X-Change: Homecoming Pt. 03

"I should pull out," I said.

Bethany gripped me tighter. "In me," she demanded. "I want it all."

I knew it was wrong since we'd done it before, but I still did it. The pleasure of being inside my girl took me beyond the threshold.

She said, "I love you, Tommy."

I came deep within her shortly after. Her tight quim sucking up every spurt of my hot seed like a hungry mouth. We still hadn't gotten into using protection. What would our parents think? Nothing good I imagined.

I collapsed atop of Bethany—pressing her into the ottoman. We hadn't given any thought into leaving stains. I imagined our parents had some cleaners in the garage, and that we'd eliminate any evidence of our last romp. It would have to be the last time. After everything that happened it was time for a change. Ben was still young, but I was most definitely an adult. It was so hard to pull away from her. My cock slowly softened and eventually I was out of her warm depths and into the cold, open air. That was always one of the most interesting feelings post sex. Your wet prick settling into a resting position in a suddenly cold world. Post orgasm my cock hurt.

I pulled myself off of Bethany and rested back on my knees. Not caring how the carpet could be uncomfortable. Our fun had been well worth it.

Bethany lied there for a time as her breathing settled. There were beads of sweat on her pretty face. Our love-making hadn't been the longest, but it was intense enough to need a moment or two.

She stared off into no where for a time, and then her gaze returned to me.

She said, "I don't think this can be the last time. I like doing it too much."

"We don't have a choice. If dad learns that we did it again, he'll freak the Hell out, and this time I'll be kicked out for good. He'll also totally cut off your pill supply."

"I haven't been using as many."
"How's that? You always seem to be Bethany."

"I think they're lasting longer or something."

"That's not good, Ben," I said. "You can't stay like this."

"I won't," she said. "But I'm sick of you two acting like I'm not on control. I've done this probably more than all of us now. I'm the expert here."

I knew that if I really picked at it I could drag all the flaws of her logic out into the cruel sunlight. I should've done that, but it was difficult for me. I just couldn't stand the idea of her being mad. My father's voice screamed inside my head that Bethany was really just Ben, but that didn't add up for me. To me she was Bethany through and through.

"I trust you," I said. "Just know that we both care about you."

"I know that."

Things seemed to end in a positive way. We took a nice, hot shower together to wash away our concerns and the love juice. She liked being with me in the shower a lot. For myself, soaping up and washing her plump body was a delight. It took considerable effort not to have it escalate. Feeling her hot, slick body was enough to renew the hardness in my cock. We took some time to make out and tease each other as we washed, but we both knew that time was not our ally. Things had to come to an end as they always do. That was how life was. I held her there under the shower of hot water. We had that last wonderful moment.

Things came to an end.

We set about trying to clean everything up—to bring everything back to zero. Normal, if there was such a thing anymore. I was even able to picture us returning to some semblance of the old ways. Ben would be Ben again, and we would go on as if none of it had ever happened.

That wasn't going to be.

Bethany slept with me that night. Dad texted us that he would be returning the next day. He said that there were things that we needed to talk about. I could only imagine. Did he suspect that Bethany and I were still carrying on? Did he know that Ben was still taking the pills? Ben had to be stashing them away somewhere. I remembered the little black bag in his underwear drawer. If I found them then I could flush them down the toilet. A good lesson for both of us. We would have to deal with our lives as they really were.

Or I could take them myself. Tammy could come back. Even if it was only for a short time. Steve was still texting me. He apologized for coming on too strong and moving too fast. He was just being honest with how he felt. I didn't want to think about it, yet it was always there beneath the surface. Even after all the intensity with Bethany. I went to sleep thinking about Steve. The next morning I woke up to a cell phone ringing on my nightstand. I grabbed at the phone blindly after fumbling around for it.

"Yeah?"

"Tommy? You slept in?"

"Yes, dad. I'm not working so why not?"

"Well, get up now. Make sure the house is clean. Your mom is coming over today."

"She is?"

"Yes, so I want the house looking perfect. Got it?"

"Sure...okay, fine."

He hung up, and I knew how we were spending the morning. Things were on track to return to normal. More so than I really wanted. At least I wouldn't be left to do it alone. I rolled over to wake up Ben, and ran straight into Bethany. She hadn't changed back.

"Hey," I said. I blew air on her face. "Wake up."

Bethany's eyes slowly opened. She looked at me like I was a dog turd on her carpeting.

"Not cool," she said. "I wanted to sleep."

"You didn't change back."

"What do you mean?"

"Notice anything?"

"You being a dick?"

She took her bearings for a moment and felt herself.

"Yeah," she said. "I guess you're right. Weird."

"That doesn't concern you?"

"Not really. The drug can build up, I suppose. It'll go away."

"We have to clean the house because dad says that mom is coming over."

She sat up. "When?"

"He didn't say, but it's happening."

Bethany leapt from the bed. She was still nude and I watched her plump butt as she made her way out of my room. Despite our new problems I still couldn't get enough of her. If she didn't revert soon there wasn't going to be enough bullshit to conjure in the world to help us. I got up and threw some clothes on. When I went to the kitchen Bethany was already there doing dishes. She'd put on some of Ben's clothes—sweat pants and a t-shirt.

"Go check the bathrooms," she said. "They should be cool, but you know how mom is."

"Are you going to be okay?"

Bethany took a breath, and then said: "I should be. No need to panic yet. Let's just clean up."

We spent the next several hours cleaning the house. The whole time I was anxiously waiting for Bethany to change back. I'd never actually seen the transformation back to a male, and I have to admit that I was curious. My own transformation back to "Tommy" had been in my sleep. I wondered if it was as traumatic as the initial change into female. Would the person changing back believe that their new form was the real them?

I was taking out the trash when our father arrived. He was still in his business wear. He must've maintained strict discipline when it came to using the pills. He dragged a wheeled-suitcase behind him.

"Welcome back," I said, trying to project confidence. If I didn't he was bound to catch on.

"Thanks. Is the house clean?"

"Of course. We got it done."

He allowed a small smile.

"Sorry for the push," he said. "Your mom and I have been talking the last few days. I think that I've convinced her to at least try again. The fact that you're back here almost makes it seem like it was years ago."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why did you two separate?"

"It wasn't because you and Ben."

"I didn't say that."

He glared at me. "Ben told you. The reason that I warn about the pill is because I've suffered from it. Your mom found out that I'd been using it to change and didn't take it well. This was compounded by the fact that your brother told her the pill wasn't so bad. After all: he was taking it too."

"He said that you gave him the first one."

"No, I didn't. That little shit." He took a breath. "He caught me coming home as 'Susan' when your mom was out of town visiting her parents. She'd said that Ben was going to go with her, but he lied and said he had some important homework. I spent the night trying to calm him down and bribing him into secrecy. He stole the first pill the next day and nearly went nuts. We came to an agreement that he would get an allowance of them as long as he behaved, and he couldn't even do that."

"Sorry," I said.

"Why are you sorry?"

"I couldn't have made it easier for you, and now I'm involved."

He shrugged. "Things always get complicated. That's how life is, son. Anyway, where's Ben?"

"He's cleaning," I said. "The house is like really clean. But, Dad...the thing is..."

In my mind I went over all the possible explanations. None of them were promising, but I remembered something that my father had taught me years ago. He was a salesman to his core. He'd told us for years that as long as you can run some kind of bullshit you're never dead in the water. It's probably oversimplified, but I always took it to heart. Unfortunately, Bethany walked outside and ruined any chance of easing our dad into the situation. She looked crushed. There were tears in her eyes, and she walked towards us numbly. She was holding something small in her hand.

Our father pointed at her. "Damn it, Ben. I told you to stop taking the pills."

"It's...it's too late," she said.

I got close to her. "What do you mean?"

Before she could respond our father continued: "Where'd you even get more pills? We're out."

She shook her head. "There was another box in the filing cabinet. I've been using those."

The color drained from our father's face. "Those are extra-strength pills. I didn't want any of us to use those."

"I needed it," she said. "I love being Bethany...but..." She held up what she was carrying, and I finally saw that it was a pregnancy test pee-stick.

Our father shook for a moment, and then planted his face in his hand. "Tell me that you didn't," he said. "I had faith in you two. Misplaced obviously, but I had it."

Bethany stood there crying. Everything that we'd been through over the last several days finally came to a head. We'd been going in this direction since the beginning. It was only then that I was willing to see it. I walked over to Bethany, and put my arms around her. I loved her in more ways that one, and as fucked up as our situation was I still loved her.

Dad's phone chimed with a text. He looked at it then at us.

"Your mom is on her way. Five minutes, she says."

I held Bethany. "Well," I offered, "At least we'll all be together. She always said that she wanted Ben and me to have kids. Maybe she'll be happy for that."

My dad looked like he was going to hit me. I wasn't going to react. I'd earned every bit of it. However, he relaxed. I suppose that sometimes things can get to a point where it's so bad all a person can do is just take it in.

"I'm going inside," he said. "I need some scotch. You two come in and get ready to welcome your mom home."

I led Bethany into the house, and took her to the couch. The tears had slowed down. We didn't speak. I held her hand for a time, and then went to make sure that everything else about the house was fine. We'd been exceptional in our cleaning. Even the ottoman didn't look suspicious. At any other time I would've been excited for how stoked our mom was going to be. Dad was in his recliner sitting in silence holding his drink. An ice cube slowly melting into his generous pour of Glenlivet. Those five minutes were the longest of our lives. Eventually, we heard mom's Escalade roll into the driveway.

She was already talking to us about her drive over before she even entered the house, and continued prattling on with no one responding to her. That was all very normal. Cathy, my mom, entered the house like she'd never left. She dropped her purse on the table in the entry way as well as her giant collection of keyrings.

"—and you wouldn't believe the people that are in that neighborhood now," she said. Then she took note of the silence that was greeting her, and came into the living room to see us. She was still in her own business-wear: professional but still very young and trendy. Mom's blonde was hair perfectly coiffed and her blue eyes bright and scanning the room.

"What's wrong with you guys?"

None of us had a chance to respond before she noticed Bethany sitting next to me.

"Hello," she offered. "I don't think we've met."

Bethany looked down and started to cry again.

"What's wrong?"

"Mom," I said. "This is Ben or rather 'Bethany'. You should probably sit down."

Her gaze lingered on Bethany for a moment, and then her look turned grim. Her piercing blue eyes settling on our father in his chair with his scotch in hand.

"Goddamn it, Stanley," she said. "You told me that you were stopping this shit."

"I tried, Cathy. Honestly, I did. Apparently, it wasn't good enough. Our boys are old enough to make their own decisions, and now that they have one of them is a girl now."

"For how long? You said these were temporary things."

Dad nodded. "That was the rule that I was abiding by. It would've worked. But now..."

"Now what?"

"Your daughter 'Bethany' is pregnant. We're going to be grandparents it seems."

Mom stood there with her mouth open trying to comprehend the new state of reality. It was like someone had told her that suddenly down was up and people ate their food through their assholes. We all sat there watching her. Sure that at any movement she would explode into a rage which that we'd never seen. It was going to be epic and terrible. Yet it didn't happen.

Mom came over to the couch and told Bethany to stand up. Bethany was hesitant at first, but did so. She quickly found herself in warm embrace from our mom.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie," our mom said to her. "I should've been here."

Bethany was perplexed. "You're not mad?"

"Oh, I'm fucking livid, sweetie. We'll be dealing with this for the rest of our lives, but it's not just about us now, is it? If you really are pregnant then you're life isn't your own anymore. There's a baby on the way, and we need to prepare. You have a lot to learn. So you and I are going to be spending a lot of time together."

Mom took a moment to look Bethany up and down. "Bethany? That's a nice name. You do make a beautiful girl. I still think you need to go back on a diet, but that will have to wait. There are consequences now, and you'll be dealing with them. Do you understand?"

Bethany nodded solemnly.

"Who's the father?" mom asked.

Bethany looked around for a while. "I think I know who it is, but it probably wasn't going to work with him anyway, mom. He's gone."

"Maybe that's for the best."

"I still might change back," said Bethany. "The papers with the pills say so. After the baby anyway."

"We'll see," said mom. "Either way you're going to be a parent. That's how it is now."

Mom looked over at us. "I'm expecting some more responsibility now. Tommy, if you're going to stay with us you'll need to get an actual job and contribute. School can be part time. Money is going to be tight for us."

I agreed.

That was the new trajectory of our life. I officially had a sister now and she was pregnant. We didn't mention the possibility of my being the father to our mom. Bethany had been sleeping with other guys before me so there was no way to know for sure. So we didn't say anything. It wasn't as though mom was totally fine with it. Not at all. The three of us were in the semi-permanent doghouse. Bethany and I were expected to be "adulting" all the time. Those few care free days were such a far off distant memory that they hardly seemed to have been real at all.

I asked dad to help get me a job with him as he was technically still without a junior sales rep. He had some pull and managed to get me a quasi-internship. As long as he kept delivering the sales they didn't mind if he played things a little fast and loose. That was how the sales game was played. We were all changing though. Mom began educating Bethany as to what she'd be going to experience as a mother. It was shocking for me to witness the transition. Ben, my brother for all of my life, was gone. Our father and Bethany occasionally mentioned that she could still change back once the baby came, but as the months went on I don't believe that any of us really believed that.

After much hard work and a probationary period I finally received the official position within the company, and I was learning sales from the master with the understanding that I would slowly complete something of a college education on the side. Life settled into a comfortable routine for a time. I should've known that it couldn't be that simple. Nothing in life ever is. Dad and I were working. He opted out of the meeting with Avi and his associates citing a family emergency, which was true enough. However, clients will only take "no" for so long. After much finagling they decided that I would meet with Steve to work on the future distribution plan.

I met Steve at the same loft bar in the hotel downtown. It was easier to get a fake ID since I had a real job and some actual money to spend. I blended in with so many of the other young businessmen in a suit that cost too much and that I didn't really like to wear. I'd been at the bar nursing an Old Fashioned, a drink that my father got me into, when Steve approached. He'd actually recognized me in my male form.

"Hey," he said, walking over. "Long time no see, huh?"

His sharp Korean features still so alluring to me. Even after so long apart, I already felt Tammy coming to the surface now that he was near us again. He held out his hand, which I took. Honestly, we both probably wanted more, but this was where we were.

"It's good to see you," I said. "I missed you."

He smiled, and said: "We had an amazing night that one time, right?"

"We did. I still think about it."

That was true. Despite all of my new responsibilities and adult lifestyle I'd never escaped that night as "Tammy".

"Avi wants me to get a good deal," said Steve. "There's some talk of competing products being developed."

That was news. "Well, I'm sure we can work it out."

"He was very disappointed that we couldn't party like last time."

"I know. Susan regrets that, but some things came up. I do have some good leeway to make a deal. I'm an actual salesman now."

"Man, huh?" He was disappointed.

"My brother...my sister is pregnant. It's complicated."

He nodded. Steve ordered his own drink, a dry martini and another round for me. After we drank for a time in silence and did a little business. We ended up back at what he really wanted to talk about.

"I get it," he said. "You care about Bethany, and she was really nice. If she's pregnant that's nice, but she's not you. Not Tammy."

He knew how to hit the nail home. After several more drinks, including switching to beers because he'd gotten into craft beer in the last few months, I was a little less guarded. My mind marinated in drink and commitments to my responsibilities were muddled.

I said, "Steve...you were special to me. I meant that."

He smiled. "I still want you. I know that you're still Tammy beneath this mask. You're still my girl."

"Steve..."

It wasn't even me responding in that moment. Tammy was there for just an instant.

"Come on," he said. "You feel weird and unfulfilled now, because you know that you don't belong this way."

"Steve...no."

"One more night," he said. "Stay with me."

His hand found mine. He wanted me, and I wasn't too proud to lie and say that I didn't like it. I did. More than I could ever admit.

"Yes," I finally admitted. "I want to stay."

Steve led the way from the loft bar up another floor to the suites. It was an even better room than last time. Larger and our view of the bay looked grander under the evening lights. He explained that since he was alone he had complete control of the company credit card and the hotel reservations tied to it. His was a far better set up than what I got from my father's company. I was still the junior salesman, but even a veteran like my father had to work to get a good hotel. The company expected their salesmen to make money for their employers not to spend it all.