Writer's Block Ch. 04

On the 20th of March the doctors agreed he'd healed well and could be brought around. Ria was asked to stay away for a while until they'd transferred him off the ventilator so he could breathe for himself, as it could be quite a traumatic experience. She agreed to stay close by in the cafeteria until they called her to the ward.

She sat drinking cup after cup of coffee, eating cupcakes and watching the comings and goings of the staff, visitors and inpatients. She was called and told he was awake and doing well but he was still groggy. She was welcome to go to see him but was warned that he wasn't with it.

She arrived at his room to see him propped up slightly. The look that appeared across her face was elation. At that point she couldn't have stopped the smile if she wanted to. She walked to the bed, held his hand, saying. "Rance, how are you feeling."

"I feel hungry."

He was very spaced out. Ria's smiled faded as he failed to recognise her. "Rance, it's Maria. You remember me?"

His eyes were slow, he was distant, his head lolled around like he had little control over it and He stared into space. Ria almost lost her composure and felt her lower lip quiver but recovered as the nurse came in saying. "He might not recognise you at first. He's still quite full of drugs so don't worry. He will come round after a while."

Ria felt better knowing it was a normal response to the anaesthetic so she calmed herself and sat next to his bed waiting for him to come back to reality.

He was talking a lot of crap while he was still heavily dosed but slowly began to come around after about 40 minutes. Ria was just glad he was awake and could hear his voice again. The first time he said her name he called her Maria which caused her to smile wildly and her eyes to fill. The second time, he used "Ria" as he asked her "Ria are you ok?"

It was just like him to be in a hospital bed after suffering serious trauma and asking if others were ok before thinking of himself.

"I'm fine baby. I'm perfectly fine." Ria replied. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm ok, I think. What happened?"

"What do you remember?" She asked him.

Rance thought back. "We were in the restaurant and Rebecca came in. She was being weird. Then we left."

"That's the last thing?"

"Yeah, I recall walking out of the door and some way down the road but that's it."

Ria took a deep breath to steady herself before explaining the course of events after his last memory. She told him about the walk home and opening the door before seeing the flashes. She told him about her actions and about the outcome.

"You're telling me Rebecca's dead, and it's because you stabbed her?"

Ria starting crying uncontrollably at her own memory of events. Rance couldn't do much from his bed. He couldn't remember any of it. Not the walk up his steep hill, not the affection they'd shown each other outside the house, not opening the door and not being shot. Nothing. He was trying to get his head around the fact that Rebecca had shot him but found no rhyme or reason for it. He was stunned into disbelief by Ria's words, almost like he didn't believe her.

"Are you sure that's what happened?" He asked, trying to make sense of it all.

"I was there Rance, I saw the flash as she pulled the trigger. I remember running at her and pushing the knife into her chest. I remember it all very clearly."

"And Rebecca is dead? You're sure that she's dead?"

Ria didn't want to have the conversation anymore. She wanted her Terrance back, not this person who, it seemed, was judging her.

"I don't understand why you're asking me these things in this way. It's like you don't trust me." Ria was upset by his disbelief.

She walked out of the room and out of the ward. She didn't need to be made to feel bad, she felt bad about it all as it was. Sitting on a bench outside the hospital she broke down trying to hug herself for some comfort.

"Hey honey, what going on?" Came Kelly's voice.

Ria stood up and threw herself at Kelly. "He's awake but doesn't believe my version of events. He thinks I'm lying."

"I'm sure he's probably still a little goofy after the drugs. Come on let's go in and talk to him together."

Kelly gave Ria a tissue for her tears and linked her arm before walking in. They approached his room together and when he saw Kelly with Ria he was shocked. "How the hell do you two know each other? What the hell is going on?"

Kelly went around the bed and held Rance's hand. "Rance you've been in an induced coma for two weeks. Rebecca shot you twice. If Ria hadn't been there you might be dead now."

"So it's true then? Rebecca really shot me, and Ria really killed her?"

"Unfortunately yes, but you're still alive."

Rance's head fell back onto the pillow. "Jesus, why the hell would she shoot me?"

"Jealousy at the fact that we are together? I blame myself for telling her we were engaged."

"You did what?" Rance showed Ria anger for the first time. "Why the hell would you say that?"

Ria's breath left her as he asked her, like her whole life force was leaving her. Her eyes filled again and her body shook. She was losing him, she could feel it. The ground was sucking her down and she felt tingling in her fingers.

*********

When she came around she was on a bed. Kelly was next to her and so was Len. "What happened?" She asked.

"The doctors are asking the same question. You passed out in Rance's room. Your heart beat was irregular so they wanted to run some tests. Rance is upset and doesn't know whether he's coming or going. The whole thing must be confusing for him." Kelly said. "I'm going to sit with him and tell him you're ok."

Len stayed with Ria. "Quite a pair you make."

"I think we're over Len. I think he's done with me."

"Nonsense, he's just confused. In a day or two it'll be a funny little glitch."

Ria stared at the ceiling tiles wishing they'd never left the cabin. It might have been dangerous up there but considering what happened nearly three weeks earlier she'd have rather taken her chances with the bears.

Len sat next to her holding her hand to comfort her. A nurse came in with a machine, placed pads on Ria's chest and switched it on causing that familiar beeping which had kept her close company in the previous weeks. Her life had come together after her canoe accident, now it was all falling apart because of Rebecca. "I'm starting to really hate that bitch."

"Rebecca? No point hating a dead woman. Besides, I think you ended with the upper hand in that."

In the other room Kelly sat with Rance. "What's going on Rance? Ria is in pieces about this whole thing. When Rebecca shot you it was Ria who protected you from her and killed her in doing so. You should be thankful for everything she's done. She feels like you've given up on her."

"That's not what's happening. I'm just confused."

"I don't think that's going get much better. We've all lived the last three weeks with the aftermath of her actions and we're still confused too. Ria's heart has been broken numerous times over past couple of weeks and the only person who can fix it is you."

"I'm sorry Kelly. I shouldn't be taking it out on her. She didn't shoot me."

"No point saying sorry to me. She's the one who needs the apology. She's the one who needs you! I'm going to put her mind at ease for now but next time you see her you need to tell her how much she means to you." Kelly kissed Rance's head and left to go to Ria.

Ria was talking with Len about how she didn't need to be checked. She felt ok and it was probably just a faint. Kelly walked in to the room smiling at Ria. "He said he's sorry for speaking to you the way he did. He's confused. I told him we're confused too so I think he feels like he's caught up now."

"Can I see him?" Ria was breaking her heart again. The stress of the whole thing was hurting her. "I need to speak to him. I want to know where I stand with him."

"Come on." said Len. "We'll tell the nurses your fine and go see him."

She removed the pads from her skin, jumped off the bed and almost ran to Rance's room. As she turned the corner she saw his face, his kind face, smiling his handsome smile. She paused at the doorway. "I'm sorry babe, I'm so sorry." His words, soft and full of shame.

She walked to him and kissed him. He lifted his right arm and held her face, his hands still rough and comfortingly familiar. "I do need to ask why you told her we were engaged."

"You don't remember? She sat with us in the restaurant. You weren't happy at her sitting with us. I introduced myself as your fiancée. She seemed to think you two were an item before you went out to the cabin and that you'd left without telling her."

"She's a complete psycho - was a complete psycho."

"Preaching to the converted babe." Ria told him.

"When you told her we were engaged, she'll have snapped."

"You smiled in agreement with my actions on the night though."

"I don't recall that exchange. I remember walking out but I don't remember seeing her in the restaurant."

"Do you remember passing me a ring after she'd left?" Ria asked hoping he did.

"I remember buying a ring for you when we were in Ignace. I don't remember giving it to you though. So we are engaged?"

Ria looked at him sympathetically. "Not exactly. You passed the ring over to me after I'd said it, you asked me without actually asking. I told you it wasn't the right time but after the incident I wished I'd just said yes."

"I'm not recalling any of this. I'm sorry." His eyes locked to hers and filled. "Marry me Ria."

She smiled as she asked. "Are you being serious?"

He thought back to Henry's words back at his cabin. "I'm always serious, unless I'm laughing!"