You're Sexy When You're Mad

I can't believe how good this feels. It feels so hedonistic. And I don't know if it's the adrenaline or if it really does feel this fucking good but it's driving me wild. I lay back forward on the bed leaving my back arched and ass in the air.

He watches as his hands move around from squeezing and rubbing my breasts to grabbing my full wide hips so he can get a better grip. He watches and admires the muscles in my back, the narrowing of my waist creating two parenthesis inverted allowing his hands to fit perfectly where they join my hips. He watches as I turn my head to the side, close my eyes, bite the sheets along with my bottom lip as I try my best to take all this dick in a place that neither one of us has yet to explore. He listens to my moans and my groans and my "yes's" and my "God yes's" to my "please's" and my "shit's" to my "fuck's" and "my don't stop's" and calling out his name.

He listens to the sound of his dick sliding in and out, his torso hitting up against my ass, to the sounds coming out of him that he's never heard before, to the nine different ways that he's said "I love you".

There's "I love you."

Then there's, "God I fucking love you."

"God I love this ass."

"I think there's only one thing I love more than this pussy."

"I love fucking your ass."

"Did I tell you I love you?"

Not to mention all HIS "shit's and "fuck's", his calling out my name and "Goddamn girl's".

And then, I feel a gentle kiss on my back as I feel him slowly pulling out of me. The entrance to my backdoor delaying a second or two to bid him farewell as it closes again. He turns me over so I'm lying on my back my hands over my head. He climbs on top of me, one leg in between mine, he's half hovering, not resting his full body weight on me as he kisses me deeply, so deeply, as if he wants to pour every ounce of passion he has into this kiss. His tongue circling around mine, searching. He finally breaks his kiss, instinct causing us to open our eyes and find each other in a gaze. A gaze that intensifies as we search each other's faces. A gaze that says we are finally having our lost moment back.

"You still ok?" he asks lovingly as the back of his hand tenderly strokes my face. I nod with the same look of that innocent teenage face from so many years ago. "How does it feel?" he asks gingerly, wanting me to tell him it feels good and to keep going but afraid that he's hurting me and he has to stop.

"Amazing." My eyes lighting up like I just discovered sex for the first time all over again.

His eyes light up thankful that we share the same sentiment. "Still the same old Ally Cat", he smiles shaking his head.

He shifts his body so he is laying completely between my legs. He kisses me. Then kisses the bridge of my nose. He looks back down at me as if trying to see if it's really me.

"I don't want to fuck you. I want to make love to you. You are beautiful, this moment is beautiful. I want to see you, what you look like when I enter you. I want to see your facial expressions telling me how it makes you feel. I want to feel everything with you capturing and memorizing every beautiful detail. I'm wise enough now to know what not to squander. And I don't want to squander this."

He lightly kisses my lips as he reaches down, takes hold of his erection and places it at my opening once again. He looks at me, his eyes signaling that he's about to reenter me. I feel the familiar invasion again. The fullness and arousal building inside of me. He feels even bigger in this position but fuck if I don't still enjoy it. He moves ever so slowly staring into my eyes him watching me once again. Watching my back slowly arch and my mouth open wider and wider as he sinks further and further into me. Watching my breath quicken and my eyes roll back as I hum my glorious sounds. He watches my legs curl up around his waist. He watches my panty bound hands go around his neck pulling his mouth to mine. He watches me take those panties off so I can grab and claw at his back in animalistic need for more. He watches me take one hand and reach between us so I can rub my clit and stick two fingers in my pussy to double the pleasure as his dick moves in and out of my ass. He watches my hand work my clit as he admires the handy work of his dick being the first and only one to stake its claim.

And while it still feels, taboo, it's erotic and romantic. It's kinky yet sensual. The one thing it doesn't feel . . . is wrong. And while I was taught somewhere along the way that anal sex was, dirty and wrong and reserved only for nasty girls, freaks and porn stars. THIS, most certainly does not feel wrong. But then again, nothing ever does with him. In fact I feel like a Goddess. I feel like a boss that I'm taking this dick like a champ on my first try. I feel empowered that I am making him feel this way, giving him this much pleasure, that I am somehow in some way still a first for him and no one else has that but me, just like no one has that but him. We can say anything, be anything and do anything with and to each other when we are here. And somehow we fuck and make love at the same time.

"You are fucking incredible" he says with his cheek pressed against mine. "This is far better than the best I've ever imagined. Better than every fantasy, every scenario. Thank you for keeping this for me, for choosing me."

"Thank you for waiting for me" I say in return. "For being worthy."

And as if that meant more to him than all his successes, all his conquests, and all that he's acquired, as if he's understood for so many years that this is the one thing that his money, power and connections could never get him, I and this, are his greatest accomplishments yet. He wraps his arms around me like vines having a mind of their own pressing me into him even more kissing me hard again and sucking on my neck.

He wraps his arms under my thighs pinning my knees to my shoulders with his shoulders, leaving my toes pointing, flexing and curling in the air. "FUCK" I yell. But he doesn't stop to check to see if it's a cry of pain or pleasure. This feels too fuckin good to him, he can't stop, not now. He needs to keep fucking this ass. His dick moving in and out of me in this steady rythym that feels more like a dirty dance. He knows all my sounds very well and he knows that that means that I'm almost there. He feels deeper this way. He's forcing my thighs to squeeze together causing my clit to feel pinched and pronounced making every thrust of his rub up against it triggering maximum pleasure, intentionally done of course. God he's good. Looking down I want to watch him slide in and out, but I can't help but get distracted and turned on by his shredded abs and thick plated defined chest. The striations in his shoulders and heaping traps. "Mmmmmm" I moan but not at our love making but at the site of him.

His back is what gets me though. I'm such a sucker for a wide, muscular, well defined back. And his checks off all three. The skin of my hands, tips of my fingers become sensitized and charged at the feeling of all the muscles in his back flexing and contracting while he puts in that work sending an electromagnetic pulse that seems to be directly linked to every nerve ending and erogenous zone in my body. I must remember to ask him to put a mirror on the ceiling allowing me to watch him from all angles so I can be both partaker and voyeur observing the power in his back when he moves.

"You are beautiful", I say to him. And I don't even know if a female is supposed to say that to a guy but God only knows he is and I'm almost certain that I'm not the first to say it.

"Mm, mm." He shakes his head. "The only beautiful thing in this room right now is you. Right here," he kisses me, "beneath me, with me in between your legs, mmmmmm. You are beyond beautiful to me. You are exquisite."

With his arms on top of my legs, his hands find mine and he weaves his fingers through mine bringing them next to my head.

"I fucking love how you're taking all this dick in this tight ass."

He presses his forehead to mine, now pinning me with his eyes deepening his strokes taking them even slower but grinding them even harder.

"This is mine" he says.

"FUUUUUCK" I yell again at the decadent feeling of him grinding into me. "Yes baby, yes it's all yours, only yours" I yell out.

My calves and ankles wrap around his neck and he moans that carnal moan when he's about to cum. His right hand finds my breast, squeezing and teasing my nipple. His tongue pressing through my lips finding and massaging mine. Our passion, our chemistry, our synchronicity, it's unparalleled.

He whispers softly in my ear, "I love you".

I whisper softly back, "I love you more.

"Promise me you'll never do this with anyone else. Promise me that this is ours." He says.

"I promise. So long as you'll promise that you'll do the same" I answer back.

I keep repeating it. With a deep kiss and a half gargled "Yes I promise, I promise, I promise" into his mouth in between our tongues dancing their usual dance. I promise . . . I promise . . . at the end of his strokes and my heavy breaths. He squeezes my breast hard. My body is on sensory overload.

"Wolf" I whisper with our tongues still going at each other.

"Yes Ally"

"I think I'm gonna cum".

He groans.

And the familiar feeling of my ache growing, my body building, my clit hardening, my body shaking starts to ensue. The voltage that lays deep within me has been turned past the red line and I can feel the sparks in my legs and my spine start to ignite. And with the last bit of energy I have left before I'm unable to speak, and before I come apart at the seams, with a breathless voice I whisper into his ear.

"I want you to cum inside my ass."

"Oh fuck" he says as my last set of words are his undoing. "Ally" he calls out my name. And we climax together. My orgasm radiates from the core of my body with such force it feels like it's the epicenter of an earthquake and I'm being ripped in half at its fault line. I feel his lower body jerk and stiffen as his last thrust slams into me pouring into me right down there where I asked him to.

He collapses on top of me releasing my legs from their sexual couple's yoga position. He reweaves his fingers back in between mine, my hands still alongside my head. He plants a gentle kiss on the bridge of my nose and then on my lips. And right as he starts to pull out of me he suddenly stops. He kisses me with a burning desperation. He looks almost afraid. But of what?

"Please", he says sounding almost tormented. He looks as if he's just been hit with some truth that he's not yet ready to face. I search his eyes trying to find what has caused this sudden shift in his kisses from tender love to soul penetrating fear. "Promise me" he pauses, fixing his eyes on mine again so I understand the importance of his next set of words.

"Promise me that you'll never give this away." And on the word "this" he emphasizes the word by changing his tone and thrusting his dick deep back inside my ass again, burying and pressing himself all the way into me, ensuring that there is no confusion as to what it is that he's referring to.

My forehead crinkles and my eyebrows narrow showing my obvious confused look of befuddlement. Didn't we just promise each other this about two minutes ago? And as usual my lack of a poker face gives away my thoughts. He pulls out of me slowly, cautiously still being mindful not to hurt me but remains on top of me bearing some of his weight on his elbows and forearms. My body tenses as my bottom scoots back helping him to exit.

"I need you to know that that was not just, this is hot sex "whose pussy is this, you're the only one for me" pillow talk." Promise me that you will never let anyone else do that . . . have that."

He further distinguishes from do that to have that as if clarifying the difference between having anal sex and what we did was something far more special, different from your average night of passionate fucking with someone.

"I don't think I could bare it. What we just did . . . The thought of you doing that, being like THAT with another man. . ."

And that tormented look returns. He squints his eyes and shakes his head as if he's trying to rid himself of an image of me with someone else that just popped into his head.

"Heeeey", I grab him by his face placing both my hands on either side.

"I . . . PROMISE. . . YOU. I will NEVER do that with anyone else. It will remain FOREVER YOURS ONLY. That wasn't just pillow talk for me either."

He lays on his back beside me pulling me to him so I can lay my head on his chest. He appears to feel a little more reassured.

"I know you said that you always flat out rejected men when they wanted to do that saying that you just weren't into that. But why me?"

"To be honest with you. I couldn't picture doing that with anyone else besides you. Every time I envisioned it I saw us as kids and I wanted THAT moment back. It wasn't about experimenting or being more experienced or being with someone for a while so you just assume it eventually has to happen. No one was ever going to be able to give me back a lost moment. And I don't know why but it meant something to me. Call me sentimental but it just did.

He lays quietly. Listening intently. Not interrupting, not responding. I turn on my side to face him. "What about you?" Expecting the same in depth response.

"I already told you, besides I think I've said enough? He says as if he's already explained himself and given his soul bearing testimonial.

But you know us females we want more. We want details, the run down, the bleeding heart, the explanation that sounds like the lyrics to the country western broken heart song or the Luther Vandross a House is Not a Home rendition. But I can tell, he's clamming up. No longer hidden behind me. No longer shrouded behind the smoke screen of the emotional high of being caught up in the adrenaline rush of our love making that makes us so bold to do and say the things that we NEVER would under normal circumstances regulated by our rational logical thinking minds.

What is it the old folks use to say, the thrill is gone. The conditions have now changed. And as much as I would love to pry, I am blissfully spent. And for tonight I will let him get away with it. And for tonight he is pleasantly surprised that I am not putting up a fight and I am all too happy to let it go and just sleep. And with that I see him peek over at me, my eyes getting heavy. As I drift off I see him turn on his side with his elbow tucked under his head and he silently watches me fall off into oblivion. And I feel rather than see an arm reach around me pulling me in closer to the glowing warmth of body heat, the hard but soft touch of a chiseled chest. I form my body into a fetal position nuzzling myself against him like a child to her father after a bad dream. He envelopes and embraces me like he was the chosen one who was selected and assigned to be my protector but made the mistake of also falling in love.