You Ought to be in Pictures

We are all, each one of us a conglomeration of sorts molded by our environment, our associations with others, and most of all, our experiences. I'm pretty sure everyone knows all that. Let me add another factor, inexperience. Inexperience can turn out to have the greater impact on the road of life one finds him or herself traveling.

My own inexperience led me to a new and wonder life.

I was born two years after my sister who, as we grew older, had to look after me when mother went on her dates.

We didn't have a father, but mother introduced us to many uncles. Uncles would come and spend the night, a weekend, a week, then maybe we'd see them again but mostly not. Mother offered no explanation to their disappearances.

Jill and Bill we were named. And like other close-in age siblings, we looked and sounded alike.

That's neat, you say. Unfortunately for me, I was blessed, or cursed, your call, to be more like Jill than she me.

We grew to be 5'8" and slender. We each had rounded hips, narrow shoulders, wide bottoms, long flowing hair, and voices that could have sung falsetto in any Doo Wop group.

All that was great for Jill. Not so much for me. As you may have guessed, the boys made my life miserable. Their teasing, taunting, and frequent beatings took their toll on me.

When Jill turned 18, mother caught one of our uncles hitting on her and decided she'd rather be an empty nester than compete with her daughter. We were both told it was time to go.

With a generous donation from the same erring uncle who made advances toward Jill, we left home with $3,000. each.

Jill and I parted company. She stayed in Akron, Ohio, I guess. I hitched rides to California, San Francisco then LA to be exact. I, like so many before me, thought I could get into the movies, maybe become a big star.

Age 16, alone in a new City was daunting to say the least.

I needed to keep a close track of my money, so I lied about my age and rented a cheap hotel room in an establishment that rented by the month, the day, and by the hour. You get my drift. Right in the middle of skid row, Central City, East. But it was only a 7-mile bus ride to Hollywood where dreams are realized.

I looked up agents who, one after another suggested I go home and forget my dream of being in motion pictures.

After nearly 3 years of trying to break into pictures, I was turning 19 and working menial jobs to stay afloat. I hadn't given up my quest to break into motion pictures though. I kept trying out for auditions, practicing proper diction, enunciation, and articulation correctly, working on my posture and continuing in vain to find an agent that would represent me.

After years of rejections, I was dejected. Hands in my pockets, I walked the Strip hoping upon hope that something good would come my way. I was beginning to feel like the guy in that Albert Hammond song; "It Never Rains in Southern California". I was in fact, out of work and coming close to being out of bread.

I had a job as a dishwasher in a dump downtown where I worked from 8 AM until 3 PM. The breakfast and lunch shifts. the joint stopped serving at 1 PM and closed its door at 2. The job paid the rent and little more.

One afternoon, after I finished for the day, I took off my bibbed apron and left. So deep in thought was I that I'd forgotten to remove my hairnet which the owner required all his employees to wear.

I strolled down the boulevard window shopping and avoiding the pan handlers, secretly thanking God I was not one of them. Drugs were prevalent and you could see without trying the ravages of addiction in many a young person's face. Aside from an occasional bottle of cheap wine, I scrupulously avoided mood enhancing and mind-altering drugs.

I had decided to walk back to the hotel I lived in and was standing on a corner waiting for the light to change. An older, vintage Lincoln pulled alongside. One of its darkly tinted windows rolled down and a gentleman, maybe 45 or so called me over. "Excuse me Miss. Can I have a word?"

Insulted the same as I used to get back in high school when teased about my gender bending body and voice, I snapped that I was a man, a dude, a guy.

After sincere apologies and telling me it was my hair net that fooled him, the man said that my being a dude was even better. "Just what we're looking for. Ever thought of being in the movies?"

Talk about out of the blue. I was so excited I almost tinkled myself.

"Yes sir. Many times. Why do you ask," I said with fingers crossed.

"Had any experience?"

"Yes I have. I've had the experience of being turned down by every agent I've met and getting no call-backs after auditioning."

"Even better. You'd be perfect for the role in a movie we're planning. I'm out searching for cast members, those with little or no experience. The lack of experience adds to the reality flicks we produce."

He invited me into his car where we talked as he drove. I'm Frank," he said holding out his hand to shake. "Bill," I said taking his hand in mine.

"Soft, smooth, and delicate hands Billie. Very nice."

I asked about the movie and which studio they use.

"We make cult-like films geared to a specific audience. Our studio is a rented house complete with pool and 5 bedrooms."

"What part do have in mind for me?"

"Let's get to the set and have the director take a look at you before we get into the specifics."

It was a long ride out to the valley as he called it. I told him that Glendale was far from my hotel, and he assured me I'd get a ride back regardless of how things turned out. But he assured me that they would offer me some role.

I was feeling giddy with excitement. Out of nowhere this opportunity just drove up curbside.

"What is this?" screamed some angry guy in an effeminate voice. "You've been gone all day and this is what you bring me. Some sweaty, dirty girl?"

"Excuse me, Bill. Let me talk to Vince in private."

They walked out of earshot, and I saw Frank and Vince gesturing in an animated discussion.

They finally finished their conversation and came back to me. Vince had a skeptical look on him as he eyed me up and down. "Frank tells me you're not a girl. Is he right?"

"Yes sir. He's right."

"Have you ever acted before?"

"No sir but I can learn," I said hoping to impress this guy.

"Great, Frank. Just fucking great. I ask for seasoned actors and you bring me a wannabe. How can I work like this,?" he yelled walking away with his arms up-raised.

"God damned it," Frank said in disgust. "That cunt wants everything perfect. He just doesn't understand that this is Glendale, not Hollywood. Listen kid, hang loose for a while. Look around the set. Now, don't touch anything but go ahead and look around. I'll straighten this crap out."

I wandered around the place and saw through the patio door a swimming pool with 3 young slender guys hanging around. Two were wearing tight swimsuits and one was naked. I almost laughed seeing the little bumps in front and knew they must have tiny little dicks like the naked guy. But what was odd is that they all three looked like each other.

I was to find out later that they were actually triplets. They were a hook, something new and different to get the audiences invested in watching and buying the films they were in.

"You must be the new girl. I'm Trixie. Come with me."

"I'm a guy, Trixie. I'm Bill," I said wishing people would get it right someday.

"Really? Better still, young Billie. Come with me."

"Where?"

"To get suited up, of course."

"Uh, suited?"

"For the pool scene. Hurry before Vince throws another hissy fit."

I followed the short, slender Trixie admiring her curves as she led me into a bedroom. "Okay, Billy boy, stip."

"But I..."

She interrupted me. "Hurry up. Take em off and put this on," she said handing me a little swimsuit I knew would be very tight.

"What the hell," I thought. Maybe if I appear ready the director will give me a shot.

"Oh my," Trixie gushed. "You're certainly not like the other boys, are you?"

She was looking at my 5" dick which hung over normal sized balls regardless of my genealogy. Embarrassed, I quickly pulled the swimsuit up over my butt.

"They're gonna love you," she smiled.

"Who is they?"

"For starters, the 3 boys you're going to be filmed with. Plus, everyone who watches our movies. Women are gonna love what you're packing. The gays will too."

I didn't understand what she was saying but there was no time for Trixie to expound. Frank and Vince came into the room, Vince seemed to have calmed down.

"Okay Frank, I see what you're talking about. If she has any talent besides the lump in her swimsuit, I'll use her."

I started to panic and Frank whispered something to Vince and then pulled me aside.

"Look kid, we make adult movies here. Specifically, we make gay porn. Now, before you go off and tell me you can't do those things, let me ask you this. Did you see Broke Back Mountain?"

I said I had.

"Those guys never did gay stuff before. Did making that movie, appearing in scenes with other men ruin their careers? It did not. And it won't ruin your chances either. So, if you want the part, it pays $500 for the whole thing. If you work out, your salary will grow as will the parts you get."

I thought about what he said. It made some sense to me though I was still uncomfortable with all of it. When I tell you the money was attractive, it was more than that. It was important to my well-being. Living as close to the edge of homelessness as I was, $500 would go a long way in keeping me off the streets.

"What do I have to do?"

"First of all, just relax and let it happen naturally."

"Let what happen?"

"Those guys you saw around the pool. They're going to have a sex scene where you're lounging in a chaise and the 3 of them come up to you and seduce you."

"Then what?"

"Then you do what comes naturally to you."

"But I don't know what you mean by naturally."

"You know. Like when you're with your girlfriend."

"I never had a girlfriend."

"Then your boyfriend."

"Never had one of them either."

"Damn, son. I'd have sworn you were gay."

"I guess I should get dressed and go."

Frank thought for a minute. "Listen, kid. If you really want to be in movies, here's your chance. Like I said, acting gay doesn't make you gay. Just let your feelings come out naturally.... unless you're going to resist or fight it. If so, you can forget it acting here and, to be honest with you, anywhere else."

That $500. was calling me. "I really want to try acting, Frank. What do I do?"

"Just go out and listen to Vincent. He can be testy but he knows the business. And do what comes natural to you. Let the action flow through you and just go with the flow. "

I went out for my first shooting. Vince caught up to me and assured me that I would be just fine. "You won't have lines in this scene sweetheart," he told me. "Just lay back on the chaise and let the boys do the real work."

I was nervous as I walked out in only that little speedo suit and lay on the chaise. I did my best to relax and closed my eyes. "First time jitters," I told myself. "You can do this."

Soft hands on my chest startled me. "Shh. Lay still," one of cute younger guys whispered. "Vincent said this was your first time being filmed. Just go with it. You'll be fine."

"Thank you," I smiled. "Everybody's been saying that."

He returned my smile and continued to run his hands over my body. His caresses began to have the affect Vince desired. "Don't look at the cameras," he whispered.

But I could hardly look at anything. The wonderous feeling of soft hands caressing me, lightly pinching and pulling my nipples had my erection trying to feel itself from the confines of the nylon swimsuit.

Then two more hands began to caress my feet, ankles, calves, and thighs. I was in heaven and moaned my appreciation for the attention that was being lavished on me.

I heard a soft voice say, "Oh my," when his hands felt my hard-on.

I felt my swimsuit being pulled down and raised my bottom to help which ever pretty boy was freeing my boner.

The young man who had been caressing my chest and tummy began to lick and kiss my nipples as the lad at my feet began to masturbate me. Hands and lips searched and found those sensitive places on my body.

I felt someone turning my head and opened my eyes. The short thin erect dick of the one naked young man was touching my face. I groaned in ecstasy when someone took the head of my dick between their soft moist lips. I opened my mouth and allowed the young man to penetrate me, feeding me his little erection while someone did the same with mine.

In the distance I heard Vincent direct the person who was sucking me to masturbate me to orgasm, "But do him slowly. I want this scene to last."

"Oh God," I groaned when I felt the finger enter my bottom. One hand on my dick, the other finger fucking me sent me to places I never knew existed.

The dick that had been in my mouth was taken away. I opened my eyes to see what was happening. The two cute boys had removed their swimsuits so that all 4 of us were naked. The young man masturbating me smiled at me and blew me a kiss. I was bucking and humping, pushing back on the finger in my anus, helping him finger fuck me.

The other two young men were at my side masturbating over me. In an out-of-body experience I saw myself reaching out on both sides to fondle their little erections and gently squeeze their balls."

In the distance Vince could be heard telling someone that this was better than he imagined. "This is gonna create some real buzz. The new boy is gonna be a star."

My orgasm overtook me and I let everyone know. "Oh God, I'm cumming," I moaned thrusting my hips up and down as the young man pumped my dick in earnest. I felt my sperm landing on my chin, my chest, my stomach. I heard myself moaning and groaning. The two young men on either side of me came too, covering me with their seed. My face, my hair, in my mouth. They painted me, glazed me, used me as a source for their sexual release.

As I was calming down, I was in a state of bliss. It all seemed so right. I had no idea that sex could be this fucking beautiful.

Two dicks at my mouth, wanting me to clean them, taste them. I couldn't refuse them. My head turned from side to side as I licked their spent dicks. In some small way, I wanted to repay them for the attention they lavished on me.

"Cut. That's a wrap for the pool scene. Excellent. Well done. You, new guy, clean yourself up and come find me."

"I'm Terri," the young man who had masturbated me said, taking my hand and leading me into the house to a bathroom. "You were great. How many movies have you been in?"

He couldn't believe it when I told him this was a first for me.

"Your cock is so big," he said. "We never had one like yours before today. It's beautiful."

I washed the sperm from my body amazed at how much me and the two young men produced. Still naked, I walked through the house looking for Vincent.

"My clothes, sir. Where are they?"

"Don't worry about that now. We are gonna change things up from the original plot. You were absolutely fantastic, um, what did you say your name was again?"

"Bill, sir."

"Oh yeah, Sorry about that Billie. How soon can you get it up again?"

"Pardon?"

"Your cock, son, How long before you can get another hard-on? We're gonna shoot another scene."

I looked down at my shriveled dick. "Um, I don't know. I've never done this kind of thing before."

"That's okay. If need be, we'll use one of the three to fluff you hard."

"Fluff me?"

"You are new. Yeah, fluff you, suck your dick until it gets hard."

The thought of one of those pretty young men sucking me again made my dick twitch and stir from the short sabbatical it had taken.

"Excellent. Billie boy, you have real talent, Vincent smiled seeing my dick react so soon. "I must say I'm pleasantly surprised. Listen to me. You have the body of a woman; I mean minus the boobs. That nice fat ass, shapely legs, wide hips, coupled with your nice sized dick, you're gonna be a star. I'm going to feature you in some movies I'm thinking about. Don't get me wrong. Those three young dudes are very good at what they do but I have never seen them so inspired as they were with you today. "Trixie, come here, please."

Vincent took Trixie aside and they talked about some wardrobe things he wanted her to bring the next day.

The next scene was much like the pool shoot. The money shots, as I learned was letting the audience see the cum spurting from the dicks.

I was supposed to be in my home, naked thinking about sex and masturbating when there comes a knock at my door. Still naked, I answer the door and the 3 guys from the pool scene enter.

Surrounding me, one by one they remove their pants and make me kneel as they circle me, having me fondle and suck them hard.

I went from one to another to another sucking and jacking, my own erection waving and bouncing as I moved from one to another. One lad grabs me by my hair and pulls my head back giving him the perfect target to once more cover my face in cum.

No longer am I sucking and fondling dicks, Vincent has me masturbating myself as I smile up at the young men. When ordered, I opened my mouth wide when they announced their orgasms. When the first of them pulses a shot across my open mouth, I came too. It was hard to stay like that, with my mouth wide, trying to catch flying cum as my own climax rocked my body.

"Clean them," I heard Vincent direct me. "Lick their dicks for the camera, Billie."

More than acting now, I was happy to suck their little shrinking erections clean. Never having experienced sex before, I never imagined that dicks could be so arousing and cum tasting, well, not at all bad. Let's just say that.

Frank was elated with his new find, me. After the first movie was a smash hit, he raised my pay to $1,000.00 a week. He said he didn't want some other independent film company luring me away.

I didn't consider myself gay. I was merely acting in films in parts I enjoyed. Whenever I was recognized, as my popularity grew, I'd answer the questions about me sucking dicks. "I wasn't really sucking them," I'd lie. "I was just posing for the camera."

My hair grew longer, down to below the back of my neck. It wasn't something i wanted, Frank said it would help in the movies they planned and would enhance the beauty he and others saw in me.

I hesitated when told the next movie I would star in required me to wear women's wear. Frank took my hand in his and explained it in a way that made it alright. "Billie, baby, with your looks, your body, those long legs, and bubble butt, you'll look very sexy. Why, you'll drive gay guys crazy and have even straight guys drooling for you. When your panties are pulled down and that nice hard dick of yours becomes evident, you'll have more men wanting to watch your movies and buying your DVD's. This genre is about crossdressing and sissies, roles in which you are uniquely suited to star. It's a genre that people are starving for and we're going to satisfy their craving."

The opening sequence began with me wearing pink panties under a white chiffon nightie. I'm sitting at my vanity brushing my long, now henna colored hair as I'm gazing at myself in the large mirror. Besides the pink panty I wore showing through the nightie from the back, the viewer will see two large men approaching me in the reflection of the mirror.

They get close and the viewers can only see them from their stomachs down to their knees. I smile at the images in the mirror as they open their trousers and pull out two very large and very hard cocks.

I turn away from the mirror and smiled up at the faces, yet unseen by viewers. Taking a cock in each hand I alternate between the two. For several minutes the only sounds coming from the movie were the snarls and slurping coming from me as I work on those two cocks of my visiting lovers.