by ZachDocEight
It looks like Zach may have found a home away from home. Make it interesting please.
A strange one.
The format took a while to register how it was written and how it has to be read, once established it made sense and the first page became a good read. actually better than a good read with a great description and build up, right up to the wash in the barn.
At that point I stopped reading to have my dinner and returning to the story I got to them eating dinner and couldn't get back into the stride of it after that.
An hour later I started again from the phone call at the diner and loved it right through to them eating dinner and from there I struggle to follow it, it feels... silly is maybe too strong a word. I want to give you half marks as half the story is good but at the same time I don't want to mark you down for it not working for me so I've settled on not scoring you.
You have piqued my interest and will read more of your work.