All Comments on 'Your Assistant is Attractive, But...'

You started off really good and the build up was great content was nice but you got to the good stuff an what the heck happeneded??? are you not comfortable writing about the stuff maybe this gene is not for you... If that is not the case take it back to the drawing board and finish you have a great start now finish it,,, then repost it and you wil be very happy

Far too short, but as it was your first story, so what ? This is crying out for another chapter, this time a longer one. There were some good parts which prove you could be a very good writer.

I'd give it an A- for a little less characterization than would have bridged this encounter, but it's quite gorgeous.

Did it really happen?

Any other comment?