Yes, Chef

Content warning: drug and alcohol abuse, illness

Seven-ten, Ben Cardoso rued as the shrimp in his pan did a synchronised dance in the air as he tossed them, then tossed them again. Such a long way from the fucking finish line. The Saturday night dinner service was just getting its push, and he couldn't imagine that any of the other line cooks who bustled around him were having a better time.

Nell's was quickly becoming the hottest spot to eat in Ottawa's bustling Centretown, largely due to the diligence of its owner and chef de cuisine who demanded her kitchen function like the inner workings of a clock.

"Cardoso," Chef Nell called out as Ben was plating. "Ben!" her voice boomed loudly enough to shake Ben's arm from across the kitchen. He couldn't decide whether to be grateful to her for giving him the opportunity of his life, or to wish she get hit by a snowplow. He gathered himself and turned around to face his boss.

"Well?" she asked as the noise in the kitchen dropped to a roar.

Seven-twenty, goddammit.

"Yes, Chef?" he offered out loud.

"That's what you should have said the first time," Nell reprimanded. "Finish what you're doing and then chiffonade some basil for me. Not a fine cut like you usually do—chiffonade."

I did that before the service started, you fucking bell pepper! How much fucking basil are you garnishing with when everything was mise'd and ready to go??

"Yes, Chef," he said, determined to keep his head down and keep working, at least until he'd rounded out three years in her kitchen. It felt like an impossibility to count down the months when he could barely deal with counting the minutes. Then, he felt a familiar hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry about it, man, I got it," his best friend, Tyler, said from behind him on his way to the back. Tyler, the floor manager, was how he even got to meet Chef Nell a little over two years ago. She was already a celebrity chef, which Ben found was a bit of a laughable term because no one outside of the industry had actually heard of Canadian celebrity chefs.

He'd initially thought his parents would be upset he wasn't working in an office like his siblings, but it made sense that a pair of immigrant parents with five kids were content one of them could start a career without incurring student loans.

He'd been nervous when they'd simply stared at him as he told him he was going to culinary school in Toronto. He panicked a bit when his mother wordlessly got up and left the living room. Upon following her into the kitchen, however, he was relieved to see her breaking out the peppercorns and bay leaves.

"You will not learn to cook other people's food without first learning our Filipino food," she'd told him in Tagalog. Then, she patiently instructed him on how to stew the meat for adobo in vinegar and soy sauce, while she cooked the rice.

Ben made a different dinner for his family every night in those last two weeks before leaving for Toronto. It was after coming back home to Ottawa, then meeting Tyler and cooking for him a few times, that he learned who his friend worked for.

"Ty, no, you have enough going on," Ben gestured with his chin toward the dining room. "Besides, the harpy is expediting right over there in the window so she'll see me not licking the ground she walks on."

"Nell's not that bad," Tyler laughed.

"You're not working the line, jackass," Ben said, stealing a glance at his boss scrutinizing his shrimp dish before deciding whether to send it out. He swore he felt a migraine coming on the moment he saw her let out an exasperated sigh.

Seven-forty-five, good god.

"Kendra!" she bellowed at one of the waitstaff. "How is your pick-up already cold?!" The pretty, blonde waitress Ben had dated for two months nearly dropped her stack of empty plates when she heard her name shouted. "Your section isn't any fuller than anyone else's!" Nell beckoned toward Ben's fellow line cook. "Letti, flash it in the salamander for me."

"Yes, Chef!" Letti shouted back.

Seven-forty-eight.

"Why is this lamb dying on the pass? We're losing the soigné!" Nell hollered to the waitstaff, who were too slammed at the moment to pick it up.

If she says swan-yay one more fucking time, I swear I will shove that lamb up her ass.

Ben wondered for the millionth time what the draw of this industry had been when he dedicated his life to it several years ago. He only felt he could take a breath again at about 9 p.m. as the service began to slow down, and then like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders when he saw his boss leave just before 10.

"Finally," he said, ripping off his apron and sinking beside Tyler in a booth that was decorated with half-empty liquor bottles. Without needing to ask, Tyler poured him a shot of rye. They waited before most of the staff had already left, with the exception of a couple of other guys on the line who were just about to grab their coats. Then Tyler took out a tiny glass vial from his pocket.

"Oh, thank god, I almost thought you didn't have any on you," Ben exhaled, by now on his third shot. It was a bit of an effort to steadily hold out his hand as his friend placed a dot of white powder on the back of it.

"What, me?" Tyler grinned, sipping his own scotch neat. "How could I not when this is the only stuff I have? We can't all be like you, bedding every waitress from here to Toronto." It was when Tyler's 'Toronto' came out like 'Trawnna' that Ben knew his buddy was at least buzzed. "But we can't all look like you, can we?"

"Dude, the last person I need to have come on to me right now is you. Actually, Nell, then you."

"I'm not kidding! You're what, 5'10"?"

"Stop it, man," Ben laughed.

"And you've got that hot Asian guy thing going on."

"I'm gonna tell your white ass this for the last time. We're not all 'Asian,'" Ben said, a little too high to really be annoyed with his friend. "You know there's billions of us in Asia, right? I'm Filipino."

"Right. Sorry. You know I'm just jealous of your stupid abs that look like you don't taste a damn thing you—" Just then, Tyler flinched and fished his vibrating phone out of his other pocket, squinting at it.

"Shit, it's Saturday," he said.

"Every bone in my body hurts and I'm only 28," Ben muttered. "Of course it's Saturday."

"No, I mean—you know how I grew up, right?" Tyler explained. "The lawyer who took me in from care? His daughter is pretty much my little sister and she's looking for work while finishing school at Carleton."

"I didn't know he had a daughter. She cute?"

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up," Tyler pronounced, albeit with a grin. "I know you've been with every waitress on staff and I don't wanna ask about the kitchen crew. But you don't go near Aki. I told her I'd show her around the restaurant after dinner's over, but here I am wasted with you."

"You say this like I was the one who brought out the coke."

"If you do your hot Filipino guy moves on her," Tyler stood up as Ben rolled his eyes, "I am never going to bring out the coke for you again. Lemme go check if I still have any on my face."

***********

Aki Senebah pulled her black sedan into a lot adjacent to Gladstone Avenue and looked around tentatively toward the alley leading back toward the main road. She knew this wasn't a rural township where she ran the risk of going missing or murdered like her Indigenous sisters—but she regretted not asking Tyler where the closest parking to the restaurant was. Especially since it was January in Ottawa and -14 Celsius tonight.

Go time, she thought, gripping her keys between her fisted fingers and touching the pepper spray in her purse before opening the car door. Her wispy, black hair was tucked under her toque, and her dangling feather earrings brushed against her winter coat. Her tight jeans and knee-high flat boots would make sprinting through that alley less stressful.

Partway through, however, Aki's breath stopped billowing out in front of her because it was caught in her throat.

"Hey," a man's voice called out. All she could see was his silhouette against the backdrop of streetlights glowing on the other side of the alley. "You know it's not safe in here, right?" Aki froze and her mouth ran dry as the man started toward her. It wasn't Tyler.

"Stay where you are!" she shouted, her heart pounding through her core. She wasn't tiny at 5'6" but that guy was clearly bigger than her.

"Relax, I'm just here to bring you in," the man said. Or did he slur it?

"Are you drunk?"

"Nah, it's not a big deal. I just have a bit to unwin—aarrggh!" A moment after Aki's pepper spray hit his eyes, she brought her knee up to his chest while he was doubled over. Then she ran like hell. Zipping out of the alley and instinctively turning left despite not knowing where the restaurant was, she raced up the street only to slam into her brother.

"Whoa, what the hell, Aki, what's going on?" Tyler asked, distraught to see her out of breath and shaking.

"It's okay, it's okay," she huffed. "He's back there in the alley."

"Someone attacked you?! Let me call the cops."

"Ty, I'm Native for chrissakes. The last thing we do is call the cops." Tyler almost smiled as he walked toward the alley she gestured at, making sure she didn't follow. Then he peered in and put his hands on his head.

"Ohhhh. Oh, shit."

Ten minutes later in the restaurant's posh men's room, Tyler was still apologising to Ben, holding out a towel while his friend splashed his eyes with cold water.

"This is my fault; if I were thinking straight I would have told one of you about the other before asking you to wait for her. She's got intergenerational trauma that you and I can't even imagine, especially as a woman," he tried. "She's had cousins go missing."

"I get all that, it's fine," Ben sputtered, molten lava burning through his eye sockets. "Maybe that's what I get for asking if she's cute." He took the towel from Tyler and buried his face in it. "Now that I'm blind, I'll never find out for myself."

He slumped back in the booth, craving a strong joint and a firm mattress right about then. But he still had some cleaning left to do and the next bus home wasn't coming for another half-hour. And fuck, I'm back here again in about another 12 hours.

His eyes still burned, but they also planted themselves on Aki's voluptuous thighs poured into her jeans as she followed Tyler around the dining room. Her feathery black hair swayed as she moved. She wasn't just cute; she was properly gorgeous. And she'd probably last a week as a server under Nell. He was sure he looked like shit so he dragged himself toward the kitchen before they came back around.

Ohhh, I hope I didn't damage his sight, Aki thought as she saw Ben lumber out of the dining room. Tyler hadn't even noticed she'd been stealing glances in his direction while he went on about one thing or another. It's not a sell, Ty, I already know I need this job. What I wish you'd tell me is whether your friend I almost killed is single.

"Hey, let me use the ladies' room," she said as she headed toward the back. She briefly checked to make sure Tyler wasn't watching, then pushed through the kitchen door. Ben was facing away from her and scrubbing down a steel counter, his shoulder muscles rippling with every movement.

"Umm, I'm really sorry for hurting you," Aki said, only to have him swivel around in surprise. She cringed at seeing his red eyes.

"Ahhh, no, it's fine. I should have opened by telling you Ty asked me to meet you outside," Ben sniffed, trying to inconspicuously brush his finger against his nose. I cannot have a conversation with you right now, he thought. I gotta get outta here.

"Can I make it up to you?" Aki asked. "Maybe take you out for a coffee if you're off work right now?" Ben resisted the urge to burst out laughing at the thought that he'd just snorted something several times stronger than coffee.

"No, it's totally alright," he said, not knowing whether he was failing at playing it cool. "I have work in the morning and my bus will be by in a few minutes. It was nice meeting you, though." He let a beat pass where he allowed himself to fall into Aki's dark amber eyes. "Sort of." A wide smile erupted on her face despite her best efforts to hold it back, and Ben all but melted.

"I'll see you next week, then," she said softly, before leaving him standing alone in the kitchen, not knowing whether he'd made a huge mistake.

It was an easier transition than most servers were able to make, since Nell favoured Tyler and therefore gave Aki a good week to just watch the dinner crunch and shadow other waitstaff. Ben hoped Aki knew the boss wouldn't go easier on her, however, once she was actually working the floor.

Her first week was a bit of a clunkier start than he'd wanted, but Ben was both relieved and envious to find he'd been wrong. Aki seemed to be one of the few people Nell had taken a liking to.

"Sailed through our first month, have we?" Nell smiled at Aki just as the Thursday night service was hitting a lull several weeks later. "Do you have enough work?"

"Just doing my best, Chef," Aki replied with her eyes cast downward at the tray she was about to pick up from the pass. "And I have an open six-top in my section."

"I know. I'm expecting a group any moment now. This is the group I talked to you about earlier."

"Oh," Aki raised her eyebrows. "This is the table you want me to wax?" Nell nodded.

"It is really important to me that you spend any extra time tending to them without being overbearing. Let me know when they're about done and I'll come by."

Nell ended up not only speaking to her friends at their table, but following them outside for a cigarette after their meal.

"Okay, what gives?" Ben finally worked up the courage to ask when the dinner push was sufficiently slow and his boss was safely out of earshot. It wasn't so much courage, but a burning question as to how Aki had managed to crack Nell's crotchety demeanour. Aki looked at him with all the innocence of a lamb, but a smile played on the corner of her lips.

"How does that liter of curdled milk actually like you?" Ben pressed, willing himself to not fall apart again at Aki's full-on grin.

"You don't see it?" she asked with a note of sympathy in her voice. Ben didn't understand how he was unable to talk to this woman like he did with every other woman. It wasn't helpful that she went up on her tiptoes to answer him, her breath warm on his earlobe.

"Nell has a crush on me," Aki said plainly, putting down her tray of glasses on the counter. The range of emotions that flickered across Ben's face, all within a span of moments, made her erupt in laughter. "Don't hurt yourself doing the math." She gently touched his arm.

"Well, that... certainly makes a lot of sense," he nodded. "I'm sure a lot of people have a crush on you that you don't even know about."

"Ben, grab some cheese from the low boy for me?" Letti called to him from her spot on the line.

"'Scuse me," Ben told a speechless Aki as he picked up her tray with one hand and the cheese with the other hand. "Behind!" he shouted to the line cooks to avoid a collision.

"Speaking of behind, that's about as nice as a guy's ass can get, isn't it?" Kendra sidled up to Aki, whose eyes had glazed over. "Are you two a thing yet?"

"What? No!" Aki shook her head. "I—neither of us have time for that. I'm doing my MBA and he works, what, 11 hours a day, 6 days a week?"

"Well," Kendra shrugged, "it never stopped him before." Aki shot her a quizzical look and Kendra returned it with a shy smile. "I mean, I don't know any female server here who hasn't at least spent a night with Ben. Oh, except for Maryanne, who's gay, and Preeti, who's married. But the rest of us, yeah."

"Just because the push is over doesn't mean you get to stand in a corner and check out Cardoso, Kendra," Preeti said as she came through the kitchen doors with a stack of dishes. "Just kidding. Let me drop these off and I'll check him out with you."

"Wait'll I tell Alok, you ho," Kendra laughed, not noticing that Aki was just about to fall over. Had Ben really slept with all these women working the dining room right now? What about the women in the kitchen? She was in the unenviable position of not wanting to know, but also badly wanting to know. Preeti returned, wiping her hands on her apron.

"So what did I miss?" she lightly asked. "Did he lift a stack of pots or something?" Kendra chuckled to herself. "Did he shout 'behind' again?" Preeti pressed. "I keep telling him what he should really shout is, 'hot stuff coming through.'" Kendra laughed harder.

"What?" Preeti went on. "I will always love Alok but I at least get to look whereas the rest of you have all touched." Then she saw the unease on Aki's face.

"We're just messing around, Aki," she reassured her. "Ben is such a decent guy. He's nothing but a gentleman and he works hard. Yes, he's dated everyone here, but not one girl has hard feelings toward him, which is not easy to pull off.

"He's also single and best friends with Tyler. I can't think of a safer bet if you like him." She paused and looked Kendra square in the eye with a grin. "It's not his fault he's surrounded by slutty waitresses."

"That was actually my Halloween costume last year," Kendra returned her friend's grin. "And with any luck, it'll be my costume this year too."

"Like you need luck with those shelf boobs," Preeti retorted before turning back to Aki. "Look, he's starting to clean up. Ask him if he's free right now." After her friends made their way back to the dining room, Aki took a deep breath as she waited for the kitchen to empty out a bit, then finally approached Ben.

"Hey," she said, slightly alarmed when he looked surprised to see her again. He's as jumpy as a ferret, she thought. "I know you have to be back here tomorrow afternoon, but I'm going to try again. Would you like to join me for a coffee as soon as you're off?"

Oh, I was hoping she wouldn't say that, Ben rued, thinking about Tyler's warning to stay away. On the one hand, he really wanted to learn more about Aki since his friend had never even mentioned her. On that other hand—well, on his own hand in about an hour—would be a sufficient amount of blow to get him through another day.

"Sure," he said, knowing his reply wasn't coming out as enthusiastically as he'd wanted. "Just give me a minute." He told Tyler with as little detail as possible he wouldn't be joining him in their regular booth, then turned tail before he could be questioned as to why.

Just keep walking, he told himself as he reached for his jacket and tried not to second-guess his choice between coke and spending some time with a beautiful woman. Then he had an idea and hung his jacket back up.

"Ty," he called out. "On second thought, can I meet you at your place in maybe an hour or two? What if we hung out there tonight?" Ty wordlessly moved his eyeballs toward Aki who was talking to the hostess by the door, and then back to Ben. "Okay, I know, I know you told me to stay away from her—"

"No, hold on," Tyler interjected. "I told you not to make her one of your conquests. If you can tell me you asked her out because you like her as a person, I'd go broke on that wedding." Ben gave a short laugh.

"Actually, she asked me out—twice. The second time was just now. If I turn her down again, there's not going to be a third time. And yes, she's sweet and smart, and I want to know her better but I'm afraid of you." This time, Tyler laughed.

"I get it. Meet me at my place at 11." He dropped his voice as he handed Ben his keys to lock up. "Full disclosure—I will probably be high as fuck by 11:10 whether you show up or not."