Working Out Issues Ch. 07

He thought about it for a moment, "Yeah. She's kind of the sister I never had."

"You told me you had three sisters."

"Those are the sisters I do have," he smirked, "We're out of dishes."

"Working on it," I said, hurrying my avatar over to the virtual sink, "So... It's pretty weird spending so much time with one person, right? Shit, the dishwasher just broke."

"I have iron, I'll craft one," he said. He opened the crafting menu on his half of the screen, and I scurried around frantically, chopping up carrots and dodging passing cars, "And I don't think it's weird. It's like college. But with less anxiety."

"So much less anxiety," I lied. One of the cars stopped and a swarm of zombies poured out, quickly overwhelming my character. Jeremy quickly closed the crafting menu and started giving covering fire with a shotgun while I scrambled to protect the capture point, "But like, to an outsider, roommate stuff probably seems so crazy."

"Definitely," Jeremy laughed, "I know stuff about her I would never want to know about my sisters."

He lined up three same-colored zombies and they exploded, taking out everyone them and giving us a x2 score multiplier. We got into the car they had abandoned and rejoined the race to the finish line.

"Right!" I said. Okay, this was good. Adam and I weren't the only two roommates who had trouble with boundaries, "And it's like, where's the line, right?"

"Uh... what do you mean, exactly?" Jeremy said. We clipped a police car, giving us an instant 3-star wanted rating. Jeremy swore and quickly swerved down a side street while I started firing dirty dishes at the cops.

"Like you said, it's way more intimate than normal friends, right?"

"...Sure."

"Like, you and Ashanti probably share a blanket or whatever, if you're watching a movie."

"...Yeah, sometimes."

"And like, you would give her a hug if she's feeling sad. I need heals."

"Healing. And, yeah, of course."

"And, I mean, you've probably shared a bed once or twice."

"Mel, can we pause for a bit?" Jeremy said.

"No, it's online multiplayer."

"What the hell is this game?" Jeremy said. On screen, our car hit a banana peel, flipped and landed upside down on a giant marshmallow. Blood and gore flew everywhere. Our characters reappeared in the Shadow Isles and I quickly started gathering up Soul Fragments so we could respawn. Jeremy put his controller aside and gave me a look.

"Is everything okay, Mel?" he asked. I glanced over. He looked concerned, in a very calm, Jeremy way. I blushed and turned back to the TV, where I was being chased around the Shadow Isles maze by Inky, Blinky, Clyde, and Pyramid Head.

"I just really hope Adam and Ashanti hit it off tomorrow night," I said casually.

"Mel," Jeremy said slowly, "Has Adam been making you feel uncomfortable?"

"Umm," I bit my lip. Actually, if were talking about physical comfort, it was pretty hard to think of anything that felt better than being wrapped up in Adam's arms. But that sounded really non-platonic out loud. "How do you mean?"

"Like, has he been hitting on you?"

"Oh my god!" I laughed, "No! Definitely not. Trust me, he is not that sort of guy at all."

I jumped down onto Blinky from atop the wall of the maze, spearing his ghostly body with my hidden blade, then quickly took out Clyde and Pyramid Head with a plasma cannon.

"Okay," said Jeremy, "Good. Cause I trust you, but I'm not setting up my almost-sister with some shithead."

"I promise, he is, like, the most amazing guy ever," I said, "I think we might just be, like... a little co-dependent."

"Are you sure that's it?" Jeremy asked, "He was pretty over-protective at the gym. I kind of thought you wanted to set him up so he wouldn't keep pining over you."

"Trust me, he doesn't think of me that way," I said, "He's completely straight. We both are. Just two straight guys sharing an apartment."

"...Oh," Jeremy said. For some reason he sounded a little disappointed, "Huh. Guess my gaydar's a little off."

He shrugged, picked up his controller, and collected the last few Soul Fragments. We respawned in the overworld just in time - the storm had nearly closed in on us.

I was a little rattled. Even though I knew Adam was just craving physical intimacy, not actually attracted to me, Jeremy's questioning had hit a little close to home. I mean, if he knew that I had helped Adam get off the other night... but that was normal, wasn't it?

"So, does anything weird ever happen when you and Ashanti sleep together?" I asked, trying to sound normal.

"Sometimes she talks in her sleep, which is very on brand," he said, "But nothing weird. Might be weird if I was straight."

"Sure," I nodded.

I started building a base to protect us from the other survivors while Jeremy crafted some armor out of the remains of the dishwasher.

"Wait, what?" I said, "You're gay?"

Jeremy laughed incredulously, "Yeah? Of course."

"But you're so..." I bit my tongue.

"You can say "normal", if that's what you're thinking," Jeremy rolled his eyes, "I am very gay though. I don't try to hide it."

"I'm sorry," I said, cheeks flaming red, "I didn't mean to sound, like, homophobic at all. I think it's really, um, really cool that you're gay and everything."

"Yeah," Jeremy nodded, poorly suppressing a smirk, "It's actually incredibly cool."

I buried my face in my hands, "I'm sorry! I'm being such a dipshit right now. I'm just... surprised. I had this image of you as a straight guy..."

"Well," Jeremy said, and there was a hint of laughter in his voice but mostly gentle kindness, "Let it go. First impressions aren't always right. But I understand. Society tells you that certain types of people have to behave a certain way, and it's easy to just believe it. Questioning is hard."

Jeremy paused, like he was considering how far he wanted to continue this thought. I just stayed quiet. The crazy thing was, some of what he was saying kind of resonated with me. It was like how I assumed that Adam must get laid all the time because he was so hot. Or maybe even, in some tiny, tangential way, it could possibly be extended to apply, slightly, just a little, to the way I thought about myself. But not really. But a little.

"Anyway, you don't have to be what other people tell you that you are," Jeremy said.

I sniffled and nodded.

"Which is good," Jeremy said, "Because I really like being gay, even if certain people don't realize it. Now come on, everyone else is dead."

I shook the embarrassed tears from my eyes and looked up. Sure enough, every other player had been eaten by a chain chomp wearing a Master Chief helmet, which meant it was up to us to defuse the bomb at the center of the arena.

"Oh shit!" I gasped, "Where are the instructions?"

"I think they're under the couch," said Jeremy, snapping back into action. I quickly lifted up the futon with one hand and grabbed the printed-out manual with the other.

"Okay," I said, "What does the panel on the front of the bomb look like?"

Jeremy rotated the bomb on the screen, "Uh... I think it's a mix between a Guitar Hero controller and a Rubik's cube... wait, now it's prompting me to buy a lootbox."

I flung the manual aside, "Alright, fuck this game."

Jeremy laughed, "Yeah, fuck this game."

We leaned back against the couch in silence for a moment and waited for the bomb to go off.

"Sorry I was so weird just then," I mumbled.

"That's okay," said Jeremy, "I think you're figuring some stuff out."

I thought about the events of the past few months. Adam and I baring our souls to each other. Cuddling each other. Adam helping me work out and feel good about my body. Sleeping together. Kissing. Me dressing up for Adam, and the way he lit up, and the way it made me feel inside. Adam cumming on me.

Holy shit, I realised, as the timer on the bomb hit zero.

We were so starved for affection, even an actual gay guy thought that we seemed gay.

BOOM!

*****

"You can't just stick it in there!" I yelled.

I put down the eyeliner and glared at myself in the mirror. Idiot! The YouTube tutorials made it look so easy, but so far all my attempts had ended in disaster. Years of gaming should have given me great hand-eye co-ordination, but apparently hand-eyeliner co-ordination was a different matter. Now I was getting really impatient, which was making me even sloppier, which was making me even more frustrated!

I took a deep breath, and wiped away my last shitty attempt.

"Just take it slow, and get it right," I muttered to myself.

It was almost midday on Friday. After Jeremy went home, I had spent some time thinking about what he said. All the stuff about societal expectations, and questioning your own behavior, and... a little bit about how he had initially thought Adam was gay. It made me realise two things.

First of all, all the stuff I had been worried about between me and Adam was totally fine. Sure, it wasn't how society said two straight guys should behave, but it worked for us. It didn't mean Adam was into me, or I was into him. We were just helping each other out. And anyway, it was going to stop tonight, and then things would be totally normal.

Secondly, clothes were just clothes, right?

Who cared if a piece of fabric that went on your legs had two holes at the bottom or just one? What made a shirt different to a dress besides length? There wasn't actually any distinction between male and female clothing except that people somehow decided to pretend there was.

So why not just wear clothes that made me look good?

There was literally no reason not to. I mean, the clothes were right there. So I went through all the clothes Adam had bought me, and put them away in my closet. There wasn't really that much stuff, and a lot of it was pretty basic. Pants and tops that, while they definitely looked feminine, were basically the same as what I used to wear. Except smaller (thanks Adam), and, okay, a lot more stylish (thanks Ashanti). But I felt good about my decision to get over unnecessary gendered labels.

And then I found My Dress.

I didn't realise that's what it was at first. When I took it out of the bag I thought it was a t-shirt. That's what the top looked like, a black t-shirt, with some lace accents on the sleeves. But it didn't end at the waist. Instead the fabric kind of pinched together, then flared out, into a mid-length pleated skirt. I held it up in front of me. It was so simple. Classy. Elegant. Pretty.

Oh my god, it was so pretty.

My mouth went dry. It... it was just a piece of clothing. Just a normal piece of clothing. My pulse quickened. It was mine. My dress. My dress! I was just gonna put it in the closet with my other clothes. My baggy old sweatpants and my t-shirts with video game logos on them and M Y D R E S S.

I was just going to put My Dress away with my other clothes and then I could wear it later.

Or I could wear it now.

I whipped my head around and made eye contact with my little mirror. No, not good enough. I dragged My Dress over to the full-length mirror in Adam's room and held it up in front of me. Oh my god. It was going to fit, right? Yes, it was going to fit. But maybe it wouldn't, maybe I should try it on now. No. Wait. My hair wasn't right. And... oh my god. I should wear makeup. Right? I looked at My Dress in the mirror. It hung coolly from my hands, like it didn't even care what was going on. Holy fuck, it looked so pretty. Yes. Okay. Makeup. I needed makeup!

I laid My Dress down on one of the merch boxes in Adam's room, and then immediately felt guilty and hung it on a coathanger instead. Then it was research, then running down to the pharmacy, and now I was in the bathroom jabbing an eyeliner pencil in and around my eye.

"Just take it slow, and get it right," I repeated, like a mantra. I wasn't even sure why I cared, or why I felt like My Dress demanded makeup. I just felt like... what if I tried it on, and looked in the mirror... and it didn't look right?

My stomach lurched. I took another deep breath and took the eyeliner away from my eye. I hadn't smeared or gone wonky, and right now that was all I was looking for. I kept going, applying mascara, then foundation, then lipstick, and then paused. I studied my face in the mirror. My skin looked a little more flawless, my eyelashes were more full, my eyes looked a little bigger. But I still looked pretty normal. I gulped and left the bathroom.

My Dress was waiting for me in my room. I avoided eye contact, which was... actually impossible not to do, because it was a dress. I changed quickly, trying to stay calm. I paired My Dress with a black bra and panties, and black T-strap shoes with a little heel, and a silver belt around the waist, and then took a deep breath and walked out.

I could feel the skirt swishing against my legs, brushing against my hands as I carefully stepped down the hall. Maybe it was the skirt or maybe it was the heels, but I found myself swaying my hips just a little bit more. I got to Adam's room, steadied my nerves, fixed my hair, and looked into the mirror.

My Dress fit perfectly at the top, hugging my boobs, showing off the figure I had been working so hard for. It cinched around my waist, then flared out, the pleated skirt making my hips look even bigger than they really were. The skirt came down to just above my knees, showing off my calves, which looked sexy and smooth and toned, helped by the little heels. My hair came down in golden waves around my glowing, beautiful face. I turned side to side and laughed in disbelief. I looked beautiful. I was beautiful. I stepped away from the mirror, covering my mouth.

"Oh my god," I whispered, "Oh my god!"

I sat down on Adam's bed, hugging my shoulders, then immediately got back up and went back to the mirror for another look. I was beautiful! I really looked like this? I looked like this the whole time and I didn't realise until I put on a stupid dress?!

It was like my whole body had been transformed, and yet I could see that it was actually still totally the same. The makeup wasn't hiding anything, just adding a bit of flavor to what was already there. My double chin, and my flabby arms, and... everything that I had hated about my body was still there. But I didn't hate it now. I loved it. It was perfect.

And I looked like a girl.

I shook my head, watching my hair dance, and laughed. Forget looking like a girl. I looked like me. For the first time, I was looking in the mirror and seeing myself. That was all I had really wanted this whole time, wasn't it?

I smiled, and skipped out of the room. Well, I didn't really skip, because i didn't want to break an ankle. But that was the vibe. I was moving, and i was really happy about it.

I wanted to show Adam, but he was still at work, so instead I just sat around the living room, played some video games, and waited. I was full of nervous energy. I wanted to work out, but I didn't want to ruin my hair, or makeup, or, god forbid, My Dress!

It was only when I heard Adam open the front door that I even considered it might possibly freak him out to see me dressed like this.

"I'm home, dude!" he called out, "Had a client bail, so I figured I'd come have lunch with-"

He rounded the corner and stopped dead. I stood up, nervously shimmying my shoulders, making My Dress swirl around my legs.

"Bro," Adam said, mouth agape, "Are you... wearing a dress?"

"Yeah," I shrugged and smiled up at him, "It's not a big deal."

_______________

Sorry again that there's no sex yet! It's coming I promise. I just wanted to make sure that you all knew I was alive. And also that the actual sexy bit wouldn't be buried behind 3 pages of awkward romance. I know how annoying that can be when you're just in the mood for... you know ;)