Woody 02

Woody 02

So, I mean, I don't even know how these things get qualified, but apparently, my crew, um, well, the crew that I'm associated with is the coolest nerd crew in all of Middleton and those are not my words, but it has been said. I just wanted to say that if it wasn't said in my last chapter because now, I need to move on and figure out just who in the hell was Robert's idea as a tag team partner to finally break my threshold fears of having real sex and break it big time at that since Robert confessed that it would be a two on one situation! Two on one and at my size, people!

That's big time, so, I mean, I called in a couple of nonexpert at anything experts for advice, so, what?

"I mean, Woody, is your cool crew going to freak out that I'm here at your place and they are not, huh?"

"Jack, we all have our separate lives outside of the cool crew and the only thing they might get mad about is not being able to side window peek at my inappropriate neighbor lady, so?"

I mean, Jack already peeked at Mrs. Dexter while I purposely took my time getting him a beer, which he had to bring since I'm just slightly short of 21.

"Anyways, Jack, you know these people, so, of this list of three names and just this list of three names because I'm obsessed with three now, which of them would like to have sex with me, hmm?"

[Slaps down a little piece of paper with three names on it]

LOL, I did not think that question all the way through, now did I, tee he?"

"Steve, check, Billy, check, Gene check."

"Ugh, Jack, that's not what I meant because what I meant was which of these three people would want to have sex with me in a two on one, tag team sandwich situation where I'm naked and down on my hands and knees and doing my best to keep breathing, hmm?"

Again, LOL, I did not think that question all the way through, now did I, tee he?"

"Oh, that's different then, Woody, um, so, Steve, check, check, Billy, check, check, Gene check, check. [Burp] can I get another beer, Woody, huh?"

"Well, since you brought a half of a 12-pack of beer, I mean, of course and you can find something on the TV if you want."

"[Burp] you mean that I brought a 6-pack of beer with me, right, Woody?"

And they say déjà vu isn't a real thing, right, folks?

"That's what I just said, Jack, since six is half of twelve."

"Well Woody, I am not a relationship expert if you're phishing around for some approval from me for you to have sex. I mean, that tag team thing seems a little extreme and all, but since you're known as the best instructor for French kissing 101, I mean, if there is a flow, then go with the flow [burp]."

"Well, OMG, who says that about my skills with, oh, ooh, um, I'll be right back with another beer then, um, okay then."

Oh, yeah, I may have left a detail out, so, oops, my bad.

"And what about you, Larry, hmm? Are you ready for another beer since you've been sitting there quietly sipping on your beer while smirking and smiling over our conversation like a pervert, hmm?"

"{Larry} hey, I'm just sitting here quietly and dimensionally measuring up your sex fantasy position, Woody and you know, quietly sipping on my beer [sip], so?"

"Oh, oh, you can mentally dimensionally measure things up all you want in your head, Larry and Jack, but I know how tall both of you are and dimensionally, if I were down on all fours, I mean, that just wouldn't work dimensionally, the end!"

"{Larry} tee he, I don't know, Woody [sip] because in my head, everything works out dimensionally, so, um, your turn, tee he, Woody, so?"

"Oh, oh, don't you challenge me, Larry because I'm rock solid with the cool crew and I'll demonstrate for you right now that if I were down on my all fours and in between you and Jack, I mean, the tale of the tape measure clearly shows that your dick would be way over my head and poor ole Jack would be banging the air from behind me, so, hah with your mental pictures!"

Yeah, maybe I didn't think that one through very well either. I mean, it was me who mentioned in the last chapter about how we all have bendable bone joints, so, um, yeah, I didn't think that one through all the way since guy's can get down on their knees too and just like that, things line up!

But, but, but for the record, the three of us were mostly still dressed for the demo! I mean, off the record, I guess guys don't need much more than a pushed down zipper and an open jeans button and then, of course, my house shorts and t-shirt didn't offer much resistance, so, um, that's off of the record then.

But at least I got a couple of body glow ups.

"{Larry} damn, Woody, you look great naked and the arch in your back is sexy! LOL, you didn't know jack about rolling a condom on Jack, tee he, but your sex fantasy is amazing."

[Oomph, oomph, oomph, slurp, argh, muffled groans, oomph, gag, ooh, slurp]

Well, Larry had my mouth busy, so, um, that was my best muffled response back to Larry.

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, grip, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam, grip]

"{Jack} OMG, this is one tight as Boi booty, Woody, prop this Boi booty up for me and push it back!"

[Oomph, oomph, oomph, slurp, argh, muffled groans, oomph, gag, ooh, slurp]

Well, Larry still had my mouth busy, so, um, that was my best muffled and mumbled response back to Jack. And since Jack had my "Boi booty" in his hands, so, that seemed to be up to him about what got propped up and pushed, so.

And was it really all that appropriate for them to five high each other over my arched back that many times? Don't answer that.

And by the way, I put the condom on Jack absolutely correctly! I mean, the second time and all, so. Wait, the second I rolled one onto him because trust me, one tag teaming was enough!

But I liked being naked for them.

And, and, and by the most important way, huh, they didn't just jump up and split just afterwards! Well, they had the rest of their remaining half of a 12-pack of beer to finish off first and all, but it was nice that they both stuck around for a little while. Oh, and, and, and, it gave me a chance to check off walking around my house in just my undies in front of someone and I checked the box hard in bold since there were two guys wheezing and high fiving on my couch.

Oh, tee he, and by an unspeakable way, tee he, Jack is of a perfect size for a Boi booty, tee he, not that I would ever, tee he, say anything about that.

Oh, the other way then? I mean, Larry trashed my mouth, my throat, my neck, my lips, my gulping and swallowing abilities and everything else! And he probably hopes I say something about that, but nope, I won't because that evening never happened!

"{Jack} Woody, who set who up here and are we ever talking about this, huh?"

"Guys, I'll take the blame here because I needed a push to get over the edge and whew, boy, did I ever get a big push, but it's over and it never happened anyways, so, Larry, are we all in agreement?"

"{Larry} [sip] oh, I was out of town that weekend when you caved in and finally had sex [sip], so."

"Jack?"

"{Jack} [sip] oh, I had that high ankle sprain that weekend and couldn't have possibly made a sandwich out of you, Woody [sip], so."

Well, I mean, guys, right? You can always trust them and life goes on as normal. And guess what, spoiler alert, they held true to their silence! Up to this point anyways.

End Woody 02