All Comments on 'WSIM24B Ch. 03'

Must say chapter 3 riveted me!

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I enjoy the kind of Cloak and Dagger with Major Renfro, and I felt you really presented us with a true prison picture...and Thorne didn't manage to escape unscathed. So while he's pretty quick, sizes up situations quite well, he still doesn't see everything coming quite yet. So I'm very interested to see how you grow him as a character and how he handles situations he's unaccustomed to. I really have to say after all the pounding that trainer MD gave him, it was quite appropriate that he landed the uppercut. One of the posters from chapter 2 will probably read this account and maybe do a couple of happy dances, since that poster was quite accurate about what was likely to happen to Thorn after he decked Ramon.

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I love the little touch with him possibly cultivating Lori as an outside contact at the female academy, because he is right: he has to find an outside resource that can give him more Intel on the lay of the land because what's going on inside that academy is obviously more than what meets the eye. I'm sure you will reveal it, but it really does sound very odd how that Colonel Jay is so sculpted.

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The only thing you surprised me with was mentioning Abby, but not in this chapter. You suggest he will meet her under less than ideal circumstances, which leads me to believe she somehow going to be on this planet, and somehow reveal something that's fairly damning either about the program or about herself... but I can live with that.

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I was over the moon to see this posted, and as always your sentence structure and descriptions really make me laugh at the most unexpected times; really your descriptions excel at wonderful pacing that always seem to accurately match the situation Thorne experiences. I'm so looking forward to reading chapter 4, and hopefully the system will allow it to post a lot faster than 3. Of course you get 5 stars, hands down! Thanks for more great work! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This is fantastic writing. Three chapters in, and this is excellent. The pace of the story - of all your stories - is exceptional. The story flows seamlessly. It’s engaging. And the sex scenes are real! Fucking an android who you don’t have any emotional connection to isn’t a gonzo scene. It’s mechanical! Thank you!

Great chapter. I’m looking forward to what comes next. The time travel component is really interesting to me. Will he meet someone from his past, but she is much younger/older when they meet again? Really interesting concept. Or, maybe the time gap means he never meets anyone from the academy again. That’s what makes it fascinating! And the reader on his/her toes. You could go so many directions with this. It’s why I love your world-building. Brilliant!

Criticisms…uh, I want more. Does that count? It’s brilliant. Honestly, great writing on every level. Wonderful protagonist, exceptional pace, engaging plot, lots of suspense, and lots of erotic content that makes sense and fits with the protagonist’s character. I think the only thing that could derail you is if you include a gender-bending alien that takes the main character away from a beloved female character…Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. :-)

Five stars, as usual. An absolutely wonderful story. Can’t wait to see how it plays out.

A somewhat interesting story but where is it going? What's the plot? Just some horny woman asking for male bodyguards so they can have some sex?

I got it! The only thing that was missing was inside joke about a trainer saying I didn't see you on the field for the camouflage test.. and Thorne would have said thank you sir! 🤪🧐😂🤣

Going OK. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

OK, this is an interesting kind of 'fucked up casual.'

I'm liking it. But the Colonel HAS to be up to more than just easy Dick.

5*

I'm getting a little Lee Child vibe here. There was a "that was for sure" Reacherisn early on, and, of course, Thorn's detached, directed, and determined approach to brutal kinetic violence. Plus this story has that kind of picaresque quality that Child uses (though that's pretty much true across the genre, now that I think about it).

I like that Thorn's first case resolved out of his control. He was just a tool inserted in the right place to provide the necessary leverage to get the desired result. Since he survived, he gets to be used again. Period. No pats on the back and no getting read into any more details of the case than he'd picked up in passing. His job was to be convincingly shivved (or, possibly, shanked).

As for what Colonel Pussybot is up to.... well, my guess is there's probably a different kind of diversion fo a different type of training for a different kind of intelligence service with a radically different agenda than the one Thorn just went through. AE has set the scene of a space empire at relative peace with itself and its environs. That means there's a lot of skilled motherfuckers (a technical description) trained to be terrible tools of social mayhem with little or no hope of ever being used. Just like Thorn before he got recruited.

Colonel Honeypot's mechanical sexual peccadillos are a means to an end, I'd bet. I'm dying to find out, of course.

Really great so far.

LOOOOCH! Although the only Lucic I'm familiar with wouldn't really qualify as handsome. Once again, a spectacular effort from my favourite author!

I am curious to see where this goes. I suspect a secret military contingent planting vat grown female agents in key locations bent on a military and governmental takeover. Or aliens. :)

Great as usual. One issue though. Don't care who the women is, a man as well trained as he is, would destroy her very quickly. Basic biology cannot be overcome.

Well, dang...not tons here to report in terms of parallels with WSIM24B--except that we see "Intelligence" finally mentioned as a part of AFOTA. About the only other thing is Cook's terrible brain fart of not paying attention to his guides, "Fric and Frac"; that's kind of like Thorn in how he's missed some crucial details at different points...but that's it. Actually, I do remember Cook did engage a crewmember in very light sparring while enroute to CW144, and aside from discovering no Pylosian consulate there for the last 15 years (oops)...he was now realizing how badly he was hosed at that instant.