All Comments on 'Would You Ever?'

Nine pages to say what could have been said in three, four at the most. Judging by this I'm not sure i would read a second submission. I gave you a 2 for trying.

The first few pages were turgid, overloaded with cliches such as “curves in all the right placess”. After that homage to Henry James, the story began to flow, and the writing stopped getting in the way.

Overall, it was good.

BULLSHIT. Always wondering if the people you meet are thinking of your wife getting fucked on film. For all time because those films are never going back into the can. Love can't survive that much shame. There will be Kevin's around every corner.

AlwAys get annoyed with any tale that uses the ‘male pride’ line, this presumes women never have issues of jealousy, never compare them selves to other women or ever have problems with their partners having affairs or even flirting with another person.

Even seen cheating wives use the ‘male pride/male ego’ line in tales and once I’m real life. When the cheater stated if their partner ever started they cut their nuts off.

Some men and some women don’t care and don’t feel possessive or jealous and don’t set much need for monogamy.

But a lot of women and men do expect monogamy, do get jealous/hurt/angry by cheating. It’s not just male pride it cuts both ways.

Point two - relating to this scenario. A woman would also be put off with dating a porn start/ sex worker or online cam performer.

One part is they (woman or man) would compare to the visual look of the performers and also fall in with the way it portrayed.

Both the men and women in these films are usually toned, fit, muscular attractive - they give the impression all the men in them have huge cocks, the men handsome women are gorgeous (usually) and sex goes on forever etc.

Now for those civilians with their Dad or Mom boss, cellulite, more average dicks, smaller tits, less than perfect complexions, few extra pounds, few more lines to the face - their always going to feel second place and insecure.

Some aren’t and maybe their the stronger people or those less tied in monogamy.

Then, as mentioned earlier, that online stuff won’t go away and even if you could get passed it, it’s going to rear it’s head when others see your wife/husband online and some people won’t be as forgiving or easy about it and years later your kids or their friends could find it online.

Good story though

Thanks, I enjoyed it. Keep up the good work.

I liked the story plus the various twists and turns. It was interesting written as events were happening in "real time". I know I have a 'history' as well and looking back at some of my past decisions makes me shake my head and wonder what might have happened if different choices were made. Please keep writing.

Go in search of an adult entertainer? No, but if I liked them and we meshed well, I could overlook the past. As long as it was definitely in the past. I couldn't be romantically involved if they were still having sex with others.

i enjoyed it a fun story thanks for sharing

As you wrote, everyone has a past, and the older we get the more mistakes we've made.... ;-)

Thanks and keep 'em coming.

Very nice romance, thanks! I enjoyed it.

However the story completely ignored 'the elephant in the room' which is the reason that these marriages don't work out and the women return to porn. What happens when Daniel gets to be a successful businessman and takes his wife to all those social functions that his job requires? Believe me, I've seen it, the combination of male lust and jealousy with female cattiness is usually lethal. The videos circulate for years. As many porn performers have said, "You have to marry within the business.' The happy exceptions are as rare as hen's teeth.

I liked the story, well written. Longer than I usually like but a well developed story.

Well done, an old story with a current twist. I hope you ignore some of your detractors who hide behind an anonymous banner, if you continue as you have started writing, I believe these stories will get better and better.

Thanks and good luck for the future.

Great Story! Really well written. A little long, but well done. When my stories go on a little too long, like over six pages, I try and break them into shorter chapters. Nine pages is a lot to read in one sitting. Another small tip, if the details don't do anything to drive the story forward, or make us understand them and their growing attraction for each other, in the case of this genre, I'd leave them out. Looking forward to reading more of your work, because you've really got a talent for writing.

I meant to mention that I really liked your secondary characters. They really helped to show us what type of people they are, and that they have friends that care for them. I especially liked spunky Priya, his good friend Ravi's wife. I could picture her in my minds eye, standing up to Daniel. Again, terrific story, especially for a first effort. Keep writing!

Good story. Well written, with interesting characters and plenty of humour. I loved Bruno! I didn't think it was too long, you enabled us to appreciate the different characters well.

WONDERFUL STORY! I HOPE JULIE GOES BACK TO ACTING, IN A TRUE ROLE, CALLED MOMMY!

Very Nice story> I look forward to reading more of your work

A very nice romantic story. You did some research here about the porn industry anthose who people it.milt showed in the story.

Please write more romance stories like this one you have a knack for this genre

Scores a well deserved 5/5

This is fiction, but not necessarily. There is life after the life she had... WONDERFUL STORY, keep it up and part 2 would be nice!

A wonderful story. I love reading well written & long stories and this one was both. Loved the characters. Thank you for writing this story. I wish & hope you will continue to write more amazing stories like this. :)

This story was well written and had great character development. The storyline progressed as a slow burn that eventually ended up with Daniel and Julie falling in love, then getting past her past, then marriage and living happily ever after. Well done 5/5

Priya, she was so annoying

Good story!

5

Very well written. We all have hidden things in our past. Some very small, some quite large. Just try to learn and live better. 5+

Excellent! Please write more stories.

Enjoyed it immensely. A good story with interesting and likeable characters that was mildly erotica. That is a great formula. Thank you.

"On a personal level, Julie did move back in with Daniel that weekend, but it took two weeks of talking, crying, arguing, silent hostility, and quiet kindness before they shared a bed. It took another week before they were intimate, and it was at times loving and at others fierce and punishing as they both purged demons and salved hurts. More tears followed after, but they were cleansing in nature."

This is a whole story in and of itself, and I'd like to read it. Maybe I'll try my hand at writing it...

Extremely well done.

Temporal pace as the plot unfolded was superb. No foolish tropes![I nearly unique achievement on this site. Well done here as well.]

BELIEVABLE characters that I could readily

Relate to; no real need to suspend disbelief! Again, rare here.

This is the kind of story that would make a good TV movie. It's so good that the more graphic porn could be reduced in intensity and nothing would be lost.

That you for this story!!

-highcountryrider

Yay Bruno.

Pretty woman came to mind