Your Mother's Visage Ch. 02

Chapter 2: Dinner for Two

I tried not to think about him much after the funeral. Truth be told, I was a little busy. As my mother's only child, I was given responsibility for all her possessions. As difficult as it was to go through old memorabilia of my awful childhood, I slowly began making progress in clearing things out. Aside from the emotional strain, it was a laborious task. I took time off work for bereavement, but eventually would have to go back. I tried to focus on moving the larger furniture, but after heaving to the best of my ability, I ran out of steam and decided to lie down on the couch. I pulled my cell phone out of my back pocket and swiped it open. I opened my texts to the draft I had prepared to send to Andrew.

Hey, it's Luna! Decided to take you up on that offer. How's dinner sound? You can choose the place!

Send. I put my phone face down on my stomach and laid my arm over my eyes to block out the lamp. My phone buzzed and I immediately grabbed it and read the preview...

Sound gr8! How does...

I swiped open my phone and read the full text. He was thinking of Mexican food. He also asked if I wanted to be picked up. I began typing that I could drive myself, but decided to delete it.

I've been working a lot lately, mentally and physically. I deserve a little break for myself.

Sure! Let me know when. I'll be free whenever. I'm staying at my mom's so you should know where to pick me up...

After a few texts back and forth, we planned to meet in a couple of days. My heart continued to race leading up to the meeting. It wasn't simply due to being excited to see this mysterious man. I always get like this when first talking to someone. I would be scared of how they'd react when I told them. I would contemplate starting out by telling them. I would justify not saying anything. "Oh, I don't want to go all the way" is usually my go-to. I know I'm just afraid. Afraid of rejection. Afraid of violence. Afraid I would lose out on meeting someone because of it.

That last fear is uncalled for. I mean, why should I care about the opinions of someone that wouldn't accept me for who I am? Worse, why should I judge someone for not being interested in someone like me? It hurts, being identified as "not really a woman." In general, but particularly by straight men. It ranges in pain of course. Sometimes, they let me down easily. "You're a beautiful woman, I'm just not interested in..." or "I want to start a family one day." Those, I can understand. The ones that get to me are the looks of disgust. The ones that yell at me for manipulating them, deceiving them. It hurts the most when they change their attitude and start treating me... differently.

I continue to worry. Maybe I should tell him immediately. However, it probably won't be like that anyway. He probably just wants to talk about mom. I mean, that's what he said, right? He's much older than me anyway. I mean, I've slept with men older than him, but that's beside the point. There's no reason to tell him now. In that case, I need to come up with a story on why he's never heard of me. I mean, what's there to tell? I was at college and mom and I never had the closest relationship. Maybe he has heard of me. Well, then I'll say I have a younger brother. A couple years apart. He's in college now actually! That might work. I hope we don't talk about my family for too long. I'm equally as interested in him as he is me anyway. I'm curious about this mysterious man.

"So... how long exactly were you sleeping with my mom?"

"Hey now! We went on dates and stuff. In fact, she used to really like this place," he replied with a chuckle and a smirk.

"I know, we actually used to go here a lot..." I whimpered lightly.

"Oh? She introduced me to this spot when we first met. It might've actually been our first date," he replied, equally solemn.

"So, you guys went on dates, but weren't dating?" I said with a slight raise of an eyebrow.

"Well, yeah. We were never official. She didn't want to be tied down to one guy and was worried about how it'd look to be with someone significantly younger than her..."

"Did you have a problem with the age gap?" I interrupted.

"Of course not. She was a beautiful woman and honestly, I feel like I look older than I am." he said brashly.

"Just a little," I teased. "Anyway, go on," I pried.

"Not really much else to it."

"Did you ask her out? I mean, did you want to date my mother?"

"I did, actually. I asked her out on a few occasions. It's funny too. She used to get so upset at me whenever I went out with another woman. She'd give me the cold shoulder for days afterward. Whether or not I did anything with those women..."

"Did you?"

"Whether or not I did! She would still get upset at me. So I'd ask, 'Why don't we just go exclusive then?' And she would always give her usual answers. It didn't make sense to me at the time, and it still doesn't really. But I respected her answer and left it at that."

"Wow. A man with some respect. You're a dying breed."

"I'm from a generation that actually believes in chivalry. You girls nowadays want to do everything yourselves," he teased back.

"That's not true. It's still nice for a man to pull out a chair for you or to open a door. They're appreciated by me at least."

"I'll keep that in mind. So, what about you? I know you said you weren't close, but I don't recall ever seeing you in the family photos your mom had out."

Oh great, it's begun. "I'm surprised she even kept them. Which ones are you talking about?" I asked anxiously.

"A few with your mom, your dad, and a young boy." Cringe... "And some were just her and the boy," he said with the blankest stare.

Honestly, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to put two-and-two together when you put it that way. But I decided not to throw in the towel just yet.

"Figures. She kept the ones with my younger brother in them and not me. What a bitch." I said with feigned anger. I even punched the table, despite it not being ladylike.

"Hey now, it's okay," he touched my hand and it released from a fist and flat on the table. "Look, I know how your mother can get. Remember, I've spent a lot of time with your mother. Genuine, real time. She could be a little hard at times, but remember that she always loved you."

"Thanks, I guess." I pulled my hand down under the table quickly. The other grabbed a chip and began eating. The rest of dinner went smoothly. We ordered and ate our food. He asked me about what I did, I asked the same. I found out he's a construction worker. Not the most refined, but certainly pays well and requires a lot of dedication and hard work. I dug deeper and asked about any recent projects. Small talk for the most part. We did talk about my mother once more.

"You know... you look quite like your mother," he stared at me. Not into my eyes, not anywhere inappropriate, just, at me. It felt like he was admiring my face, my hair, the shape of my body, but innocently. It made me a little sad just looking at him. I would look in the mirror and see the face of someone who abandoned me. Disgusted by who I was, she ignored me. Not entirely, as I visited her throughout college. However, when I no longer looked the way she determined I should, I was nothing to her. She couldn't even look me in the face, so why do I have to? Every morning, even if I try to avoid it, I still see glimpses of her in the reflection, because Andy was right, I couldn't deny it. I-

-"You have your mother's visage."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Your mother's vis-"

"No, I heard you. What does 'vee-saj' mean?"

"It's visage. It means face."

"From when? The 1400s?"

"Come on now, you know-"

"You're right, excuse me mister Leonardo" I mimic taking a hat off my head and bow. He chuckles with disdain and embarrassment.

I laugh it off with him. "Thank you," I say.

"So... you ready to get out of here?" he whispers.

"Yeah, back to my place?" I say out loud. He gestures his hands in front of him, palms up, as if to say, "what the fuck man." I laughed one loud "ha!"

"Hold on, don't get out of the car." he said as we pulled into the driveway. I was confused at first, until I saw him run around the front and over to my side.

"After you," he said as he opened the door.

"You know you should really go around the back of the car." I said snidely.

"The car's off!" he said, mouth wide open but with a noticeable grin, appalled that I didn't comment on his chivalrous act. So I kiss him on the cheek.

"Thank you, big guy. Now, come over here!" I gesture him over as I skip away from the house.

"Um... where are you going?" he said with hesitation as I moved towards the forest. He might have thought I was there to murder him. Maybe that I was feeling extra naughty and wanted to do it in the forest. It was neither.

"Just come here, I want to show you something. Don't tell me mom never took you out back before!"

"I mean... not at her place. It was usually at a..." he mumbled.

"Not like that you pervert. Just look!" we were deep enough into the thicket to where we could see an opening. There sat a pond. Now mind you, it wasn't a lake. It was just a small little pond.

"Wow, a pond?" he said questioningly.

"Yeah, I know. It's not the coolest thing. But when I was younger, mom used to take me out here to play. The pond isn't very deep, and it was usually pretty clean. There would be flowers that sprouted around the edge, and in the springtime, the fireflies would come out and light up the whole pond. I miss those days." I squatted down by the water and stared at my reflection. As I looked back at myself, I didn't see my mother. I saw the little boy that played by the pond.

"Wait a minute... now that you mention it, your mother did tell me about this pond."

"Oh?" I asked without turning around.

"Yeah. She said that when she became a mother-"

"That must have been my brother," I said under my breath, standing up and turning.

I began walking towards the house as Andrew said, "But I thought you were the older..." by that point I was too far away to hear. I already heard enough. By the time I got to the house, I was contemplating whether to go straight inside and pretend like all of that never happened, or to just wait. I didn't have much opportunity to decide however as he immediately appeared behind me. Sometimes I forget how quickly taller folk can walk. He was breathing slightly heavier. In a way, he chased after me.

"Stop! Luna, stop!" he said between breaths, "Look, I don't fully understand what is going on here" I know we live in the country, but he's not that oblivious is he? "Or, I might. But, I don't think that it's my place to discuss it." Okay, slightly respectful. "So I just want to say, I met you as Luna, I know you as Luna. I won't stop thinking about you as Luna." He won't stop thinking about me. "Now, if that's okay. Could I please get some water from your house?" he said exasperated. Maybe he was just playing it up so he could get inside. Regardless, I didn't know what to say. I don't usually get this far, to be quite honest. At least, it's normally not that straight-forward. I usually have to work harder for it. But then again, this might all still be innocent. I still wasn't sure.

"Sure," I say as I step up the stairs. He followed closely behind.