You Too?!

Janice didn't know WHY her roommate had to work out every day, but it aggravated her to no end. The pandemic had shut down all the gyms, meaning the 6'2 goliath had to use their shared living room as a personal workout space. He was usually thoughtful enough to clean up afterward. Usually. But the scent of sweat lingered in the air for hours afterward.

"48...49...50," he said, putting down the heavy dumbbell onto the towel underneath him and took a swig from a water bottle. His long, blond hair reminded her of some 80s surferbro movie she'd forgotten the name of. The old t-shirt he was wearing clung to his back, showing off his impressive musculature. Janice stared, maybe longer than would strictly be considered purely for antipathetic reasons. She wasn't into guys at all, in fact. But she did like muscles.

Ian noticed her there on the kitchen wall, watching him. He tossed the towel over his shoulder and casually walked to the bathroom, his smell making her wrinkle her nose.

"Go on," he said with a jerk of his thumb, "Room's free. Watch your anime or whatever, dude."

Janice frowned. She'd know she was trans for a year, and after a long night of handwringing, she finally went into a clinic and told a doctor about it. But she hadn't told anyone in her life. Least of all Ian, her jock roommate. She didn't think he would reject her outright, but there was always a lingering tension between the two of them. He was...aggressive. And domineering. He'd relay all kinds of lurid stories about his sexual prowess while Janice nodded and feigned smiles and did all the other junk she'd done to fake the male bonding garbage she'd been expected to enjoy. If Encyclopedias still existed, he'd be the example picture of "toxic male".

But, according to the Guy Code, calling someone out on their behaviour was a good way to get questions asked about the reason why you cared so much. So she endured the casual (if unintentional) misgendering and waited for the sound of the door to close before letting out a breath.

Loading up an episode of her favourite comfort show (well, her second favourite, but this one had giant robots and was less obviously queer coded), she tried to settle her nerves. Janice would have to tell him, eventually. If she didn't, the results would speak for themselves. She got her first dose of HRT two months back, and the effects were starting to show. Hence why she wore a sweater and baggy sweatpants when she could. Already the redistribution of fats had made some of her jeans unwearable. Luckily hiding your body shape just happened to look identical to "loser gamer chic", so she had some time. But what if he saw her without a shirt? Or found one of her bras in the laundry?

It was a lot to think about. That and her classes, her deep, unfocused yearning for physical affection mingling with her occasional flashes of dysphoria, and of course the looming apocalypse as the outside world seemingly disintegrated around her. She had a full plate already. So she focused on the pretty lights and colours of her (second) favourite show, and tried to forget, for a moment, her earthly troubles.

The bathroom door popped open at the end of the first episode, bathroom extractor fan sputtering to a halt. Janice leaned over to see the back of Ian, towel slung over his shoulder. Unbidden desire flashed in her mind. No. It was Ian. She didn't like dudes...right? Hormones, she thought. It had to be. Still, if she made herself horny, there's no reason she couldn't use that energy somewhere else. And with Ian safely sequestered in his own room...

Dominating people online had started as a carefree way to express a feminine side while suppressing the voice in the back of her head that told her what guys should and shouldn't be into, back when she didn't want to admit she was really a woman. Mostly text exchanges on anonymous sites, coaxing whatever gendered person happened to come along to be her lewd puppet. Harmless fun, she'd thought once. Now, it was but one facet of a personality that had come into bloom the moment she stopped denying who she really was.

With one eye on her cozy show to keep from getting too heated, she sent a few replies in DMs to a few of her current thralls. Some were even willing to pay for the privilege of her digital company, an act that sent a thrill of deviant delight through her spine. The scandal! The debauchery! She knew sex work, or something close to it, wasn't actually shameful. But it still had that ring of transgression that made it wonderfully delicious to engage in. And, of course, every time someone called her Mistress, a little burst of euphoria popped in her mind.

A few replies in, and things were getting a little too spicy. One of her pets had sent her a short video of them masturbating, whispering Janice's pen name. That kind of thing drove her up the wall with horny. She squeezed her thighs together, trying to focus on the message she needed to send. But the more replies she shot out, the more responses came in. One claimed that they shot a thick load all over their own face for her, while another pledged fealty and service in a way that made her feel like some tyrant queen. Still another named a brand new sex toy after her, and by the time she watched the other "Janice" get shoved deep into a needy hole, it was far past time to address her own building urges.

She skittered off to the bathroom, exhaling sharply. Oh jeez, how had she been so silly? Ian was at home, after all! But there were very few times when she could be inside alone during lockdown. The few times there were, she felt self conscious about any noise. Thankfully, the trusty "get off in the shower" play was always an option.

She closed the door behind her and ran the bath faucet, waiting for the water to warm. While she held her hand under the water, her eyes wandered to the sink top counter.

Her heart skipped a beat.

Right next to the shaving cream that Ian undoubtedly just used, was her weekly pill container. Today's entry was open, a single dose of estradiol clearly visible in the tiny alcove.

She snatched it up. Janice's mind spun. What the hell had she been thinking? Why would she leave that here. What if he had looked inside? What if he saw the estrogen tablets?! That was absurd, she thought, there's no reason for him to recognise HRT on sight! And who looks inside someone's medication holder anyways?

She shut off the faucet and flew to her bedroom, gingerly shut the door, then had as quiet a panic attack as she could. She gripped a pillow close her face and silently screamed. On one hand, she knew it was irrational. So many things had to fall into place for him to bust her, and that was only assuming he wouldn't be cool with a trans girl roommate. But what if he wasn't cool about it? What if he was just like every jock dick she knew in high school? Finding a new place in a pandemic sounded like a nightmare. She could be stuck with a jerk for months more!

So many worries spilled into her conscious mind. She tried a few breathing exercises she'd learned online. It was okay. She'd be okay. Her pulse gradually returned to a more regular rhythm, and the cold sweat abated to a mere general clamminess. She picked up the pillbox and, with deliberate motions to emphasize what she SHOULD have done earlier, opened the drawer on her nightstand to deposit it.

The drawer opened to reveal a second pill calendar...one identical to the first.

With almost deliberate comedic timing, she glanced in between the two boxes, waiting for one to vaporize into a hallucination or delusion as if this was some nonsensical nightmare. She opened the one in her nightstand. Sure enough, it had estrogen tabs in there too. So if she had hers, whose had she found in the bathroom?

Three quick raps on the door jolted her heart back into fight-or-flight mode. For a moment, she thought about ignoring the knock. She could pretend to be asleep! An elaborate deception played out in her head, then melted like cotton candy in the rain. Hiding would only prolong the inevitable. Janice steeled herself, trying not to panic, panicked a lot, then opened the door.

Ian stood in the doorway, his eyes not meeting Janice's for the first time she could remember. "So..." He rubbed the back of his neck, and his mouth formed several false starts before continuing, "I think you have my pill box."

She nodded, grabbing the one she took from the bathroom and handing it over. "I'm sorry. I have the same one and...umm...yeah, sorry."

He took it. "Thanks."

Silence. Neither knew where to go with it, but both knew that they couldn't just let it drop.

"Do you," Janice began, then hesitated. It wasn't her business! But... "Do you want to talk about it?"

"About what?" he asked. She could almost see the sweat bead on his forehead. He looked just as scared as she had felt moments earlier.

"About, y'know, the girl pills?" she asked, voice trailing off at the end.

"How did you...It's not...I mean...it's not 100% locked in that I'm trans or anything," Ian said, voice void of the usual forced bravado, reach a higher register as a result. "I just...I've felt for so long that I've been missing something. I laid out my thoughts to my brain doc, and she said it might be something called 'dysphoria'. So I went to one of those Informed Consent Clinics...I don't know, it's stupid, I can't be trans."

"It's not stupid!" Janice said, a little louder than she had intended. "Sorry. It's not stupid. And I should know. The reason why I took your pill calendar was because..." She picked up her own box and showed off the little estrogen pill inside. Realization dawned on Ian's face.

"Oh...fuck...you too?!"

Janice nodded, and they shared an awkward laugh. She didn't know many trans people in real-life, and just the fact that she hadn't had many close contacts since the lockdown began made the moment of commiseration so much sweeter.

"What's your preferred name?" Janice asked, then threw it, "It's kinda like meeting again for the first time, and if you wanna change anything afterward, no worries. Just let me know who you feel most comfortable as, and we'll go from there!"

"Lillah," Lillah said, "And she/her sounds right. It feels weird to say out loud, but people using female pronouns feels like..."

"Like someone you trust running a hand through your hair?"

She snapped her fingers and pointed. "Yes! Exactly!"

They talked over their own experiences and put together some puzzle pieces together, laughing when they connect some dots that the dysphoric fog that inundated their lives had obscured. As they spoke, the old walls they'd put up around one another fell away. They were connected now. And something more. That spark she'd felt, the attraction watching her roommate's incredible physique. She didn't have to run from that anymore.

And in some ways, that made it scarier.

"Lillah?" Janice said after they exhausted another topic, "I...is it okay if I say that I think you're hot?"

The larger woman snorted. "I guess? I don't see it personally, but I appreciate it. I feel too dudeish to be hot."

"No no, it's not that I'm into dudes. Muscular women are hot as hell!"

Lillah chewed on that, looking down at her own body. "Really? You...you think I'm hot?"

"Yes!" Janice confirmed, a little too forcefully. She blushed. "I'm sorry, I don't wanna make this weird."

"No no it's fine! I just didn't think...heh, it's funny," she reached out and put a hand on the wall right behind Janice. "I was thinking something similar about you."

The sweater Janice wore suddenly felt too hot. Sweat clung to her face, mingling with that lingering, erotic heat she'd been moving to deal with. She liked being in control, but getting bossed around by someone who was much stronger had an appeal too. Maybe she was a switch, or maybe she just enjoyed the idea of finally expressing her sexuality as the person who she really was, rather than the person she'd stopped trying to be.

"I...I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything," Lillah said, and pressed a light kiss to Janice's mouth. She pulled back, both of them scanning one another for signs of what they were feeling.

"Lillah I..." she stumbled over her words, "I...I mean, we're roommates!"

"There's nothing saying roommates can't fuck. Besides, we're locked down together. Why not have some fun with it?" she asked, then added after the pause dragged on a little too long, "Look, I totally get if you don't want this to get sexual. We can just be, y'know, regular roommates who happen to be women together. But, I mean, if you're into it, and if you find me hot...maybe we could find another way to pass the lockdown together?"

Janice wavered. The feeling in her belly, the tingling of confusing desire, only grew as they spoke. She looked longingly at Lillah's moistened lips, desiring to feel them once more. More than that. She wanted it all, but couldn't get the words out.

"I...I mean...if you want...but..." she tried, but almost made herself dizzy trying to push the desire out of the lump in her throat.

Lillah pressed her mouth into Janice's again, this time forcefully, as if claiming it as her own. Janice had nowhere to go, not that she wanted to go anywhere. A brief stiffening of her spine turned to relaxed acceptance as they wrapped their arms around one another. The taller woman forced her tongue against Janice's. A brief oral competition for control left her once again on the losing side, but she didn't mind at all. This felt too good to care who was on top; all she wanted was more.

They fumbled their way to Lillah's bedroom. Shucking their clothes in haste, Janice realized that it might be the last time either would need to wear anything vaguely masculine while in the apartment ever again. In that way, it was like peeling off a disguise and casting it aside. They were both themselves, finally, and intended to enjoy every moment.

Janice was softer by far, but both had shaved themselves smooth. The fat distribution had already done wonders, giving her plump thighs and a squeezable ass. Her small cock peeked out behind a pinch of public flesh. Her tummy, squishable and cushiony, rounded out her feminizing figure.

"Fuck you're hot," Lillah breathed, squeezing the other woman's ass with both hands, "And you're all mine."

Although Janice was wound up and ready to go, her flesh failed her. Months of hormones had sapped her cock's ability to stand up on it's own. The most she could get done was three quarters hard, perfect for getting teased with a vibrator but not so much in penetration. Despite how aroused she now was, her girldick refused to cooperate.

If Lillah noticed, she didn't show it. With casual ease she tossed Janice to the bed, landing with a thwump on the poofy bedspread. There was a primal fire in the stronger woman's eyes. Janice shuddered, gazing longingly up and down the now naked Lillah's body and wondering just what those amazing muscles could do.

"Mind if I take the lead?" Lillah asked rhetorically, then slithered atop Janice. However long she'd been on HRT, the effects hadn't reached her junk yet. Seven inches of long, hard dick pressed up against Janice's four incher, which struggled to keep up the fight to stay hard. Lillah grinded her cock down against its inferior, forcing moans from both of their mouths. They continued to kiss during the act, though the focus slowly dragged back to the action between their legs.

"I've never been..." Janice began, then tried to find the right words, "I've never done it with someone who had a cock. I...fuck, this feels incredible~"

Lillah nodded, pressing slightly harder on the next grind. Janice's softened stick dribbled pre. Onto her tummy at first, then, as the grinding continued, onto Lillah's own cock. The precum only made her feel more feminine, as she was tangibly 'getting wet' for her partner. Lillah decided to play this up, much to Janice's delight.

"Aw," she cooed, "Your little clit is drooling all over! Clearly your body is begging to be fucked. Is that right? How much do you want me inside you right now?"

Janice shuddered. It was like a little hand had slid into her brain and systematically pressed all of her secret subby buttons. That, mingled with the gender euphoria, produced a delirious haze that she never wanted to leave. This was a difficult concept to express at the moment, so rather than articulating this idea she said:

"Hhhhngh."

Lillah laughed at the mess she made of her roommate. "Yeah, I thought so. Stay there for a sec." She kept Janice's body pinned to the bed with one hand while she opened her desk drawer with the other, fishing out her bottle of lubricant. She applied ample amounts to her cock, then coated her hand in some more to apply around Janice's hole. "So you've taken anything before?"

"Just toys," Janice admitted. Her sexual experience had been wrapped up in the attempts to fill the role she'd never been meant to fill. As the aggressive male top, she'd been terrible. The prospect of getting fucked filled her stomach with all kinds of wonderful butterflies. Nervous energy pulsed through her limbs, and she tried to keep herself from looking too excited.

"Well, if you've taken a toy it shouldn't be much different. Just keep relaxed. I haven't taken anything, but I've fucked a lot of butts in my time. Trust me, I'm an expert," Lillah said, putting on a little of that bravado of her former male persona. Lest Janice think it was anything more than a front, she dissolved into laughter after a beat. "Fuck, I'm so glad I don't gotta act like King Chad anymore. I can just fuck hotties and be content. Speaking of: you ready?"

Janice gulped. "As ready as I'll ever be. Take it slow."

Lillah nodded. Angling Janice's body on the bed, she pushed herself against the lubed up hole. She was visibly straining to keep her desire in check, which Janice appreciated thoroughly. After a few false starts, she felt it. Her breath caught. The pressure on her hole gave way to a filled sensation, and she did her best to relax and just let it happen. She silently thanked the "training" she did with her toys.

"Oh fuck...oh wow..." she gasped.

"You okay down there?" Lillah asked.

Janice gave a little nod. "Just overwhelmed. Keep going."

"That's my girl," Lillah said with a smile. The little twinge of euphoria that condescending phrase caused mingled with the pleasure of a hard dick getting shoved inside her for the very first time. The first few thrusts were slow, easing her into the process. Only when they had a steady pace down did the first pressure against her prostate appear.

"Oh!~" Janice cried out. A droplet of pre dampened the tip of her own cock. She watched it slide down her half-hard shaft.

"There it is," Lillah said, amping up the domineering demeanour, "That little clit of yours isn't for sticking in holes. It's for showing how much you like getting buttfucked. Isn't that right?"

Janice moaned through her nod of agreement, subby feelings making he feel like she was floating. Oh god, she thought, it felt so good to let someone else take control for a while. Lillah fucked her just like any number of her female conquests, and that too had its own appeal.

Bedsprings creaked. Janice found it difficult to keep her voice in check. Decades of programming told her to keep her mouth shut. But who did she have to hide from anymore! She let her pretty voice sing out all its wonderful moans and whimpers and begging for more, and Lillah followed suit. The neighbours likely had an idea what they were doing, but what did they matter?

"You're such a good little slut," Lillah said, sticking a finger onto the little puddle of release Janice had made on her tummy before sliding it into the bottom's mouth to suck. That, too, was fucking hot, but a part of Janice began to resent the implication that she was some kind of subby disaster. She was a switch, gosh darnit, and she'd make Lillah figure that out soon enough. An idea slid into her mind, giving her a wry grin. When Lillah had her cock buried deep, she wrapped her legs tight around the other woman, locking her in place.