Writer's Block Ch. 02

"NOOO!"

He sat bolt upright and grabbed tight hold of Maria's arms. "DONT!"

Reality hit him. He was awake and Maria was crying, petrified by his shouts and his hard grip. Tears streamed down her face as his grip slowly released and he arrived back in the waking world. He realised he was holding her and saw the tears. Letting go he said. "I'm sorry. I think I was dreaming." He knew full well he was dreaming. It was the same dream he'd always dreamed. "Are you ok? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

Crying with fright she was still a rabbit in headlights. She was too scared to move. Rance softly pulled her to him and held her as she began to settle. "I'm sorry. It's ok, it's ok." He repeated as he rocked her.

"What the hell was that?" She asked sternly when her breath was steady enough. "What the hell were you dreaming?"

Rance had hoped to get past this without needing to talk about it, but his unconscious mind had given his deepest secret away, and he knew Maria wasn't likely to let it go. He'd wanted to speak to her about it but had no idea how to bring it up. "I wasn't always alone." He gave her a small piece of information, allowing her to question him, letting her lead.

"You weren't always alone? You had a girlfriend, a wife?"

Rance nodded. "A wife."

"Why wouldn't you tell me? Are you divorced?"

Again before speaking he gave a visual answer by shaking his head. "No."

With a hand over her mouth and in disbelief she asked. "You're still married?" Tears began to form again.

"No, she died." His short answers weren't helping things.

"I'm sorry. I was being selfish when I asked. I didn't realise." She moved and held his hand. "If you don't want to talk about it, I understand."

"I do. I've wanted to since we met. I just had no idea how to." His eyes were fixed in the fire again. "Her name was Helen."

"That makes sense. You said 'No Helen, not there.' What did that mean?"

After a few deep breaths he told her. "We were out in the woods up near the cabin. We were moving across a steep slope to the east and I could see a loose section of rocks ahead. I thought she'd seen it and would skirt it but instead she stood on the loose section. The rock fall was huge. She fell, slid, rolled for about fifty metres. I dived to try to hold onto her falling myself. When I stopped she was about 15 metres away from me and not responding." He stopped and fell on his side as his breath left him.

"I'm sorry baby. I didn't know." Maria's heart broke with his.

They stayed where they were for a while. Rance letting it pour from him and Maria consoling him. "It's ok; you don't have to put yourself through it again."

"That's the problem. I didn't go through it the first time. I couldn't let it out. I knew I should, I knew I wanted to but I was just numb at the time." He regained some composure. "She was dead as soon as she stopped rolling. I knew it but I still tried to save her. My arm was broken but she was..." his eyes closed as he recalled the horrific vision of his late wife. All he could do was shake his head to tell Maria that he couldn't continue.

"I realised the wild was dangerous and after nearly dying myself I fully understand, but that must have been devastating. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. If talking about it hurts, you never have to do it again, but if it helps you can always bend my ear, as long as it helps."

Rance lifted himself up and held Maria tight. "I didn't mean to scare you. When you woke me I was in a loop in my dream and I reached out to hold her to save her but it was you I caught. Since the day I found you this is the first time I've had the dream. Before I found you it was a regular thing. I'd wake up screaming over to her but she wasn't there anymore. Actually the night before we met was the first time I'd dreamt anything other than the accident."

"How long ago was this?" Maria enquired.

"It will be four years in November."

The couple sat in silence after the exchange. Rance sitting behind Maria with his chin resting on her shoulder, his hands around her waist. He still cried gently but it wasn't a full bawl. Maria knew the pain of loss. She lost her mother suddenly to a heart attack just a couple of years previous. Loss can destroy a person from within with no outward cues. It's a silent killer. It can and does destroy lives and Maria knew Rance needed to get help as soon as he could, but she'd do what she could to help until then.

As the sun rose Rance kissed Maria's cheek. "Thank you."

"You have nothing to thank me for. I've done nothing."

"Actually..." Rance said as he looked into her eyes. "As much as you think I may have saved your life the day we met at the river, you saved my life too."

"I don't believe that for a second. You were living up there in the perfect life. You were writing..." She paused. The idea for the story that she'd seen in his desk, it wasn't for a fictional story. It was his story. "Oh my god. The story, you were writing your memoirs and she was the reason, wasn't she? And you, you weren't going to leave the cabin this year were you? You were going to probably overdose on the Vicodin you gave to me." The realisation of the truth hit her hard.

Rance couldn't believe how close she'd come to his thoughts. "I'd have been dead in the bed I was born in today, if you hadn't washed up for me to find."

"So the hero was also the damsel?" She asked.

"And the damsel was also the hero!"

Maria put her forehead to his. That way of knowing what the other was thinking. She put her lips to his with her hands on either side of his face. It was the place he liked to be most. It was warm and comfortable. He could be perched on a freezing mountain top but with her hands and lips on his face he could be anywhere he wanted to be.

Rance stood up stretching and changing the subject. "It's time to find some food." He held his hand out for her.

The exchange had taken maybe 40 minutes but it was a harsh realisation that they were still in a dangerous environment. They left the tarp up in case they'd need it another night but put the fire out. The last thing they wanted was to start a forest fire. All they had was a rifle and a handgun. Neither of them was great for small game but in that situation you have to piss with the cock you've got.

Rance signalled for Maria to follow him but stay as quiet as possible. Walking through the forest they came to a small clearing with short meadow grass. Again signalling he told her there were rabbits by hopping his fingers across his hand and putting his hands up to resemble rabbit ears. Maria chuckled silently which lightened Rance's mood. They waited quietly, or as quietly as Maria's stomach would allow. Rance spotted a large rabbit in the clearing and lifting the rifle sighted the little animal in the crosshairs. After a deep breath he held it. CRACK!

He walked over to pick up the rabbit. "I'll clean it here. The rifle made a bit of a mess."

He skinned the rabbit and gutted it in place. There was no need to cut the head off since it no longer existed. At least the animal didn't suffer.

Walking back to the camp was quiet again. Not because they needed to be but because nothing needed to be said. They liked that about each other. If there was a silence it didn't need to be filled with words. It was one reason that he liked the cabin so much.

At the camp Maria made use of her fire lighting skills once more. They'd only been away from it for an hour so leaving it might have been fine but Rance new very well how easy it was for an unwatched fire to get out of control in the woods. She had a good stock of wood to put on the fire once it was going but needed kindling. She recalled Rance making feather sticks in the cabin and gave it a go. It was harder than it looked. Trying to shave wood into a taper without slicing it off the end was difficult. She managed two but then gave up in favour of eating. Again she collected all the necessary bits and quickly got the fire going again. This time there was no messing about with unstable drills.

Rance skewered the rabbit and held it close to the fire. It hissed and spat a little but not much. Rabbit isn't a very fatty meat so it will burn quite easily. After half an hour they shared it enjoying how different it tasted to the bear meat they'd been eating recently. "I could never be a vegetarian now." Said Maria.

"I didn't think you ever were."

She thought back to her previous life. "At one time I thought it might be a good way to live, but honestly I enjoy meat too much."

After eating they made their way back to the truck. The river had dropped over night so Rance wanted to try and push across. "Is it safe?" Asked Maria.

"Safe is a relative term. Is it safe compared to wrestling a bear? Sure. Is it safe compared to playing tennis? Not so much."

"Helpful!" Maria said with sharp eyes pointing in his direction.

"Only one way to find out."

They got into the cab; Rance started the truck and made his way down to the river edge. The front wheels entered the water and as the water level rose it came into the cab through all the holes in the wheel wells. The good thing was the truck had no buoyancy so it gripped well. The bad thing was they were soaked in freezing cold river water from snow that hadn't long melted. 20 seconds later they drove out of the ford. "I'm soaked!" Maria screamed laughing. "I could have got into the back and stayed dry!"

Rance was laughing and saturated too. "Sorry, minor oversight on my part. Do you want to change or just drive?"

"The seat is soaked too so even if I put dry clothes on I'd still be wet."

"Don't worry honey; we're 20 minutes from civilisation."

The drive was cold and felt like hours. Driving into town they saw bars and small town shops. "Let's get a hotel room so we can get cleaned and changed. Then I have a surprise for you."

Maria wasn't expecting a surprise. "You got me something?"

"Not exactly." Rance wavered. "But I think you'll like it."

They pulled up to a hotel and got out, still wet from their little adventure. They walked in to looks of disgust from the staff. "Sorry. We had a little mishap a few miles back. We need a room."

"Singles or double?" Asked the receptionist.

"Double please." Said Maria with her arm linked through Rance's.

"$55 for the night. Please don't drag all that dirt through though."

Rance nodded and went to get the pack from the truck. He came back to looks of disbelief at the size of it. "You thinking of setting up camp in that room?"

"Just want to get changed." Rance said smiling at the receptionist.

She gave them the key and directions to their room. Up the stairs they walked hand in hand and into the room, the door closed behind them. Rance dropped the pack and took out their clothes while Maria went to turn on the shower. She took off her jacket and hung it up but her clothes were still on her when she walked in to the cubicle. Watching how Rance did his laundry had rubbed off on her and she washed each garment as she disrobed. Her shirt came off and got a scrub and was hung over the screen, then her T-shirt and bra, lastly her pants and underwear. They weren't properly clean but they were far better than when they walked in. Rance walked into the bathroom giving her a whistle of appreciation as he leant against the doorway. "Are you coming in? The water feels amazing." She said.

He undressed and hopped into the cubicle. It was bigger than the last shower they'd taken together. Rance took his time to wash Maria, making sure her got every single inch of her body clean, kissing her scar as he often did, the main reason for them being together. Then she did the same for him, washing his neck with light strokes then down his back in methodical stripes and up his sides, turning him and washing his chest and belly before doing his arms.

She enjoyed putting her head under the flowing water and letting it rinse the forest from her hair. In six weeks of not having a shower it was quite disturbing how much her hair had collected. A bath just wasn't the same.

Rance squeezed shampoo into his hand and spread it throughout her medium length wavy brown hair before starting to lather it. Maria was becoming aroused by his touch. She loved having her head massaged and almost considered the pleasure of it to be akin to an orgasm. Of course Rance knew it, which is why he was happy to wash her hair. After a few minutes of kneading her scalp she turned to him and kissed him hard. He pulled away. She nodded. "Teeth?"

"Teeth." He agreed.

She rinsed the shampoo from her hair along with some little twigs and grass, before putting in conditioner. She left the conditioner on while Rance washed his hair, she approached the sink to brush her teeth. Rance had never enjoyed a shower so much. The realisation that his life was no longer just an existence after losing Helen was a massive strain lifted from him. Almost as much strain as his pack had been on their walk out of the woods.

He breathed deeply noticing the smell of the shampoo and the mint of the toothpaste but also the hint of chlorine in the water. Fresh water still beat tap water hands down every time. He washed his hair feeling it change from dry and wiry so smooth and silky. He was in desperate need of a haircut but that could wait.

He rinsed his hair, stepped out of the shower and over to the sink to brush his teeth. Maria stepped back in to rinse the conditioner out then left to the bedroom. He took a mouthful of water and spat it down the sink, tapped his brush on the sink and went into the bedroom. Maria was lying on the bed waiting for him. "I no longer have a broken leg." She said with a cheeky grin on her lips and a twinkle in her eye.

"No you don't!" Replied Rance as he crawled onto the bed and over to her. "I love you Maria."

That was the first time he'd admitted that particular feeling to her. "I love you too, and by the way, you should probably call me Ria." She laughed hard.

"Are you serious? I told you six weeks ago that you should call me Rance and you waited until today to give me that useful little nugget?" He tickled her as punishment for withholding relevant information.

"I give, I give." She squawked and he let up. "All my friends call me Ria. I liked you calling me Maria because it made me feel grown up but I do prefer Ria."

"Pleased to meet you Ria." Rance said before planting a hard kiss on her. Her arms moved around him holding him tight as her legs also moved around him. He moved into position and paused as he felt the heat from her womanhood. "Oh please don't make me w..." He pushed into her causing her to moan with pleasure. He held himself inside her until she started to rock. He moved with her at her pace. He was determined to make her day. He loved how slight she was while being so strong. He still couldn't believe his luck at a woman like Ria be interested in him at all, never mind to the extent she was.

Her hands traced patterns around his arms and chest until she began to climax, then she held him tight telling him she loved him. Once she came down she'd stroke his skin again until he brought her to another orgasm. She kissed him hard, humming through it.

Pushing him off, he felt a bit put out until she got up and pushed him onto his back. "I like to go on top. I haven't had that privilege with you yet because of my leg."

She knelt astride him and kissed him wildly. She was a very reserved woman in everyday life but when she was turned on, watch out! She guided herself down onto him and began to slowly move, deep, hard. She felt another climax growing, she slowed building it and edged for a while before tipping over and moaning loudly as she again kissed him. He felt every one of her orgasms but this one was monstrous. He was surprised she wasn't getting cramp at the convulsion. She cried and repeated the simple prayer "oh my god" over and over. Rance was enthralled by the strength of it, transfixed by the look of every single emotion all at once on her face.

Finally she managed to take a breath and relaxed. "Oh my god, baby. I've, never..."

She was still in the throes of ecstasy as she began to grind again. This one wasn't for her though. She did this for him. She watched his face as his expression began to change. She knew him well enough to know when his was about to hit, so she slowed to keep him from going off too quickly. He was almost begging for release when she finally allowed it. He'd never felt anything like it before. He buried his face in her neck and wept as he came for her. "I love you Ria!"

She smiled and put her head on his as she held him. She waited for his erection to subside before disconnecting and kissing him again. "Let's go and get some food." She said.

They dressed in nice clean clothes and walked out into town, holding hands the whole time. They found a nice little place just off the main street. They ordered beers and then looked at the menu. "Hmm no escargot in garlic butter, foie gras on toasted brioche or fillet mignon in blue cheese sauce. But they do have raspberry cheesecake!"

Maria laughed. It had become a running joke for the past month and a half. With bear meat and pasta/rice as their main food, they were the favourite things to hanker for. Although the restaurant may not have had escargot, foie gras or fillet mignon they did have a rib eye steak in pepper sauce so that was close enough. Maria opted for salmon en croute with a lemon butter sauce. They didn't do much talking which wasn't uncommon for them but the staff wondered if they were escaped mental patients with the way the stared at each other in silence. They were just happy enough to explore each other's features wanting to mentally map every nuance.

Before they knew it their meals had arrived. The smell was heavenly, an assault on their senses. Neither of them had smelled much more than fried meat in weeks. They tucked in. Ria's first mouthful made her eyes close as she savoured it. The fresh fish flavour and the tang of the lemon sauce set her taste buds on end. She almost had goose bumps on her tongue. Rance cut into his rare steak and inhaled deeply as the pepper made his nose tingle. He took a bite and was in the same food heaven as Ria. The staff watched them thinking they mustn't get out much. In truth they'd been as far out as they ever wished to be and this was their return.

After the first mouthfuls they ate the meals like animals. Not wanting to wait for another bite. They'd forgotten how hungry they were. Since the previous morning all they'd eaten was some dried fruit, half a rabbit each and some fried tree bark. This wasn't going to be enough. They looked at the menu again. Ria chose a seafood risotto and Rance wanted to try the swamp and turf special, which consisted of beef, pork, lamb, chicken and alligator steak. They each had another beer to wash it down.

After two main meals each, they ordered four raspberry cheesecakes. The staff were stunned at their appetite considering the size of them. They sat across from each other smiling like lunatics lending more weight to the feelings of the restaurant staff. They drank more beer and began to feel a little tipsy. Ria pulled out her card but Rance said. "No. This is on me."

"I don't think it matters anymore does it?" Ria asked.

Rance nodded his agreement. "You're right. It's no longer you and me. It's us."

Ria knew she wanted him to be hers forever and she knew he wanted the same thing. Whatever spell they were under, she was thankful for. They left the restaurant and walked around town until they came to a lockup. Rance stopped and looked at her as he smiled.

"What have you got up your sleeve you mischievous man?"

He walked to the shutters and took a key out of his pocket, unlocking the padlock and lifting the shutter door. The room was dark and for all she knew it was empty, but Rance disappeared into the darkness. Suddenly a roar came from the darkness and lights turned on. The lights came towards Ria and she stepped backwards. Rance rolled down the window of his Porsche Cayman. "Surprise!"