You Can't Go Home Again

"He wants me to meet him at his grandmother's house tomorrow at noon. He said we'd have a couple of beers and catch up."

"That sounds nice. Now, why don't you come to bed?"

"Actually, I'm going to watch a little TV," I said as I kissed her cheek. I then went into the living room and turned it on, but much like earlier at Pizza Hut, I really was not there at all.

I had gotten directions from Joel last night, so finding his grandma's house was easy enough. I arrived, he greeted me at the door, he moved in to hug me, but I held up my hands. He seemed disappointed, but he was still amiable. "Where's your grandmother?" I asked as I crossed the threshold. "You mentioned something about a wife and kids also."

"They went out for lunch and a movie," he answered as he ushered me to the sofa, "which gives us about four hours to talk. Be right back." He disappeared for half a minute, then returned carrying two Michelob Lights. He handed me one, then took a seat about three feet from me.

I said nothing for thirty seconds, then, "You've changed so much. You're nothing like the Joel I used to know."

"Actually, I go by Stephen now. That's my first name." He shrugged. "Yeah, I've changed, but it's all been for the better, Will. I hated my dad so much for forcing me to join the Marines, but I needed it. It has made me the man I am today."

"You never called me, Joel. You never wrote."

"I couldn't remember your phone number or your address," he told me. "Dad gave my phone back to me after AIT—that stands for Advanced Infantry Training—but when I called, some Hispanic woman answered. I called the convenience store and they told me you had quit. I called Grandma and she said you never came around asking for me ... When I first got back into town I went by your old place, but there were new tenants there. I searched for you, Will. Maybe not immediately, because I wasn't immediately able to do so, but I did search for you when the opportunity presented itself."

"Three kids, huh?"

"Yeah. They're my life, along with Allison, my wife. You?"

"A three-year old girl and another due in a few weeks. We decided to not know the gender until Amanda gives birth, but we're hoping for a boy."

"Cool."

"So, are you back here now?"

"No. Just visiting. I'm still in the Corps. I'm stationed in San Diego."

"When do you leave?"

"Sunday. We drove. Thought it would be nice to see the country." He laughed. "Wish I'd have thought about the three kids in tow."

I checked the time. Barely twenty minutes had ticked by. I looked at Joel. He smirked, then said, "Like I told you, we have four hours." He then pulled his pants down and his cock bobbed to life. I looked at it, yet it seemed alien to me. I honestly couldn't remember one thing about it.

He reached out and took my hand and placed it on his completely rigid dick. I lightly squeezed, and all the familiarity associated with it came rushing back to me. My breathing was labored, as was his. "Oh, Joel," I whispered as I lowered my mouth onto it. He moaned loudly as I took him deep into my throat. Its warmth, its firmness ... It was like I was transported to six years ago when sucking his cock was the norm for me. Then, in the thirty seconds I had spent on it, he announced he was going to cum. I moved to the head and sucked it while pumping his shaft slow and hard. He grunted several times, then seemed to melt into his spot on the sofa.

"Oh, shit. That was everything I remembered it being, Will." I said nothing. I slid back and allowed him to remove my pants and underwear, then he took me into his mouth. It felt good, but it wasn't Amanda. Twenty minutes passed, then he looked up and asked, "Is everything okay?"

"Sorry. Amanda and I had sex twice this morning," I lied. "I Guess you're just going to have to work for it."

"Lucky for me, I remember what you always liked," he said as he positioned himself so we were in a sixty-nine. Fifteen minutes later and he came again. Another five and I did as well.

We dressed, then I guzzled down the remainder of my beer. I was just about to tell Joel that this was a one-off, for old time's sake, when he said to me, "You know we can never do this again, right? I mean, as much as we may like it, it just wouldn't work, Will. Time ... Distance ..."

"I know."

"I'll rent a small U-Haul later on and come by for those comics tomorrow, if that's okay."

"Yeah. I'll text you my address."

He walked me to the door. "It was really good seeing you again."

I looked at him, and every memory I had of our past came flooding into me. I moved forward and kissed him. He kissed me back. We stood there for five full minutes doing just that, then I whispered, "Take me to your bedroom." Joel took my hand and did so. We stripped and got onto his bed, then I went down on him again, and afterwards he did the same to me.

As we lay there, he said, "Remember that night you told me you loved me?"

"It was the last time I ever saw you."

"I tried to tell you the same that night, Will, and I couldn't. That has always been my biggest regret. I did love you, though, and a part of me always will."

"Me, too," I said.

We kissed a few more minutes, then we got dressed. He walked me to the door again, and this time I left. I returned home at two-thirty. "Hi."

"Hi," Amanda called from the sofa as she folded towels and wash cloths.

"Samantha asleep?"

"She's next door playing with Isabel." Silence. "Did you have a good visit?"

"Yes," I answered as I sat next to her and helped with the folding.

"Did you have sex?"

"Yes."

More silence, then, "I love you, Will."

"You will never know how thankful I am that you do."

"Is it over now? I mean, really over?"

"Yes. As you put it last night, this was a last hurrah. Joel will be by tomorrow to pick up his comics. Two good for you?"

"Yes. Do you want to invite his family for dinner?"

"No. Those comics are our last order of business," I informed her. "We agreed today that that was for the best."

After he picked up his comics, Joel and I simultaneously erased the other's contact information from our phones. This was truly it, a clean break. The last time we would ever see one another, but not the last time I would hear from him. Approximately a month later, after Amanda had given birth to Sebastian Alexander Saddler, our newborn received a package via FedEx. I opened it to find the Batman #1 and a note which read, For your son, as much as for you. Joel. There was no return address.