Zaza 02

Zaza 02

Finally, the first ever warehouse underground party in Middleton's warehouse district was only an hour away from the grand opening of the front doors. I mean, that was the longest week ever and wow, the promoter must have been over whelmed by the crowd outside waiting to get in! He wanted a big crowd and he got one!

And my tucked away Graphic Novel give away booth was ready to go and I had dressed in goth as best as I could and everything seemed great to me. I mean, all I needed was to say hello to my friend Rikki before she disappeared behind Sydney's bar.

"Oh Rikki??? Are you going to ignore me tonight?"

"Hey Zaza, ah, no, I was just busy, so what's with the bug eyes?"

"Rikki, I ah, you know, um, well, um, you look like a beautiful club girl, not that you're not hot down at the park in your military surplus outfits. I mean, wow and your silhouette, right? It's even more wow."

"Zaza, are you saying that I clean up pretty good, LOL? And by the way, the damn club isn't even open yet and I've been kissed! Well, I've been pecked on the lips, but cool, right Zaza?"

"Yeah, I'm definitely saying that you clean up good. And it's cool that you caught someone's attention already. I mean, I'll be hidden behind this Graphic Novel give away booth and you'll be, you know, out there showing off your improved and sexy silhouette."

"Hey, Sydney isn't letting me off the hook from being her little bar back bitch, but I do get to run back and forth and all around, so?"

"So what?"

"Did you buy the girls those basically matching leather outfits? I mean, ooh la, la with those leather vests and the little chain that would may or may not prevent any wardrobe failures."

"Well, you're wearing that padded push up bra and all, so."

"Hmmm, yeah, wow, I wish I could keep this silhouette all the time, but a nice thin leather vest would look alright over my warehouse club logo t-shirt and the promoter already said alright. Also, it the promoter's son who kissed me, LOL, when he personally showed me where they keep the bottles of liquor."

"Hmmm, in some make shift office behind the bar, I suppose, right Rikki?"

"Well, with the way you double sucked Jay last weekend and all, you were kind of one up on me. Anyways, have fun being hidden behind this give away booth for the next two hours, Zaza."

"Well, there or may not be a small shopping bag behind my give away booth, but you know, I'm all stuck back here while you make absolutely certain that everyone who approaches the bar notices your new and improved silhouette."

I mean, she could screw off with her new attitude and all, but she did look so much better all cleaned up. Also, I think she sprained my ankle pushing me out of the way to get at that bag, not that anyone else noticed because of my hidden status and all.

And then with about ten minutes to the grand opening, the promoter called everyone over to the front doors and windows so we could all see what we (ah, they) were in for and holy big crowd snap, there was an ocean of people, a sea of black, with a splash of red for color contrast, a shoreline of piercings, OMG, so many piercings that I could see and just as the promoter had hoped, two news crews. I mean, Chase Stevens, live at 6 & 11 from TV3 was there with his cameraman and so was his TV6 News rival, Chastity Butts. Not that I thought it was a good idea because I wasn't even sure that this type of party was legal or anything. But the guy had his crowd, so the doors opened with a big fanfare and nobody even knew that I was there. LOL, for a while. I mean, a new Graphic Novel give away, right?

"Hey, are you the creator of this graphic novel? And what's it about?"

"Sadly sir, I am not the creator, but these copies are free tonight. It's about a guy who gets bit by a Chipmunk and becomes Chipmunk Man. He wears his undies on the outside and has big puffy cheeks."

"Oh, I see, well, if I were a Chipmunk, could I bite you?"

"Well, I would gladly submit to a Vampire, but Chipmunks freak me out with the way they run around so fast. I mean, it's "phew", "zing", "zag", right?"

"Hmmm, did you say "gladly submit" just now?"

"We all have our weaknesses, sir. Or are you the only guy without any weaknesses?"

"No, no, I have a few. Like right now. I mean, your striped thigh high socks are making me weak in the knees and all. So, has anyone spiked your drink yet?"

"LOL, no, not yet, but that might only be because the doors just opened 20 minutes ago or perhaps because the Bar Keep has been ignoring me for a cocktail, even though we're friends."

"Oh, well, I don't think that she heard you, ah???"

"Oh, I'm Zaza. And she heard me alright, she just chooses to ignore me for now. By the way, ah???"

"Sorry, Troy. Anyways, if you know the smoking hot bartender, then you might know that little cup cake working behind the bar with her, right Zaza?"

"Ugh, men! The smoking hot bartender is the Greek Goddess Sydney and the creamy little cup cake is goth reformed Nikki, now take a graphic novel for free and beat it. I'm sure you know how to explain all of your "weaknesses" to them in person for yourself."

"But I can circle back, right Zaza? I mean, club parties like this are all about the odds and the numbers."

Well, snap, someone could have told me earlier! But after I thought it, SOB, club goers probably hit on everyone and hope that one victim falls, right? Unless that's the definition of a meat market, in which case I know all about that.

But thankfully, I spied Sydney coming to my rescue, just like Nikki came to my rescue in the last chapter. LOL, right?

"Here you go Zaza, one virgin Long Island Ice Tea, which will be spiked if you take your eyes off of it for more than 4 seconds. And by the way, listen, club parties like this are just meat markets and the guys will just play the odds and numbers game, so next time, instead of offering up your neck for a Vampire hickey, try asking them how many teeth they have. 24 teeth and above is OK, but push them along if they have less than 18 teeth."

Seriously folks? Is that an appropriate question to ask a guy at a club? LOL, boy, I do need to get out more or what?

"Above 24 teeth is good, got it, Sydney. Where's Gwen?"

"LOL, working the metal detector wand at the front door and with all the piercings all up in this place, well, she's keeping busy patting the guys and the girls down. OK, bye now Zaza."

"Well, hold up, um, how's Rikki doing?"

"Well, hmmm, your creamy little cup cake is having the time of her life, I think. Give her some more cigarettes soon. By the way, directly behind you and down that hallway, is an open area where couples can "talk" and stuff."

"In case someone with 28 teeth hits on me?"

"LOL, oh, you're a comedian now, right? Anyways, you didn't hear this from me, but cup cake is so giddy that she might be your Anime Girlfriend for a night, if that's something you could keep quiet about. I mean, wow, her silhouette on such a small frame of a body, right?"

"And did you count Nikki's teeth? With your tongue? Mm-mmm Sydney?"

"LOL, 27, her four wisdom teeth have been removed, she has one filling on the left and none on the right and she had a molar extraction when she was a teenager. Care to ask me any other questions, Zaza? Like ever again? Mm-mmm?"

That moment when you realize that you have beat, right?

"By the way Zaza, you heard me say that she might be your Anime Girlfriend this coming Tuesday, right? I mean, you seem to be in a position to have a boyfriend and a girlfriend, so don't be stupid about things. Also, um, has the creamy little cup cake ever known you as Zane?"

That moment when you're positive that you have been beat, right? I mean, I needed a quick distraction and a booth full of giveaway graphic novels, so, you know, right?

"Oops, oh sir, would you care for a free copy of a new graphic novel? Please? I need the distraction right now."

That moment when the person who beat you gives that victory glare as she walks away, right? And doesn't come to your rescue.

"Oh, hey, maybe. Oh, ah, Chipmunk Man? Dare I ask? By the way, has anyone spiked your drink yet? Also, if we hurry maybe we can be the first couple to have club sex all up in the place."

"Sir, that's pretty forward of you, so what's your name and do you have dental plan?"

"Oh, now we're getting somewhere, I'm Dave, no wait, I'm Danny, shoot, my name is Darrin, but you know, I smoke a lot of crack cocaine. Also, I smoke a lot crack cocaine, so I don't need a dental plan, but I do save my fallen teeth in a jar. Hey, do you want to buy some used teeth or make a trade for crack cocaine?"

LOL, yup, the after-hours side of a seedy warehouse party, right? But that was alright because I spied my Jay elbowing his way through the crowd and he had his sights set on me. You remember Jay, right? My secret boyfriend from the seedy park? Who is not my boyfriend?

"Hey Zaza, how's it going at your give away booth and has anyone spiked your drink yet?"

"Oh, Jay, it's been one comic book nerd after another and I'm exhausted. But I know of an area that I can catch my breath if you're interested in continuing our relationship."

"Maybe later Zaza, I'm still recovering from Gwen's boner detector wand."

"Fine, I just thought that we could share one last time together because you're probably going to dump me as soon you get an eyeful of Rikki. She has crisp new jeans, a nice silhouette and a purple streak in her hair and all."

"No, no, Zaza, I would never be with Rikki because she's your friend, I mean, even after I dump you, Nikki is off limits. However, Zaza, I may have to ask for forgiveness from you later because all anyone can talk about is some creamy little cup cake running around this place in crisp jeans, with a super cute and alluring silhouette and a purple streak in her hair, so I plead the 5th in advance if I fall to seduction. By the way, have you seen anyone who might fit that description here tonight?"

And remember folks, I never exactly said that Jay was my boyfriend nor did I say that we were in any kind of sexual relationship, so forget about all that and let's move forward.

What you should concentrate on is how Nikki always manages to come to my rescue.

"Whew, I'm sweating it out, Zaza! But what a party, right?"

"Oh, don't tell me about sweating it out, I barely have enough graphic novels left to fan myself with. I mean, whew, right? So, how do you feel?"

"OMG, I feel so reform and if I may, kind of popular. Here, that's all because of you and that's worth some kisses, just, LOL, don't try to sell them on online, LOL, I mean, I've never been popular before, so smooch, kiss, smooch, smack. I mean, this silhouette, right? Also, you should buy me boobs. Just one cup size up so I can keep this alluring silhouette."

"Well, I'm glad you're having such a good time tonight and I'm glad to know that you have 27 teeth and all, so is the promoter going to make me leave soon?"

"Well, I suppose that's why they sent me over here, so yeah, but look, you have about 20 or 25 minutes and there is a guy here who I think you know. I mean, I know his face and I think he would have been in your clique back in the day, so?"

"I mean, forget it, but what guy?"

"He's at the bar right now facing the crowd and I think the facial hair might be something new, so imagine him without facial stubble. So?"

Ah SOB, she was right! Ed was in the crew a few years ago and SOB, we had an awkward moment once.

"Also, Zaza, you should send me under the knife because ooh la, la, this silhouette, right Zaza? Anyways, I need to get back to sweating it out behind the bar with Sydney, so should I nudge him over here? Just fan out the remaining comic books and take a short walk with him down the hallway. And WTF is with this Chipmunk Man? Seriously? You hate Chipmunks, right Zaza? I mean, those puffy cheeks give you nightmares, don't they?"

"Just shut it and take the long way back to bar so your ass can get groped and slapped a little. And yeah, nudge Ed my way."

"Well, I never had that before either, so I will. Anyways, at least buy me some more push up padded bras until your schedule my appointment, OK, one Ed coming up and thank you again for everything."

Stupid drunk horny guys milling about in the common area and slapping and groping a bunch of club ass while I'm hidden just behind the bar wet station!

"Hey, are you Zaza? That hot little creamy cup cake with the amazing silhouette and that alluring purple streak in her hair mentioned that you might have a graphic novel that I might be interested in and OMFG! Chipmunk Man! Wow, can I have like three copies? Or all of them? And can I have your number? And for some reason I'm suppose to let you know that I have most of my teeth, but I never counted them."

"Well, Ed, first of all, Nikki is a creamy little cup cake, not a hot little creamy cup cake, but she is hot tonight. Secondly, OMG, please take the entire stack of these freaky ass comic books and thirdly, you may still have my number."

"Oops, have we met before and I'm stupid, Zaza?"

"Oh, we met before and I don't remember you being stupid at all. Anyways, we used to hang out back in the day, but that was when I was Zane. I've since switched over to Zaza several days a week, so if that disgusts you, then you can go drool over Nikki's reformed silhouette."

Um, pause the story while Ed recovers from absolute shock, I guess. Anyways, while I have a moment, um, our previous awkward moment was, well, a couple of summers ago when Bindi was having a pool party and the pool was packed with the pretty people girls in their skimpy bikinis and young adult guys like young adult females in bikinis on a hot day by the pool and then there was a changing shed and then I burst into the changing shed and then I happened to catch Ed jacking off while mumbling Darci's name and then he was surprised to see me and then I told him not to stop and then he didn't stop, so I may have taken a beach towel and folded it in between both of my hands in an attempt to make him a pussy slit and then he went wild in between my hands and then I guess my first hand job was more of a sawing job. Or maybe a drilling job. It's kind of a blur now. But that's all that happened, so it's cool, right? I mean, my flesh never touched his flesh, so that wasn't gay at all, right?

"SOB Zane, um, that day at Bindi's party, right? I mean, I'm not saying that you purposely lured me into the changing shed that day, but we had a moment, right? Also, Zaza, huh?"

"Oh, all of that day is just a blur now, but everyone got pretty excited over Darci's blue and red striped bikini with the little white accent bows on the sides, so, hey, were we even there at the same time?"

"Ah, actually, no, we weren't there at the same time and um, what changing shed? So, Chipmunk Man, right, ah Zaza? I mean, a super hero with chunky cheeks, whoop, whoop."

"Well, my shift is about over, so if you take all of the remaining copies, well, you can walk me out to my SUV then. And I'm assuming that you are not disgusted with me right now."

"What? Um, can't we stay and enjoy the loud music? And the pierced freaks? And sit at the bar? Close to that sexy silhouetted cupcake?"

"Sorry, Zane could stay, but Zaza has time limits. Sadly, sometimes guys get drunk and all of a sudden, they don't like boys who dress like girls, especially when the cross dresser refuses to suck them off in the Men's Room. Not my rules, but a safe rule for me just the same. So, walk me out, Ed? And by the way, my friend Gwen is working the front doors, so she'll let you back inside on my say so. Also, her tits are probably hanging out now."

Oh, he reacts to that, huh? Men! Anyways, I told Ed that we need to stop by the bar so I could say good bye to Sydney, which was my way of giving myself a moment to gather my thoughts about what I just asked Ed to do. I mean, walking someone to their SUV or car is exactly the same as saying we can have sex, right?"

"So, Zaza, are you going to introduce your new boyfriend? And by the way, you created a monster with this little one behind me, so you better understand right now that she is probably going home with someone tonight."

"Oh, this is Ed and we used to hang out back in the day and if Nikki goes home with anyone, well, it better be with you."

"Oh, so the new boyfriend is the old boyfriend, huh? Cool. Anyways, it was great having you here tonight and Ed, our other friend Gwen has condoms in a bowl by the exit doors. Also, her tits are probably hanging out by now. Just saying."

I mean, Sydney to my rescue again, right? NOT. But seriously, he responded to that" tits hanging out" thing again? Men, right?

And yes, Gwen's tits were basically hanging out and no, it wasn't for a failure of the Hollywood cleavage tape. I'm sure it was from her. Or from Vito. Or from dancing. But it was probably from Vito.

"This is my SUV, Ed, so are you running back inside to see how many other tits are hanging out or did you want to sit in the back seat with me for a few minutes?"

"Well, sitting in the back sounds like another blow job, so I'm thinking we should bend you over and push your undies down."

"Hey, I did not blow you that day in changing shed! I just licked your tip because there was excess stuff oozing out and everyone knows that man juice is sticky and I didn't want you to walk around the pool with a sticky spot, that's all. I mean, my flesh just barely touched your flesh, which is a nice piece of flesh if I remember correctly. I mean, basically all I did was lick it like a Lolli Pop. With a gooey filling. Also, ewe."

"No, I'm not referring to that afternoon in the changing shed when you licked my tip and my entire shaft clean like it was the last Lolli Pop on the planet. I'm talking about the next day when you lured me over to your house so you could wash my swim suit. I'm sure you remember that, Zaza."

"Oh, well, Ed, I hadn't informed my followers about that time, so shut it before my people think I don't always tell the worth truth about things (it never happened, folks)."

"I mean, look two rows down, Zaza, that couple is doing my way, half in the car door, half in the parking lot and both of them are panting and moaning, so?"

Well, SOB, right folks? Right there in the back of the parking lot! Not that I looked for more than a few minutes so I could figure out how they were doing it or anything.

"Well, we should go around to the other side of my SUV so they can't spy on us like we are spying on them. I mean mostly because SOB, that's the party promoter and the DJ's wife!"

"Hah, you said it Zaza, so?"

"Sorry Ed, but safety first, so not without a condom and a lubed condom at that. Boo-hoo, right Ed?"

"Hah, you mean like these condoms that your friend Gwen shoved in my pocket as she was wiggling her bare tits at me, not to mention that she wrote your name on the package with a Sharpie? So?"

Well, I suppose I have mentioned several times that Nikki has failed to come to rescue a few times and then there was the few times that Sydney failed to come to my rescue and all, so I guess it was Gwen's turn to fail to come to my rescue, right? But I will say that the way Gwen wrote "Zaza" diagonally on the condom packages was cute.

By the way, damn, I did it! LOL or should I say that Ed did me! You know, before he zipped up and ran back to the warehouse doors where all those swinging titties were. Which left me stunned at my SUV, but not shocked. It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be and there is something to be said for the heat of moment club sex, LOL, even if it's in the back of the parking lot and not in the Men's Room. LOL, or in the Ladies Room. Or in the "talking" area.

Thankfully, the promoter came to my rescue, just like Rikki, Sydney and Gwen came to my rescue.