robyn turned the wheel slowly, "I have an actual boyfriend."

"Treat it as a night out with another woman, Jeff can't read your mind and Penny can't read your mind either. We can guess what someone might be thinking but that's it."

"I'm thinking of going to this barbie at Kathy's joint tomorrow arvo, it'd be after church."

"So go then, it's not a crime. You'll find a few gay people there, probably most of them will be gay if it's at her place, it'd be a good barometer for you. You'll be able to observe women kissing each other, if it turns you off you'll pretty much know straight away."

"What's Kathy like?"

"She's pretty stable although I think she's got an uphill battle with Melissa though, it's hard enough when you're involved with another gay woman but it's a lot harder when you're with someone who was straight. Melissa has come out of a church denomination that's basically an American import, I know how these people think and it's a fifty fifty chance that she's just lashing out at her parents or if she really is gay."

Robyn wasn't sure if that was good news or bad but as she cooked dinner that night she resolved that if nothing else, she was at least going to keep an open mind. Melissa could very well be just lashing out at a denomination that was classed as extreme even amongst Christians, they weren't called the happy clappy crowd for nothing. Even the Baptists treated them as being empty-headed and Baptists were conservative in their outlook.

Was she just like Melissa or was she really that way inclined? She really missed her grandmother and resented her mother's bigoted rants against the gay community, the arts, and liberal values. She'd been apoplectic at the recent march across the Sydney Harbour bridge when 250,000 people marched in support of Aboriginal rights, her father on the other hand thought it was about time somebody said sorry for two hundred years of genocide, land theft and stolen children.

If she came out she knew her father would still support her and in that way she was different to Melissa, whose family had roundly rejected her. She at least could count on the support of her dad and her sister, and that would further alienate her mother. Nevertheless, as she headed out to Jeff's place in Scoresby she resolved to keep an open mind. She might be going out with him but there was nothing wrong with looking around for other possibilities and that meant she had to consider Kathy in a different light but Helen was another matter entirely.

***

Kathy lived in a quiet little cul de sac off Canterbury Road in Montrose, a short walk from the shops at Montrose and as Robyn made her way to the back gate that Sunday afternoon she felt a little bit guilty that she was going on her own instead of bringing Jeff but that guilt was easily overridden by the fact that all the women at this barbecue were gay or bisexual. Men weren't forbidden though she realised when she heard a man burst out laughing but bringing him here would have telegraphed a signal she wasn't prepared to give yet. She had been over at his house last night and perhaps that also accounted for her unease because Jeff was absolutely clueless she realised as she cuddled up to him on the couch to watch a movie.

The occasion was simply that it was Sunday, and so she'd come straight from church wearing a blue silk blouse tucked into a patterned A-line skirt that buttoned up the front, a tan, tailored jacket and heels. A necklace of shells and brightly-coloured beads hung from her neck, but when she opened the back gate she realised that she should have changed into more casual clothes.

Almost everyone was wearing jeans except for two women in short skirts, one skirt was so short the woman had black leotards underneath. People turned and the bubble of conversation dimmed a little and then the back door opened and Kathy stepped out in a pair of jeans and a tank top under a white shirt that hung loosely about her. She was carrying a carving board filled with chops and as soon as she spotted Robyn she smiled broadly and hurried down the steps to hand the board to a tall woman with short brown hair and then hurried over to greet her.

"You came," she stopped in front of her, "wow, you look amazing," she stepped forward and then put an arm around her shoulders, "everyone, this is my new best friend Robyn. I met her at Penny's meeting the other Friday," she dropped the hand to the small of her back and took the bottle of lemonade from her. A few people smiled and waved and then Kathy lowered her voice.

"They'll introduce themselves, but no one knows anything else about you, except for Melissa and she's cool," she pushed her forward lightly, "go on and find a seat, somewhere."

Robyn looked around at the four tables, all of which were full and then up at the back porch where two couches had been placed at either side of the back door and a man at a table closer to the house stood up and offered her his chair.

"I'm Pommy Pete," he introduced himself, "but most people just call me Pete."

There were four other people seated on small bench seats and Pete sat down next to a woman in her thirties or forties with long black hair and brown skin. She wore a white, Western style shirt tucked into cream moleskine trousers accessorised with a black belt and a large ornamental buckle, she had an Akubra hat cocked rakishly over her head and when she held out her hand in greeting Robyn felt the roughness of her palm and noted the sunspots on the back of her hand. Likewise, her face and neck had the look of someone who spent a lot of time outdoors.

"Colleen, I'm the old bag here," she shook her hand, "and this is Belinda," she indicated a girl with short blonde hair in her late teens in a tank top with the Rainbow motif on it and a pair of jeans. Carly was a redhead in a black blouse and black jeans who looked to be the same age as Robyn, her partner was Roseanne who had shorter blonde hair and a fawn-coloured jumper and black jeans. Then there was Harriet and Maxine, the latter was wearing a black leather mini skirt and a white blouse opened to the waist with a black tee shirt underneath. She had a nose ring and when she opened her mouth Robyn saw a tongue stud, Harriet's hair was a bright pink and she wore the pants in this partnership judging by her tattoos and mannish look.

Colleen's age was eventually revealed to be forty two some time later, the others ranged in age from eighteen through to twenty six for Pommy Pete but by then she'd gotten to know them over a plate of sausages, salad and fried mushrooms and onions, washed down with lemonade. She was one of the very few drinking soft drink she noticed and over the next couple of hours she found herself meeting others. One girl, Ana actually worked at the Commonwealth bank in Main Street and she was going out with Toni from Lilydale.

Kathy was busy circulating around the yard and also inside where others had gone to eat, now and then she stopped by Robyn's table to check that Pete wasn't feeling the heat of an Aussie winter and he soon found shelter on the back porch with Stefan, who was better dressed than Robyn in a crisp white shirt and black leather pants. At first they were just chatting but when she glanced over her shoulder some fifteen minutes later they were both kissing passionately.

"He's going back to the U.K on Wednesday," Colleen murmured in her ear, "to his boyfriend in London."

"Oh," she blushed, "okay."

"So, when did you find out?"

"Huh?" Robyn stared at her and then her eyes shifted as she caught the meaning and thankfully, most of the others had left their table to play a game of cricket in the backyard, "I'm curious... I um go to church... but I'm open minded and I've met a few gay women lately who are good friends, I met them at Penny's meeting."

"Penny Jones?" Colleen raised an eyebrow and when Robyn nodded she went on, "she handled my divorce from my ex husband four and a half years ago, a brilliant lawyer. I was married to a man with enough money to make your head spin and he could pay for the best lawyers."

Colleen lit a cigarette and eyed the glass of Bundy and Coke as she let her mind wander.

"I've known Penny since she was thirteen years old though, her mother and I were joint owners of a bistro in South Yarra. When her mother told me that Penny had started her own practice in Kilsyth I was one of her first clients and she certainly put my ex husband's lawyers to flight. I actually felt sorry for the prick afterwards... for about thirty seconds."

"And now you're at a gay barbie."

"Yeah, I've been out since my marriage ended, I was with a woman for about two and a half years and another woman for about eighteen months but these last twelve months I'm quite happy to dip my toes into the dating pool now and then. I have my farm, my daughter and about two hundred head of prime beef. Siobhan, my daughter works on the farm but next year she's off to uni to study animal husbandry. She wants to be a veterinary surgeon, which is bloody handy because vet bills can cost you an arm and a leg."

"I know, I'm from Warbie myself but we just lived in a house."

"I'm from Steels Creek," she tipped her hat, "so, we're neighbours."

Robyn smiled at the joke and then Colleen's phone rang and she picked it up.

"Hello, sweetheart," she smiled, "yeah... I'm just getting pleasantly drunk but I'm still standing so there's room for more... uh huh," her eyes narrowed, "oh, okay... no no no, that's fine... you go on with your friends, I'll get Kathy to run me home later. No worries, sweetie, give her my love and I'll see you tonight or tomorrow morning when I kick your arse out of bed, bye now."