You Can't Go Home Again

She moved in and kissed me again, then she slid a hand between my legs. "Oh, you're nice and hard." She pulled my gym shorts and underwear down and took me into her mouth. I moaned out loud. This was the first physical contact I had had since Joel, and it felt so damned good.

She didn't stay on me for long, though. She raised her skirt and pulled her panties aside, then she softly impaled herself onto me. We both moaned this time. She went up and down four or five times, then she came. "Oh, God! I'm almost there," I warned her.

"I'm on the pill," she said.

I came immediately after that.

She fell down and began to kiss me. "Not exactly what I had imagined for our first time."

"It was wonderful," I told her. "Next time, it'll be even better." We held each other a little while longer, then we got back to our studies.

By mid-semester, Amanda and I were having sex on a regular basis, meaning anywhere from four to six times a week. We were deeply in love with each other, and I had already decided that I was going to marry her.

Mr. Wellington, who had begun to insist that I call him Carl, invited me to his ad agency one particular day. Upon my arrival, I was escorted into a conference room where a meeting was already in progress. Carl looked up at me and smiled. "Come in, Will. Come in." He introduced me to everyone, referring to me as "the future of this business." He then turned to a striking redhead and said, "Lesleigh, it doesn't matter which one you choose, just give me one product that your team has been stumped on these past few days."

Lesleigh spread out four folders, then reached for one, but some guy with a seventies pornstache said, "No, give him this one instead," as he tapped another. Lesleigh took it and passed it to Carl, who in turn passed it to me.

"Lamborghini?" I asked. "They usually do just magazine ads."

"They want to try a different approach," Pornstache said. "Aggressive TV spots." He snickered. "Okay, Das Wunderkind, let's see what you got."

I didn't even open the file. I just stared at the name. Lamborghini.

"Take your time, Will," Carl said to me.

"No need," I said. "I've got it. There's a woman standing on a long stretch of highway wearing a white, billowy dress. We hear the low rumble of a car—the Lamborghini—approaching fast. When it reaches her, go to slow-motion. The guy smiles, waves ... he's wearing brown leather driving gloves; then resume normal speed. The woman turns to see it speed away from her. The woman is Liv Tyler. She very seductively whispers, 'Live it.' End of commercial."

Everyone but Pornstache applauded. Carl jumped up, grabbed my face, and very forcibly kissed me on the cheek. "That's what I'm talking about, people. That right there. Will is the one who got us the Reebok account, and he may have very well just secured us the Lamborghini account as well. 'Lamborghini: Live it!' Hot damn, I like it. Oh, and a warning to everyone here: he has three years of college remaining, then he'll be sitting at this table. Don't let the spot he takes be yours. Now go on and hammer out something with the rest of those."

"Why not just let your boy handle them?" Pornstache asked. "Make a light day of work for us all, eh, Carl?"

"See," Carl said as he addressed the room, "this is why the very first spot Will takes could be yours, Joey, because you'd rather not put forth the effort." With that, he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and guided me to his office. "Steaks tonight at Pandora's. My treat, and don't say no because it's non-negotiable."

I laughed. "What time?

"Be at the house at six."

Over dinner, Carl told Lois and Amanda about my idea. Both were proud of me. Amanda kissed me in front of her parents. It was the first time she had ever done that. "That's right," Carl said to her. "You hold onto that one, Amanda. He's worth keeping."

I had gotten Amanda into jogging with me. I know she loved it, but I think she loved the sweaty sex we'd have afterwards, her period permitting.

We finished first semester by making the Dean's list. Overall, her grades were better than mine, but I still finished with all A's.

Amanda and I were approaching our anniversary from when we met. I had bought her a gold locket and chain while she surprised me with a pretty awesome gift. I unwrapped it, looked at her, and said, "Really?" as I held up CGC-graded 9.9 copies of Tomb of Dracula #44 and Dr. Strange #14, the two books that first brought us together.

"They're as perfect as my love is for you," she said.

"Your love for me is a 9.9?" I asked jokingly.

"Well, you do whistle through your nose when you sleep."

"I'm not sleeping now."

She removed her blouse, then her bra, then her jeans and panties. I quickly jumped out of my clothes, then lay back on the couch. She crawled atop me and we began to kiss. I palmed her perfect ass as I massaged one of her breasts even as she massaged my cock. I rolled and stood with her in my arms, then carried her to my room. My intention was to place her on my bed, but at the last second I turned her upside down and we did a standing sixty-nine. She loved this because it allowed for me to move from her pussy to her ass at my leisure, and I did so quite frequently. She also liked that it was more difficult for me to cum in a standing position, which meant she could suck me almost limitlessly.

I eventually turned her back upright, and as she slid onto my cock, she locked her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. I fucked her at every speed I could, and again, it favored she, who was multi-orgasmic to begin with, because I could go a good ninety minutes to two hours while standing before I got my nut. Laying down? Doggie style? From the side? Ten, fifteen minutes tops. But standing? It was a blessing and a curse.

Fall of sophomore year I received a call from Carl while I was en route to a class. "Can you come by when class is over? I have someone I'd like you to meet."

"Who?" I asked.

"Milton Reeves, the president of Necco. You familiar with them?"

"Yeah," I said. "They make the Clark Bar."

"Well, he's looking for a new agency and I want you to handle this one personally."

"Wow. Thank you, Carl. Tell you what: I'll be right over." I heard him begin to protest, but I hung up on him anyway. I ran into Amanda and said, "Your father asked to see me about a potential client. Tell Mr. Davi that I'll try to make it back before class is over."

"We're reviewing for the test today, Will."

"Okay, then I'll just review with you this evening." I kissed her. "Bye." Then I was gone.

I arrived at the ad agency and went straight to Carl's office where he introduced me to Mr. Reeves. "Carl, here, tells me you're some kind of Rain Man when it comes to advertising. Tell me, Will, what is your favorite candy bar?"

"Reese's Fast Break," I told him.

Mr. Reeves laughed, then reached into his brief case and pulled a Fast Break out. "Imagine that. I work for Necco and I eat the competition's product." He pulled a small knife from his pocket and cut the candy bar in two, then he passed one half of it to me. "Are you familiar with what Necco sells, Will?"

"Yes, sir. Clark Bars are my second favorite," I said, then I bit a chunk from the Fast Break.

"So how do we get people to choose Clark Bars over these, or any other candy bars?" he asked.

"I used to manage a convenience store, Mr. Reeves, so I had to employ a bit of marketing on a daily basis. When it came to Clark Bars, I'd simply say, 'It's like a Butterfinger, only better.'"

I could almost hear the words bouncing around his skull like a pinball. Finally, he repeated, "It's like a Butterfinger, only better.' I like it!" He turned to Carl and extended his hand. "You've got my account, Carl, and any future business I bring, I want this young man at the forefront of it."

"Let me walk him out and then we'll talk some more," Carl said to Mr. Reeves. He escorted me into the lobby. "Thanks, Will. That was sheer genius."

"Sometimes something so simple can be the next big thing," I replied.

"I was going to save this for tonight, but here," Carl said as he pulled a check out of his shirt pocket. When I did not immediately open it, he said, "Go ahead. Take a look." He had been paying me three hundred dollars a week to handle local advertising campaigns. I figured he must have given me a raise of twenty-five dollars or something, which is why I was blown away when I saw that the check was for $175,000.00.

"Carl ... What?"

"A full year's royalties on the Reebok campaign," he told me. "You earned that, Will. Deposit it and use it toward a house when you marry my daughter."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

Another school year behind us and another anniversary fast approaching. "Why don't we go somewhere?" I asked.

"Like where, Orlando?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of Jamaica," I responded.

"That sounds nice," Amanda said, so we set out to secure our passports. The week we spent was magical. We met a local couple who showed us around. They were nice and didn't make their presence a nuisance. They didn't try to sell us anything or get us high. They were just a good, nice couple who had been married for all of six months and loved life and each other. "I want us to be like that," Amanda said when we returned to our room.

"I thought we were."

"Well, we're not married yet," she pointed out.

"About that," I began.

"Oh, my God! Did you bring me here to propose? Because that would be the most awesomely romantic thing ever!"

"Jeez, now I wish I had," I said, feeling like a complete doofus. She was right about one thing, though: This trip wasn't just about a vacation. I had an ulterior motive all along. "Have a seat, baby. There's something I need to tell you."

She sat next to me. "What, Will?"

"I'm just letting you know that I'm going to ask you to marry me real soon, and when I do, I want you to say yes, but before I can even ask you, there's something you need to know. That first night we met? I told you the story about the Marvel Team-Ups and how I had to perform oral sex to get them. You just assumed I was talking about a woman, and I allowed you to think that, but the truth of it is that it was a guy."

"Go on."

I did. I told her everything, finishing with, "We expressed our love for each other, and the next day he was gone. To this day I still haven't heard from him."

She studied me for long, quiet seconds, then asked, "Was this exclusive just to your friend, or do you still harbor homosexual feelings?"

"Whatever I had was exclusively for him, Amanda. I have no desire to be with any other man."

"You know, you could have not said anything to me, thus not jeopardizing what we have."

"I love you with all my heart, Amanda. I would much rather risk losing you by telling you the truth than to lose you to a lie."

She smiled, then took my hands into hers. "You're not going to lose me, Will, and thank you for trusting me with this." She leaned in and kissed me. I lay back and removed my clothing as she did the same. She was back on top of me and we made love.

With Carl and Lois's blessing, I did ask Amanda to marry me, and she said yes. She asked if I had given any thought to when. "I was figuring after graduation. That's still two years away. I think we need that kind of time to make sure our priorities are straight."

As our Junior year began, I was presented with a check from Carl for $200,000.00 for my idea about Lamborghini, then a few weeks later $35,000.00 for my idea with Clark Bars, all of which went into a savings account for the house I would buy for Amanda.

After Spring Semester began, Carl asked me to sit in on another meeting. I was seated next to Joey, who was behind me as we looked to Carl. As Carl spoke, I felt something zip past my ear. A few seconds later, I heard it. I looked to Lesleigh who cut her eyes toward Joey. I nodded. I surmised that he had been thumping the air close to my ear, and I was right as I caught him. He smiled and held up his hands like he was innocent. I turned back toward Carl, felt it again, then drove my elbow backward straight into Joey's face. "Ow, you God-damned son of a bitch! You broke my fucking nose."

I was already standing. "Teach you to keep your hands to yourself."

"Carl, he broke my nose. Are you going to let him get away with this?"

"It was Joey, Carl," Lesleigh said. "He had been antagonizing Will ever since he sat down."

"You know, I'm tired of your lackluster performance and jealousy, Joey. Clean your desk out. You're fired."

Carl called security to escort Joey to his desk, then out the door. He then said, "Okay, back to this. Like I was saying, Coke wants to push its product hard during the next Olympics, most notably, their 'Zero' products. I—Yes, Will?"

"Okay, imagine a downhill ski race. You have Coke Zero lined up against competitor's products, like Pepsi, RC, Diet Rite, and any others you wish to put in. The race begins, we see one fall flat, suggesting the product is flat as opposed to Coke Zero's more robust taste, another competitor wipes out end over end, another veers off into the trees ... you get the idea. Etcetera-etcetera, then we see Coke Zero cross the finish line. Voice-over says, 'In the race for taste, Zero is first.' I would also suggest using stop-motion as opposed to CGI. It's like comfort food in that sometimes mac and cheese makes us feel better than a sixteen ounce Porterhouse can. I think the throwback to stop motion would strike a familiar chord with the viewers."

"And that's why you're going to be a partner here one day," Carl said. "Damn, I've never met anyone who could come up with such great ideas on the spot like you do, Will." He then addressed everyone else present. "Okay, we have our angle, and remember: We can apply Will's idea to any Olympic event, like the slalom, or even anything in the Summer Games. Now let's get to it."

I remained behind and talked with Carl a bit, then made to leave. Lesleigh accompanied me and directed me into the break room. "You are so amazing at what you do," she said to me. "I feel I could learn a lot from you, Will, and I feel I could teach you a lot as well." She dragged her fingernails across the back of my hand. I knew what she was getting at.

"You are so incredibly beautiful," I said to her, "but I'm in love with Carl's daughter."

"Amanda?"

"We're engaged. If it weren't for that, I'd be following you around like a lost puppy, Lesleigh."

"Well, my offer stands if you ever decide differently." She then fixed herself a cup of coffee and returned to her work station.

I'm just going to fast-forward through the rest of it. Amanda and I continued in our studies and we both graduated, she as Summa cum laude and I at Magna cum laude. Two weeks later we were married. I allowed her to pick out her dream home and she chose one just a few blocks from where her parents lived, which was fine with me. We wanted to start a family very quickly, and she was pregnant in no time. Once we returned from our honeymoon, we accepted full-time positions at Carl's ad agency where we worked until her delivery date, and later that day she gave birth to our daughter Samantha. Life was good. I had never been happier in all my life.

A few years later I was on my way home from work when I stopped by a gas station to fill up. Amanda was at home preparing for the delivery of our second child. A mini-van pulled in right next to me and this tanned, muscular man got out and began filling his vehicle as well. He looked at me, spoke, then eyed me suspiciously. "Will?"

"Yeah?" I answered.

"It's me," he said with a huge smile on his face. I lightly shook my head and raised my shoulders in silently telling him I had no clue. "Aw, come on, man. Really? It's me. Joel."

Tears immediately filled my eyes and burned down my cheeks as he rushed over and hugged me hard and deep. "I've missed you so much, man. I never stopped thinking about you."

"Uh ... Me ... Me, too," I lied. The fact of the matter was that I hadn't thought about him in years, so good had life been to me. My reason for crying, though ... This wasn't Joel. I had changed, I knew that much. My jogging and Yoga with Amanda had toned me, and I had let my hair grow out, but I was still basically the same guy. This person calling himself Joel? Like I said earlier, he was really muscular where Joel used to be a bit pudgy, he wore a buzz cut where Joel had long hair ... he just seemed physically intimidating where the Joel of old was not.

"How have you been?" he asked as he gave me a light punch on the arm.

"I've got your stash," I told him.

"Oh, God! Really? That's fantastic! Dad said he gave them to some kid. I'm glad it was you." He touched my hand. I withdrew it immediately. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"

"No, no. It's just that I'm married now, and ..."

"Yeah, me too. I have three kids. You?" The auto-shut-off valve clicked on my pump. "Look, I really need to go. Give me your number and I'll call you."

I picked up Amanda and Samantha and we went to Pizza Hut for dinner. Amanda was talking about changes she wanted to make to the nursery. I absently answered, "That's fine, baby." She continued, but I was only half listening. "Uh-huh. Sounds good." She continued to talk, but all I could really hear at this point was those "Wou-Wou-Wuu-Wou" noises that the adults on Charlie Brown cartoons make when they speak. My mind was on Joel, and I was trying to sort out why I felt disdain toward him.

"So, I'm having an incestuous relationship with both my parents."

"Mmm-hmmm."

"In fact, Daddy is the father of this child I'm carrying, not you."

"That's nice, sweetie."

"We're going to name him Dung Beetle Poopy-Juice."

"That's great, babe." It wasn't until Amanda pinched me hard enough to make me scream out that I finally gave her my undivided attention. "Hey, what gives?"

"I was about to ask you the same question," she said. "You haven't been right since you picked us up. What's wrong?"

I took a deep breath, then said, "I ran into Joel today."

"Joel?" she asked, then, "Oh, Joel, as in THE Joel."

"Yeah."

"What happened?"

I explained it to her, all except for the part where I cried and when he touched me. "He gave me his number. I told him that I'd call."

"Are you?"

"I may have a beer with him, try and set up a time for when he can pick up his comics."

"Will, is there anything else to this?" she asked. "Are your feelings for him resurfacing?"

I took her hands into mine. "No, Amanda. It's nothing like that. It's just that somewhere along the way I forgot about him."

"It was bound to happen, Will. I mean, he hasn't been a part of your life for so long now. I suspect that what you're dealing with right now may be the guilt of forgetting him, but perhaps some of those old feelings have resurfaced after all."

"I can't answer one way or the other about that. If you would prefer that I invite him over instead of meeting him at a bar or whatever, I'd understand."

"I'm not afraid of losing you to him, Will. I know you love us too much."

"I do, Amanda."

"In that case, you have my permission to have one last hurrah with him if the opportunity should present itself."

"Thanks, but I'm not interested."

"Okay, but it's there if you change your mind."

We returned home, I got my shower while Amanda put Samantha down for the night, and when I exited our bathroom, she held my phone out to me. "Go ahead, Will. Call him." I stepped onto the back porch and called. We spoke for just a few minutes, then we ended the call. As I returned to the room, "How did it go?"