Your 10 to My 5

Maggie was waiting for him when they pulled into their slip. "How did you find me? I didn't want you to."

"I went to find you and when Ray was trying to explain to me that you left, I saw an envelope on the desk addressed to you here. I went to your house but only your mom was home. We spent the afternoon together, I told her what happened. She finally told me you were coming back to shore today so I went to the closest marina and waited. She wouldn't tell me where to look for you.

I got here at 7 this morning but I was so afraid that I missed you. She told me not to expect a warm welcome. She told me you don't open up often but she told me she knew something was bothering you. It's not like you to bail on school like that."

"She was right, I don't want you here."

"Why John? I told you I was backing away, I told you it might take some time."

"Did you sleep with him?"

"Why would you ask me that? No, I did not sleep with him John, well... not this time. I'm not a virgin and you know that. We said we were exclusive and that's what we are, forsaking all others from the moment we agreed forward."

"Tim didn't seem to understand that."

"He left me in the quad. I haven't seen him again and I won't see him again John."

"Seemed like a smart guy."

"John you're all I want please... He was on his way out."

"I didn't expect to see you with him. It struck me pretty hard. I won't compete for you Maggie. It either works or it doesn't. You either love me or you don't. If you love me you won't want to be with anyone else. If I ever find out you're with another guy it will tell me you don't love me, and that will be the last time you will see me. Period."

"Look, I came down here to see you, to let you know I took our promise to be exclusive seriously. That didn't mean anything to me, I understand how it looked to you and I'm sorry. It will never happen again. Can we go back to the way we were? Please don't walk away from me, from this... Please?"

"Maggie, if you'd just been upfront with me I could've dealt with it. I would've hated the concept you were out with another guy but I probably could've handled it. Not knowing, and tripping over you like that... just seemed like you were hiding something, being dishonest. I will not deal with that. I just won't." He shook his head and looked down. In the next few brief moments he went through his mental checklist. Would life be better with or without her?

Things were frosty between them for a few weeks, but Maggie kept up the pursuit and in time John thawed. Their relationship picked up and grew again.

The ice in the glass long since melted, John took a sip of warm water. 'God dammnit! Why didn't I take the hint. Has she been seeing guys on the side the whole time? How long he she been fucking him? Has this marriage for the last 30 years been a farce? Is anything real?' John wondered.

He got up and prepared to head to sea again. Cleaning, buying provisions, sleep was hard to come by that night, the questions running round and round in his head. He left the next morning, the run down to Georgia, then Florida and finally the run out to sea, to Nassau.

Maggie

"Oh fuck! What am I going to do?" Maggie wailed to Becky. "I've lost him, I've lost everything!"

Becky wasn't giving. "Maggie, why would you do that? What the fuck were you thinking? You threw away a 30 year relationship for shitty sex. How are you going to explain it to the boys?"

"I'm not going to... explain it to the boys. Oh god! How could I?" this sparked another round of tears. Her face in her hands, tears running down her cheeks.

"Have you talked to them?"

"No, not really, not since I told them he left. I keep calling them to see if he's called them. He only called Jimmy once and Sid's not talking."

"So, in their mind, John just left you, no reason, he just left. And you don't think they would wonder if John had done something wrong? You're just going to let them think whatever they think? You are willing to take the risk that this will damage their relationship with John and do nothing to prevent that? You don't deserve him, you know that right?"

"I've been so good, I just slipped you know?"

"You make it sound like you slipped on a banana peel and landed on his dick. You not only fucked another guy, you slept with him... all night! In John's Bed! What the FUCK were you thinking? Damn girl! Do you think John will ever forget walking in and seeing that?"

Maggie looked at her, realization dawning, reflected in her eyes. "If you had fucked him in a car, and gone home alone and John found out somehow, maybe, although I doubt it from John, but maybe. No, you brought the guy back to John's bed, he found you the... next... day. How could you possibly explain that?

You crushed the nicest guy I've ever met, he was the coach, gave everything to you and the boys, worked his ass off. Do you have any idea how many women threw themselves at him? I watched it happen. He was always polite, always gentle, but always resolute. No meant no, he wasn't interested. Period. You threw that away."

"I have to do something Becky, I have to make him know I love him."

"You can try but I'm not hopeful for you. If you can get him to talk to you, if you can beg, crawl to him, be the most wonderful wife in history, and don't ever even think about lying to him ever again. That will kill it in an instant. You're also going to have to deal with the boys. If they accuse their father, it's over. You know that right?"

"Oh god I fucked up, I fucked everything up. He has to talk to me... he has to!"

John

John was sitting on the floor of the cockpit in the back, the errant pump in his hand. He was in his uniform of shorts and ratty T shirt. Always a T shirt with fish on it. His tan had darkened over the past week in port. The Caribbean sun was hot, beating down incessantly.

"Hi! I'm Sarah."

"Hi Sarah." Not looking up, the casing appeared to have a locking ring, 'If I turn it this way it may come loose. Then I can get it unclogged.' John thought.

"Whachya doin?"

"Fixing a pump."

"Why?"

"It doesn't pump."

"Yeah but where does it go? What does it do?"

"It pumps water into the live well."

"Ok, now I understand that I know less than I thought I knew." The sarcasm made John look up. Long blonde hair, thin without being skinny, the sun from her back, John couldn't see her eyes but he could see the smile. He instinctively smiled back.

"There's a tank that holds bait fish and this pump circulates water to it, pulls water from the ocean and then feeds it into the tank. The water then overflows into a drain which goes back into the ocean. That way the water stays fresh, doesn't get too hot and makes sure there's oxygen. Keeps the bait alive, hence the name live well." This was approaching the longest conversation he had participated in for three weeks.

"That was nice."

"What was nice Sarah?"

"You explained that like everyone would want to know that, not as if I'm stupid even if I appeared stupid by asking the question. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"You don't talk much huh?"

"Not usually..."

"Can I come on board and watch?"

"Sarah, can I help you with something? I'm just trying to figure out how to get my pump fixed. I wanted to fish in the morning."

"I'm sorry if you don't want to be bothered... I was just... I'm uhh... My mom and Dad thought this would be good for me, to come sailing down here. But, they're just reminding me of... bad stuff. Stuff I really don't want to think about."

John looked at her again, she was hesitant, apologetic. He watched the pain flash across her face, to be hidden a second later.

"Well, if you're looking for company I'm not sure I would qualify right now. I'm... trying not to think about... bad stuff too."

"Are you here alone? Where's the wife and kids?

John winced and didn't want to lie to her for some reason. "The soon to be ex is at home, kids are grown and gone."

"Did you come down here alone? In that boat?"

"Yep. I gotta go buy a new pump. Stop by later if you want."

"Can I come with you? Where do you buy a pump like that?"

"Sure if you want, I have to go to the provisions store at the Marina office."

"Will you wait for me? I gotta go tell Mom where I'm going."

"Sure." John watched her jog down the dock, run up the gang plank to a 60 foot sail boat a few slips away. She ran like only women can, smooth as silk, her hair switching from side to side. She was spectacular. Long trim legs, just about as perfect an ass as John had ever seen, she was tan without being dark enough to be a sun worshipper. He figured her to be early 20s maybe mid 20's. A man looked out of the cabin down the dock and John waved at him shyly. He didn't wave back.

Sarah came running back down the dock, her white shirt with little pink horizontal lines mostly hid her body, loose and conservative. When he could see her face without the sun backlight he figured her for late 30's perhaps. Slight Crows feet at the corners of her eyes, a crease at the corners of her mouth. Eyes, at the same time beautiful, and intelligent, penetrating, wise.

"Parents ok with you coming with me?"

"Yeah... They're just being over protective. I went through some bad times before we came down here."

"I'm sorry."

They walked in silence up the dock, the steel drum music getting louder as they approached the marina office. There was a tiki bar with a sand floor, a few people sitting at the bar watching a steel band playing.

John asked Sarah "interested in a drink?"

"That would be nice. Are you sure it's ok? I mean do you have the time?"

"yes... I haven't really spoken to anyone in a couple of weeks. Just me and the Down Deep."

"I've been stuck on that fucking boat with Mom and Dad, the couple of the century. Not really what I need right now."

"What do you need right now?"

"A glass of white wine."

John smiled at her. They sat at a table away from the bar and away from the hustle and bustle of the steel band. The afternoon breeze was just starting to pick up, breaking the stifling summer heat.

"So, John, how long are you here? What's your story?"

"Let's figure out why they are, to quote you... "the couple of the century" and why that makes you mad first"

"I went through a bad divorce and my parents decided I needed to get away. They decided we'd come down here and rent a boat and sail our troubles away." She laughed, musical, melodic while being sad at the same time. Her teeth were blindingly white, her eyes a soft green.

"What's wrong with that? Sounds like they care about you."

"A bad divorce and I'm stuck on a boat with two people that have been head over heels in love since they were 16. Just reminds me of what I'll never have. I love them you know. Very, very much. I just wish Dad knew how to sail, or had hired a captain that does... I wish... I don't know what to wish for. I thought I had it all, I had a good job, thought I had a good marriage for 20 years, had the house with a white picket fence, a kid in college doing well, and in one night, it all came crashing down. It was all over in one night." A tear slid down her cheek. "I'm so sorry to unload on you John. I'm... sorry, I should go..."

"Sarah, please don't leave. I understand, more than you'll ever know." 'There's no way she's old enough for all that to happen, just no way.' John thought.

"I made it almost 30 years and it all came down in 15 minutes. It was daytime not at night but the end result was the same. I left and haven't been back."

"Oh John, I'm so sorry, are you divorced now too?"

"No. Haven't gone through the process."

"Have you talked to her? What happened, when did this happen?"

"I've spoken to her a few times on the way down here. Just short talks, more questions from me than anything else. Not a whole lot of answers. Let's see, a week and a half to get down here, and I've been here almost a week."

Sarah sat back and looked at John, an expression of sadness, it was the most caring look John had seen in months. "So fresh John. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Maybe someday... not right now. When are you heading home?"

"We have two weeks left on the boat but we may head back early. Dad tried to sail the boat but it was a lot harder than he remembered, and Mom and I know nothing. We can't help much."

"That must really suck for your Dad." John looked down at his phone, 23 unread messages. He opened his marine weather app. "The wind is going to be a little heavy tomorrow but the next day looks ok. Maybe we could get that boat out for a day. Think your Dad would let me help him sail the boat?"

"I don't know, I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings but maybe. Don't tell me you know how to sail?"

"Yeah, my Dad had a 30 foot sail boat when I was younger. We did a lot of sailing. It wasn't as big as your boat, but I can't imagine the principles are much different."

"Will you have lunch tomorrow with us? Can you tell that to Dad and see? I know it would mean the world to him." Sarah sat forward in her chair, her gaze was intense, she looked so excited at the same time fearful that this wasn't true, that it wouldn't work out.

"I think we can work something out, meet you all here tomorrow at noon?"

"Oh, John, I'm so sorry, I understand what you're going through, and here I am asking you to help my family out. It isn't fair."

"It's ok Sarah, I don't mind... really."

The next day at noon John walked up the dock ramp and saw Sarah waving at him as he approached the bar. He reached out and shook the older mans' hand. "Sir, John Baker... Nice to meet you."

"Ben Livingston." His smile didn't reach his eyes and he looked at John suspiciously. "I understand you sail."

"Yes sir." John replied as he sat in the empty chair across from Ben. "My father owned a 32 foot Nicholson when I was younger. Instead of baseball and camping in the summer we sailed. He finally sold the boat a couple years ago when he couldn't handle it on his own anymore."

"John, this is my Mom, Beth Livingston." Beth was an older version of Sarah, still beautiful with a similar smile.

"Hi John, Thank you for meeting with us today. Sarah told us you knew how to sail and Ben was very excited about maybe getting the boat out tomorrow. We don't want to put you out but it would really be a big favor to us."

Ben and Beth interrogated him with a practiced skill. Ben would ask the technical questions and Beth would slip in the difficult questions during the conversation. John realized as he walked back to the Down Deep that they knew an awful lot more about him than he was prepared to share. The three of them knew he had caught his wife cheating on him, that it was still too fresh to know what he was going to do, the background of his boys, the fact that he was hiding from everything down here, with no schedule. They knew he was an engineer that had not been in contact with his office for almost three weeks, and that he was almost ready to face the world again. The schedule for tomorrow had been set.

John was laying on the bow on the sail bags watching the undisturbed water coming at him. The breeze was gentle, just enough to give them steerageway through the small waves of the ocean. Sarah settled down next to him also laying on her back, looking up at the sky.

"Penny for your thoughts John..."

"They probably aren't worth a penny. In fact I'd probably have to pay you."

"You know you've made Dad happier than I could imagine he could be a day ago."

"He's better than he thinks. I didn't do much but give him the confidence to make decisions. He's fine..."

"John, what are you going to do?"

"Now I'm going to have to pay you... that's just what I was thinking about. I think my break from things is coming to a close. I'm going to have to get in touch with the office. I'm sure I have things backing up. I will have to clear the air with my kids, and uggg... I'll have to contact her, start the division of things."

"Prepare to come about!" Ben hollered from the helm.

"He is in his glory isn't he?" Sarah said as John started to rise with a rare smile on his face.

"It's good to see... Look at how your mom looks at him, like he's going to give milk or something." A cloud passed through John's eyes. "I thought I had that... Shit... sorry."

John released the port side rope as the sail began to swing with the turn, and pulled in the slack on the starboard as the boat began to heel over in the turn. He adjusted to genoa to his satisfaction, confident that they were getting the maximum thrust from the gentle breeze, the mainsail taught with no flutter. Looking up he was comfortable they were cruising downwind towards port and he knew his relaxing day of sailing would come to a close soon. He settled down on the sail bags again.

"I'm not looking forward to this."

"I know how you feel, I went through this about a year ago. John, whatever happens I'd like to keep in touch with you." She didn't think John could hear the beating of her heart, but it was there. "I know now is not the time and it isn't what you're thinking about, but in just a couple of short days, you've reminded me that there are decent people around." She blushed, glanced at him and just as quickly glanced away when he caught her looking. "Decent Men."

"Sarah if we'd only met at a different time."

Later, the sails reefed John backed the boat into its slip. Watching to be sure the lines were properly tied, he reached down and turned off the diesel engine. "That was fun Ben, thank you for a great day. Brings back a lot of good memories."

"My thanks to you son... Are you going to be up for another day out this week?" Ben was smiling at John hopefully, his silver hair moving in the breeze, the effects of the sun red spots on his cheeks. He had the expression of a truly happy man.

"I would love to but I'll have to play my schedule by ear. Can I get back to you?"

"Sure! Just let us know when you'd like to go out. I know Sarah would love it."

"I would enjoy it as well sir. Are you all good getting everything stowed, washed down or do you want a hand washing the boat down?"

"I think the women are already working on that but thank you." Ben smiled and gestured at Sarah and Beth as they swabbed down the deck with soapy water.

"I'll take my leave then. Enjoy your evening." John slid off the gunwale onto the dock smiling, 'take my leave? I feel like a British captain in WWII where did that come from?' He thought while he walked back to the Down Deep. Crawling onto the boat reminded him of his loneliness. He felt more alone than he did the day before. Maybe he was beginning to feel again. Maybe that was good, maybe not. The anger surged again and he picked up his phone and turned it on for the first time in a while.

Voice mail and texts were not his priority and he dialed Bob.

"Holy shit! You live... John I was really getting concerned! Where the fuck are you?"

"I'm in Nassau."

"No shit really! How are you buddy? Are you ok?"

"I'm still really pissed off Bob. I know I have a job to do even while I'm down here licking my wounds."

"Yeah John, we have a problem with the Alexander account. They have a valve and an elbow that keeps failing. They want a new design to fix it, can we move the valve or eliminate the elbow or something. Shit, do you have time to deal with this?"

"Email me the plans Bob and I'll look at it. I'll get something to you by the end of the day tomorrow."

"I'll feel much less bad about your direct deposit tomorrow if you do."

"Yeah about my direct deposit, hold it for a day or two. I need to start separating stuff, square away my investments."

"Speaking of that, ummm... She calls every day asking if I've heard from you. Can I tell her we talked?"

"As long as you don't tell her where I am you can say that we spoke. If you speak to her, tell her I won't speak to her again until she can tell me why. I've already told her that but it wouldn't hurt for her to hear it again in a different voice I guess."