You Look Good in my Shirt...

I heard the Keith Urban song YOU LOOK GOOD IN MY SHIRT one day, and then a few days later I happened to find a picture of my college girlfriend from decades ago wearing one of my shirts looking oh, so sexy. I even texted it to her, asking if she remembered this? She texted back asking who is that slut? Anyway, it got me thinking. Also, having experienced some of what happens in this story, I felt I could write about it somewhat credibly.

Forgive any errors, they're all mine.

I had just graduated from college and was home visiting my folks prior to starting my new job as an analyst at Deloitte. I was free until mid-August, and was using those three months to blow off some steam, have fun, and just catch up with people back home. At the time I had an old Celica liftback and was just out driving around. To this day I have no idea why I turned down Colonial and hung a right on Thames St. That's when I looked over and saw Lisa Givens talking with her next-door neighbor Melanie Baskins. I had actually dated Melanie a few times years ago when we were both juniors in high school. Lisa was a year younger, but was always around. When you grow up in a small town, and there's only 250 in your graduating class, you tend to know most everyone.

Anyway, for some reason I turned around and pulled over in front of Lisa's parent's house, and hopped out. Yeah, me, Michael (Mike) Snowden is not one to pass up cute chicks!

"Hey, long time, no see" I said as I walked over to the porch they were sitting on. "What's new in town?"

"Melanie came over to tell me she got a job as a nurse at Memorial Hospital! Lisa said proudly. "She just graduated and passed her boards."

"Yeah, I'll be working night shift for a while, but at least I'll be in the nursery with babies." Melanie looked excited. "What's up with you?"

"I'm chilling for a few months before I officially join the adult world, and start working my way to the top." I tried to subtly check out Lisa. Melanie was cute, but I wasn't interested in her. Lisa, on the other hand had lost the baby fat and was looking sexy.

Lisa chuckled. "I, at least, have another year to go before I must become a grown-up! And I intend to enjoy this last year of college." She was going to State U. which was just a few miles around the beltway from where I'd be working.

"Say, there's a good band playing at the Horseshoe tonight, you ladies feel like going out dancing?"

Lisa said. "Sure," and looked at Mel. "I'm game, we didn't have anything else going on."

Melanie shrugged and said, "Why not? Pick us up at 8?"

That night we had a great time. They both were dressed to kill and loved to boogie. I'm not much of a dancer, but when in Rome... I danced with both of them, separately, and at times together.

Even a few slow songs. The funny thing was that I didn't feel anything romantic towards Melanie, probably because we had dated in H.S. and it wasn't serious. Lisa, she was cute, and had a nice ass and legs, but didn't seem like she was really enjoying herself.

Finally, about 1am things were slowing down, we headed home, and being the gentleman that I am, I pulled into Mel's parent's driveway to let her out first.

"'Night guys, thanks for a great evening. Michael, call me sometime!"

"Sure, was fun. Catch you later." I spoke.

Lisa was sitting there quietly. I pulled out of the driveway, drove down the street 50 yards, turned into Lisa's parent's driveway, and stopped. She sat there and didn't get out.

Finally, she turned to me and said, "I had a really good time tonight. Do you want to come in for a while? I'm sure my folks are already in bed."

While I'm not the brightest guy, and sometimes a bit oblivious, it seemed she wanted to continue the evening with just me. Heck, why not. More than once I had noticed that she had a pretty nicely shaped tush.

"Sure." I figured, why not?

Of course, I finally rolled home into the folk's house about 4am after spending most of the evening making out with Lisa. And yes, that's all we did. I did ask her out for the next day (really the day after by now) and she was quick to accept. I figured we'd go catch an Orioles day game.

So, we're driving down to Baltimore, and she says, "I had a really good time the other night, even though Melanie was along. I think I would have had a better time with just you though."

Wow, that was what I had been thinking too. "Well, to tell you the truth, I felt the same way. And if you hadn't asked me in the other night, I was still planning to ask you out."

And that was the start of our romance.

We spent countless days together that summer. We went to the movies, partied with friends, went rafting on the river, and had picnics with our families. Lisa's family was immediately on board with our romance. As I had dated Melanie next door when I was in high school, they already knew of me. Since Mel's parents liked me, and I had the "parent stamp of approval". I was at their house for dinner more than at my own parent's house. Her dad was Bill, and her mom Josie.

"You know I think Melanie is disappointed that she didn't get another crack at you now that we've been going out." Lisa said one night about three weeks after we started dating.

"Well, she doesn't have a chance, because I've already fallen in love with you." There, I said it, holding my breath.

Lisa's eyes watered and she hugged me tight. "Oh, thank God. I was really scared of what I was feeling, and was afraid this was just a summer fling for you. I love you so much."

About a week later, we were at my parent's house planning on swimming in the pool. My folks had gone to hear the Symphony with my dad's parents who lived in Baltimore. Gram and Gramps were in their 70's and very active.

While we were in that giddy, newly in love stage, we both were still a little tentative about taking things to the physical level. I didn't want to push things. This was a serious relationship, not a casual convenience.

"You can go into the guest room to change." I told her.

Lisa stood there for a moment looking at me, and in her best Lauren Bacall voice said, "Why don't we forget the pool for now." She turned, and walked into the guest room, peeling off her T-shirt as she went.

I knew she had lost her virginity during her second year at college to a boyfriend, and I had been with more than a couple of women myself, but that afternoon was like nothing before.

We kissed, we sucked, we caressed, we made love, and then we fucked. Repeatedly.

"This is a safe time of the month for me, but next time we have to use protection until I can get on the pill." She told me as we laid there afterwards.

"You know, I had a huge crush on you years ago when you were dating Melanie." Lisa's finger was tracing circles on my chest as we lay there in bed.

"And of course, I was totally oblivious. Fortunately, I was a little more aware when I stopped by your parent's house a few weeks ago." I smiled as I squeezed her tightly against my body.

By the time August rolled around, I think everyone in both our families could see that we were madly in love.

My mother looked at me one day as I was getting ready to move into the apartment I had rented in anticipation of starting work.

"Michael, you look happier than anytime I can remember, and I know it has to do with Lisa. I'm glad you found her."

"Yeah, I feel happier. I'm pretty sure she's 'the one'."

"I think so too." My mom said. "You dated some nice girls, and I liked most of them, but I'm very impressed with Lisa. I think you make a great couple."

Lisa went back to school to finish her marketing degree, and we continued our romance. My job with Deloitte was nearby her apartment that she shared with Sharon and Karen, identical twins. I had an apartment about 20 minutes away in a complex that was home to a more professional crowd as opposed to university students.

We didn't flaunt it to her folks, but Lisa was spending more time at my apartment than her own.

That fall semester she was busy with classes, but we still found time to go to the college football games, and make time to have some fun on the weekends. By Halloween I was thinking about proposing; I had never felt like this with any of my previous girlfriends.

Work at Deloitte was challenging, but interesting. I quickly fit in with the rest of the people in my division and felt like I was going places.

By Thanksgiving I had decided I was going to propose to Lisa at Christmas. We had already talked about the future, and had almost identical viewpoints about marriage, and what we wanted in the way of family.

I had talked to my mom and told her what I was thinking, and asked if she had a recommendation for a jewelry store.

"Where did Dad get your engagement ring and the other baubles you have?"

"Well, my engagement ring was actually his grandmother's. And if you're serious about asking Lisa to marry you, then I think you should have my grandmother's ring. I was the only granddaughter in the family, so when Gram passed a few years ago, I inherited her ring.

"Oh Mom, it's beautiful. Are you sure?" I was stunned.

"Michael, it's clear that you and Lisa have a connection, and if you want to marry her, then this is the right thing to do." Mom's eyes sparkled as she looked at me. "I just can't believe you're so... all grown up."

Christmas came a few weeks later. She had finished her exams by the 20^th, and I had a long weekend, so we were both home at our parent's houses. Her folks had a big dinner on Christmas Eve, and then we all went to the early service at church.

Later that night, Lisa and I exchanged gifts. She's gotten me a new leather wallet and a boxed set of Led Zeppelin (Remastered), as well as a book that had just hit number one on the NYT bestseller list.

I had bought her a pair of herbal slippers (don't ask, she wanted them) a veggie steamer for her apartment, and a pair of flannel pajamas. And another box that I saved for last.

We were alone in her parent's family room with a fire in the fireplace. They had gone to bed earlier, and I handed her the box with my great grandmother's ring in it.

She looked at me a little curiously, and then slowly unwrapped the box. When she opened it and saw the ring, she gasped.

"Oh! Michael. YES. YES. Yes!" And tackled me, knocking me to the floor with her on top.

"So, you'll go steady with me, and not date anyone else?" I tried to keep a straight face, but couldn't.

"You jerk, you're not getting off that easy! I love it!" She was gushing.

"MOM! DAD!" She sat there staring at the ring, and then at me, all the while calling her folks.

They of course came out to see what the fuss was about. Josie promptly started crying and hugging her. Bill just had a subtle smile on his face and didn't really react. May have had something to do with the conversation he and I had a few weeks earlier.

Josie turned, and looked at us two guys standing there and froze. "YOU KNEW!" she yelled at Bill.

He just smirked and shrugged his shoulders. Yes, guys can keep a secret.

Of course, we had to have two Christmas dinners; one at each of our parent's houses.

My folks were excited and my two younger sisters were ecstatic when Lisa asked them to be bridesmaids.

Lisa and her mom quickly got started on wedding plans for June after she graduated in May.

I had asked my best friend from high school, Greg to be my best man, and my dad and Lisa's brothers were to be my ushers.

The wedding was fantastic, and everything went smoothly and perfectly. Lisa was stunning in her mom's wedding dress they had slightly altered to make it a little more modern.

For our honeymoon we decided to do something a little different. We went to Iceland and did the Ring Road. It was summer so we rented a Jeep. We hiked and camped, and of course did newlywed stuff!

We quickly settled into married life, and Lisa started her new job in the marketing department for the local office of a major commercial real estate company.

We shared all the chores of married life. I even started cooking dinner a couple times a week. I had pretty regular hours and was usually home by 5:30, as was Lisa most nights.

The only real adjustment we had to make besides which side of the bed we preferred (we both liked the right side) was birth control. Lisa had gone on the pill the previous summer when we started dating, but after several months it was obvious her body didn't handle the hormones well. She tried a different brand with the same reaction. Then she did the Depo-Provera injections for a while, but didn't like the side effects.

We decided to go back to condoms for the time being, until we could decide on another method. We had already decided to wait a few years to start our family so she could develop her career.

It probably was the night of our first anniversary. We had both been crazy busy at work, and were looking forward to the weekend, and had reservations at Candelora's, a neat little Italian restaurant. We had a great meal, drank too much wine, and well, got a little too amorous. We had, of course taken an Uber for the evening. No sense getting a DUI. We came home, and practically attacked each other.

"I wonder what the Uber driver thinks about us? You pretty much molested me in the back!" she giggled.

"Hey, I kept my hands outside your clothes the whole time. At least as far as he could see!" I snickered as slid her dress off.

"Well, get out of those pants so I can fuck you, and then I want you to make love to me!

Lisa had gotten in the habit of wanting a hard fuck first, and then a slow, loving lengthy session.

We woke up Sunday morning sated, sore, and tangled up in each other.

It was about two months later, and we were at the gym. Lisa suddenly ran off to the women's locker room. She came back a few minutes later looking really pale.

"Are you okay?" I asked concernedly.

"I don't know. All of a sudden, I felt like I needed to puke." She said, still looking a little wan.

"I'm almost done my workout, let's just go home, maybe it was something you ate. Have you been drinking enough water when you work out?"

We went home, and Lisa laid down on the couch while I fixed a sandwich.

I turned on the TV and was flipping through the channels when Lisa sat up, and said, "Oh, shit!" and started thumbing through her phone.

"What?" I said, puzzled.

"No, no, I can't be..." Lisa dropped her phone, and just stared at me.

"We DID use condoms the night of our anniversary, right?" She asked.

"Yeah, we always do. We've been religious about that." I wasn't seeing her point. Not yet. Sometimes I'm a little slow.

"I didn't realize until now, but I didn't have a period last month. I never thought about it, and it could have been because we've been working out so hard at the gym. But my fertile time of the month would have been our anniversary weekend. And condoms can fail or leak."

"I'll run down to the CVS and get an EPT. Be right back." I leaned over and gave her a big kiss, grabbed my keys and left.

Needless to say, the + sign showed up. We were pregnant. We hadn't planned on starting our family this soon, so I can't say we were overjoyed, but we got used to the idea within a couple of days. We'd be young when she delivered; I'd be 25, Lisa would be 24, but some of our childhood friends were already parents.

That weekend we went home and told both our parents. They, of course, were thrilled. This would be the first grandchild on either side of the family.

Fortunately, the morning sickness passed fairly quickly and Lisa actually started having that 'glow' that pregnant women do.

I was sitting at work waiting for Lisa to call me with an update. She had gone to her midwife today for her checkup.

I came home and called out. "I'm home, how did things go today?"

Lisa walked out of our bedroom wearing nothing but one of my blue dress shirts. Her belly was slightly protruding, and she looked really sexy with her hair down.

"Well, she said things look good, but she wanted to do an ultrasound just to be certain. Can you figure out what she saw on the screen?"

As I've said, I can be a little slow sometimes. Okay, obtuse. "Well, I can see your belly is getting a little round. Your clothes should still fit, so why are you wearing one of my shirts?"

"What color is the shirt, Doofus?" she asked, looking at me with one of those looks.

"OH!" I ran over, and hugged her tightly. "A boy, is it?"

She nodded, with a big smile.

I know, I know. Everyone says they just want the kid to be healthy. And so did we. But I was the last of the males in my family. My father had sisters, I had two sisters, Tracy,22, and Leslie, 20, so the idea of having a son was special. Lisa had two brothers, but she also had a sister, so her parents would have been happy either way.

Lisa looked absolutely radiant. I grabbed my camera, and took a picture of Lisa, grinning, wearing nothing but my long, blue dress shirt. Two buttons held the shirt together so her breasts weren't completely visible, but it was the sexiest picture of her I had ever seen.

All was great for us.

Until it wasn't. About a week later Lisa had gone to bed not feeling well. She woke up early the next morning with cramps, and when she went to the bathroom there was spotting. We both called in sick to work, and called her midwife's emergency number.

A few hours later we watched the nurse do an ultrasound, and the reality set in that Lisa had miscarried.

"What we're seeing here are the products of conception." The midwife explained what was on the screen. "I'm sorry."

Lisa just laid there with her lip quivering, and tears rolled down her cheek. I held her hand, and stood there quietly.

The drive home was quiet and somber. Both of us had gone from being shocked at being pregnant, to ecstatic, and now, devastated.

Lisa walked in the apartment, turned, and hugged me. And started sobbing.

"Why, why, why?" She sobbed. "I had gotten so used to the idea of having a baby, even though it was sooner than we planned."

I could think of nothing to comfort her. I just held her close.

She pulled away and turned. "I just need to lie down and go to sleep." She walked in our bedroom and shut the door.

I flopped down in the recliner and just sat there. Eventually I got up and slowly opened our bedroom door to check on Lisa. She was curled up under the blankets sleeping.

Things were quiet in our apartment that night. Neither one of us said much or even knew what to say. Worse, Lisa needed to have a D and C to ensure that the miscarriage was complete. Two days later we went to the hospital. By the time we went through all the paperwork, the prep, the procedure, and recovery, it was past dinner time. Once again, we just went home and became zombies.

There really isn't any way to prepare you for how you're going to feel when a pregnancy ends badly. Obviously, the woman feels pain and loss, but what about the father? How does a couple navigate the different emotions both are feeling, never mind the well-meaning attentions from friends and family.

Lisa became withdrawn and moody. Her previously upbeat and joyful personality changed almost overnight. After a week she went back to work and seemed to be putting on a brave face, but at night she just curled up in bed with a bottle of wine and ignored me.

I was having my own difficulty dealing with the loss. I was a soon to be father of a son, and then I wasn't. The sense of loss was overwhelming, in part because it hit so hard and unexpectedly after things appeared fine. I'd lost friends and family before, but the pain from this was different.

I tried to comfort her, and was met with anger. "You DON'T know what I'm feeling!" She yelled at me one night.

"What about me?" I yelled back. "I suffered a loss too. Maybe I wasn't carrying him, but that was my son too."