All Comments on 'Working Stiff'

continue please

you really need spell check nice story though

I see that you ended it such that you can continue it. I hope you do. It's got a great premise.

Again,with the spelling,and english teachers...Damn people,"IT IS A FUCK STORY" If you want those,return to school...

It still a story, and in a story, comments on spelling and grammar ARE relevant.

This is pretty hot and typos not withstanding I certainly would like to read more if you continue this into a series. Kind of a hot fantasy that I never considered, a guy whoring himself at a glory hole for women. Total porn scenario but still it was sexy, especially the double shot ending; I've been there.

Stone

Great setup for a very kinky situation. I'd love to find out more about the women who frequent this sort of establishment! I'm rather interested to see where this is going...

Nice story BUT you should ALWAYS tell us if you plan on a continuation.

The main character is completely unlikable. He's a jerk, and an idiot, and thinks way too much of himself. He must have a really tiny dick as well, if his aunt's nipples are almost as long as his dick. And, with a tiny dick, he couldn't work a glory hole. There wasn't really any sense of incest, or the tension that incest brings into a story. The last paragraph was just shoved onto the end of the story, and had nothing to do with the story.

"My suspicions were correct." What suspicions? There was no prior mention of suspicions. The sentence had no context to make it make sense. "The redhead was my Aunt Georgiana." This makes it an incest story? Sure, technically such an act would be incest. But again, this category uses the concept of incest or other taboo sex to build a tension within the story. The last line of a rather poorly written story does not create or use tension to further the story.

Finally, to all you illiterates who don't like criticisms based on grammar, spelling and editing, just shut the fuck up. Poor English detracts from the story. It just does. Erotica should be written well, even if it is not Pulitzer material. We shall continue to complain about poorly written dreck, because we have the right to expect well written material, whatever the topic.

regardless of what others are saying please do continue

Keep writing; It's getting more believable.

I agree with three things from previous comments:

1.) You are in desperate need of an editor (yes, grammar matters!), i.e. "when" not "wen't," "piqued" not "peaked," &tc. Use spellcheck, but also ask another human to look over anything you write before you publish it. If one isn't available, then read your story aloud to yourself; it helps you to learn your own pacing, and also makes mistakes more obvious.

2.) This story is truly misfiled. Omit the last paragraph and refile it under "erotic couplings" and I think you'd have a much better reception. You use incest as a gimmick rather than a literary device, which ends up detracting from the story rather than improving it.

3.) Once you've worked out the kinks, please continue this story! It does have an excellent premise, and though I did find the guy to be a bit shallow, I think you can use that to put him in a wider array of sexy situations.

In short, keep writing, keep improving, and keep having fun ;)

...that the most vitriolic comments are left by assholes too scared to put their name to them?

Yeah, there were some typos (auto-spell correct is not your friend), but I've seen worse. These were few enough to be tolerable. About par for the course on Lit.

As far as the bozo who couldn't figure out where the main character's suspicions came from, the guy caught a glimpse of the side of her face in the peephole, then bent down to look through the gloryhole to confirm she was who he thought he'd just seen. Granted, it could have been handled a bit better, but the set-up was there.

I also didn't see the guy as a jerk, so much as a young guy confident in his sexual abilities. He wasn't portrayed with any sort of unnecessary bravado.

The story began with the designation "PART 1", which means it was meant to continue. The aunt was not slapped on at the end for no good reason, it was the set-up for the rest of the aunt-nephew INCEST series, thus the "Incest" categorization. If it wasn't there, people (probably anonymous) would be bitching that they were ambushed by it being an incest story, when it was labeled something else.

All in all, this was a decent beginning. Props to 12Pooky12, for taking the gloryhole scenario and flipping it so the customers (for the most part) are women looking to suck (or fuck) a dick and not guys looking to get their dicks sucked.

good story enjoyed it

Thanks for sharing.

Please don't leave it here. This could be a very hot sexy story.

You never disappoint!